cravny

[cravny]

Girl my nightmare was so wild i wanna share it with someone

Basically i was doing my thing, i had a dance show and everything was fine but people around me kept dying from natural causes so like it was normal but i was still really sad but i just had to keep living and everything and then it was my turn.

I was able to suddenly see everyone as ghost and talk to them. I talked to my grandpa (whos deceased irl) and my friends and family who watched me keep living. I felt it was too unfair so i walk up a montain and asked to do something about it.

Everyone was revived, including me but we were back in time so basically i could prevent everyone’s death. Final destination type shit but the way they died this time was directly related to their previous death (ex. If the first time they drowned, the second life would be them enjoying the sun and being dry too long and burning) so i couldnt prevent it but it was okay cause people were satisfied this time and they were ready to be taken.

Details has been forgotten but somehow i got exposed to radioactivity so i was slowly dying from it and losing my hair.

For some reason, one of the person i cared the most got stuck in a hole and i was about to accept that she died, i head her voice calling for me so i went closer and i saw 2 black hands up trying to find a grip, i was so desesperate to save them i didnt care but them a hand with her skin tone rose from the ground so i was confused and went to pull that hand and then a third black hand grap me and got pulled at the same time. I saved my person but the person completely black (not the skintone just black) just watched me, said nothing and went back to the hold.

Later, an accident happened, while trying to save the people in cared the most who was still alive, i ended up in a room with poison in the air, so everyone was falling like flies, i escaped from a window (most people were falling from the window trying to escape and falling to their death). I ended up dying not long after in a bicycle accident trying to go away from that place.

I screamed for unfairness and got giving another chance, this time, for some reason i got given clues about a secret after life and so, when i finally ended up dying from my cancer i knew a secret passage.

I meet some people along the way that were just stuck in rooms and waiting to be reincarnated but they didnt know when so they were just sadly waiting.

I got to a border kind of thing on the road, there were three passages, first one where normal people without clues would go, second one was just written « she » and the last one « he ».

I went to the « she » one with my friend but reconized people on the two other passages. We rode again for a while and then, dreams being dreams, i ended up in a room filled with many puzzles to do. I was with the rest of my team that passed this specific border passage. There was the voice of Hongjoong (for some reason) telling us like 2 sentences that was supposed to hold the key for every puzzles but i could’t hear shit honestly so i was getting mad because we had a timer to figure out all those puzzles. I tried one puzzle and did nonsense cause i was just straight up giving up on this game and as soon as i gave the wrong answer, my side hurted like crazy and realized that everyone felt the same pain so i stopped trying and just visited the place.

I saw one of my other friends (stef for the record) that was just straight up eating and i went to see her and told her « u are not part of my group what are u doing here? » turn out, the « she » and « he » group were both in the same place but they both were seing different puzzles.

Time passed, we failed, someone came to explained to us the answers of some of the puzzles and then she send only me and only one person from the other team back to life to restart.

They send us back directly in the middle of the people dying because of the gaz. So we couldnt do anything except standing there and watching them suffocate (for some reason some where hanging from the ceiling). One of those people were the girl i cared the most and i was just holding her trying to confort her knowing she was only few seconds away from the end. I screamed and cried loudly when she stopped breathing and then the doors got opened, they were coming to try to save the survivors. Only me and the other girl that played the game before.

The dream kept on a bit longer where i was just trying to live a normal life after that but then i woke up cause i wanted to go pee 👍

[cravny]

“are u okay?” no i need more money

[cravny]

Im literally the result of an insecure egocentric person, i keep being worried im too egocentric while never stopping being one

[cravny]

Love it when i randomly remember that i used to fucking try pushing the wall of my « room » when i was back there cause i was THAT desperate to fucking escape and just leave, i was just pushing the concrete wall to use my energy in some ways and just hoping that it would set me free

[cravny]

Dissociation culture is wondering why the brain decided the best response to “I’m overwhelmed and stressed and there are too many people” is to just. turn off language processing.

Like, why. How is “it sounds like everyone suddenly started speaking another language” supposed to be helpful?

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[cravny]

Yeah…. Just realized, i look down when i walk cause that’s what they were telling me to do back there, we werent allowed to have eye contact if there was no one to supervised or maybe i was avoiding eye contact cause i didnt know any of them and i didnt want them to start talking to me cause talking was out of the question without supervision

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Its crazy to me that in 2025, theres still people thinking OCD just means cleaning like yeah sometimes it appears that way but when I’M saying i have OCD i mean that i very much could stay stuck in a room with a door closed cause my brain would convince me that if i touch it, the world is gonna end

[cravny]

Just realized « letting myself go outside with the makeup i want to do » may not be very neurotypical of me

Like i was explaining to a friend and i was like « wait that doesnt sound very sane of me » like wdym i give myself the permission to wear what i want only one day in the whole year

[cravny]

I FUCKING HATE TRAUMA SO FUCKING BAD

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Still having days that u spend trying to avoid to think about something and ended up crying about it anyway but like that something happened almost 8YEARS AGO is crazy to me

[cravny]

Yeah no i dont think im alright tonight

[cravny]

Lock me in again, im tired of thinking and existing, i wanna go back to be nothing like they made me feel back then

Im not made for life

[cravny]

Im not made for life

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Idk how im feeling rn, im like dizzy and like doing good but also not at all idk

I want someone to hug me and tell me im alright but also i feel like im perfectly fine and i dont need no one rn

Im in a weird mood

[cravny]

Love to randomly finding out fucking triggers like looking at the ceiling, and i love discovering that while filming a dance cover

[cravny]

I just wish i wasnt that traumatized

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I fucking almost had a freezing episode in public and bitch I would have fucking cried.

I did overworked myself a lot this weekend so i should have expected it but the way my body frooze for like 5seconds was the most terryfying 5seconds