creationofmyinsanity

[creationofmyinsanity]

for s -

i hope you are always reminded of the vulnerable state you took me in. i was like a declawed cat, and could only speak but whose words were incomprehensible.

i hope i make your skin crawl when you think, and remind yourself that you can never be loved again. to you, women are the equivalent of your pillow and a rubber glove.

i hope the thought of me makes you grind your teeth, clench your fists, and tense your shoulders. you are the coyote to the dog, the fire to the moth.

[creationofmyinsanity]

when i close my eyes, im still 13 and naive. i want to go to college and have huge dreams. i overshare on social media but people are listening. im not an adult who just needs to stop. all is well.

[creationofmyinsanity]

god i want to be worshipped. i want someone to look at me and not see me, but see my nose crinkle at something im upset about. i want someone to notice the order i eat my breakfast in. to know my coffee order. to be able to pick me out from a crowd merely based on how my hand fits in theirs. i want to have someone drop anything for me, the same way id do with them. to pick me up instead of bring me down with them. to support me, and each other, instead of themselves strictly. i want to weave my web with someone and wear the web like a friendship bracelet, not like shackles of what’s comfortable. i don’t want cobwebs. i want intricate, delicate, beautifully planned and proportionate webs.

[creationofmyinsanity]

😔😔😔

[creationofmyinsanity]

reblog to give warm bread to your mutuals

[creationofmyinsanity]

skelanimals plushies

[creationofmyinsanity]

liminal nostalgia

[creationofmyinsanity]

after my death, i hope i am 6. it is summertime, my mom is folding laundry. the room smells like fresh linen and dryer sheets. the sun is beaming through the window of the small room we shared on occasion. the open window allows for a warm breeze to make the curtains flutter. outside, the neighbor kids are playing in the yards where adventures met.

[creationofmyinsanity]

[creationofmyinsanity]

[creationofmyinsanity]

favorite season 🎃 🍁

[creationofmyinsanity]

i wish i could go back and tell 5 year old me

to not worry so much:

about what the school kids were going to think of her

about her parents financial problems

about her future

i wish she would have let herself be a kid.

i wish i could go back and tell 10 year old me:

youtube isn’t going to be your career and thats okay

people like you, i promise. stop thinking they don’t.

the kids who pick on you now will be jealous of you later.

be proud of yourself.

i wish i could tell 12 year old me

that chokers will not be forever in style

twenty one pilots and dan and phil won’t be as relevant in 6 years.

but, you’re gonna see them in concert soon.

stop trying to be so grown up, you’re in middle school.

do better in school, dont end up not studying and fucking yourself over.

dont let them get to you.

i wish i could tell 15 year old me

that the boy you loved is still around.

[creationofmyinsanity]

when the sun starts to shine, glistening upon the april puddles, i know im getting better

the ice filling my joints melts away from the warm rain of summer rays.

the newest form of myself blooms like the surrounding gardens, and i am eager to meet her.

i cant wait to hear of what she likes and dislikes, and see her be her happiest self.

i always get better in the spring.

[creationofmyinsanity]

i’m drawn to you

like a taurean is drawn to the earth

[creationofmyinsanity]

i tried to write your name in the rain

but the rain never came

so i made with the sun.

[creationofmyinsanity]

[creationofmyinsanity]