crippledotter

[crippledotter]

His Little Sparkle Boy, Chapter 1

(this is a satire i wrote for fun btw, it's based heavily upon the homophobes in my class)

Chad walked into the class only to see Jake, his one true pookie kittens, sitting on MAX'S LAP!?!? 

When he walked in and shouted his obligatory "SUBS” like he does every day, his kitten looked up. When he and Jake made eye contact, it was electric.

It was beautiful. Until Max flicked Jake (only Chad could do that), and Jake started laughing with him, stars in his eyes. 

This put Chad in a foul mood. To get his anger out, he went to the corner to scream at his Chromebook when he inevitably lost whatever game he found that day. 

The only reason he was loud was to get Dustybun's attention from where he was lying on top of Max's legs. 

Ms Pennywhistle looks up from where she is at the front of the room. Her eyes lost all will to live like everyone else's do when they set eyes on Chad. 

Chad took it as a point of pride that he could make someone want to kill themselves and everyone around simply by breathing and being ugly.

About 30 minutes into class, Jake shouted, "I LIKE BOYS!” and oh, how Chad wished and hoped that boy was him. He felt his heart cracking open in his chest. "he could never love me…not in the way…that I love him.”  

This personal and silent admission shocked Chad, shocked him so much he shouted, “SKIBUSSY!!!” 

He only realized how out of touch and loserish he sounded when Jake rolled his eyes. Ugh, why did he have to say something so outdated?!  

And then, to make matters worse, his worst enemy walked in…Alejandro. Alejandro was the new kid, he had buck teeth and amazing hair. 

Speaking of Amazing Hair, Jake could have fantastic hair if he only used texture powder. Chad had some in his bag because who would he be if he didn't? Not a sigma, that's who.

It would blend right in with Jake's lice and his dandruff…His beautiful lice and dandruff. Because while some people found those things disgusting, Chad could never find anything Jake did gross… 

Everything he did was elegant and beautiful…the way he interrupted people when he no longer found what they were saying interesting, 

the way he burped in Max's face…Chad wondered what else those lips could do-

No. He cut that thought off. You couldn't be a sigma male if you kissed *other* sigma males…could you? Or would it transfer sigmaness, like those satisfying videos of oil and water playing in the background of Reddit stories on TikTok. Or those E-transfers he never got back from Nigerian princes. 

How much longer do I need to spend in this hell? Chad pondered to himself, then he remembered clocks. He looked up at the clock on the wall with renewed vigour, but it was quickly ripped away when Chad remembered the unfortunate fact that he could not read clocks. 

Well, this throws a wrench in the plans…I have a better idea!  Every time he harassed Daniel, Ms Pennywhistle told him how much longer he had. But he needed a cover…Ah! Of course!  

Having his idea, he raised his hand. Of course, he didn't wait for Ms Pennywhistle to call on him; no, he did not care that she was in the middle of teaching. Instead he shouted "MS Pennywhistle, CAN I GO TO THE BATHROOM?!” because he was a little cunt. 

Ms Pennywhistle sighed and said, "You may, Chad.” "SUBS!" Chad exclaimed happily in his skibidi sigma voice.

He laughed and looked to Jake for his approval, only to find that Jake wasn't looking at him at all; he was talking to Alejandro.

He clenched his fists at his sides, seeing red. 

He decided he needed Jake's attention and walked up to where Daniel was peacefully doing work. He grabbed the end of Daniel's hood and yanked it over his head. 

"LET GO, Chad!! STOP!!” He yelled like a beta male. 

Ms Pennywhistle turned at the disturbance and shouted, "Chad! Leave him be, we have 5 minutes left of class; behave yourself.” Chad simply strutted off like an alpha male, fixing his hair as he went and definitely not like a slutty fruity bitch. 

When he reached the bathroom at the end of the hall, he walked up to the mirror and fixed his fluffy eboy hair, which was so Sigma. 

HE spent the rest of the five minutes of class simply fixing his hair. 

Looking around to make sure nobody else was around, Chad reached into his bag, past the texture power. Past the blow dryer until finally he found what he needed. He took out his tube of brown mascara and carefully ran it along the barely-there hairs beneath his nose.

Suddenly, he heard an all too familiar voice. "Chad? What are you doing?!” Oh no

[crippledotter]

Cruel Prince Headcanon

Jude tries to get into origami but gives up because she doesn't like it but does make a paper crown and decides to give it to Cardan.

Cardan wears it instead of his real crown. Nobody asks why their king is wearing a poorly made sticky note crown but he shows it off at any given opportunity.

[crippledotter]

Can’t believe I haven’t seen anything on here about the rich-people-tourism submarine (steered by a video game controller???) that went missing on the way to the Titanic ruins.

This seems like the kind of story this site usually latches onto