cryptidcheese

[cryptidcheese]

Is it really you. The three weed girlfriends dude?

No, I’m the three weed EX girlfriends dude

[cryptidcheese]

[cryptidcheese]

i posit that the entirety of scooby doo takes place within the world of the worst kurt vonnegut novel, slapstick. the primary theme of both scooby doo and slapstick involves the effects of individual loneliness on society.

in slapstick a pair of twins are born with horrible physical disfigurements and psychic powers that render them as geniuses when in close proximity and average when apart. they spend their entire childhood feigning mental incompetence in order to protect their incestuous relationship, which they one day reveal to their mother (because they think it'll be funny). she immediately sends the girl to an asylum and the boy to a boarding school. the boy only sees his sister once more time in his life in a helicopter many years later and spends decades regretting that he didn't run away with her to keep doing incest.

eventually the boy becomes potus with a plan to end all loneliness in america forever by assigning everyone a government mandated family, which works a little but is ultimately unable to prevent the functional collapse of western civilization. the book ends with the main character, the last president of the united states, walking around the ruins of manhattan (now known as the isle of death) with a tiny band of young ignorant survivors, mourning the downfall of the nation and all the incest he didn't get to do. (the less-read second half of vonnegut's bibliography is wild).

why does scooby doo take place in this book?

the mystery machine gang are obviously a part of one or several of the massive, randomly-assigned artificial families described in the book; this is why fred has thousands upon thousands of uncles to call upon for lodging and why every loser with a batcave or a haunted taqueria or an exhibition basketball team is obligated to treat him like family and put him and his friends up for a few nights. teens like the gang frequently take advantage of this, especially in their teens/early 20s to travel around the united states not unlike how a lot of kids in the EU will travel around for a summer or two after or around finishing high school. (i think people would do this when older too, of course, since in slapstick's america one is legally obligated to be nice to their assigned families, but anybody doing this in their forties is generally treated a lot less cordially.) since they are already celebrities in their own right as mystery solvers that helps ease the sting of another state-enforced visit from your in-laws and their disgusting untrained 200 pound great dane that the stoner kid is letting drink directly from the horchata dispenser

sometimes the societal decay in scooby doo is exaggerated for comedic purposes; one popular creepypasta-esque reinterpretation suggests that the gang are traveling around the midst of a sweeping economic depression. this works intuitively (why else are 50% of middle-aged men in the midwest eagerly dressing up as swamp monsters to commit insurance fraud schemes for their failing pizza parlors/deserted mining towns/cowboy-themed road stop tourist traps? why else would four teenagers and a great dane sleep together in back of a rusty ford econoline every other night?) personally i don't think this goes far enough. scooby doo must take place in a world where society has effectively disintegrated; what we see is much closer to a slow apocalypse than a depression. in scooby doo when we meet a group of people it feels more like one has stumbled into yet another roving band of survivors. obviously there are centers of pseudo-civilization and at least a temporary peace (there's just enough stability to convince most people that the dollar still has some theoretical value and that they should exchange them to watch John Cena or play baseball-themed videogames) but these are small localized walled-off zones designed only for celebrities, the ultra-rich, and a tiny shrinking professional class that is allowed to exist there only because of aforementioned legal obligation or the services they provided (such as solving mysteries!). whereas the peasantry puts on glowing diving suits as a matter of economic desperation, in the upper-class enclaves where they watch wwf all day and go on cruise ships or climb everest they dress up as monsters only to sate boredom, for nothing else can excite them. 99% of the world has become a barren infinite gary indiana where the serfs wallow and the remaining percent lives in a castle and the lines of communication between everybody has broken down so much that rather than talk, they can only think to frighten away

scooby doo is not a real dog, he is shaggy's deformed incestuous twin and they have a psychic bond. fred's really suspicious of them, he's gone for walks at night and seen the van shaking a little when there's nobody but the two of them in the parked car. they both say they were just making five-foot sandwiches, fred nods (there aren't any crumbs but they always unhinge their entire jaw to the floor to swallow them whole, so that tracks) but in his heart he looks at the way shaggy bats his eyes at that mutt when he thinks nobody's looking and fred knows what's going on. should he say something? what if he's wrong? he knows he's not, him and velma have never spoken about it per se but they've shared looks at the right moments, hell she's so smart, she probably figured it out before him. but to say it, to actually make the accusation, he can't imagine a world where those words leave his mouth. so they all just live with it. it's awful. everybody jokes about how fred splits up the gang but the truth is he doesn't want to do it, he hates splitting them up, he'd never do that if it were up to him, not with monsters and crooks on the loose. but shaggy complains if he doesn't, so what is fred to do?

[cryptidcheese]

Today round ass puppy revealed to me, exhausted, at the end of my rope, that her training wasn't working not because she didn't understand, she did, she did, but instead because treats, chicken, turkey and pork apparently weren't enough motivation. She began obeying every word with startling accuracy as soon as she was offered something else. Doing backflips and stunts with pyrotechnics as prompted for the promise of a pea. A pea. She's a dog. A pea. A pea. A pea. I have to carry peas around now. On my person. Personal peas. 🫛 peas

[cryptidcheese]

I made this really hastily please forgive me

[cryptidcheese]

i hope suzanne collins kills mr beast

[cryptidcheese]

"The Curicksous Case of Bethjamin Button" in another universe...

[cryptidcheese]

i think we need to bring back calling people internet famous instead of calling them influencers like there needs to be something borderline derogatory injected back into it

[cryptidcheese]

This episode is so important to me because it subtly shows Rick’s character development and how much he’s truly changed. Memory Rick would have done anything to get Diane back, even if it means manipulating and driving his own daughter insane. But the Rick we see now would do anything for BETH. We see that in this scene perfectly. Rick apologizes for his actions, even if he wasn’t the one who committed them. “Your real dad is hear now and he’s more emotionally open” is a perfect line to sum all of this up. Rick is hear NOW. He’s hear to be a better father to Beth, to be the father Beth should’ve had in the first place. And I think that overall shows how much Rick truly has developed over the years. He’s ready to let go of Diane, he erased her memory from his head for god sake, all so he can be present for the family he has now. This whole season has shown Rick forming relationships with each family member. He went back to the abandoned citadel so morty could look for his fidget spinner in ep 3, he listened to morty and followed his lead in ep 7, he went out for dinner with summer in ep 9, he even sat and watched TV with Jerry in the post credit of ep 8. And of course episode 10 as a whole shows how Rick hurt Beth I’m the past, how that’s reflected her today and how he’s ready to be a better father to her now.

On a side note these two parallels are genius

[cryptidcheese]

have this picture of my punk friend doing my other decidedly normal friends’ juggalo makeup

[cryptidcheese]

tonight i swore a blood oath to the minimum wage workers at my local subway

[cryptidcheese]

[cryptidcheese]

[cryptidcheese]

I wanted to draw falin too but ran out of time😔

speed paint under the cut

there are flashing colours at 3:40-3;47 so be warned

[cryptidcheese]

Half-foot Marcille my love

[cryptidcheese]

I wish I had coloured the apple better or added a leaf or something for colour lol, but it's alr

[cryptidcheese]

missing them