cryptidcrane

[cryptidcrane]

[cryptidcrane]

An excerpt from the book I’m currently working on!

“I was wondering how you’re doing.” 

I took a moment to consider what to say next. This had come pretty far out of left field, and so rarely was I asked- I didn’t want to waste the opportunity to share my feelings with Peter. “Well… All of this stuff notwithstanding… I would say I’m doing alright.” So much for sharing.

He frowned. “Alright?”

“I’m eating, I’m sleeping. I’m waking up and going about my days without terrible difficulty. I’m alright.”

“You seem anxious- just about all the time. Is there any way that I contribute to that?”

He stared me down with his doughy eyes. This was bizarre. Was this his way of expressing concern? It was so formal. I tried to roll with it. “Yes, to be honest. I worry about you a lot. And for good reason, I should like to think.”

He nodded and took a somber lick from his strawberry cone, catching some drips that were melting down the side. “I’m sorry, Ira. I wish I could do something to alleviate that anxiety, but my immediate response would be to tell you to stop caring about me so much, which I understand to be something you won’t be willing or able to do.”

“You’re damn right on that,” I said. 

“Right. I’m not used to it. I don’t really understand your unwavering affinity for me.”

I felt blood rising to my cheeks at this. “Do you want me to explain?”

His face betrayed him, his lips pursing as though he’d eaten something sour. He stared at the table, trying to hide a smile. “No, please.” After a pause, he added, “I think that would be difficult for me to hear.”

“All the better- it might be equally difficult for me to express,” I admitted.

“And anyway, I sell myself a bit short there. I think I can understand it to an extent.”

“And to what extent might that be?” I took a bite out of my mint chocolate chip.

He looked perplexed at the action, but shook his head and moved on. “I feel similarly towards you. In the... affinity… area of expertise.”

We sat there in constipated silence now, chomping and licking respectively. 

“Cool,” I said, about thirty seconds later.

“Cool indeed,” came his terse reply.

“Anyway.” I bit the bottom of my cone now, letting the melted ice cream drip down into my mouth. “I’ll try to stop worrying. It’s just.. I trust you to do a lot of things. And take care of yourself is not necessarily one of them. I want you to be well and prioritize your happiness.”

“I understand, Ira.”

[cryptidcrane]

🦐

There may be plenty of fish in the sea But there will only ever be one poppinest shrimp for me

[cryptidcrane]

  My every Idle thought falls back on my latest fond memory of you      I am so relieved        admiring takes no toll        as it would to Narcissus        Even though I am in this mirror, too        I am the love in your eyes reflecting back        But stare as I might No cursed flower grows there, bent and twisted in a glory all its own   I remain the self I see through your adoring gaze And instead I bloom

[cryptidcrane]

In the autumn morning the windows thickened with condensation become my bright canvas as I make the smooth transition from nightdreaming to daydreaming about you