csuitebitches - Tumblr blog

[csuitebitches]

For the past 4 years I have been focusing relentlessly on on my glow up: I went to a nutritionist who perfected my diet and my body got much better, I got laser and many other beauty treatments, I got into Harvard, I learnt 5 languages and I built a much better wardrobe. However, to focus on my glow up I decided to remain celibate and now I would like to start dating again. The thing is that it’s so difficult for me to find men that I find even remotely interesting, whether because I feel like they lack the intellect or resources or something else, how do you suggest I find someone? For the context, I like in a major city.

girl first of all?????

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Second of all, get back into dating by casual dating.

Remember, you don’t have to date someone seriously from the get go. I’d honestly say that get on Hinge, go on a few dates with different people, do not commit to anyone or anything mindlessly. I’d recommend for the initial 2-3 months, focus on going on lots of first dates. Even if you don’t want to use the apps to find a long term partner, use the apps to build your dating game. Your aim is not to have sex with every man you meet but to essentially “use” them to figure out your standards.

Here’s what you should expect to “achieve” from this little exercise:

What you really want in a man

what you deem attractive and what you don’t

what sort of values he should have

your ideal first date

the level of chivalry you want from him

what you want him to bring to the table and what you want to

what you want from a relationship

understand your love language and how you communicate

how you flirt and what sort of flirting you like

here’s what you should NOT DO:

Have sex with a man who has not earned the right to be your boyfriend

go on multiple dates with someone you intuitively feel you have limited compatibility with (learn to cut men off politely and swiftly)

Get too vulnerable

get too dependant on someone

get obsessive with him just because it’s been a while that you’ve been with someone

Lower your standards no matter how attractive or rich he is

lend him money or your time

Go to his house for the first date (it’s a TRAP) or the second or the third or the fourth. If he can’t plan a decent date, be it a walk in the park or dinner, OUT

share any information regarding your finances, health, family troubles, anything personal. That had to be earned.

[csuitebitches]

What do you think is a fair split for someone making 30k and someone making 330k? My boyfriend wants to split 70/30 but I think 90/10 would be more fair. He doesn’t deem this to be fair at all.

I’m not sure what you guys are splitting for, I’m going to assume it’s rent.

let’s keep this very very simple.

monthly, he’s making $27,500. you’re making $2,500 per month.

let’s assume for examples sake that the monthly rent is $3000.

according to his proposition, he’ll pay $2100 (70%) which is 7.64% of his income and you’ll pay $900 (30%) which is 36% of your income.

so is this fair? Absolutely not.

according to your proposition, he’ll pay $2700 (90%) which is 9.8% of his income and you’ll pay $300, which is 12% of your income. You’re still paying more!

whatever the amount is, the percentages of your income have to either match, or he has to pay more.

in this particular example, the two of you paying 10% out of your incomes would make the most sense.

How can he even consider you paying more relative to your salary when he’s making more than ten times your salary?

[csuitebitches]

Hi, how are you doing? I hope you are doing well. I really enjoy your blogs and advices. I had this question stuck with me for a while now. After a long break because of my mental health, I am going back to study. And I am thinking about pursuing a degree in either finance or economic (bachelor). Which one do you think would be better option to go for?

depends on what you like, what you’re good at, what you see yourself doing full time later, what career path you want to go follow, the sort of effort and time you want to put into this, the learning curve that you’re able to deal with, how good you are with numbers and logic, where you want to be, the tuition of the school and some other factors.

The only way to know this is by understanding other people’s experience in those areas - and that you will only find out by talking to them.

[csuitebitches]

Hello! Firstly I wanted to say I really enjoy this account, I like your tips and just overall think your outlook on things is very clever. Secondly I was wondering if you had any advice on self improvement? For context I deleted social media about two months ago and have been reading a lot instead (from classic fiction to the economist articles) but I’m starting to get a little lost now or maybe just the novelty has worn off. I don’t want to go back to scrolling for hours on instagram but am unsure how to stay focused/ what other things I can do to stay educated on culture and continue growing- any advice to battle this? Thanks!

read a book called Stolen Focus. It’ll help you gain momentum in your journey.

have a workout plan and what works for me is setting some sort of a goal for that year, like running a marathon or something

Pick up languages - you can go on Preply and learn a new language

Pick up a sport - get your buddy to come and play tennis or pickleball with you!

Go for hobby classes. In my city we’ve got this company that arranges hobbies/ experiences every month, like wine making and pottery and dancing etc. it’s really fun, we get to meet new young adults and it’s a good time.

Enjoy the silence. Meditation, journaling, create a flower diary, make a vision board, organise your wardrobe and room….

Go out in nature. Hikes, walks, biking trails, there’s so much to explore.

plan a solo getaway.

get a job! Apply for jobs in areas of interest, prep for the interview and give it your best x

[csuitebitches]

The Charisma Myth: things that I liked

Three quick tips to gain an instant charisma boost in conversation:

Lower the intonation of your voice at the end of your sentences. Reduce how quickly and how often you nod.

Pause for two full seconds before you speak.

The very next time you’re in a conversation, try to regularly check whether your mind is fully engaged or whether it is wandering elsewhere (including preparing your next sentence).

Expensive clothing leads us to assume wealth, friendly body language leads us to assume good intentions, a confident posture leads us to assume the person has something to be confident about. In essence, people will tend to accept whatever you project.

when you can project both power and warmth together, you really maximize your personal charisma potential.

charismatic behaviors must originate in your mind. Knowing how to skillfully handle mental discomfort is even more important than knowing how to handle physical discomfort. Anxiety is a serious drawback to charisma. First, it impacts our internal state: quite obviously, it’s hard to be fully present while you’re feeling anxious. Anxiety can also lower our confidence. Anxiety, low presence, and low confidence can show up directly in our body language, as well as reduce our ability to emanate warmth.

 The single most effective technique I’ve found to alleviate the discomfort of uncertainty is the responsibility transfer. Pick an entity—God, Fate, the Universe, whatever may best suit your beliefs—that you could imagine as benevolent. Imagine lifting the weight of everything you’re concerned about—this meeting, this interaction, this day—off your shoulders and placing it on the shoulders of whichever entity you’ve chosen. They’re in charge now. Visually lift everything off your shoulders and feel the difference as you are now no longer responsible for the outcome of any of these things. Everything is taken care of. You can sit back, relax, and enjoy whatever good you can find along the way.

Golfer Jack Nicklaus said that he never hit a shot, even during practice, without visualizing it first. For decades, professional athletes have considered visualization an essential tool, often spending hours visualizing their victory, telling their mind just what they want their body to achieve.

“There is good evidence that imagining oneself performing an activity activates parts of the brain that are used in actually performing the activity,” Professor Stephen Kosslyn, director of Stanford’s Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences, wrote me. Visualization can even physically alter the brain structure: repeated experiments have shown that simply imagining yourself playing the piano with sufficient repetition leads to a detectable and measurable change in the motor cortex of the brain.

Silvia recently confided that visualization is one of the secrets to her success. Before key meetings, she’ll imagine “the smiles on their faces because they liked me and they are confident about the value I’m bringing them. I’ll imagine as much detail as I can, even seeing the wrinkles around their eyes as they’re smiling.” She visualizes the whole interaction, all the way through to the firm handshakes that close the meeting, sealing the deal.

A twenty-second hug is enough to send oxytocin coursing through your veins, and that you can achieve the same effect just by imagining the hug. So the next time you’re feeling anxious, you might want to imagine being wrapped up in a great big hug from someone you care about.

Self-confidence is our belief in our ability to do or to learn how to do something.

Self-esteem is how much we approve of or value ourselves. It’s often a comparison-based evaluation (whether measured against other people or against our own internal standards for approval).

Self-compassion is how much warmth we can have for ourselves, especially when we’re going through a difficult experience.

It’s quite possible for people to have high self-confidence but low self-esteem and very low self-compassion.

Types of charisma:

Focus: Focus charisma requires, of course, the ability to focus and be truly present. Good listening skills are nonnegotiable, as is a certain degree of patience. To develop focus charisma, cultivate your ability to be present.

Visionary charisma makes others feel inspired; it makes us believe. It can be remarkably effective even though it won’t necessarily make people like you. We assess visionary charisma primarily through demeanor, which includes body language and behavior. Due to the fact that people tend to accept whatever you project, if you seem inspired, they will assume you have something to be inspired about.

kindness charisma comes entirely from body language—specifically your face, and even more specifically your eyes. Kindness charisma is primarily based on warmth. It connects with people’s hearts, and makes them feel welcomed, cherished, embraced, and, most of all, completely accepted.

Authority charisma is primarily based on a perception of power: the belief that this person has the power to affect our world. We evaluate someone’s authority charisma through four indicators: body language, appearance, title, and the reactions of others. you’ll need to learn how to “take up space” with your posture, reduce nonverbal reassurances (such as excessive nodding), and avoid fidgeting. You may need to speak less, to speak more slowly, to know how and when to pause your sentences, or how to modulate your intonation. Look expensive. 

Avoid holding a drink in your right hand, especially if it’s a cold drink, as the condensation will make your hand feel cold and clammy. Before shaking someone’s hand, whether you are a man or a woman, rise if you’re seated. And keep your hands out of your pockets: visible hands make you look more open and honest. Make sure to use plenty of eye contact, and smile warmly but briefly: too much smiling could make you appear overeager. Keep your head straight, without tilting it in any way, and face the person.

Ask people open ended questions, focus on questions that will likely elicit positive emotions. With your questions, you have the power to lead the conversation in the direction you want. In fact, even when you’re speaking, the one word that should pop up most often in your conversation is not I but you. Instead of saying “I read a great article on that subject in the New York Times,” try “You might enjoy the recent New York Times article on the subject.” Or simply insert “You know...” before any sentence to make them instantly perk up and pay attention.

Another way to exit a conversation with grace is to offer something of value:

Information: an article, book, or Web site you think might be of use to them A connection: someone they ought to meet whom you know and can introduce them to

Visibility: an organization you belong to, where you could invite them to speak

Recognition: an award you think they should be nominated for

When someone has spoken, see if you can let your facial expression react first, showing that you’re absorbing what they’ve just said and giving their brilliant statement the consideration it deserves. Only then, after about two seconds, do you answer. The sequence goes like this:

They finish their sentence

Your face absorbs

Your face reacts

Then, and only then, you answer

The next time you’re given a compliment, the following steps will help you skillfully handle the moment:

1. Stop.

2. Absorb the compliment.

3. Let that second of absorption show on your face. Show the person that they’ve had an impact.

4. Thank them. Saying “Thank you very much” is enough, but you can take it a step further by thanking them for their thoughtfulness or telling them that they’ve made your day.

It’s not just metaphors that can paint the wrong picture. Some common phrases can have the same effect. When you tell someone, “No problem,” “Don’t worry,” or “Don’t hesitate to call,” for example, there’s a chance their brain will remember “problem,” “worry,” or “hesitate” instead of your desire to support them. To counter this negative effect, use phrases like “We’ll take care of it” or “Please feel free to call anytime.”

You can deliver value to others in multiple ways:

Entertainment: Make your e-mail or meeting enjoyable.

Information: Give interesting or informative content that they can use. 

Good feelings: Find ways to make them feel important or good about themselves. 

The longer you speak, the higher the price you’re making them pay, so the higher the value ought to be. 

If your goal is to communicate power, set the pitch, tone, volume, and tempo of your voice in the following ways:

Pitch and tone: The lower, more resonant, and more baritone your voice, the more impact it will have.

Volume: One of the first things an actor learns to do on stage is to project his voice, which means gaining the ability to modulate its volume and aim it in such a targeted way that specific portions of the audience can hear it, even from afar. One classic exercise to hone your projection skills is to imagine that your words are arrows. As you speak, aim them at different groups of listeners.

Tempo: A slow, measured tempo with frequent pauses conveys confidence.

To emanate vocal warmth, you need to do only one thing: smile, or even just imagine smiling.

Charismatic people are known to be more “contagious”; they have a strong ability to transmit their emotions to others.

The most effective and credible compliments are those that are both personal and specific. For instance, instead of “Great job,” you could say, “You did a great job,” or, better yet, “The way you kept your calm when that client became obnoxious was impressive.”

Here’s one specific—and surprisingly effective—recommendation for phone charisma, courtesy of author Leil Lowndes: Do not answer the phone in a warm or friendly manner. Instead, answer crisply and professionally. Then, only after you hear who is calling, let warmth or even enthusiasm pour forth in your voice. This simple technique is an easy and effective way to make people feel special. I recommend it to all my business clients whose companies have a strong customer service component. The gains in customer satisfaction are impressive.

Charisma takes practice. Steve Jobs, who appeared so masterful on stage, was known to rehearse important presentations relentlessly.

Retain at least a certain measure of equanimity. Most charismatic leaders are known for their ability to remain (or appear) calm even in the midst of turbulent circumstances.

[csuitebitches]

Hi again 👋

I'm the visa embassy anon! And I'm back here to say that the interview went well and I got the approval mail today 🫶🫶🫶 your tips helped and I wanted to share the news with you, thank you 😊💜

good job! ❤️

[csuitebitches]

What are the best sources to learn effectively how to manage parental properties/ real estate? I want to learn so one day so I can help my family since they’re not really good at following it much

I’m 99% sure we’re not from the same country, so I can’t give you advice on that because laws on buying would differ. Besides, I don’t preach about investing in any specific asset, nor am I the person to ask this specific question to. I’d say YouTube it, but take it with a pinch of salt. Tumblr is the last place for any sort financial or investment advice.

[csuitebitches]

Hello, can you please advise me on how to stay collected and appear confident?

I'm an international student and am currently applying for a student visa for the UK, I received an email for an online interview (from the embassy) and though I have researched and been preparing the answers, I am still feeling anxious and I don't want to give a wrong impression to the officer and get denied for the visa. Thank you.

never let your thoughts become negative.

the more positive your mind remains, it will shine through your body language. Tell yourself constantly that you are confident, you’ve worked hard, and that you’re going to do an amazing job.

Practice posture and body language. Film yourself talking and answering questions, then look at the video and note down what needs to improve. Do you fidget a lot? Do you touch your hair too much? The more you practice the easier it will get.

Lastly, wear something that makes you feel confident on the day of the interview. Make sure you’re not running late, plan your day out the night before. Eat something light, go over your answers, practice in the mirror and you should be alright.

[csuitebitches]

Hello, Can you please list some resources on the art of storytelling when it comes to communication?

[csuitebitches]

which classic Hollywood movies would you reccomend?

I’m on a Marilyn Monroe comedy streak at the moment. Gentlemen love blonds is light and sweet, I just began watching Some like it Hot. I prefer watching romantic comedies!

[csuitebitches]

practice, practice and practice. Practice your ideal self privately so that publicly you don’t fumble or feel awkward. Practice the way your ideal self walks, talks, lives, eats, everything even when you’re alone. Over time, your body will get so used to it that it will come to you naturally.

[csuitebitches]

Chic Girl series

Part 1: Mentality, discipline and emulating your best self

Part 2 : crafting a personality

[csuitebitches]

Crafting a Personality and Capitalising on it

How do we craft a personality that is socially charming yet true to our roots?

How do we mingle and meet new people without feeling awkward or shy about it?

How do we not lose ourselves while following all these blah blah etiquette rules?

Welcome to part 2 of my Chic Girl Mentality series. 🤍

Today, we will focus on crafting a personality that is still you but better.

First, let’s talk about people in social settings. You’ll meet people who are confident, secure and socially charming. You’ll meet quiet people who may be equally socially charming or just very shy and conscious. You’ll meet the braggers and the doe-eyed followers. There’s a lot of different types of people in the world and knowing how to gracefully navigate most of them is nothing but a learned art.

People, regardless of their bank balance, are insecure of what they do not have yet. This can be looks, money, experience, lifestyle, and so on. How do we capitalise on this without exploiting or manipulating anyone?

By knowing how to tell a story.

That doesn’t mean that you need to become a public speaker or politician, it just means that you need to be able to craft intriguing stories about yourself, using your own life and experiences, to “sell” an interesting version of you socially. We’re all interesting people but only a few of us know how to say that we’re interesting without saying that we’re interesting.

Experience 

People, even those with money, will always be more attracted to those who have experiences, especially, unique ones. Whether it’s travelling to exotic locations or trying new culinary destinations, or wearing unknown designers, knowing obscure artists or writers, or being at the top of your industry… experience is the most important thing to cultivate first.  You already have experience. If you went to school, high school, college, joined clubs, your first job, any travelling, etc - these are all experiences.

Make a list of 5 of the most interesting experiences you think you have.

Hobbies and interests 

Have a couple of lowkey hobbies that you feel enthusiastic about. Whether it’s doing some charity work on Sundays, or cooking, or pottery, whatever it is, keeping a hobby is healthy. 

There should be something to you that an acquaintance can remark about: “CSB? Oh yes, I’ve heard that she’s a great dancer.” 

Vulnerabilities 

Certain vulnerabilities must never, ever be shared. It will 100% be used either as gossip or blackmail. 

However, coming across as someone with no weaknesses is rather untrustworthy- it makes the other person feel that you’re clearly hiding something. 

Make a list of vulnerabilities that are small and you don’t mind sharing. These should be vulnerabilities that will never ruin your reputation in any form but can be used as a form of bonding with empathy. 

And make a list of hard core vulnerabilities you know you should never share with anyone. Keep it memorised rather than written down. 

Experience + Hobbies or Interests + Safe Vulnerabilities = Personality

Storytelling 

Now that you have some experience, hobbies, interests, and your “safe” vulnerabilities sorted even if it’s limited - what will make it stand out is the art of storytelling. Some storytellers can make even the most mundane experiences sound magical - it’s all in the words and delivery. There’s a reason why every Holy Book is a story, packed with lessons and morals - it’s impactful, easy to remember and recall and relatable. Craft your experiences into stories. Use those 5 experiences that you noted down and start writing them down as stories.

Take up an online storytelling class or watch videos. Start honing this skill by writing and reading good literature. 

Refine your 5 experiences further. Run it through chatGPT, say them out loud and most importantly- start testing them out on people. See what makes them chuckle and what doesn’t; what makes them empathise and what doesn’t.

A famous comedian whose name I can’t remember does the same thing. He creates his set. He goes to a small pub and tries it out on the audience there. And the first set is always the first. The audience may not laugh at his jokes, they might boo him or sometimes, he might get a laugh out of them. But every time, he goes home and refines his set further. Once his set is fully refined, and he accomplishes his goal of the audience peeling with laughter at every joke, that’s when he goes on national TV / on tour etc etc.

The most important thing is to craft your stories of your experiences in a way that it delivers the value you want the person to remember about you.

For instance, if I want to be seen as creative and innovative, I won’t tell the person in front of me, “oh, I’m soo innovative and creative!”

Rather I will weave that into a story. “When I was 24, at my first job in the advertising space, we were losing clients left and right. And one weekend, I was on a trek on the mountains - it’s one of my hobbies - this idea hit me, and I suddenly knew exactly how to get our clients back. My team was hesitant about my idea, and we got a lot of pushback, but we went ahead. The night before my launch I was so nervous, I got hardly sleep. And you won’t believe it, but the idea worked! The response was fantastic.”

Let the other person come to the conclusion of you being innovative and creative. Human beings love to deduce things and jump to conclusions and provided you set the context the right way, you should be able to project the version of you that is the best part of you.

Vocabulary 

A sign of a good education- even if you don’t have it - is a diverse vocabulary. I’ve always had a little more respect and awe for those who are articulate, can speak smoothly and speak confidently. I’ve noticed that my American friends, for instance, tend to talk fast with lots of filler words, and sentences tend to end with a pitch up instead of down, which to me indicates hesitation or indecision. Speaking slower, ending your sentences with pitch going down to indicate a full stop rather than up makes you seem like a refined speaker even if your subject is utterly stupid. 

Body language and mannerisms, social interaction 

Watch old classic Hollywood movies to really understand this - especially romantic ones. Choose ones with a femme fatale or siren-like female lead, and watch how she enraptures the male lead or the audience around her. 

A combination of fantastic storytelling and body language will take you places beyond your dreams. Some of the biggest frauds, scammers, politicians, criminals are also some of the best storytellers. Humans are attracted to stories, we pick up body language intuitively, we can sense when someone is nervous or isn’t. Unfortunately the world isn’t a kind place and will not necessarily help you out of your shyness- in fact, that might just make you the best target for exploitation. 

Storytelling + Vocabulary + Body Language = Your Best Personality

[csuitebitches]

Hi! Tips on personal branding without changing too much of yourself?

Check this out

[csuitebitches]

Hi, I'm a pretty shy person except when I'm with my friend. How can I stop living in someone else's shadow?

your friend is probably your comfort place. Sometimes comfort places can become an area of co-dependency.

I’d suggest you first reflect on whether you think you’re co-dependent on them or not. And try to understand the extent of it. can you interact socially without them?

can you meet new people without them?

can you do things without their approval or praise?

Figure out if there dependency and how much there is.

the biggest lie you’ll see on the internet is becoming fully “independent.” I also preach independence, but mostly in terms of financial, not emotional or friendship or relationship wise. Human beings are social animals and we need to be with one another. A little bit of dependability is necessary for any relationship to work. So don’t be stressed if you realise that you depend too heavily on them, you don’t have to end the friendship. You just have to pull back in certain areas that require you to make decisions independently (such as job hunting, college applications, financial, etc etc you get me).

I’ve said this once and I’ll say it again: soft skills are muscles that need to be worked out.

For any workout, you need to first figure out where you are currently and where you want to go (your desired goal).

Second, you decide the situations you feel shy in. I’d suggest you do this as a writing activity. Make four columns. Each column will have these questions;

When do you feel conscious?

Why do you feel so?

What are the thoughts going on in your head?

for the second question, I want you to use an emotion wheel to identity your emotions correctly.

work on these three columns first. Write down anything and everything that comes to your mind.

only when you feel satisfied with everything on those three columns do you finally look at the 4th column:

4. what’s the solution?

I want you to work on the solutions yourself. Do not ask anyone for help. Figure it out with your brain, I’m sure you’re smart.

after creating your solutions list, you now have a game plan. Use the solutions to create an exposure therapy.

How to create an exposure therapy plan:

Arrange your list of solutions in an order of least fear to the most amount fear you have if you had to enact the solution.

Start your plan by doing everything on the list, but starting with the least fear inducing items.

As you accomplish each item, ensure you make a note of it, whether on your phone or your diary. A lot of the time we don’t count our successes, only our failures. I want you to be happy even with your smallest wins. To be happy with that, you need to acknowledge it. And a great way of acknowledging it is to write them down.

it may be difficult, and it should be. Nothing gained in life is inherently easy. The difficult situations will make you stronger. You may screw up, you may make mistakes and guess what? It’s all a part of life.

[csuitebitches]

Mentality, Discipline, Emulating your Ideal Self 

I’m starting a new series called Chic Girl Mentality. I’ll cover all sorts of things that you need, and perhaps a reality check or reminder or two. 🤍

Discipline is sexy. Discipline is one of the sexiest things you notice in a person. 

What makes discipline so sexy? Why is a person who is consistent with their habits, goals, achievements so attractive?

No one is born naturally fit with a six pack, your talents and intelligence will 100% go to waste if you don’t hone them continuously - you need to be disciplined to be your best. 

Discipline is hard. 

It’s also what helps us overcome hardship. 

Going from overweight to a healthy body; working on your confidence; upskilling yourself, getting a degree- these are “hardships” that one overcomes. 

And the only way to overcome is to be disciplined and work towards your goal. 

When other people - or even yourself - see the work that goes in for you to be you, the first trait that jumps out is resilience. 

Resilience shows mental strength. Mental strength shows dependability. Because it shows you’ve overcome hardship. 

Discipline also means that you have a standard. You have a certain level of self respect, you respect yourself enough to look after yourself. 

Sexual discipline, for instance. That’s the first thing I look for in a man. Sexual discipline relays a lot of information- the level of being impulsive, respectful, “in charge”, in control of themselves and their emotions, behaviour, etc. 

Which is why disciplined people are perceived as more likely to be successful- it shows you’re proactive, you’re tenacious, etc. 

And that’s exactly how it culminates into confidence.

This is how you build confidence. 

Only when you are disciplined towards your goals, will you achieve them - and achieving them will give you a sense of satisfaction and “yes I did it! Even though it was hard!” - it creates a sense of security and self reliance. 

You’re seen as put together, mentally strong and capable, you’re seen as dependable. 

Whether friend or partner, you will - if you have a healthy state of mind - always gravitate towards people who are dependable. 

Dependable people are secure. They’re secure about themselves, their decisions, they can overcome mistakes or bumps in the road. 

Disciplined people are also perceived to have a very strong level of self control. Controlling your impulses is one of the most difficult things to do as a human being. Whether it’s binge eating and drinking, watching brain-rotting shows, lazing around - they are examples of you not having self control. 

Self control and discipline go hand in hand. No one really enjoys working out or eating clean or studying for their betterment, but self control allows you to do these things. It shows how much you trust and value yourself. Making the decision you know is wrong for the sake of being comfortable shows that you do not have self control, you are not secure, you are not safe and you are not dependable. 

How you treat yourself shows other people how you treat others. Now, you could have personal issues but still be sweet as sugar to everyone you meet - however, this is a ticking time bomb. You’re overextending yourself. Overextending yourself does not show your authentic self! And why do people connect to one another?- because they feel that the person in front of them is “real”, authentic. 

Discipline is sexy, ladies. Remember that. 

[csuitebitches]

are you good friends with the people you’ve made on bumble?

so close that I attended her wedding!