d1gitalw0lf

[d1gitalw0lf]

They offered me a job as a fucker. Yeah you heard me right, a fucker. Job is to fuck things. Boss points at something and says fuck it, I fuck it. That's my job. And I'm damn good at it. Pays like dirt and wears on the mind. Wears on the mind.

[d1gitalw0lf]

admit it. you’re mad at me for secreting a black sludge that turned all the animals into bigger scarier animals

[d1gitalw0lf]

this is how little dogs look at you when they know you're about to pick them up

[d1gitalw0lf]

Babe, is everything okay? You've barely touched your Castlevania: Symphony of the Night stove

[d1gitalw0lf]

Impulse control

[d1gitalw0lf]

I actually passed away quite a few years ago, but I'm a very private person and never told anybody.

[d1gitalw0lf]

(person who learned from childhood to make themself as small and unimportant as possible to avoid being a burden) yeah its okay we dont have to do my thing if you dont want i dont mind

[d1gitalw0lf]

Thinking about the Colima Spider Vessel. they really captured her humble expression

[d1gitalw0lf]

you dumb asshole, you just won $0,000

[d1gitalw0lf]

GOD i can't fucking do ANYTHING WRONG (throws beer bottle at the wall but it bounces off and lands perfectly right side up)

[d1gitalw0lf]

where's that post that's like "morrissey is insufferable. thank god only four of his albums with The Smiths and nine of his solo albums are timeless classics"

[d1gitalw0lf]

This is a very good point

[d1gitalw0lf]

sibling relationships are so strange... like i love you. you will never understand me in a way that matters. we are the same person in drastically different ways. we are sewn together. we don't talk. we are attached at the hip. you wish i was never born. can i call you. let's eat together. i forgive you. etc

[d1gitalw0lf]

*puts a disk in u*

[d1gitalw0lf]

“i asked chatgpt” okay well i asked starclan and they gave me a foreboding prophecy involving a broad-shouldered brown tabby with amber eyes

[d1gitalw0lf]

anomalocaris would be the perfect animal for aquarium touch tanks like they have for stingrays if not for the fact they went extinct 500 million years ago

[d1gitalw0lf]

What if her primary means of communication was e-cards