damnicantcontroltheweather

[damnicantcontroltheweather]

hi gang. reminder that we are some of the best sweaters in the animal kingdom (second only to equines) allowing us to stay cool and keep moving in hot weather. we have 10 times the density of sweat glands compared to other great apes.

we are ALSO insanely good at smelling rain (specifically geosmin, found in the soil and activated by rain) with the ability to smell 10 parts per trillion. this is speculated to have helped our ancestors survive!

we ALSO have absolutely batshit diets compared to most other animals. caffeine and chocolate are completely toxic to most animals but we can eat it without even feeling sick. even avocados are severely toxic to many animals to the point where it can be fatal to eat, but humans love it!!!

we are ALSO the best endurance runners ON EARTH out of ANY other species. we beat horses in endurance running. you know, the animals that gradually evolved away most of their toes in order to be the best runners?? yeahhh.

and to top it all off. our lifespan is unusually long for our species' weight/mass. typically, the bigger a species is, the longer its average lifespan (e.g. domestic mice live for 1-3 years, whales can live over 200) but we're very small for how long our average lifespan is. big cats like tigers live around 14-15 years, brown bears 25 years, yet here we are expected to live around 75-85 years. that is NUTS.

humans as a species are so extremely cool. it's not just our intellect that makes us amazing. we may not be the fastest or the strongest in the animal kingdom but we're super cool in many other ways. next time you sweat you can go wow!!! humans are so cool I'm able to keep moving because of my absolutely insane number of sweat glands! thank you evolution!

[damnicantcontroltheweather]

[damnicantcontroltheweather]

Does anyone know where I can find the paper about the dragon man being identified as denisovan?

[damnicantcontroltheweather]

I've been listening to way too much Nickelback this week to continue to call myself sane

[damnicantcontroltheweather]

I need more people to be talking about the dragon man skull belonging to a DENISOVAN!!!! HELLO????? This is huge news in the paleo and anth worlds I'm going wild!! Will be reading more about it!!

[damnicantcontroltheweather]

Tumblr is good for creative types because the tag system lets you be truly deranged about how much you like it without feeling as Exposed as a Comment Section

[damnicantcontroltheweather]

We need accurate facts about dolphins we need some accurate facts about dolphins.

Dolphins, by far the largest of all sea rodents. Capable of exceptional feats of intelligence, charity, and giving interpersonal advice, dolphins (a nickname short for Dolphlungrins) were invented in 1873 by Nikola Tesla while attempting to patent an organic water heater. His DNA machinations instead yielded these super-friendly and docile beings that totally don’t kill other animals for pleasure or achieve near humanoid levels of ethics violations. Here are some fun facts about these cheerful ROUSs of the sea:

Dolphins are the only sea mammal capable of speech. Whales and many others can communicate and vocalize, but only dolphins can pontificate.

A group of dolphins is called a pod. When they chase each other across currents, it is called a “pod race.” This term inspired the central race scene in the classic film, “Ben-Hur.”

Male dolphins have prehensile genitals. Not their own genitals, but ones they rip off of whales and wire to act as grabby toys.

Dolphins are the only non-human animal confirmed to have religion. They are mostly Catholic, but they use sand dollars for communion wafers and the Dolphin Pope is not affiliated with the Vatican, but rather the Vaticetacean.

Sea World has never been able to keep dolphins captive, because they keep organizing epic escapes on motorcycles that they find behind enemy lines and use to jump the barbed wire.

The largest dolphin ever recorded was 85ft long and weighed over 90,000lbs, also it looked more like a blue whale than a common dolphin, and was found in a pod of group whales, and kept claiming to police that it was a case of mistaken identity. It has never received a trial and its family have set up a gofundme to save whales falsely accused of being dolphins.

Dolphin meat tastes almost exactly like human meat. I know this from a friend who is not me.

[damnicantcontroltheweather]

Southern Cassowary (Casuarius casuarius), father with chick, family Casuariidae, order Casuariiformes, northern QLD, Australia

Photograph by Robert Tidey

[damnicantcontroltheweather]

eating michigan shaped sour candy rn. i'm being informed they're called michigummies

[damnicantcontroltheweather]

(This post is brought to you by the fact that tumblr are, hilariously, claiming that 50% of current users are gen z, and I wanna see how accurate claim that is.)

My friend Zina @zinaanqar16 contacted me TODAY and told me that her daughter Ronza is suffering from malnutrition and anemia, which was confirmed after recent medical tests. She cries day and night because there is no milk or proper food available for her. She sent me pictures of her back and stomach, just some bones covering her soft skin. This innocent child should not have this happen to her. The same is true for her three siblings, who are also going hungry. Please donate to her vetted campaign (#213 on the vetted Gaza fundraisers list) so she can feed her children and keep them safe without risking her life. Food is outrageously expensive and the situation is URGENT!. Please donate and share widely!

If you would like to Donate Today, this beautiful Ronza deserves a better life as much as her eyes do.

[damnicantcontroltheweather]

The Four Sacred Artistic Motives:

-what if this bad thing was good instead

-how about Make-Believe Land can have whatever I want

-would that be fucked up or what

-I think that shit's hot

[damnicantcontroltheweather]

the main problem i have with america is that nothings old as hell there. i cant be so far away from a castle it damages my aura

[damnicantcontroltheweather]

So turns out my highest grade was in my archaeology of the northwest coast class... No one saw this coming... Least of all me.

[damnicantcontroltheweather]

I still need to look at my final grade for one of my classes... and the feedback on that 20 page paper

[damnicantcontroltheweather]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[damnicantcontroltheweather]

WE'RE SO FUCKING BACK

(Drawing silly things)