darkblacktea

[darkblacktea]

any updates? what ever happened with that new dude you were seeing?

I crushed his soul and bailed. Apparently I’m a bad person for being blunt that I wasn’t intimately interested and realized I was making a mistake.

“Heartless bitch” as he said. I think it’s more heartless to lead someone on endlessly.

I’m around. I’ve just been pretty apathetic and distracted due to working 12 hour days six days a week. I’m going to Portland in less than a month and may leave my tropical home behind.

[darkblacktea]

Hope you’re not developing schizophrenia 😬

I wouldn’t be surprised. It runs in the family.

[darkblacktea]

Where have you been? Any updates on anything?

Hey there. I’m around. I’ve been dealing with some health complications including findout out my left atrial is enlarged. Whoop heart disease?

Tumble flagged a lot of my posts with their new NSFW ban and it was a major turn off. Also, Anhedonia.

[darkblacktea]

oh god did it kill you

I keep seeing it at night

[darkblacktea]

eerie entities of the florida forests

Off topic, but, valid in a way. Since psychopathy and sociopathy isn’t typically associated with fear.  The past few weeks since moving back to the estate, I’ve had this terrible luck - overall bad energy and vibes. A newly discovered heart problem, work related injuries back to back, and frankly the very first night I arrived as I stood outside with a burning Southern Cut in between my middle and index, I felt the surreal terror that something was watching me.  Initially I’d dismissed it as paranoia of being in a different environment, but I should have felt safer given I’d literally gone from the middle of the downtown chaos to a much safer property in the ritzy, rural/suburban hybrid area of town.  There’s a bit of ‘swamp woods’ as I call them, invasive Australian Pine, that make up a weak excuse for a forest in the area - but regardless, still a forest, along with miles of canal and lakes. This neighborhood is populated, but poorly lit at night, in an effort to not disturb wildlife and reduce light pollution. There’s maybe five street lamps on the entire lane I live on - about a mile stretch of road.  So this feeling of paranoia and the ‘something is watching me’ vibe would ALWAYS begin the moment night fell, the moment I dared to step outside for a smoke. Anyone who smokes knows that nothing gets between you and your cigarette - I have literally become so encompassed by this paranoia that I no longer smoke at night, to give you perspective. I would rather deal with nicotine withdrawals than the overwhelming dread I feel upon stepping out into the blackness of a Florida night.   This is coming from me who, for my entire life, I have no real history of feeling this way. Of course I’ve been afraid before - but this is distinct, something I can only describe as terror and suspense - you’re prey, and you know something is waiting for the right opportunity to do whatever it will to you.  My parents have been out of town on holiday, leaving me to tend to the property in their absence. Tonight, around 11 pm I took out the pup for a late night potty break, and immediately the moment I broke free from the screened patio and into the actual wilderness around home I felt that pang in my gut. This was necessary, the dog had the runs from stress induced colitis since he’s practically my mother’s shadow and she’s been MIA for nine days - and I was in NO mood to be cleaning up piles of liquid shit in the morning before a 12 hour shift. So despite taking him out before sunset, it was urgent to take him out again before bed.  Cigarette between my teeth, I shake the feeling and do a quick look around. We have a house diagonal from us on the street - it sits alone on a decent plot of land, along the forest line. It is dark outside, darker than usual - I couldn’t find the moon in the sky tonight, a waning gibbous I was looking forward to seeing. I found that bizarre.  As my parents dog ran rapid circles around the massive, yellow flowered tree in their lawn in a bout of excitement, the feeling grew. Overly cautious as always, I did another scan of the darkness and for once I felt valid fear. Or, adrenaline, as one would call it.  In the ‘neighbors’ lawn, on the hill ( our septic systems are under the house, so every house is “on a hill” that’s about 15 feet or so high ) was what I initially believed to BE my neighbor.. but as I stared I realized the lights were off in his house, and he was an old frail man. This person - this thing was not frail - now to give perspective on how far away the neighbor’s house is... its a good 150 yards from our home. It isn’t -close-, but it isn’t overly far, per say. The longer I stared the more my fear grew, this thing was humanoid-- an ivory, off white color. It had no clothes on, no genitalia, no anything  It also had no face. It had no fucking face.  I know you might be saying ‘Well Tea, how did you know it had no face if it was dark out?’ Simple chap. A singular street light that sits parallel to their home illuminating this thing. One of the five that runs down our lane.  Not only taking into consideration all of this, really thinking about it - it was HUGE. From the distance I was to see it so clearly in the darkness, it HAD to be at least seven feet and it was hunching over. It remained frozen, eerily still and solid in such a way that it came off as more of a statue than an entity. I felt that, if I blinked, if I broke my line of vision, it would move.  All of this had conspired in less than five seconds, maybe six at best - even my parent’s dog had stopped at my feet and was naively staring up at me in confusion as to why I wasn’t chasing him around the yard.  In a panic I ushered him back inside, my gaze repeatedly darting back to where the creature- human- thing- was. It was still there, still stationary, as I clambered with the door and pulled it shut with a hard lock following on the deadbolt. I shut off all the lights inside, closed the blinds, and then I crouched down to peak back out after a minute.  It was gone. Gone as if it’d never been there - confirming that it wasn’t a tree I hadn’t noticed, if it WAS a person than it was not my fucking neighbor. The man is in his 80′s and barely clears 5 feet with his cane, this thing was huge. There’s nobody IN my neighborhood who remotely fits what I saw, and I don’t even know what I saw.  I’m not one to give in to paranormal conspiracies, not one to necessarily dismiss or promote those things. I have to work in a few hours and yet I’m still so jarred by what I saw that I can’t bring myself to sleep, a valid fear that its still looming out there waiting. My mind, a scientific and logical one, is still spinning in circles trying to reason and comprehend what I saw in an analytical matter.  So perhaps this feeling I’ve been having isn’t paranoia, and perhaps something actually is watching my house... watching me.  I have no clue what to even research, other than ‘pale humanoid thing in Florida’.  For once, I’m freaked tf out. 

[darkblacktea]

i miss this dog

[darkblacktea]

Your lack of text posts lately is saddening me. Will you be returning to regular posts soon?

Sorry about that. Yes, I will. I haven’t forgotten about the blog, and somehow I’ve garnered another 200 followers in my literal silence. ( Mind boggling how that operates... )I’ll be back to regular posts soon. 

[darkblacktea]

i dont want the life you live.

[darkblacktea]

[darkblacktea]

IG: @beebosloth

[darkblacktea]

The United States started experimenting with atomic bombs in the 1940′s. In order to test the effectiveness of these experimental explosives, fake towns were constructed. Dubbed “Doom Towns,” because of their inherent purpose, these facilities attempted to mimic the presence of life to the best of their abilities. 

The images we are left with present a surrealist depiction of an ironically titled “nuclear family” waiting to be decimated. 

[darkblacktea]

L I P S

[darkblacktea]

Being impulsive and immediately regretting it

[darkblacktea]

“I’m trying really hard to not act how I feel.”

-impulse

[darkblacktea]

sorry for the absence

Its been a crazy few weeks! No, the blog is not dead.  I had a few medical mishaps come up. Wednesday the 12th, I abruptly passed out for no apparent reason at work. Straight up black out for a solid five minutes; my coworkers ended up calling an ambulance. My blood pressure was low, but normal, glucose was normal. Boss forced me to go to the hospital, I found out from the doctors I may have some heart problems - so I have to go see a cardiologist later this month, perhaps after the new year, to find out if my left atrial is enlarged.  Then on Friday, the 14th, my left arm got mauled by a dog at work. Had to get a few stitches and am experiencing a bit of nerve damage.  Couple that with Tumblr committing suicide by trying to cover their ass and get back in the Apple app store, I have had little interest in posting.  Normal posts will return soon. I do apologize to all of you for the delays. Its rather difficult to type with my left arm being out of commission.  Regards, black tea

[darkblacktea]

how have things been recently? you've been a bit inactive. are you well?

Hey there! I’m not dead; Tumblr committing suicide rather turned me off from wanting to post for a while.

Also, my arm got mauled by a dog at work and I have no feeling in it, which has put a damper on me posting

[darkblacktea]