darkforestdreams

[darkforestdreams]

PLEASE, JUST... LET ME KNOW IF YOU SHARE ANY OF THESE FEELINGS.

Sorry, I'm... I'm just not feeling well, in any meaning of the word...

I'm dealing with heavy burnout and trying to calm down my over-active anxiety EVERY DAMN DAY. My daily goal is just trying to get through the day without a breakdown, and sometimes I can't even do THAT.

I feel so disconnected from my family and I feel like I can't do anything about it because it'll just risk causing harm... and I can't deal with any more pain.

A series that used to be so dear to me, and gave me something to look forward to every day when there was nothing, is just... unrecognizable at this point. It has become so mean spirited and backwards that it just hurts to get involved with these characters I used to adore. I don't know how to deal with it and the stories I've come up with... I'm just afraid it'll hurt more.

I feel like I have to make these BIG, Miyazaki-san quality fan works for legitimately ANYTHING I'm inspired by.

The country I'm stuck in... I'm sorry, but I thought the promise for freedom and equality were REAL. Guess not. I'm so glad my only real tie to this place is that I was born here. Otherwise I only have European ties and ancestry, as far as I know. But I'll still be lumped in with the worst this country has to offer because of SOMETHING I AND MANY OTHERS KNEW NOT TO SUPPORT AND ALWAYS OPPOSED--BUT FUCK US I GUESS.

My view of the world... everything and everyone just feels so backwards. Nothing seems to make sense anymore. Nothing is consistent anymore. I've been hurt too much by false hope to even dare try hoping for ANYTHING getting better. There's no low that humanity won't sink to.

Again, I'm sorry. I don't mean to depress anybody, I just... everywhere I turn it feels like life has been fucked up. I want to go back to the world that I thought had cared, but I guess that's just another delusion.

[darkforestdreams]

(Buries face in hands) Can some people please... PLEASE just take off the romance-colored glasses!? UGH!

Romance is glorified and overrated, and it makes me sick to my stomach when people try to shoehorn it in to other people's NON-romantic relationships, both real and fictional.

Family, friends--bonds like that are just as fulfilling!

I was thinking of something really REALLY adorable, but at the same time, concerning for the DCA boys. Since they worked with Autem/aka you, every single day, they start to grow more and more fond of you, to the point that their system starts to have weird errors, but not like virus errors, more like....LOVE errors. Why did I say it's concerning for them!? Simple, because they are entertained bots, made to take care of the children/toddlers and the strong emotion like love itself isn't really in their programming, so they think they are suffering a new virus and making them paranoid and scared. Luckily it's nothing to be afraid of, they just start to love YOU~

NO

I see NO LOVE relationship with any of my bots.

We are… FAMILY….

CLOSE FRIENDS….

TOUCH STARVED GROUP WHO WANTS TO BE LOVED AND CARED

[darkforestdreams]

Reclusa fascinates me as well!

I'm glad the story made it clear WHY he's irredeemable, but the idea of a redeemed Reclusa has me so curious. How many ways can you redeem a character that's already done so much damage? What would be the thing that'd make him change when he's so certain in his worldview? Would he even realize that he was changing? Would his defeat be enough to shake his perspective? And, if not... what would do the trick?

AAAUUGH SO MANY QUESTIONS! (And I love this nutcase gremlin for it!)

listen listen

I've been thinking about an AU where Reclusa instead of dying in the end is left without his powers, he is rescued, watched or tied up and forced to live in harmony, help and make bonds with others. It's fun to see Reclusa, a being who spends his time alone, forced to create bonds.

In other words, therapy.

It sounds crazy and even dangerous to keep someone like him alive, but I always laugh when the villain is forced to take a "redemption arc" only to realize that they have formed true bonds of connection.

I was inspired by The Book of Bill

As much as I like it when a bad guy stays irredeemable, I'd also love an excuse to dissect Reclusa's personality and figure out what makes him tick. He fascinates me.

On a related note... your idea of taking away Reclusa's powers and forcing him to live in harmony reminds me of a crappy conceptual doodle I made right after playing Brothership.

Is this anything?

[darkforestdreams]

SAMS Father's Day

I like to think Sun sings to Dazzle the song "You'll Be in My Heart" from Tarzan, and Jack and Solar play wrestle together.

Two very different types of parents QwQ I love them both

[darkforestdreams]

cannot remember if i posted this here or not so-

yeets

this was a show of the week entry from way back when in the discord

[darkforestdreams]

This is so wholesome

[darkforestdreams]

Ok but like

The genuine trauma that comes from being built for this specific purpose, to be a performer prebuilt with a “good guy” and “bad guy” mode just to be thrown into childcare and told that you need to suppress this side of yourself or else people will get hurt

Like you never asked for this, you are trying your best but you are really NOT built for this

And slowly it becomes harder and harder to control this other side of yourself, whether it be you, or your brother, or your coworker you share a body with-

You are attached, tied by fate

Trying so hard to be what they need but you just can’t and you keep messing up and they are talking about getting rid of you and keeping you locked away forever and-

[darkforestdreams]

things that ARE appropriate during pride month: - taking your (crowd-safe) pokémon to pride - giving your pokémon flag accessories or using non-toxic dye - destroy transphobe with hyper beam

things that AREN'T appropriate during pride month: - recruiting the leaders of several terrorist organizations from alternate timelines where they've killed millions of people and harnessing the power of their various legendary pokémon to conquer all of reality

[darkforestdreams]

No Title

Take me, Beast,

I beg of you,

Make the pain stop.

Turn my skin to bark,

A shell standing along the howling wind.

My fingers can be your twigs

And my arms as your branches.

Forgive my brittleness,

Unable to hold a single leaf,

As I have no source for warmth.

But before you take me,

Please let my cries be carried by North’s Wind

As they never could be heard in my voice.

I promise I will carry the despair

Through the darkness and the light

To another lost, useless life.

And when I’ve done it,

Given you another Edelwood,

Let me burn and praise the fire.

[darkforestdreams]

STARTING TOMORROW

Scientists in weather and climate are live streaming for 100 hours to make their case to the American public.

They are live streaming, but engagement is necessary for it to work. SHARE THIS WITH PEOPLE, RECORD THE STREAM, POST CLIPS OF IT THAT ARE FUNNY, if you can tune in, PLEASE DO!

This is something that has to be heard by as many people as possible. Put it on in the background! See if you can get other people to watch it! Do whatever you can do support those who are trying to be supported! Anything and everything helps!

TUNE IN HERE

article I posted screenshots of here

[darkforestdreams]

Haven't really watched any of the shows for a while, but if Ruin goes Face-Heel Turn I'm going to be disappointed. I thought Ruin was fascinating and wanted to see how someone like him, someone who did something so bad that he'd never be able to redeem himself of it, could live a "normal" life with that.

I'm so mad at Ruin, honestly. I shouldn't be surprised that he didn't actually care for the others as much as he pretended but I was swept up in the actor's grand deception this time. It wasn't bad enough that he literally told Lefty, "Fuck your friends," and didn't say anything or show any remorse when Lefty said, "They're your friends, too!" but THE MOTHERFUCKER LITERALLY LET HIS MONTY OUT OF CONTAINMENT, AND HE DIRECTLY CAUSED LEFTY'S DEATH BECAUSE OF IT!

But he didn't even care, either! And if he does show any "remorse" in future episodes, I won't buy it for a second. Even Eclipse cared more about Lefty's death and he actually tried to help, but he was just too late... I was really starting to like Lefty, too. And now I just don't think I can like Ruin anymore, at least in canon. Fuuuuuhuuuuckkkkk.

[darkforestdreams]

This is vague but I don't care. I am so sick and tired of the universe dangling something hopeful in front of my face, and then yanking it back when I think I almost have it, and then it never comes back.

It's pointless unless it's teaching me not to hope. I'm trying to go down that road, but I'm just so fucking desperate for SOMETHING GOOD to happen to my family. Something good that isn't temporary.

This has been going on for years at this point, and each year has been worse than the last. I can't go a day without ruminating thoughts; pain, resentment, frustration, misery, depression... all of them haunt me and I'm so sick of it.

My dad is constantly stressed, my mom... god that's a whole different story.

Just... WHAT DOES THE UNIVERSE WANT FROM US!?

[darkforestdreams]

I made these as a way to compile all the geographical vocabulary that I thought was useful and interesting for writers. Some descriptors share categories, and some are simplified, but for the most part everything is in its proper place. Not all the words are as useable as others, and some might take tricky wording to pull off, but I hope these prove useful to all you writers out there!

(save the images to zoom in on the pics)

[darkforestdreams]

Once you start harassing people over their tastes in fiction, you've gone too far.

You should not be sending anon hate.

You should not be telling people to kill themselves.

You should not be contacting people's family members, job, or school.

You should not be sending people gore.

You should not be telling people that they deserve their trauma.

You should not be attacking people over liking something fictional. At that point, you're the problem. Not the person making things you don't like, YOU. Harassment is never acceptable.

[darkforestdreams]

Something I made while dealing with my own stuff and hoping drawing this would pick me up somehow. Maybe it worked.

FT my cat. His name is Mischief

[darkforestdreams]

TW: Family Alcohol Addiction Rant (Depressing)

God, I feel so selfish and stupid right now. There are real problems going on EVERYWHERE on this damn planet and all I can think of is if a family member of mine actually still loves me or not.

I don't know even why I'm writing this. This is the fourth week in a row. And I'm TIRED of it. I won't disclose who the family member is, but they're someone I see literally every single day. I feel bad for what they're going through; their situation is kind of similar to mine, but... this addiction of theirs has been going on for three fucking years, and this is the LONGEST relapse they've ever had that I've seen. FOUR. WEEKS. FOUR FUCKING WEEKS!

I've lost track of the months. It barely registers to me that it's the middle of May, but it feels like the middle of September. My family and I are treated like garbage, and we can't hold this person accounted for because they don't even remember their awful drunken behavior! And we won't be able to until the addiction is gone for good, which takes like two years, AND EVERY RELAPSE IS A RESET BUTTON!

The crying. The screaming. The self-pity. The dismissiveness. The hatred. The pain. I'm so sick of this.

My family and I are going to talk to this person because we are DONE. This person, whether they realize it or not, is practically holding us hostage. I have NO independence--any chance of it has been taken along with my happiness, my healthy mindset, my trust... I should have just shut the fuck up and taken the steps to independence years ago. Maybe then I could have avoided being dragged down into the depressive abyss THAT I'D JUST CLIMBED OUT OF. And not just dragged, dragged EVEN FURTHER DOWN.

I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS SHIT. I DID NOT SPEND YEARS TRYING TO FIX MYSELF AND BE HAPPY JUST FOR IT ALL TO BE RIPPED AWAY BY THE PERSON WHO USED TO BE MY CLOSEST FRIEND AND FAMILY.

And... this is so... STUPID, but... I'm even questioning if they even remember any of that. We used to go out all the time, we talked about our opinions, and I could tell them just about anything.

And this, oh, it's even stupider! I'm questioning if they even really love us anymore. It's been A MONTH LONG without even a week's worth of a break! Are they really that blind to how much they're making US suffer!?

They have reason for being the way they are--they aren't good reasons but reasons nonetheless--but I've lost all empathy and even sympathy at this point. Now I'm just worried if they're even going to survive this--and if they are planning to kill themselves I WILL TELL THEM THAT I THOUGHT THE SAME THING, BUT I HAVEN'T BECAUSE IT WOULD DESTROY THE FAMILY BEYOND REPAIR, EVEN THOUGH I'M USELESS!

Everything is just too much--I can't work on or improve myself at all because I'm so emotionally and mentally exhausted ALL THE TIME. I've been so frustrated, so scared, so depressed... I don't blame anyone who doesn't want to deal with me, the confused sad-sack failure of life... the person that's just made to be any higher beings' punching bag and target to play cruel and sickening jokes on.

And here I am, still being selfish! Oh, poor me, poor me, me, ME. It's disgusting and pathetic.

It's taken so long for me to talk about this because it just felt like nothing but bratty whining, but at this point I just want to go into hibernation. I can't think about death--it's too tempting, especially if it's the only way off of this rotten planet that's been ruined by people I don't even want to associate with, and too many people KEEP ruining it for their own selfish desires and disregard the people they HURT. And they get NO PUNISHMENT. NO JUSTICE.

I won't kill myself, but I'm not really living, either. You don't have to bother with trying to make me feel better--I'm in too deep. It won't do anything.

We're going to talk to this family member and lay down an ultimatum for them because we CANNOT tolerate this anymore. And if they refuse... I'm just going to have to go no contact with someone in my own home. They can't be helped if they're at that point. I'm just going to have to cram all of this pain and confusion and rage down, keep my head low, and just try to get through each day. That's what I've had to do for so long now. Just numb myself and survive--that's all I can do at this point.