darkvioletthefirst

[darkvioletthefirst]

Still missing him

As the 7 month mark of losing Liam comes up, I'm starting to think to myself more and more again. I can't bother to mention him to my friends or my family because I just can't get over him. I've lost a lot of people in my short life and I still cling onto the ones that meant the most to me. They've lost people too but they don't talk about them as much as I talk about Liam.

One Direction and, through them, Liam, helped me where my family and friends could not. They taught me so much about stuff where I would have been lost without them. Liam made me laugh, as did the others, and I got to witness some magic that I didn't know was possible because of my own life.

Liam had a ton of potential during his life and his life being cut short the way it was stabs me through the heart, because what if I end up like him? Of course, not the exact way, but by being hated by people because I don't want to blend in with the people who we shouldn't blend in with.

I am working on becoming a cop and right now, cops get a lot of hate, but someone needs to be a cop. While I don't know what exactly is going to happen to me as one, I'll still face some kind of hate, even probably by my best friend. The current media keeps showing me how much cops are being watched over so many minuscule details, and it just reminds me more of Liam. Cops can't breathe without the media blowing up, just like celebrities.

Last time I mentioned Liam to my mom, it was late at night and mentioning him pissed her off because she was having trouble with her phone. When I mentioned him, I had forgotten she was struggling with her phone as she didn't type like she was pissed off. My mom was the one who told me about Liam the day after her and I had a big fight. If I dare mention Liam now with what's happening with us right now, I'm sure it will end up like last time. I know I shouldn't keep mentioning him every month, but I'm still mourning him and the fact that Bear, the boys, and Liam's family don't have him anymore. I know myself what a death in the family so young does to you, so my heart hurts for Bear a lot.

I'm missing this smile, face, and dancing guy almost every single day:

GIF by therogueflame

[darkvioletthefirst]

Dark Violet is the alias name of my first OC. Her real name doesn't matter, as I haven't thought about her story for a bit, but the story is tied into the Batfam. I put "thefirst" because Dark Violet was already taken.

@fabnebuous @66sharkteeth

Hey! Tag Game!

I'm gonna try to start one of these lmao

Reblog with the story behind your username

In Breath of the Wild, Urbosa calls Zelda her little bird, I modified it and stole it basically. sometimes I am also Birb because it's just funny

@itsa-thing @i-love-zelda-16 @fithesworddweller @alientheoristemmy @lizzable @astoria-nyx-moon @amayis-bigtower @loaboo @preposterousray @stargazin-on-mars @rav3nz3r0 @crims0nr0s3 @clowncore09 anybody else that feels like sharing ig

[darkvioletthefirst]

@fabnebuous @faithfromanewperspective @ashtonsunshine @irwinnoway @niallermybabe @ravenclawdirectioner @wiiildflowerrr

Reblog if you want your followers to tell you which fictional character you remind them of.

[darkvioletthefirst]

I like how I'm into many things, and am good at certain things.

2. I like my personality, as it tips the scale vs what I look like.

3. I like my resilience.

4. I love my music taste (hits just about everything, maybe).

5. I like my curiosity.

@fabnebuous @maracl3a @ravenclawdirectioner @rainyhoundanimemusic @ashtonirwinwhore @lukeypookeyfan32-blog @confusionmeisss @niallermybabe @faithfromanewperspective @irwinnoway

hi! when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)!

Ahhh, fuck. Ok, umm, like…

My hair? I like my hair color and the waves I guess.

My figure/body type, I have good sized ass and other.. bits.. and not a big belly, y’know?

Uhhh, my… biceps? They’re pretty big.

I’m smart I guess? At least compared to other people.

I liked that I can read faster that most people. I like that a lot.

Six moots @mysterious-autistic-norse-angel @humble-introvert0808 @apjofan @spicypurplemouse @b0ydeleted @jokerandthethief

Four followers @butterflyoffaith @katander @kadahoythere @blueboyinthestars

[darkvioletthefirst]

10 Years

On the 11th of February, it'll be 10yrs since my life turned upside down, more than it already was.

I don't know how I'm going to get through it.

I don't know how I can sit with the fact that I lost 3 people, in my family, 10 years ago. It feels like 1 or 2.

This is how I feel old, through how-many-years-ago and in-a-few-years.

[darkvioletthefirst]

Since last I knew, purple was Liam's favorite color, I colored the wings purple.

It was my first time making stickers. Niall's kept acting up.

[darkvioletthefirst]

Or Happy 'Whatever-Holiday-You-Celebrate' for those of you who don't celebrate Christmas

[darkvioletthefirst]

Reblog this to ease the back pain of the person you reblogged it from

[darkvioletthefirst]

Oh please do! None are finished though.

Reblog if you write fanfic and would be totally down with your followers coming into you askbox and talking to you about your fic

[darkvioletthefirst]

This is the money Marge. Reblog for good fortune

[darkvioletthefirst]

reblog if your inbox is always open for new members of the fandom who may be a little shy or intimidated. doesn’t matter whether or not you’re a “popular blog”; everyone here is equal and if you’re reading this as a new person/someone considering entering the fandom, we will not turn you away!!!! talk to us!! make friends!! i more than understand being shy but trust me this fandom is chill come join us in this hellhole

[darkvioletthefirst]

Reblogging because people NEED to know. Strong women are the ones who don't do this. Same with strong men.

Find strength to get rid of these people. Use the authorities. Use your non-abusive friends and family.

You weren't born to suffer by the hands of others.

Be safe. <3.

I don’t know how many boys follow me, but I gotta bet there’s some. I just wanna tell y’all to be careful.

Abusive girls exist and what they’re doing is seen as like “badass tough don’t take no shit” but your girl should not hit you. Ever.

She should not demand for you to hand over your phone to look through.

She should not yell at you and humiliate you either alone or in front of people.

She shouldn’t make you distance yourself from your friends or family.

She shouldn’t scratch you or twist your arms.

She should not call you names.

She shouldn’t tell you ‘she’ll kill herself if you break up’

These are just a few examples of abuse and it’s just seen as okay when girls do it and god knows I’ve fallen victim to it a few times, but you shouldn’t have to.

Never worry about not being in a relationship. If they’re worth it, they won’t hurt you.

No one has the right to hurt you.

[darkvioletthefirst]

I saw this and decided to do it as well!

Please decorate for me?

[darkvioletthefirst]

A Poem for Liam Payne

Today I put together a playlist

And played it.

Just a playlist of sad songs

That remind me of you

And the others I've lost.

I know you're all in peace,

But down here, I'm hardly standing.

Everything piles up,

Until it breaks through.

Keep seeing things that

Brought you to that point.

Your family, brothers, and friends

Are all grieving,

Way more than me,

But I feel like everything's

Crumbling from underneath me.

One thing leads to more.

Home doesn't feel like home,

Writings are being abandoned,

Spoons aren't being used.

I always admired you

And the rest.

You guys brought me peace

When I was living nightmares.

I wish I could have done the same

For you guys.

I keep trying to move on,

But everything holds me back.

You didn't deserve this.

Nobody does.

Oh Liam,

A bright star for many,

Hope for several.

Oh Liam,

You were a fluffy blanket for many,

A melody for several,

A beacon for those lost.

Oh Liam,

Hugs and listening

Aren't enough to

Show our pain

For losing you.

Oh Liam,

I hope you find up there,

What you were looking for down here.

[darkvioletthefirst]

Happy Birthday Michael!!

Which birthday should I celebrate?

This guy:

on November 20th

or a classmate on November 18th.

I'm going with option number 1.

[darkvioletthefirst]

Tumblr Boops are way more fun than this Halloween party I'm at.

[darkvioletthefirst]

Since the booping has returned, reblog if it's okay to spam you with boops!

I wanna be polite and not spam random people without permission , ,