davidjordanphoenix

[davidjordanphoenix]

I threw away everything good in my life because I believed death had to be the answer.

[davidjordanphoenix]

I Am Unable To Understand The Love I'm Being Shown.

[davidjordanphoenix]

God it's my fault it's my fault people have been kind to me people have been radically kind to me and I've turned it to poison because I can't look at the good things I have

I have taken kindness and turned it into venom in my own brain I've been cruel I've been cruel I have been so cruel and I don't know how to fix what I've done I've made too many mistakes I've hurt too many people and I don't fucking understand how to fix what I've done

Jesus God please have mercy on me

[davidjordanphoenix]

Jesus God I don't understand I don't understand

I'm in so much pain and nothing will ever come from it, there is no peace there is no respite I will never ever live a life that is worth staying around for, the world is cruel and I've ruined my life with my own hands over and over and over again and there is never anything that will make this suffering worth it

I want to kill myself I want to kill myself there is no place for me there is no place for me my life is my own fault it's my own fault I ruined everything I ruined everything over and over again and I don't fucking know what to change and I dont know where to go and I dont want to leave the people that have made life worth it I dont want to be alone I dont want to be alone I don't want to be alone

I'm not strong enough I'm not strong enough I can't understand anything and I'm not strong enough I'm not strong enough I'm not strong enough I'm not strong enough

THERE IS NO REASON TO STAY ALIVE THERE IS NO VERSION OF MY LIFE THAT IS WORTH IT I DONT WANT TO DO THIS ALONE I CANT DO THIS ALONE I CANT DO THIS ALONE

It doesn't make sense it doesn't make sense it doesn't make sense I thought it was kindness I thought it was kindness but I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't know what to do I don't know where to go I wish I was dead I wish I was dead there is no version of life that is worth it I want to kill myself I want to kill myself

I have to go to the hospital I have to go to the hospitai

THERE WILL NEVER BE A VERSION OF LIFE THAT IS WORTH ALL THE PAIN IVE BEEN THROUGH AND IT IS CRUEL TO ASK ME TO STAY ALIVE GOD IT IS CRUEL TO ASK ME TO STAY ALIVE IT IS CRUEL IT IS CRUEL IT IS CRUEL TO ASK ME TO LIVE THROUGH THIS I NEVER WANT TO LIVE I DONT WANT TO LIVE AND ITS MY FAULT ITS MY FAULT ITS MY FAULT

[davidjordanphoenix]

'he would not fucking say that' maybe he would if he knew he was starring in his very own porn fic for the sole purpose of delighting some freaks on archive of our own dot org. maybe he'd play it up for the cameras. ever consider that

[davidjordanphoenix]

me: you literally have a disorder. this is symptoms

me: no perhaps my soul is rotten

[davidjordanphoenix]

Speef is real to me. I'm sorry for that.

[davidjordanphoenix]

I can tell if a bug has a troubled past

[davidjordanphoenix]

Actors/entertainers/artists should never have to come out for their work to be valid.

Queer folk are entitled to the choice to come out or remain private. Yes, Hollywood as an industry needs to work on diversity in their casting, no one is arguing that marginalized groups such as queer folk do not get enough work as a result of discrimination.

The answer to this is not requiring the actors themselves to out themselves in a dangerous world where their identity can easily be used as a weapon against them and their line of work. Sexual orientation/gender identity is individual to each person and under no circumstances should ANYONE be forced to come out if they don't want to.

It's a difficult problem in the entertainment industry, yes. Real representation in all forms of media is vital in the war against oppression. But you're picking the wrong fight with the wrong guy. It's not the closeted actor, or even the cishet actor that's the enemy here. It's the industry that weaponizes marginalization and creates a dangerous environment to be openly queer, even in a film or show that represents queer identities.

Be careful not to join the side of oppression in the fight for our freedom.

In Pride month, I think it's important to remind you of this iconic dialogue. You don't have to talk about who you are if you don't want to❤️

[davidjordanphoenix]

hey man it was wonderful to giggle with you tonight…

[davidjordanphoenix]

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two

[davidjordanphoenix]

"Here is my hand he said. Here is my hand that will not harm you." (Louise Glück Epithalamium from "Descending Figure.”)

[davidjordanphoenix]

do not go gentle into that good night

[davidjordanphoenix]

[davidjordanphoenix]

同じ力で相殺し合いながらおもちゃを取り合ってるハスキー見て

[davidjordanphoenix]

still obsessed with ofmd sorry

[davidjordanphoenix]

was going through some of my health records and some doctor put “dresses oddly” next to my psychotic symptoms. hey fuck you too man