deadontime-deadontime

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Its not possible lol

the urge to hold myself super tight so that all the broken parts of me get glued back together

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i get why everyone uses me. i put 100% into people who put 0% into me. why wouldn't you take advantage of that??? you get endless love, support, and devotion without having to give me the same.

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I just want to disappear.

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Mine is 5% linkin park music and 95% suicidal thoughts

My mind is 50% music and 50% suicidal toughts

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"Don't worry, your depression is just a phase."

What kinda phase lasts 20 years and is still going

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Waking up after attempting and realizing that I'm still here scares me more than dying ever does.

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Det är sant

Diary – July 6

I am a disappointment.

To my family. To my friends. To myself.

No matter what I do, it’s never enough.

Never good enough. Never the right thing. Always wrong somehow.

Too much. Or not enough. Always the wrong version of me.

They look at me with that expression. The quiet kind of judgment that doesn’t need words.

Like they’re asking, “Why can’t you just get it together?”

And I wish I knew. I wish I had an answer that didn’t hurt.

The weight of shame is unbearable sometimes.

I carry it like a second skin. Always present, always tight, always suffocating.

Maybe I really am just something to endure, not to love.

Something tolerated in silence.

I don’t know how to unfeel that.

I’m tired. Tired of trying. Tired of hoping. Tired of apologizing for who I am.

There’s no peace when you hate yourself this deeply.

Just the echo of every failure, every rejection, every silent moment that confirmed your worst fear:

That you’re too much.

That you’re never enough.

That you are, always, a disappointment.

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Actually ti his is the most satisfying thing

"$h can't be that traumatizing"

I can still hear my skin ripping

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"$h can't be that traumatizing"

I can still hear my skin ripping

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I know my life will end in suicide. I'm sure of it.

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Depression is being forced to stay alive against your will because if you died "it would upset people"—the same people who never care when you're upset.

They just want you to stay alive despite your suffering because if you don't, you're the selfish one.

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Yeah…

The trauma of being bullied will stay with you forever yet there's a good chance your bullies won't even remember what they did to you.

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dude you okay?

No, evidently not..

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Did I mention I hate being alive

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Mood

“just listen to your body”

my body wants to take all types of drugs and get hit by a train jessica

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All of my blades are being cleaned rn so I have to open a pencil sharpenwr 💔💔 I hate this so much 💔

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I understand this perfectly.. I just wish I was in the US just to buy a gun…

suicide attempts fucking suck they always fail 😞😞 I've been trying all night to overdose and it won't work