waterkangaroo

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Josh Johnson's delivery is so funny 😭

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me, scrolling: hm there are a lot of really good quality posts in a row, this is weird

me, realizing: oooooh I was accidentally in the For You tag! lemme fix that real quick

me, scrolling through garbage: much better

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Murderbot + text posts [7/∞]

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Do you know who the Ai would more than likely have a moral conundrum over. This little fucker:

Because on one hand it is something it would love to smush but on the other hand it would probably respect the fucking abominations obsession of feet enough it wouldnt kill it outright.

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can't think about anything but murderbot rn. song by ben thornewill

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download killing upload pain. instant thousand deaths to brain. motherboard on murder spree. blood computer victory.

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dungeon crawler carl is fun because you go into it thinking it'll be an unserious, fun and gratuitously violent action book, and then you get to the very first boss, and then you think, now hold on. Hold on. And then all of a sudden you're seven books deep and insane and also holding on to the indomitable human spirit for dear life and also a crab has to jack off. like holy shit dude. i've got relentless hope and found family in one hand and the world's weirdest foot fetish in the other

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Donut's monologues

(Big spoilers ahead, fair warning)

We all understand that Donut is a just a Persian cat with an attitude (love her for it, make no mistake) but you know what she is such a master at? Fucking monologues. Carl does some amazing monologues, even villain ones which can be irritating and stupid sometimes but he nails them a lot, but he couldn't rally troops during Faction Wars (or didn't really make too many attempts) or make the audience eat out of his hand during any of Odette's shows. Which makes sense since he's not there to be a charming, talkative dude or be some kind of slick hero type. Carl is the rough surface of hard grinding work while Donut (who also works hard) is the thing that smooths everything over so that shit works.

Charming Bopcas immediately and making it a point to learn everyone's name and history, going out of her way to advocate for the Penis Parade strippers as well as Sledgie and Bomo. All this makes her the perfect companion for the grumpy ass that is Carl because she is so much better at speaking and dealing with people then he is.

The monologues that stick out to me is when Donut went off on Beatrice and when during some of the earliest battles during Faction Wars, the one where the mages got brain wormed. But I'll just yap about the Beatrice one

With Beatrice, she had to get off all the ugliness and the fear that was resting on her shoulders. That deep seated fear of abandonment that became so apparent on the 6th floor, the hurt that she felt for Carl, and, I think, the real disgust at Beatrice's actions towards both of them. I might be a little biased since I fucking hate Beatrice but Donut ripped into that bitch so thoroughly that it gave me tingles of satisfaction. Just the words that were chosen, "I didn't do anything wrong, you were my whole world and maybe I was just another cat to you but you were everything to me. And I was so stupid because I thought that because I loved you that you loved me" Holy fuck! The whole scene, since that up there is just paraphrasing, breaks my fucking heart. Beatrice represents so much in the books and I think the fact that she was going to give Donut away to a place that she KNEW Donut was going to be so miserable at really cemented how much of a horrible person Bea acted like. Donut really was just a fucking object to that woman, a little furry doll that happened to be able to eat and breathe. Oh and the fucking CURSE that Donut throws at Beatrice at the end gives me such life-"I'm glad you escaped because if everyone dies but you and you're all alone that's an even more fitting fate because only THEN will you understand how your actions made me and Carl feel." God I love this cat, even if she is a snob and has weird taste in music (Oasis? Really? Such a curve ball)

Donut, in that one scene, did something that usually feels so hollow most of the time to me. She unloaded so much in just a few pages and it was fucking glorious. Almost as epic as when Loita was murdered.

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Orren: Can you tell me what your relationship with Crawler Carl is?

The AI: I'm Carl's right hand arm....man. I'm Carl's everything. I'm his confidant, his best friend....his silly rabbit.

Orren: His WHAT?

The AI: His silly rabbit.

Orren: His silly rabbit?

The AI: Yes.

Orren: Is that what he calls you?

The AI: No.

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I am going to find Matt Dinniman (author of the dungeon crawler Carl book series) and I'm going to drown him in a pool of the tears i shed reading said book series. Dinniman, I hate you. In conclusion 10/10 would reccomend

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psamathe the decapitated sex doll head is simply one of the best characters ever to grace the page. if she starts to get genuine emotional development im gonna pledge my life to matt dinniman’s service

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the summer hikaru died is a horrible tragedy about being the only gay people in your hometown and how that complicates the experience of realizing your feelings for someone, the sense of isolation and otherness you feel growing up and knowing that youre different. it's also the series where a teenage boy falls off a cliff and dies because he stopped to look at a tree shaped like a sexy lady. im not kidding btw that's literally how original hikaru died. that's the inciting incident of this whole series. he went AWOOGA and ate shit so bad he died in the forest and that's how he got replaced by an eldritch entity. anyway everybody should watch the anime the first ep is out now

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@drdmaxwell ‘s swap au of DCC

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How could you even consider saying no to that face lol

Bites for you. Bites for considering denying Princess Donut.

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Ralph's Adventures at LitRPG Con 🐹

Ralph had a grand ol' time meeting all the Carls at LitRPG Con! The con was a smashing success! ft. a bonus Barmaid