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oh my god your account is what i have needed my whole life and never knew i did Thanks for existing ily

TY!! I’m glad you enjoy it. 

Sorry I took such a long hiatus. I had to move back into my parents’ house, and then I was Dealing with some things as a result of that. I’m still Dealing, but I hope to get back with the program on this little project. It’s fun and I always enjoy being salty about makeup.

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And for my dramatic return, I bring you... CONTROVERSY!!

By which I mean this Too Faced Gingerbread “”””” Extra Spicy””””” pallette.  Everybody is dunking on this pallette to a ridiculous extreme. People acting like this is the most boring palette ever released when Tarte as a brand exists will never not be funny to me.  That said, I can see why they feel that way; it’s definitely pulling from the same playbook as last year’s pallette. I’m not mad at it, though. It hasn’t got any exact duplication, and it has a much warmer and orangier vibe. I’m a basic bitch, so I like it.

But seriously tho, I think the issue here was the marketing approach. If they hadn’t called it extra spicy, but had named it after some other christmas cookie it would have probably done fine. Like seriously. if they had named it the pizelle pallette, people would have lost their shit. 

Alternatively, if they had released this for, like, christmas 2021, and had some other cookie-tin pallettes or whatever in between, I think it would have been much better recieved.

I actually bought this one because I am a basic bitch, but also because I collect the too faced tin pallettes, so I’ve included some first impressions/ thoughts about it under the cut for people who are interested. If you want to know some more informed opinions later on, feel free to hit me up. Also, the shade names are down there, too.

I bought the pallete like 9 hours ago, and have done one (1) look with it, so bear that in mind. Here are my down and dirty quick thoughts:

-the mattes are the same Extremely Smooth formula that you find in the OG (Original Gingerbread, ha!) and the just peachy mattes pallettes. They are very finely milled and blendable. 10/10 -The shades Spicy Mami and Candy Queen are a high-glitter, kind of scratchy formula. It’s not my favorite, but it’s better than that weird clumpy and flaky formula that was in the OG. -Midnight snack (the teal) will read as a black shadow in basically every circumstance. It’s not a Matte With Glitter, but it is shimmer with a black base. It’s way deeper IRL than it looks in the photos. Less scratchy-feeling than Spicy Mami/Candy Queen. -The rest of the shimmers are an Extremely Smooth (buttery, to use that term) high-impact metallic. -THERE ARE NO DUPLICATE SHADOWS IN THIS PALLETTE WHEN COMPARED TO THE OG. I know, I was suspicious of it, too. All the colors are different either in value, undertone, or formula.  There are some quite similar shades, but they are pallettes on the same theme, so like, that makes sense.

tl;dr: quality-wise, it’s very consistent with the OG. If you liked those formulas you will enjoy this. It’s also a very good companion to that pallette, and will give it a little more daytime versatility. The OG is very vampy, so the lighter mattes in this give you a little more utility when Deepest Fall is not the vibe you want to present. That said, it is very similar, so if you have the OG and this color scheme puts you to sleep, or if your transmission just died and u gotta buy a car instead, for instance, you don’t strictly need this one. Also if you are blessed with an abundance of melanin, you may want to swatch it and make sure it won’t be ashy on you, since it leans lighter.

Extra Spicy Original Shades: Vanilla Wafer, Cookie Cutter, Soft & Sweet, For the Graham, In a Pinch,  Drizzle it

Lick the Spoon, Spicy Mami, Extra Spicy, Half-Baked, Butterscotch, Cookie Call

Plenty of Dough, Candy Queen, Gingerbread Glam, Hot Tamale, Cinna-moan, Midnight Snack

Extra Spicy My Version: Vanilla Wafer, Cookie Cutter, In A Pinch, Half-Baked, Hot Tamale, Cinna-Moan

Lick the Spoon, Soft & Sweet, For the Graham, Candy Queen,  Gingerbread Glam, Cookie Call

Plenty of Dough, Drizzle It, Butterscotch, Extra Spicy, Spicy Mami, Midnight Snack

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LORAC MegaPro 3 -- sometime in the last 3 years.

Hi folks,  Sorry for the dry spell in terms of posts. I am moving, and it has kind of been taking up all my time. Hopefully, I will get back to more regular posts after I am finished.

Anyway, here is the LORAC MegaPro 3 palette. If you like beige, this is the palette for you.

The shades are under the cut. 

pink cream, mist, dusty mauve, vintage, violet gray, hickory, eggplant, dk navy

crepe, toffee, tan, pecan, maple, walnut, bark, jet black,

snow, glacier, tulle, pink bronze, rose quartz, pomegranate, dk. roast, deep fog

bellini, cava, cider, rust, olive, brown sugar, sequoia, licorice 

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Lorac MegaPro 2--(haha idk)

It’s ya girl, back again with another MegaPro; this time it’s the MegaPro 2. Less wild about this one than the MegaPro 1, but I ‘m kind of digging the Orange/Purple combo. I’m still maintaining the 2 mattes, 2 shimmers format in this one, too. 

Shade list below the cut

porcelain, custard, melon, tawny, burlap, tangerine, saddle, cabernet lavender, bisque, sorbet, goji, purple, ash, forest, black

sugar, moonlight, seashell, peony, gold leaf, cinnamon, penny, dark sienna prosecco, chiffon, soft plum, sandstone, olivine, gunmetal, blue quartz, black ivy

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Lorac MegaPro 1-- (who knows)

Happy New Year’s Eve, y’all.

Here is the Lorac MegaPro palette. The OG. I like this palette as-is, and I also like my version of it. Like when I rearanged the Megapro 4, I retained the “Two rows of matte, two rows of shimmer” format.

shade list under the cut.

cream, fawn, khaki, camel, sepia, stone, brown, espresso white, lilac, orchid, dusty plum, wisteria, grey, mulberry, black

opal, sand, cashmere, apricot, sienna, copper, maroon, granite vanilla, blush, dusty rose, smoky topaz, merlot, deep teal, caviar, indigo

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Dose of Color Hidden Treasure Palette–Fall 2017

This palette has the literal most infuriating packaging of all time. I hate it, and I still hate mine, but like, at least it’s compact. 

I kind of rage quit, because I couldn’t get the pans to line up evenly, or in a 100% satisfying color placement. ain’t nobody got time for that, tbh, and aint nobody got time for this dumb pallette that takes up 2x as much room as it should.

shade list under the cut

pearl, diamond, map gemstone, locket, ruby coin, crown, key, onyx

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Too Faced Semi Sweet Chocolate Bar palette-- (lmao who even remembers when this was released. A while ago)

Here is another Old Standby, which I sure don’t care enough about to google release info .

I really have some Conceptual Issues with the large pans in the chocolate bar palettes (aside from the fact that they’re irritating to photoshop). It always seems like the colors they make rectangular are disproportionately useful to people with fair skin. Which. Not cool, too faced. Not Cool.

Anyway, I like this palette. Shade lists under the cut.

Also, thanks to @ysoria, who reached out to me about my carriage return woes. It’s [shift+enter] for single space, y’all.

here’s some legit proof a dank haiku that I wrote totally for you. 

Coconut Creme, Pink Sugar, Peanut Butter, Truffled, Frosting

Butter Pecan, Nougat, Mousse, Blueberry Swirl, Puddin’

Caramel, Bon Bon, Rum Raisin, Cocoa Chili, Hot Fudge, Licorice

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Viseart Sultry Muse palette --- IDEK when this released.

Normally Viseart palettes are arranged impeccably, since they are a pro brand for pros. This one, though, was a little bit head-scratchy.

shade list under the cut

Yves,    Kifu,    Ceska,    Melonie       

Chloe,  Gitte,   Camille,  Chantille

Tym,    Cindi,   Diana,     Jori

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crystalandjustin replied to your photo “Too Faced Clover Palette—>Fall 2017 This palette is inspired by the...”

Are these two different palettes????? �������� there really pretty

I’m glad you like them. These are both the Too Faced Clover palette, which released for sale a couple weeks ago. The top image is the actual palette, but in the bottom image I’ve rearranged the placement of the shadows so that they move from light to dark across the palette. I also removed the bright yellow, replacing it with a darker green, but that was the only actual “change” I made beyond shuffling the color placement.

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Too Faced Clover Palette--->Fall 2017

This palette is inspired by the founders of Too Faced’s dog, Clover. It’s limited edition, and word on the street is that a percentage of proceeds are going to an animal rescue charity. It’s way brighter than Too Faced’s usual, so I’m vaguely intrigued. It’s also gluten free, apparently. Do people with Celiac disease have to worry about topical contact with gluten, or is Too Faced just hopping on a trend with this?

I must admit, I feel personally victimized by the shade “Good Boy,” which is that Bright-Ass Yellow. It doesn’t go with anything else in the palette, and it throws off the color scheme,IMHO. Now I willingly own up to the fact that I am not a fan of yellow in most contexts, but I try to give it fair treatment in spite of this, as you can see in my treatment of past palettes. BUT THIS YELLOW DOES NOT GO, Damnit. So, for place-holding purposes, I replaced it with “Bless Her Heart” out of the Sweet Peach palette. What I would actually rather have, though, is a dark matte olive green.  This is not something I like to do, because I don’t find it to be in the spirit of the challenge, but I just truly feel that this particular yellow doesn’t work.  My apologies. Imagine the yellow where I put Bless Her Heart, if you prefer. I know sume people are totally here for That Yellow In Particular.

Also I’m kind of mad that I was forced to read the words “fur baby” and “Daddies <3 Me” with my own two eyes.

shade list under the cut.

Puppy Eyes,Chihuahua, Love is Love, Paw Print, TF Mascot, Spoiled,

I Ruff You, Lucky Clover, Wet Kisses, Cuddle Buddy, Daddies <3 Me, Best Friends

Cuteness Overload, Good Boy/BHH, Fur Baby, Ruh Roh, #savethemall, Woof

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Tarte Magic Star Collector’s Set— Holiday 2017

This is Tarte’s Ulta holiday palette. It has weird triangular flaps that I removed for formatting purposes. They had, like, blushes and lip products in them. Gotta say, as far as shade range is concerned, this set is kicking the Sephora set’s Behind. It has a nice selection of colors, so it seems like a good buy (provided the quality is good; I, as usual, haven’t actually seen it).

I do wonder why they named that metallic sage color “broach” (the verb) instead of “brooch” (the noun). Given the theme of Vaguely Islamic Orientalism their holiday stuff has this year, the noun would make more sense.

Shade list under the cut, per uszh.

Shades, L—>R

Pendant, Wander, Treasured, Palatial, Festival

Magical, Paradise, Euphoria, Gems, Starry

Sweets, Majestic, Joyous, Fringe, Genie

Getaway, Indulgence, Bangle, Goblet, Lavish

Broach, Desert, Tassel, Antique, Sublime

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Anastasia Beverly Hills Subculture Palette—Summer 2017

I can’t fix the formula for you, but I can fix the layout.

In the interest of full disclosure: I do not own this palette (as usual). I have seen many reviews, and all of them indicate that this palette is…finicky. It’s really pretty, though, so that’s a shame.

shade list under the cut.

Shade list, L—>R

Cube, Electric, Edge, New Wave, Adorn, Fudge, All Star

Dawn, Roxy, Mercury, Destiny, Untamed, Axis, Rowdy

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Natasha Denona Sunset Palette---Summer 2017

Here is one of the most raved-about, most expensive eyeshadow palettes ever. Pls excuse the bad image quality; I def. screenshotted it from a video by Tati, because I couldn’t find one that wasn’t at a weird angle.

I don’t have a whole lot to say about this. Natasha Denona’s palettes are never laid out sensibly. I feel like for the amount people pay for them, she could afford to arrange them in a useful way, but I also can’t afford them, so...

As usual, the shade list is under the cut. I’m still messing about with formatting on this, so my apologies if it looks janky or whatever.

Shade list, L/R--> T/B

Ice Gold, Sundazed, Sol, Morgana, Terra 

Bermuda, Aubade, Mandarine, Sinai, Vulcano 

Atmosphere, Bronzage ,Horizon, Panjin, Igneous

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Too Faced Sweet Peach Palette--- Too many release dates

Since I just slam-dunked that Tarte Holiday palette without actually doing anything besides rotating all the pans 45 degrees, I figured I should do some actual analysis. So, here for your viewing pleasure is one of my favorite palettes ever. I’m pretty sure everyone and their grandma got this when they made it permanent, so I do own it. 

It gets a lot of hate for being ‘’’’’’’’not peach enough,’’’’’’’’’ but that’s at least partially the fault of the shade layout. It’s pretty clearly half peach when you arrange it sensibly. My only wish is that they had gotten rid of either Talk Derby To Me or Tempting, because lbr, they look exactly the same, and given us another color. Maybe a matte olive green? 

Also, Luscious is the best rose gold, so if anyone could point me at an affordable dupe for when I inevitably finish it 8 months before the rest of the palette, I will be forever in your debt. Or @ too faced if you would sell that in a single, I’d buy the hell out of it.

anyway, the improved shade range is under the cut.

going in rows, L--->R

White Peach, Nectar, Peaches N’ Cream, Just Peachy, Candied Peach, Georgia, Luscious, Bellini, Cobbler, Bless Her Heart, Caramelized, Peach Pit, Puree, Summer Yum, Delectable, Charmed I’m Sure, Talk Derby To Me, Tempting

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Tarte Treasure Box Collector’s Set---(Holiday 2017)

I was honestly more annoyed by the packaging on this one than the shade placement, because I think that the dumb angled layout was a red herring to distract us from the fact that this palette is 2/3 beige. I didn’t even rearrange any colors, because I was so distracted by how beige it was, and I was sure I would get mixed up about which ones went where. Y’know. Since they’re all beige pretty much.

(To be fair, there is a little bit of tonal variation between the beiges, but I still feel it’s a little exessive when they could probably have condensed the first column into, like, 3 pale af beiges, and then expanded the midtones. But what do I know.)

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Too Faced Pretty Little Planner --- Holiday 2017 (Ulta exclusive)

I actually own this palette, for once. It didn’t actually need that much fixing, all things considered. I really only even made this post because, while reviewing isn’t really my thing, I thought I could give a brief overview of the kit, and help some people who might be on the fence make a purchasing decision.

My main thing I want people to know is that the notebook cover that comes with this kit is a weird size, and doesn’t fit the majority of commercially available planners. More details under the cut.

Also if you want more specific info about the shadow palette, hmu. I am happy to answer questions, since I own this one.

The eyeshadow palette is fine, and the pigmentation is good. The mattes are blendable, and the shimmers are pretty smooth. Over all, if the color range appeals to you, the eyeshadow probably won’t disappoint. It’s a good quality basic palette, with enough interesting shades that you probably won’t be bored by it unless you have oodles of eyeshadow. You also will get a sample of the Better Than Sex mascara, which is exactly what it says on the tin. It’s fine. It’s all fine, and if you’re here for the makeup you’ll be good.

The other main feature of this kit, though, is the planner. You get a paperback, monthly view calendar, a page of stickers, and a really cute cover. It’s sturdy, and it has a pocket, a little mirror, and a pen loop. All in all, it’s the sort of thing that would entice someone who was on the fence about the eye pallette to purchase the kit anyway. So if that is you, and you rock with a monthly calendar, then you’re golden. Buy it and have fun.

Most people don’t though. A lot of people might look at this set with the intention to buy it and replace the calendar with a more robust agenda, or maybe put their school-issued one into this cover. I just want to warn you that it will be tricky to do. The internal dimensions of the book cover are  4.75″X 7.25″. Which. isn’t a size planner that anyone actually makes. Some companies make a 4″X6″, but they’re hard to find, and a lot of them are spiral-bound. I’m not sure if that will play nicely with the cover. If you like the eye palette, and you can find a planner that also fits the cover, it’s probably worth it to buy the kit anyway. Just, be forewarned that it may be hard to find a replacement planner that fits both this cover and your scheduling needs.

I’m going to try this one by Shinola. I will let you know if it fits.

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Anastasia Beverly Hills---Modern Renaissaince palette (Fall 2016)

I’m not mad at the original layout, but I do think this is an improvement.  I am still not pleased with the position of Warm Taupe and Buon Fresco, but I didn’t like it when I had them switched, either. Idk bro, idk.

You know, for being The Warm-toned Palette that started the trend, this actually has quite a few cool-toned reds in it.

going in columns from left to right, the new shade list is as follows:

Tempera                                                  

Vermeer                                                                       

Primavera                                                                                                                

Buon Fresco                                                                                                            

Golden Ochre                                                                                                        

Warm Taupe                                                                                                            

Burnt Orange                                                                                                          

Love Letter                                                                                                              

Raw Sienna                                                                                                           

Venitian Red                                                                                                            

Realgar                                                                                                                  

Red Ochre                                                                                                              

Antique Bronze                                                                                                      

Cyprus Umber