devlsbackbone

[devlsbackbone]

"so you have imposter syndrome?" yes, that was a read. but he means it. the sun catches on elijah's hair and he's reminded how she's far more divine than he could ever beg to be. if there was one thing he could do, he wanted to watch her heal. "because the fact that you wanted this doesn't mean that you deserved all the worst parts of being someone. you're one of the most talented bassists of the last century, dove. you should at least get a house of gold for that, not glass."

jude leans his shoulder against elijah's with another smile. "so what do you want next? keep touring? settle down? solve world hunger? i really think you could do it, you know?"

"oh?" her lips form a perfect circle as she mulls over the question he is asking her. did she want to be a rockstar? well, no. not particularly. but she wanted to be something. she wanted to be more than what she always was. so she met his stare. matching his intensity as it seems the only thing she could do with someone so beautiful giving her this much attention.

"well," she shrugs her shoulders and pouts slightly. "i wanted to be someone. and music has always meant so much to me? i wanted to play it forever? i wanted my life to MEAN something? so yeah? yeah i guess i did want it? but there are cons to everything, and the cons can outweigh the pros. you know what they say. glass houses."

[devlsbackbone]

"i didn't ask, thanks." she smacks his arm, probably harder than she should. but then again he could take it? she wondered for a moment just how long it took him to get dressed in the morning, in between all the posing for the mirrors, and she giggled to herself.

at what he said about love, though? she just cants her head and pouts without even meaning to. "i. i'm really sorry, theon." gretchen takes another sip of her beer."but how do you get used to being lonely? it's--- after you've had someone you thought you'd share your life with. are you really okay with being alone or are you just scared that no one is going to love you again?" she might see a little too much of herself in that second option.

"i can tell." he smirks taking a drink from his beer. everything she said was another clue into who she was. and what she might be doing on this tour. she was far too sweet for this life. this band. and apollo inviting her? who would protect her? not apollo. never apollo.

"real love exists," he would never stand there and say it doesn't. "but i've had my fair share of wanting. i'd like to think i'm content without that in my life anymore. i'll just honor what i had." he gave a small shrug. what he's saying he truly believes, and maybe that's the saddest part.

[devlsbackbone]

she needed to catch up with him for this conversation. she stole another ipa from his six pack and drained her current can, her cheeks tinted pink as she noticed his eyes on her. it was embarrassing how many butterflies soared in her stomach when he smiled at her. he was too handsome. it wasn’t fair. “i’m not good at standing up for myself.”

oh. he had it bad, didn’t he? “love isn’t about needing someone? it’s just as much about wanting?” but she also remembered all the press about his fiancé, fiona, and she couldn’t help but reach out for his arm. “it doesn’t have to be fake love. there’s nothing wrong with it being real love, theon?”

she's cute. he finishes his beer and gives her a once over. with a toned body like that–not that he's objectifying her–she had to spend time in the gym. he was looking for a gym buddy. "you're not a tremendous bitch. and nomi is. so that's a start."

he gives her a soft smile, something not many people get from him. she always did read him fairly well, probably because she was hiding her obsession with the band. he's met johnny, the boy told him his girlfriend was a fan. he knew her secrets. "i don't need naomi. and i don't want naomi. i'm not apollo deo, i don't need fake love to feel like a full person."

[devlsbackbone]

"is that what you want to do?" jude cocks his head, he had a bad habit of peering directly into one's soul when they spoke. but he really wanted to know. elijah seemed to second-guess herself so often, he wanted her to have a chance to actually say what SHE wanted, not apollo or theon.

"did you always dream of being a rockstar?"

she pulls her knees up close to her chest and laughs a bit. she didn't find humor in the situation, but all of this talk about the future did make her uncomfortable. "oh? you think so? i don't really know." she always found herself thinking that jude was perfect, and well ... she wasn't.

"i think i made it pretty far? maybe i'll stop while i'm ahead."

[devlsbackbone]

"do you ever think you were made for more?" (eli + jude)

"i," the angel hesitates for a moment. wouldn't that be... nice? to not know exactly what you were made for from the very moment you started existing? did humans know how lucky they were? "i, i think i've always known what i was made for. but what about you. dove?" he hoped she knew she was made for more.

"i think you could do anything."

[devlsbackbone]

"oh." she wasn't expecting that from the guitarist, and part of her couldn't help but second guess it. did he really mean it? sometimes it felt like she was back in high school with naomi as the mean queen bee and theon as the hot jock who did her bidding. "what makes me better?"

she was proud that she hadn't made it obvious that she was a tantrum stan, but deep down, that was all she was. gretchen had been practically studying theon for years. "because you are close to her? you're always watching her and apollo."

he just huffs out a little noise and smirks. she wasn't lily, that was for sure. she was very much not lily mayflower. and that's what made her interesting. but a piece of him hated her mention of naomi. no one should WANT to be naomi. and no one should know about HIS relationship with naomi. "i think you're better than both of them, actually. not to be a cunt to the ladies."

so he just takes a drink from his can and shrugs. "why is it you always assume i'm close to naomi? what if i told you i don't give a shit about her?"

[devlsbackbone]

she really didn't know if she should be insulted or complimented, the way that theon talked about her. she knew she wasn't hot. gretchen was the girl next door with sweet doe eyes, but theon loved to tease her... "i'm not lily mayflower, theo, and i'm also not naomi may bailey? i don't do that."

she was too soft and sweet. she always would be, and theon--- he liked drama, clearly. it didn't mean that he liked her. "you just want to watch me crash and burn so you can laugh with naomi when my head is in the toilet later."

he knew what he was doing. waving johnny in front of her face like that. it was rude. johnny was a stupid bitch. wasn't he? theon loves to play games and she was the newest game. he thought she'd be fun. "i'm sure he did? he'd be stupid not to? but then again, look at you? someone like you could wipe the floor with him?"

and he meant it. he meant it when he said he cared about her. but then again, theon was always hard to read. "i think you should put on something slutty and take a get into a bar fight to make some noise, personally."

[devlsbackbone]

brown eyes narrow at the rockstar in irritation. she's tempted to hit him, but she does stop herself, and grabs the ipa from his grasp instead. theon was such a fucking asshole. ( she can't believe she wasted so many nights picturing him instead of her ex-fiance. ) "excuse me? johnny said he loved me first." it was true, but gretchen had started to question even that after everything happened.

"so it's less embarrassing to be jaded and lonely?"

@devlsbackbone "i do not fall in love with everyone that's nice to me!" (gretchen + theon)

"we both know that's not true." he mutters offhandedly as he cracks open the craft beer they were gifted in colorado. she was soft, look at her? he knew her type. he almost married her type. "what about johnny? now that's just embarrassing."

[devlsbackbone]

❛  maybe we're supposed to remain a case of 'right person, wrong time' forever.  ❜ (eli jude)

he isn't expecting those words past elijah's lips as he helps tuck her into her bunk after a night out. that doesn't mean he disagrees with her. as he turns his back to give her some privacy to turn into the oversized tshirt he remembered was her favorite, jude dips his head. "maybe we are, dove. but that's because you deserve more than i could ever give you."

jude meets her eyes once he hears her settle down. she was so perfectly human. she felt everything. she looked after everyone but herself. she deserved someone who could feel as deeply as she did. the angel wished that he could. "but i'm not going to leave you until you've found the person who does. i promise you."

[devlsbackbone]

she simply blinks at him again and answers his joke with silence. he really was annoyingly cute. but honestly? she was a little proud that the drummer boy might be imagining her in his little fantasies. magda lourdes and elijah vega were right there? "whatever gets you off, babes?"

at his question, she can't help but think about how much shit trent had put her through last night because she didn't fit the dress he bought her. but... he did buy her the dress. "he's getting me a birkin for my birthday," she says with a flip of her hair. "he just expects the best."

"that's not fair? infants are better behaved." he points his fingers at her with a small smirk. GOD. she was pretty, wasn't she? just the most pretty girl he's ever seen. "i don't know what you mean? my fantasization has nothing to do with you? unless you'd like it to?" and he meant that. she was his media rep, after all. and this was his big break? he should be less of a flirt, but he can't help it.

"does your boyfriend treat you well?"

[devlsbackbone]

🐝  *  ―  𝑷𝑰𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮 / 𝒀𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  i can't stop thinking about you even when i try.  ❜ ❛  every time i see you, it's like my heart skips a beat.  ❜ ❛  i never realized how much i needed you until you weren't there.  ❜ ❛  do you ever feel like there's something missing ... like a piece of your heart is somewhere else?  ❜ ❛  i wish i had the courage to tell you how i feel.  ❜ ❛  if only you knew how much you truly mean to me.  ❜ ❛  do you ever wonder what it would be like if things were different between us?  ❜ ❛  sometimes i wonder if you ever think about me the way i think about you.  ❜ ❛  i had a lot of dreams about you recently.  ❜ ❛  somehow, you're always on my mind.  ❜ ❛  i think i've been in love with you since the day we met - scratch that, i know i've been in love with you since the day we met.  ❜ ❛  my biggest wish is to hold you close and never let you go.  ❜ ❛  all my life i've felt like a part of me was missing, but with you i've finally found it.  ❜ ❛  you deserve better than who i am right now, but i'm gonna keep trying to become someone you do deserve.  ❜ ❛  every time you smile at me, i get this flutter in my chest.  ❜ ❛  do you think i'll ever be worthy of your love?  ❜ ❛  i want to be the person to make you happy. the one person you can always come to with whatever you need.  ❜ ❛  will we ever get another chance together?  ❜ ❛  you were the best thing that's ever happened to me.  ❜ ❛  my biggest regret is ever letting you go.  ❜ ❛  i'm still in love with you ... and i honestly never stopped.  ❜ ❛  when i wake up in the morning, you're the first person i want to see.  ❜ ❛  every time i wake up, i check if you wrote me another message.  ❜ ❛  i wish i could be as important to you as you are to me.  ❜ ❛  it hurts when you don't talk to me like you used to.  ❜ ❛  i miss everything about you, your touch, your laugh, your smile. i wish i could have that back.  ❜ ❛  i want to fall asleep wrapped in your arms.  ❜ ❛  hold me closer; i always feel safer when you're with me.  ❜ ❛  there's so much i wish i was able to tell you.  ❜ ❛  i know things aren't easy right now, but i want to remain a fixture in your life. after all, you're one in mine.  ❜ ❛  i miss the way you always made me smile.  ❜ ❛  you're the reason i keep holding on.  ❜ ❛  maybe we're supposed so to remain a case of 'right person, wrong time' forever.  ❜ ❛  if only you knew how i feel about you.  ❜ ❛  i'm yearning to hold your hand in mine.  ❜ ❛  i think you are the one for me, and i hope one day i'll be the one for you, too.  ❜ ❛  do you think i'll ever become more than a friend to you?  ❜ ❛  my heart belongs to you, always and forever.  ❜ ❛  my first instinct is to protect you, no matter the cost.  ❜ ❛  i've been thinking about us a lot lately.  ❜

[devlsbackbone]

blaire blinks, her expression sickened. "you're an infant." he wasn't really, but the social media manager refused to see him as anything but. she wasn't going to admit that the skater boy was hot. he made her work harder, which she really didn't need when apollo deo existed. "and i assume that's why your liked porn on twitter seem to feature a lot of red hair? i'm flattered, but i do have a boyfriend."

@devilsympcthy “are you watching me?” ( blaire to jamie c: )

"is that for problem for you, pretty girl?" jamie mused happily staring down the redhead. he loved redheads, not like ... a fetish. but he just thought she was beautiful. he always thought she was beautiful. but not when she was bitching at him about his social media presence. he only liked porn on twitter sometimes. "because i think i'd like to watch you forever, actually."

[devlsbackbone]

darker vibes

❛ i would let you rip me apart if it meant loving you. ❜

❛ this fear you feel? it won’t last. ❜

❛ you are my salvation. ❜

❛ i revolt you, don’t i? ❜

❛ get the hell away from me. ❜

❛ i want to sink my teeth into every inch of you. ❜

❛ i’ll be your dirty little secret, if that’s what you’re into. ❜

❛ worship me. until i tell you to stop. ❜

❛ don’t you know how sick with love i am for you? ❜

❛ fucking hit me already. ❜

❛ i would burn the world for you. ❜

❛ i don’t want to be good, no matter how hard you wish it. ❜

❛ i don’t know how you’ve bewitched me, but it needs to stop. ❜

❛ fix me. ❜

❛ they die for love, you kill for it. ❜

❛ you are mine, whether you agree or not. ❜

❛ do you like it when i bleed for you? ❜

❛ i will keep hurting. i will keep killing. anything to protect you. ❜

❛ i’m starved for you, morning and night. ❜

❛ now i get to ravish you. ❜

❛ i am your god and your executioner. ❜

❛ you are doing so well, my pet. ❜

❛ you’re my sweetest poison. ❜

❛ let’s do something about that mouth of yours. ❜

❛ your fascination with me will be your death. ❜

❛ you’re the monster that’s enticed me into your bed. ❜

❛ all you can say are pretty lies. ❜

❛ the fucked up thing is that it isn’t enough to just love you. ❜

❛ you’ve broken me. all i can think about is you. ❜

❛ you’ll beg for more. ❜

❛ an eternity with you would never satisfy me. ❜

❛ i would gladly let you drag me to hell. ❜

❛ everything i’ve done.. every horrible atrocity, it’s been for you. ❜

❛ you’re a fucking nightmare. kiss me. ❜

❛ feel grateful that i allow you to touch me. ❜

❛ every time your lips touch my skin, you burn me from the inside out. ❜

❛ there’s no black or white, only gray. ❜

❛ no one touches what’s mine. ❜

❛ make me indifferent, make me horrible. ❜

❛ i could never be the one to love you. i can only be the one that kills you. ❜

❛ your lips are poison, your laugh a curse. ❜

[devlsbackbone]

SENTENCE STARTERS FROM PALAYE ROYALE’S ALBUM FEVER DREAM:

(  i will update as songs / the album is released  )

tw for drug abuse mention, abuse mention, suicidal thoughts

PUNCHING BAG:

“go on, make my day.”

“go get high on my mistakes.”

“give me more complaints.”

“you’re real i’m just a fake.”

“i’m so glad i can be your punching bag.”

“bought me and they sold me.”

“no i’m all used up.”

“i can do whatever you want.”

“go ahead and slap me, if it makes you happy.”

“use and abuse me till i’m gone.”

“if you want me, come and take me.”

“because i love the way you hate me.”

“you bled me dry.”

“my soul has died.”

“you built me up to fall.”

“someone save me because i feel like i’m fucking dying.”

NO LOVE IN LA:

“lookin’ at her nose but the shit don’t blow right.”

“you can change your face but the pain won’t go away.”

“addicted to the fame, but the fame is momentarily reality.”

“the creeps are crawling up to the doorways.”

“they’re dying to find out what’s inside.”

“the creepy are always posting their photos to show off what they’re lacking inside.”

“there is no such thing as love in la.”

“plastic people don’t got nothin to say.”

“they’re judging me.”

“i’m judging you.”

“we ain’t got nothing else to do.”

“livin on melrose, in motel rooms.”

“up all night drinkin’.”

“and the demon’s comin till i see shit.”

“on a private jet but you can’t afford your rent.”

“gettin high with fake friends cuz that’s all you got.”

“i’m late for my own premiere.”

“maybe i should leave, my dear.”

“i don’t feel a thing out here.”

“it seems to me that the demons of the city want to keep me here.”

PARANOID:

“all the things that i once feared.”

“all the friends i thought i knew.”

“all the people i outgrew.”

“all the nights i wasted tears.”

“all the disappearing years.”

“for a while i was in denial.”

“my mother’s least favorite child.”

“all these fucking voices in my head.”

“tell me i’m not good enough for them.”

“they just leave me paranoid.”

“got me feelin insecure again.”

“every stupid word i said.”

“every night i toss and turn.“

“am i ever gonna learn?”

“everyone should quiet down.”

“i just wanna tune you out.”

“i can’t escape my thoughts, are they real or dreams?”

“sirens in my head.”

“paranoia screams.”

“i don’t feel alone.”

“are they watching me?”

“are you watching me?”

“i don’t know if i can survive.”

[devlsbackbone]

𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑬𝑵𝑶𝑹𝑴𝑰𝑻𝒀 𝑶𝑭 𝑴𝒀 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑰𝑹𝑬 .    (   a  series  of  nsfw  prompts ,  separated  by  quotes   &   acts .   ‘ my ’  muse  belongs  to  the  one  who  posted  the  meme .  send   “ + REVERSE ”   to  reverse  the  prompts  )

       →  WORDS .

❛  i’m  sorry ,  you  don’t  enjoy  being  teased ? .  ❜ ❛  you  know  what  i’m  waiting  for .  ❜ ❛  keep  your  hands  where  they  are .  ❜ ❛  i want you to ride  [ me / my fingers ] .  ❜ ❛  you  make  the  prettiest  sounds .  ❜ ❛  say  please .  ❜ ❛  i  want  to  make  this  last .  ❜ ❛  look  at  me .  ❜ ❛  i’m  yours ,  only  yours -  ❜ ❛  yeah ,  just like that -  ❜ ❛  i’ve  barely  even  started .  ❜ ❛  i  need  you .  ❜ ❛  god ,  shut  up  and  fuck  me  already !  ❜ ❛  god ,  yes ,  [ name ] ,  don’t  stop .  ❜ ❛  you  have  no  idea  how  long  i’ve  wanted  to  do  this .  ❜ ❛  who  gets  to  touch  you  like  this ?  ❜ ❛  come  for  me .  ❜ ❛  ah ,  ah -  don’t  touch .  ❜ ❛  brace  your  hands  on  the  wall .  ❜ ❛  could  you  come  like  this ?  ❜ ❛  please ,  let  me  come -  ❜ ❛  god ,  you’re  beautiful -  ❜ ❛  i’ve  been  waiting  for  this  all  night .  ❜ ❛  you’re  such  a  tease .  ❜ ❛  take  these  off .  ❜ ❛  i  want  to  feel  your  [ mouth / fingers ] .  ❜ ❛  do  you  have  any  idea  how  good  you  taste ?  ❜ ❛  tell  me  what  you  want .  ❜ ❛  we  shouldn’t -  ah ,  we shouldn’t be doing this .  ❜ ❛  faster ,  [ name ] ,  i  need  more .  ❜ ❛  is  this  good ?  ❜ ❛  keep  your  eyes  open .  ❜ ❛  i  can’t  wait  to  find  out  what  else  you  can  do .  ❜ ❛  you  don’t  have  to  be  so  gentle .  ❜ ❛  i  want  to  hear  you  beg .  ❜ ❛  can  i  take  this  off ?  ❜ ❛  please ,  please ,  please -  ❜ ❛  you’re  doing  so  well  for  me .  ❜ ❛  please  touch  me .  ❜ ❛  keep  reading ,  i  want  to  see  how  long  you  last .  ❜ ❛  i’ll  buy  you  another  one .  ❜ ❛  say  my  name .  louder .  ❜ ❛  i  can’t  wait  any  longer .  ❜ ❛  you  feel  so  good .  ❜ ❛  you’re  going  to  leave  a  mark -  ❜ ❛  touch  yourself  for  me .  ❜ ❛  do  you  deserve  it ?   ❜ ❛  did  i  say  you  could  come ?  ❜ ❛  i’m  so  close -  ❜ ❛  they’re  going  to  catch  us -  ❜ ❛  i  want  you  right  here .  ❜ ❛  we  have  to  be  quiet .  ❜

         →  ACTIONS .

❛  pin .   to  restrain  my  muse’s  hands  during  intimacy . ❛  mirror .   to  have  sex  with  my  muse  in  front  of  a  mirror . ❛  deny .   to  deny  my  muse  an  orgasm . ❛  distance .   to  have  [ phone / video ]  sex  with  my  muse . ❛  playlist .   to  have  sex  with  my  muse  while  music  is  playing . ❛  paw .   to  fondle  my  muse’s   [ chest  /  ass ] . ❛  wall .   to  pin  my  muse  against  a  wall . ❛  table .   to  hoist  my  muse  onto  a  [ table  /  counter ] . ❛  clothed .   to  make  my  muse  come  while  fully  dressed . ❛  finger .   to  finger  my  muse . ❛  oral .   to  give  my  muse  oral . ❛  fervent .   to  have  sex  with  my  muse  after  a  fight . ❛  distraction .   to  rile  my  muse  up  during  a  film . ❛  mark .   to  leave  marks  on  my  muse  [  optional :  specify where  ] . ❛  tie .   to  use  restraints  on  my  muse  during  intimacy . ❛  throat .   to  choke  my  muse  during  intimacy . ❛  sparring .   for  sparring  to  turn  into  sex . ❛  toys .   to  use  toys  [ vibrator / strap / otherwise ]  on  my  muse . ❛  imagery .   to  send  my  muse  a  risque  photo . ❛  drag .   to  pull  my  muse  closer  by  a  piece  of  clothing . ❛  tear .   to  tear  a  piece  of  clothing  from  my  muse’s  body . ❛  shower .   to  have  sex  with  my  muse  in  the  [ shower / bath ] . ❛  sneaky .   to  sneak  away  from  a  gathering  to  have  sex  with  my  muse . ❛  beg .   to  make  my  muse  beg . ❛  carnal .   to  [ scratch / bite ]  my  muse  during  intimacy . ❛  preoccupied .   to  rile  my  muse  up  as  they  [ read / work ] . ❛  jealous .   to  purposefully  make  my  muse  react  possessively . ❛  dare .   to  have  sex  with  my  muse  based  off  a  dare . ❛  read .   to  re-enact  something  from  a  [ book / show / porn ]  with  my  muse . ❛  collapse .   to  break  a  bed  during  sex  with  my  muse . ❛  caught .   to  get  caught  with  my  muse  during  sex .

[devlsbackbone]

misdcmeanours​:

“you do care.” theon mumbles turning to look her deep in the eye. he was always this stern, always this dark and all together confusing to talk to. but he likes it this way. he always has. and as he wipes a thumb over his bottom lip he smirks. “you obviously love the little prick, and you were a huge fan of the band. i happen to know from social media that our falling out is a very big topic of discussion. and i am not hiding anything.”

he shouldn’t scare her away before he got a gym buddy. but he couldn’t help it. he raises a brow and waves her to the door. “of course i know your name. we live together.”

while johnny had gone on and on about TANTRUM’s FRONTMAN, imitating bits and pieces of apollo’s stage presence, gretchen could always find a hundred reasons why the guitarist, always so cool and controlled, was more enthralling. unfortunately, it was less fun in person. “i wasn’t that huge of a fan?” she mutters, rolling her eyes. “i had my own rockstar boyfriend to stan.”

still, it’s very tempting--- no. he should be the one tempted? she follows his gesture, but stops after a few step to bend to tie her shoes, making a point to take her time. she might be rusty flirting, but she still looked good. purposefully slowly, she stands back up to her full height with a small smirk. “you’ve barely spoken to me before?”

[devlsbackbone]

❛ i’m replaceable. you’re not. ❜ (gretchen)

          he was going to give her an ulcer, or grey hair or--- “you’re not replaceable! don't say that!” and now here she was, in hospital, beside the bed of another oded rockstar. but apollo was her brother, and she could never give up on him ( as if she had ever really given up johnny either. a tear slips past her lashes and she doesn’t bother to wipe it away. she’s just glad he’s finally awake. “you have to eat your jello and drink your water because i need you around, okay? i need you, apollo. i just got you?”