disasterghaster

[disasterghaster]

hrmn conventions on icon styles seem to be grainy, high contrasted, and then desaturated <.<

[disasterghaster]

"...Debatable."

She eyed the rebar in hand. Pondering something before she started to bend between hands. Slowly. While speaking.

"I know a guy that specializes in hard light if you think that might help." Provided he continued to not be a dangerous squirrelly fuck.

The rebar snapped in half and she looked instantly disappointed. Metal rebar didn't do that.

"Cool. Cool-cool." The parts of her brain that were still wired to tirelessly consider what might kill her or not was not especially comforted, but she was determined not to linger on the topic.

"Feel like that's a Gremlins situation."

[disasterghaster]

"Cool. Cool-cool." The parts of her brain that were still wired to tirelessly consider what might kill her or not was not especially comforted, but she was determined not to linger on the topic.

"Feel like that's a Gremlins situation."

"Nnnnope." Elongated on the 'n' and punctual on the rest. Not cool with this building being a 'black box'. Haha. Heh-heh. Hmhm. She forcefully coughed into a hand and yanked herself out of a thought spiral.

"I'm fine." Ammended.

[disasterghaster]

"Nnnnope." Elongated on the 'n' and punctual on the rest. Not cool with this building being a 'black box'. Haha. Heh-heh. Hmhm. She forcefully coughed into a hand and yanked herself out of a thought spiral.

"I'm fine." Ammended.

Mmmm. Well. She was looking around at the walls extra suspicious. Don't like that.

Preoccupied and distracted by that now.

[disasterghaster]

Came out of her room when her brain hole wasn't nearing psychosis. Needed to put more water from the stack of bottled water in the garage into her room-mini-fridge. Done with that, she did some cleaning around the house. Helped her feel normal to do some chores.

Sooner or later noticed the couch damage, sighed to herself, and left the house for about an hour. Came back with some rolled up cheap carpet. As well as some wood and nails.

Made a few people sized scratching posts. One got affixed to the couch corner that go damaged. A few were left around the house in interesting places.

The rest was used to make some climb-carpet-walls. Livingroom and their designated play and toy room.

Kept her busy. Would take a few hours. Kept her focused and calm.

[disasterghaster]

Mmmm. Well. She was looking around at the walls extra suspicious. Don't like that.

Preoccupied and distracted by that now.

She rarely did this these days; it felt slightly unethical to do this sort of thing short of harmless pranks or dire need. She did a freak-speed sleight of hand to add her handful of popcorn to the bunch of it he'd just dump trucked into his own mouth.

Unaware he could probably at least sense that for shear fact it played games on light to pull off.

Zero waste! How econimical.

"Don't look at me like I remember. I just know it was less than a year."

[disasterghaster]

Long as no one is lookin' at her, she guesses.

[disasterghaster]

[.ooc.]

I think...

i think I might be having the starts of that pmdd/pmdd-like thing

because god it takes nothing for me to cry since yesterday and all I want in the world is accept that people like me and I dont need to keep reaffirming that to myself

oof

i hope the Lexapro helps with this

at the very least I hope that I'm aware of it this time helps me to not totally wig out by the time it gets bad

i miss feeling just confident enough to not second guess everything i do all the time to the point I think I suck and no one likes me at all and that I'm some kind of burden or off putting to people to ppl ive never even spoken to jfc please

a can I get a break from being in pain? I mean, I can more or less deal with mental pain and im not asking for the physical kind back like I'm not ungrateful but

damn

you know?

[disasterghaster]

Alias: Asche/Daisy

Name: Sarah

Age: 35

Gender: non-beanie

Where In the World? : South of Chicago, Illinois

Pronouns: Eh. Her is fine. Lived with it this long, lmao. But I don't mind and sometimes enjoy a good he/him or they/them now and again.

Zodiac sign: Cancer

Favorite music: Seems to be lyric-less and heavy bass or stompy music. Which is kinda lame when I wanna have playlists for my blorbos...

Favorite color: lol, by lookin' at me you would say 'blue' and you'd be partially right. I'm a werido who likes more than one. 'Rich' and 'dark' colors the most so--blue, purple, dark gray, black, and sometimes colors like bright orange or primary green.

Favorite food: Food is less about favorites for me and more about cooking it myself! Otherwise it's just kinda a thing I have to do (eat) and don't find any particular joy about the task.

Favorite drink: Cold. The more nearly frozen solid it is, the better, lol. I'm bad at singular favorites, though. Citrus and blue raspberry flavored slushies, maybe?

Favorite thing to do: Write, RP, read, talking to people that like me enough to talk to me on the regular (because I know I'm not always good at reaching out first, brain worms and chemical problems), cooking(!), playing games (esp. storyline and resource management ones despite how bad I can be at them, lol), and HASSLIN' MY CATS (with love).

Other hobbies: I crochet! When I'm of the mind and health for it. I also like to collect pins, stickers, and Pokémon cards.

3 Random facts about me:

I have 5 kitties! Two them adopted and three found in various places.

I can't think of anything good to add here. Sorry.

I keep writing something and going 'no, that's too dark or sad'.

I'm never good at this part.

But I did it, yay.

I know I don't get my behind the screen exposure unless someone gets in my business first on their own.

Just hope it makes me more approachable, I guess.

[disasterghaster]

[.ooc.]

hah wow buddy

i mentioned those symptoms ive been having with the possible pmdd and the severe boughtd of me goin real squirrelly (major depressive and suicidal) and now ive been put on lexpro so...lets hope it helps

[disasterghaster]

She rarely did this these days; it felt slightly unethical to do this sort of thing short of harmless pranks or dire need. She did a freak-speed sleight of hand to add her handful of popcorn to the bunch of it he'd just dump trucked into his own mouth.

Unaware he could probably at least sense that for shear fact it played games on light to pull off.

Zero waste! How econimical.

"Don't look at me like I remember. I just know it was less than a year."

"Try going lower." Quipped back. Gradually eyed the popcorn bag. She wasn't hungry. Noooot even close. Even Cheerio's (her goin' bonkers safe go to meal) had looked a bit like mealworms curled up into o's. Literally. Not figurative.

But if she didn't take it--and this only existed in her whacko brain-wiring--he'd think she wasn't accepting the ongoing truce. Ugh, you know?

She swiped and handful of the popcorn...

and then stood their with a handful of popcorn and a blank expression.

[disasterghaster]

"Try going lower." Quipped back. Gradually eyed the popcorn bag. She wasn't hungry. Noooot even close. Even Cheerio's (her goin' bonkers safe go to meal) had looked a bit like mealworms curled up into o's. Literally. Not figurative.

But if she didn't take it--and this only existed in her whacko brain-wiring--he'd think she wasn't accepting the ongoing truce. Ugh, you know?

She swiped and handful of the popcorn...

and then stood their with a handful of popcorn and a blank expression.

"No, Ding, I didN'T FUCKING KNOW THAT WHEN IT WAS HAPPENING. I do now. Horray~" With a sarcastic finger spin for whoopdie-doo on 'horray'. Little...little stressed. Little cranky.

[disasterghaster]

"I am going to put him in an empty Sano Crystal." Said suddenly.

[disasterghaster]

"No, Ding, I didN'T FUCKING KNOW THAT WHEN IT WAS HAPPENING. I do now. Horray~" With a sarcastic finger spin for whoopdie-doo on 'horray'. Little...little stressed. Little cranky.

@luximperator

"I choose not to think about that day very hard, you know."

[disasterghaster]

@luximperator

"I choose not to think about that day very hard, you know."

[disasterghaster]

isn't your body also kind of another person too? it'd be kind of rude to kill it even if you weren't worried about the Dagus situation

"Sort of. I don't know if I consider it something that...independent." Beyond making sure it wasn't going to die when she got into a Situation with it and had to leave it--she wasn't really concerned with its personhood or anything like that. "Point's moot, anyway. Suicide is nothing more than an energy sinkhole in my posit--Fuck."

Was she talking to herself? Her shoulders hunched up around her ears as she leaned more over the table. She was probably talking to her feHUYKin' self.

[disasterghaster]

Not to dissuade you, but what's wrong with Dagus?

Rubbed at her eyelid and slouched over the table. "They don't even know who they are 99.8 precent of the time. For one thing."