discobirdgrayson

[discobirdgrayson]

i will fistfight anyone who tells me that batman is a humorless manly cool-guy

i'm playing arkham asylum finally and you're telling me this dork sprays the explosive gel in the shape of a bat???? that's so much unnecessary effort just make it a blob like the rest of us dweeb

[discobirdgrayson]

so Batman has the skill Functional Dissociation In Emergency that allows him to shut down all emotion when things get real bad which is why his coworkers think he's a sociopath and why his kids feel vaguely ashamed that they weren't born with this very impressive feat

yes there is a mini-little Bruce in his head that's having the panic attack and yes that Bruce comes screaming to the surface the second things are deemed safe and Batman has to go throw up in the corner in response

[discobirdgrayson]

I love your metas! I was wondering... have you or anyone else tried listing all of Bruce's childhood traumas? Comics zero in on Crime Alley, but EVERY time I see a snippet from his childhood it's invariably a little-to-a-lot fucked up whether his parents are involved (loneliness, bedtime stories, his mom lovingly promising to haunt him) or not (falling into the cave, going to a boarding school run by a killer in Batman Gothic, Tommy Elliott in general, a childhood friend died of diphtheria in Batman Through the Looking Glass... he saw a LOT of death as a child, actually...)

Thank you! I unfortunately don't know of a post listing all of Bruce's childhood traumas. You've kind of already covered a lot of bases, Anon, but for the sake of completeness I'll go through all you've mentioned and the traumatic incidents I can recall too:

Bruce falls into a well full of bats and develops a phobia in response [notable post-Crisis flashback in Batman: The Man Who Falls]

At five years old, Bruce's favorite story to have Thomas read to him every night for a month is “The Veldt” by Ray Bradbury, which is largely about kids with such neglectful parents that they bond with an automated house and then leave their parents for dead [mentioned by Bruce(s) in Batman/Superman (2013) #2]

Bruce witnessed his father performing surgery on a dying man [flashback in Batman: The Long Halloween]

Thomas reads to Bruce “The Animals and the Pit” by Alexander Nikolaevich Afanasyev, a story containing cannibalism and brutal fights for survival [flashback in Batman (2016) #74]

Thomas had Bruce watch horror movies with him, with Martha having to comfort Bruce afterwards in a bit of an unorthodox way... by promising that if they died, his parents would haunt him [flashback in Detective Comics (2016) #1027 -- Ghost Story]

Bruce experienced neglect as a child, with his father's parenting style being potrayed in multiple stories as authoritarian, which led to Bruce idolizing him and craving his approval, but running to Martha for comfort when his father was too harsh [notable flashbacks in Batman: The Dark Knight II (2011) #12, but bits of this can be seen in Batman: The Long Halloween, Batman: Hush, Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #58, Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on a Serious Earth etc.]

Bruce had a friend called Celia Small for a while, whom he adored. He watched her die of diptheria while he recovered, blaming himself for it [mentioned in Batman: Through the Looking Glass]

Bruce was sent to a private school as a child, which he resented as being "sent away"; the school is described as hell, a place where children were beaten, humiliated and had to fight off the sexual advances of older teachers. Bruce gets spanked as physical punishment by the headmaster, who turns out to be a serial killer, because Bruce glimpses the severed head of his only friend Robert as it happens [flashbacks in Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #7 -- Gothic]

Bruce accidentally shoots a duck with a rifle his friend Mooley had brought with them, and the death of the animal becomes a traumatic memory associated with the death of his parents, because of the gun [Batman: Secrets #4]

Bruce's childhood friend, Tommy Elliot... um. I guess I can just list Tommy Elliot, but the most direct traumatic experience at the time must've been having to stop Thomas from killing another kid, after which Thomas was put in a psychiatric institution [flashback in Detective Comics (1937) #837]

Bruce's father hits him while angry about a stock investment, with Bruce declaring in childish rage to his mother afterwards that he wants him dead... on the same day that his parents got gunned down, because Bruce's survivor's guilt needed more ammunition [flashback in Batman (1940) #430]

And then there's the shooting of his parents at the tender age of 8 years old! So all of this is prior to that! Two dead friends, one who avoided him after the unfortunate duck incident, and one friend who had a violent breakdown and got taken away... And Bruce attempted suicide after his parents died too, as told in Batman (2016) #12.

[discobirdgrayson]

seing the new Superman clearly stand with Palestine was so satisfying for me 😭

all the z!onists on this app who were hyping up the movie before it dropped must be fuming rn and honestly, I love that !! huge thanks for delivering a powerful, comic-accurate Superman that actually reflects REAL values 🫡 what a win !!!

[discobirdgrayson]

felt brave enough to post this

[discobirdgrayson]

Ok hot take:

Bruce can cook.

But no one *wants* him to cook.

That man spends hours remaking the same omelette over and over again until it’s perfect and no he will not stop. It needs the perfect ratio of seasonings, it needs to follow the recipe exactly, can’t be over cooked or undercooked or he has to start all over, and he doesn’t care if he has to go out to get more ingredients until he gets it right.

Getting caught he goes “Haha, can’t be perfect at everything :)”

But if you let him continue he’ll be in there for three hours with 14 dishes of collateral.

[discobirdgrayson]

The sunlight was gentle through the curtains—soft gold spilling across the bedsheets, catching on the edge of Clark's cape, which was half draped off the mattress like it had lost a war.

Bruce was barely awake, muscles sore, throat raw from too much kissing and other things, completely trapped under a blanket of six-foot-four Kryptonian who had apparently decided that being horizontal meant clinging like a vine.

Clark was sprawled across him, face tucked into Bruce's neck, one leg between his thighs, arms locked around his waist like he was worried Bruce might evaporate if he let go.

Bruce blinked up at the ceiling, trying not to groan.

He tried to shift, Clark made a low, needy sound and pulled him closer.

"You're heavy" Bruce rasped.

"Mm" Clark mumbled into his shoulder "You're warm"

"I have a board meeting"

"You're mine"

Bruce let out a long breath through his nose and gave up. He wasn't going anywhere.

Just as he resigned himself to being used as a weighted blanket indefinitely, the door creaked open with impeccable timing.

In walked Alfred with a silver tray, two teacups and not a single flicker of emotion on his face.

"Good morning, Master Wayne" Alfred said evenly, as though Clark wasn't half-naked in Bruce's bed, wrapped around him like sin.

Bruce stared "Alfred"

"Your tea, sir" He set the tray down gently on the nightstand "Extra ginger, I assumed your throat might be strained"

Clark choked quietly against Bruce's neck.

Alfred continued, completely unfazed "And a protein supplement for you, Mr. Kent. Though I daresay you seem well-nourished"

Clark was visibly dying.

Bruce covered his face with one hand "Alfred, please"

Alfred adjusted his cufflinks, expression unreadable "shall I inform the Board you'll be thirty minutes behind, or an hour?"

Clark finally lifted his head, eyes wide with embarrassment "I—I can fly him there in ten seconds"

"Oh I'm sure you could" Alfred said politely "Though I do suggest waiting until Master Wayne's legs, well, stop trembling"

Clark whimpered.

Bruce made a pained noise into his pillow.

Alfred turned, ever the perfect butler "Enjoy your tea, gentlemen"

And then he left.

With the door closed behind him, Clark groaned and buried his face in Bruce’s chest "I'm never showing my face in this place again"

Bruce, flatly: "I remember that you live here now"

Clark groaned louder "He knows"

"He's always known"

"why did he bring tea??"

Bruce reached for a cup, deadpan: "Because he's merciful"

[discobirdgrayson]

It's easy to forget that Batman is Bruce Wayne, until it isn't ;)

(based on this)

[discobirdgrayson]

“You inspired me.”

[discobirdgrayson]

what batman movie did yall watch

[discobirdgrayson]

After Batman revealed his identity as Bruce Wayne to the Justice League, several members were seen scrolling through their social media feeds and watching videos of Bruce Wayne dancing to popular trends with horrified fascination and disbelief. Not Clark though, he’s busy filming Bruce (nobody knows Bruce’s good camera angles better than him and he’s also smoother than any drone) then sending those videos to Barbara who’s helping to curate Bruce’s social media accounts.

[discobirdgrayson]

thinking about Bruce Wayne getting hit with one of those 'speak your mind' curses and then accidentally dumping trauma Dad Lore onto his kids

----------------------

Dick: So....who's your favorite kid?

Bruce: It depends on who called me dad last.

Jason *poking his head around the doorway*: ....does Old Man count?

Bruce: Yes.

----------------------

Tim: Damn, Scarecrow laced his gas with Venom

Bruce: Fuck, I just got 20 years sober.

Tim: you what.

----------------------

Duke: What's the cold case file labeled Mister Whisper?

Bruce: My headmaster sold his soul, killed my best friend and six other students, and beat me in front of my friend's dead body

Duke: 😨

----------------------

Damian: Father, there was a breakout at a Russian prison yesterday.

Bruce: It's a political prison. I was tortured there for thirteen days when I was 18.

Damian *speed-dialing Dick*: Hm. Do you remember their names?

[discobirdgrayson]

“Batman doesn’t act human” yeah that’s literally three untreated disorders in a trauma trencoat with a heart that’s 6 sizes too big what did you expect

[discobirdgrayson]

i need brucie to be more annoying. torture that reporter now.

[discobirdgrayson]

Ok I had this rotting in my mind for days now

Bruce *going live as brucie Wayne because he saw a tweet about him saying he was acting weirdly (it was actually damian shit posting) and paranoid abt his identity he decides to up the brucie effect to 100* : and then he winked at moi! Like, can you believe itttt~

Dick *kicks the door open, bursting into the room full on sobbing* : bruuuceee

Bruce *immediately stops what he was saying and gets up to comfort him* : what's wrong chum?

Tim, steph, cass and duke *run into the room in various levels of crying*

Bruce *actually starts to panic* : kids?

Damian*walk in sniffing* : baba!

Bruce *pale and looks about ready to cry himself* : what's wrong?who was it? Give me names,descriptions, anything-

Jason-youre-not-my-dad-i-dont-live-here-fuck-you-mothefucking-todd *walks in red-faced and barely keeping it together*: dad..

Okay, picture this we've got Bruce pale and sweaty, holding a still sobbing dick and and surrounded by steph,cass,duke and picking damian up all quietly crying and/or sniffing and we've got tim pressing his face to Bruce side, shoulders chaking and then jason of all people starts sniffing and Bruce literally goes even paler (of that's even possibe) and pulls him in

Bruce : What's wrong? Talk to me, sweetheart

Dick : it-it's they- * Starts wailling*

Bruce : they? Who's they? Did you get their names?adresss? Social security number?

Steph : n-no it's not- *hiccups and buries her face on him, you can hear her crying*

Jason :..I don't think I'll ever be the same

Bruce : from what? What is it?

Barbara * Wheeling in, popcorn in hand, eyes red and sniffing:

Bruce : Barbara?

Babs: hey b

*Que lots of sniffing*

Bruce : what's going on?

Babs:Oh, we watched a movie

Bruce: excuse me?

Babs: Yeah, grave of the fireflies, man that was heartbreaking

*higher crying*

Bruce:

The next day

Headlines go like this :

*brucie Wayne secretly just a loving father*

*brucie Wayne threatens whoever hurts his children*

*Wayne children being dependent on their dad no matter how old they get*

Social media similarly is bursting with :

"I love how he was ready to commit murder for them lmaooo"

"Is it just me or did brucie just get 10 times hotter*

"Man, dick grayson crying is something I didn't know I needed, that man is such a pretty crier"

"Damn, I love how tim drake and Stephanie brown just buried themselves in their dad"

"My God I always thought damian wayne was bratty but he's actually really cute?"

*God brucie holding damian, dick and still hugging all his other children is so hot"

"Hold on, isn't jason todd dead?"

(And no, this isn't me projecting. grave of the fireflies did not emotionally destroy me. What?)

[discobirdgrayson]

Concept: Brucie Wayne but he's just Miriam Margolyes

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

[discobirdgrayson]

every Superman actor should be able to nail the “oh I’m just a goofy, relaxed guy” body language and the sudden on-a-dime shift from “Clark Kent” to “Superman by happenstance in business clothes.”

not a physical transformation per se, not him switching into the Superman suit — just a tilt of the head, a squaring of the shoulders, and a new sharpness to the eyes that wasn’t there before.