doin-just-fine

[doin-just-fine]

In an hour and a half we have our first EMDR reprocessing session in 8 years and we're a bit nervous about it.

Does anybody have any advice or helpful tips for before, during, or after? We just don't know what to expect...

[doin-just-fine]

Hey other systems, we've got a question for you guys:

When you "discover" stuff about your system, headmates, headspace, or anything about the way things do work or have worked in your systems does it feel like:

1: Uncovering information that was always there but hidden from you (things like being told information you didn't know about by another headmate, accidentally stumbling across something you didn't even know was there, blind discovery type stuff)

2: Slowly piecing things together and inferring what they must mean (things like connecting information that was never or no longer hidden from you and concluding what that means or meant for your system)

3: Or guessing about things until you bump around enough you start to form an understanding of them (things like testing theories you have and seeing what sticks, kind of like if you were to be researching autistic traits, seeing you align with a few and trying out coping techniques for autistic individuals to see if they help you, if they do you conclude you might be autistic and if they don't then you aren't but in an internal system way)

4: Or does it feel complete different from anything I described here.

cw: slight denial mentality We're doing some internal understanding work which is hard for us. It kinda feels likes the 3 one for us right now but that one also makes it feels like we're making stuff up. To be honest, even if it is that we are making stuff up internally it's just because we are trying to make sense of how our brain works and we're just too in the dark to find the real reasons for things which is nothing to be ashamed of. We are just looking for other systems experience with internal discoveries to compare our experience to!

[doin-just-fine]

Types of Amnesia

Diagram created by me

General criteria for amnesia:

Memory loss

Confusion

Inability to recognize familiar figures/places

Difficulty recalling names or places

Not remembering where you went

Worser ability to remember things that had happened Post on how to handle these kinds of amnesia: click here!

Generalized Amnesia Where a person completely forgets everything about themself and have no recollection of what, where, and who they spoke to. This can describe a blackout switch and may still recognize who they are.

Localized Amnesia Where a person is unable to recall a specific/series of event from the whole, which creates an incomplete picture of the situation. For example, remembering childhood but not the abuse.

Selective Amnesia Where a person only lost some and retain the rest, forgetting parts yet not all of them. This can describe greyouts as it grasps some information/sensory yet not enough to tell what exactly happened. One example is playing the phone and unable to recall what occured, only to jump its memory right to being at bed.

Emotional Amnesia Where a person has an intact memory and it's details on what had happened, but do not remember what the event feels like (e.g. was scared, happy, etc.). One description is that you're watching something that didn't happen to you, because you don't feel like being in the scene itself.

Continuous Amnesia Where a person fails to retain full parts of the event/day, for a set period of time (can vary from minutes to days) and create an accumulative, small bits of selective amnesias, continuously, leaving many gaps in a chronological timeline. This usually happens in times or stress, or abuse.

Fragmented Amnesia Where a person has an unrelated, and/or disjointed memories that does not go with the timeline's order, creating confusion and difficult to grasp the cohesive picture of what truly happened. Emotional amnesia may be present in this type. Bonus for systems:

Amnesia barriers Where a person fronting is not able to recall other alter's memories, which is a form of retrograde amnesia and compartmentalization. Because the fronter will only retain any information before switching out with the next one, the rest experiences anterograde amnesia as it cannot form and remember those memories, unless being coconcious or cofronting (even though, this is not always guaranteed).

Take notes that amnesia can still happen outside system things due to comorbidities like anxiety disorders or depression, this does mean systems are bound to experience more amnesia compared to non-systems folks out there.

Do you have any discussions about this? Or would like to describe your own way of seeing these different types of amnesia? Or have more to add? Feel free to tell them here!

- j

[doin-just-fine]

ALL SYSTEMS ARE VALID!!! DONT LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE!! YOUR SYSTEM IS YOURS NOT ANYONE ELSES!! JUDGING PEOPLE FOR JUST LIVING IS LOW!! KEEP BEING AWESOME!!!

[doin-just-fine]

Happy National Coming Out Day

In honor of the big day we shall list our identities bellow for those who are curious!

🛸DoinFine: Demi aro/ace, bisexual, agender, and my pronouns are they/them!

☁️ cloud: trans masc he/him. i don’t care enough to identify with a sexuality but i’ll let doinfine and summer describe what they think fits my attitudes best. 🛸🌾 We think Cloud would find that pansexual, aromantic, demisexual, all fit him well.

🌾Summer: Hello! I would say I identify as a sapphic lesbian, probably demi aro/ace as well, um and as much as I would like my gender to be as interesting as everyone elses I must be honest with myself and say that I am, in fact, a cis woman and my pronouns are she/her! 💕

🛸🌾Bean wants to be included because everyone else got to say something. So we’ll let her explain her gender!

🧸Bean: Ok, yay, hi! I am Bean! I am tomboy! I am a girl but I don’t like being girly. I like running around and climbing trees and i can’t do that while being girly! I like pretty dresses though just not all the time!

Well, there you have it! Thats us!!

[doin-just-fine]

Don't be alarmed guys! It's still us! We just changed our blogs vibe to fit more of what this account is about, all of us. We made everyone side blogs, 🛸DoinFine - ☁️Cloud - 🌾Summer - 🧸Bean - Collective, and while we were doing that we realized that DoinFine's Picrew had been the face of this account which is a blog for all of us to recount our experiences, so we gave it a face lift.

Little Blog Tour Beneath (if you're interested)

Our profile picture is a picture of Kurt Cobain with a black cat sleeping on his head. This was something we pinned to our System board on pintrest when we thought it was just 🛸DoinFine and ☁️Cloud up here; DoinFine would be Kurt and Cloud would be the black cat on his head. Anyway, we took that photo and photoshopped the cats head two more times to represent Bean and Summer. So now its a photo of Kurt Cobain with Three black cats on his head lol.

Our background is of a bunch of people meeting and hanging out but all you see is the table they're at and they're hands. Thats us!! We originally wanted a photo of a bunch of hands at a table writing because thats what we do here but we couldn't find one so that was the closes thing. It's like we're all chatting and discussing what we're gonna talk about!

Anyway, that's all lol just thought some people would apreciate the profile picture.

[doin-just-fine]

How we type in text posts: A Guide

This is for those who care about or are confused by the way we type in text posts. As an atypical system with a front stuck host we flip rather fluidly between plural pronouns and individual pronouns. We think it's interesting when this flip happens in real time as we type and choose to not go in a fix it. Instead, we mark where the switch over happens and who switched in to speak. We do this by finding the first singular pronouns and marking it with the corresponding persons emoji.

Example: We as a system like to do many things and share many interests and this can lead to 🛸me having an identity crisis some times.

In this example you can see that 🛸DoinFine completed the thought. When one of us is typing an entire post or many paragraphs in a post we'll just put the emoji at the beginning of the paragraph and leave it at that.

We also do it when peoples names are mentioned as seen above. This so people know who belongs to what emoji.

We also do the same thing for pronouns in stories. For example, if we were to share a story about 🌾Summer and 🧸Bean, who both uses she/her pronouns, we would occasionally place there respective emojis in front of the corresponding pronoun to avoid confusion.

Nobody has any typing quirks necessarily, but just to be different ☁️Cloud likes to type with no capitals. The reason we don't count it as a typing quirk is because when people are writing, they are writing through DoinFine. The only thing that DoinFine does not control is the words people chose to use when their thoughts are flowing, but unfortunately DoinFines typing habits override how other people would time unless 🛸they make a conscious effort or we go back and fix it. We do usually go back and fix it since that is how Cloud would type if given the choice but we just don't count it as a quirk becuase it isn't always consistent.

Anyway, have that random bit of insight!

[doin-just-fine]

hello! I’m not a system myself, but I’m doing some research for a friend of mine who’s questioning.

I was wondering if you could do a ‘the people wanna know’ about what different kinds of systems there are/how it can present, or something in that vein?

Thanks, love your stuff!

The People Wanna Know: System Types

Disclaimer: We are by no means experts in this at all. We are quite new to the whole being plural thing and there is A LOT to learn when it comes to plurality and systems, especially in types and "microlabels". These microlabels are VERY helpful when someone is trying to sort out if they are plural or not especially if they are an atypical system like us. They can make you feel validated and at home when previously there was fear and confusion. We also want to suggest that you continue your deep dive outside of this post! We hope you give you a launch pad into the complex world of plurality but do not let this be the end of the research! I will be using definitions mostly from Pluralpedia. Systemhood and plurality is very under researched so many of the labels you'll see are created by community members that are then adopted by the greater community. That all being said, as validating as these microlabels can be they can sometimes also have the opposite effect if they don't fit all the way. If you guys land on them being plural, we encourage you to leave the microlabels behind especially if those labels are close to their experiences but not quite accurate in all ways. 🛸I found when identifying specifically as a Median system, it lead to a few denial spirals because that label mostly fit our experience but not all the way or all the time which lead to us question our experiences making it harder to accept and understand ourselves. I personally find just calling myself plural or a system is enough and allows me the freedom to have my own unique experience as a human being with an atypical brain that science is only just starting to research and understand rather than trying to define my experiences filtered through a ill fitting label that doesn't change with me as we grow and learn. But, if you guys find a label that fits like a glove CONGRATS! Use it, love it, where it with pride!

ANYWAY, THE PEOPLE WANNA KNOW!

System Types

DIAGNOSABLE SYSTEMS (labels recognized by the DSM-V) DID OSDD 1 OSDD 1A OSDD 1B OSDD 2 OSDD 3 OSDD 4 UDD

None of those fit? Build Your Own System

I will be giving short definitions of each label. If you want more information each term will take you to a more in depth description.

ORIGINS (why the system formed) Traumagenic: Origins were trauma related. Endogenic: Umbrella term for origins that are related to something other than trauma, though trauma can still be a factor but not always. SUBCATEGORIES: (link to microlabels of the subcategories bellow) Created: Systems that were created intentionally for any reason. Adaptive: Origins that were related to trauma or other adversity. Spontaneous: For systems that seemed to just appear one day seemingly without cause. Unknown: A system who's origins are unknown, unclear, or still being sorted out. Mixed: Multiple origin labels can be applied to these systems.

CONSCIOUSNESS (how communication, conscious connection, and shared existence feels with in a system) Monoconscious: Shared consciousness between members where everyone thinks the same thing together as individuals. Polyconscious: Everyone in a system has their own thoughts and mind that are separate from each other. Hydraconscious: Everyone has their own thoughts and mind but in a collective consciousness. This may feel like everyone talking out loud about different things at the same time. Cephaconscious: When member are in or near the front together they have a shared monoconscious experience but when they are not in the front they have their own separate thoughts and mind. Mutoconscious: When member are in or near the front together they have a shared monoconscious experience but when they are not in the front they have a hydraconscious experience. SYSTEM SEPARATION (how individual are the individuals) Partitionary System: Individuals are very distinct. They do not share memories and often experience time loss. Median Systems: Individuals are less distinct and blend with each other more. These systems often don't experience typical amnesia. Blurian: Systems who share 100% of memories regardless of who's fronting. These system may also not experience Amnesia. (Edit: Here is some more resources for things that blur the line of plurality and systemhood ) Unrelated to the question but maybe to your situation here is a link to help questioning systems

I hope this was helpful let me know if you have any questions or need clarification!!

REMEMBER: You're gonna be ok. You're gonna figure it out. Be kind and gentle with yourself and others. Asks are open. Have a nice day.

[doin-just-fine]

people forget that systems won’t ever have the same experience. one system may be happy to be a system, that’s normal. one system may not be happy to be one, that’s normal too.

saying you’re not allowed to feel a certain way about your system, is very controlling.

you can be happy or unhappy about your situation. don’t let people tell you otherwise

[doin-just-fine]

You don't need to know everything there is to know about yourself or your system. It's okay to not know.

[doin-just-fine]

Endo Safe

We accept all system/collective origins here.

[doin-just-fine]

Hiya!! I saw you were inviting people to ask you system stuff, so as a questioning/newly discovered plural I have a couple questions!! If you're uncomfy answering these please feel free to skip any or delete this ask! I know they're potentially quite personal.

How did you find out you're a system?

What does internal communication look/feel like for you?

How do you personally handle self doubt?

The People Wanna Know:

🛸 Hello!! Thank you for submitting this question! I know as a newly discovered system reaching out about system things can be scary!!

For you're first question, the initial "discovery" was after I had gone off my ADHD meds for a week due to the shortages that were/are happening. I have been medicated for my ADHD since I was 8 and hadn't had a break from my meds greater than a day or two since that age. Let me set the scene, I'm finally living on my own, dating a system, and under a lot of stress from other things in my life. I start questioning if I'm a system just a little bit, more of a check in with my psyche and less of theres evidence pointing me here. Then BOOM no meds for a week or so. As I start questioning this and checking in (something I have done before quite a few times since learning and researching about plurality off and on the past 5 years) I notice that theres a really loud voice telling me horrible things about myself every time I try to think and check in about this. At the time this was a very uncommon thing for my mind. As the week progressed the voice and it's emotion got more and more distressing each time it piped up but I kept pushing back against it until it almost felt like a bubble popped. I was fighting the rude voice and suddenly I got a wash of this voices name/identity. It felt like a voiceover layered with different ways of identifying with the name Cloud mixed with telling me off. Ex (tw: aggressive language ): "You're a fucking idiot" "This is stupid" "Dumb ass" "Fuck You Fuck You Fuck You" ((Bubble Pops)) "cloud" "You're a fucking idiot" "name-" "This is stupid" "You're just lonely" "name: cloud" "You're not a system just stop" "i am cloud" "Fucking idiot you're so stupid" "Fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off" "cloud" To be clear, it was more like the bubble popped and suddenly a new sense of identity started transmitting to me. Before just his words where being projected to me almost like over a loud speaker and then suddenly I was sharing a consciousness with him. This interaction was able to happen because my meds create a bit of a barrier that makes communication more difficult and therefore easier to hide the plurality from me. Once my meds were out of my system it made that negative voice louder and pushing against it easier until everything gave way.

Plurality is covert, meaning it doesn't want to be discovered and will do what it can to stay hidden, thats why gatekeepers exist and why denial spirals happen. You're brain doesn't want you to acknowledge it because then that means you are going to acknowledge what it has deemed unsafe memories, emotions, thoughts, feelings, patterns, ect. It also takes practice to navigate and communicate in your system and you won't be able to be sure of things right away. Things will change as you understand them better. For you're second question about communication I will be referencing how our varying levels of "fronting" works and to avoid making this response incredibly long I will direct you to the original post we first explain it in. We mostly feel each others thoughts rather than hear them. The only time I can every "hear" someone else's thoughts is if they are right next to me and/or feeling something very strongly. Usually if we want to "talk" to each other we talk out loud so everyone can hear what's being said and respond, or we right it out. But usually we rely of deciphering feelings. I can hear my own thought in my head but no one else's usually but they can seemingly hear mine. So I can talk to them in my head and then try to feel what they're emotional reaction is to what I'm saying and decipher their responses. It's a lot of yes or no questions or statements. like playing 20 questions. I can try to expand on our communication more if anyone would like me to. I do plan on making a post about it at some point.

As for your last question that ones very hard. I'm lucky that I told my therapist and she validated me making me feel clinically seen even without a formal diagnosis. She is far from being an expert or specialist but just being told by a medical professional "hey you're valid" was enough to take away the MAJOR denial feelings we would get. Early on it's gonna be very common and very hard. I had a could people go quite when I was first learning because they felt that me just wrapping my head around clouds existence alone first might be a better plan that 3 new people. And even now, it isn’t gone. It rears its head now and then especially because we are an atypical system so a few things that people use to fake claim kinda apply to us and we get worried we’re mistaken. If you have trauma, leaning on that when you have a denial spiral can be helpful like reminding yourself it makes sense for your brain to operate this way. If you don’t have trauma right down moments that feel particularly real and plural and when you start spiralling read those moments and try to remember how real that felt.

I hope this was helpful let me know if you have any questions or need clarification!!

REMEMBER: You're gonna be ok. You're gonna figure it out. Be kind and gentle with yourself and others. Asks are open. Have a nice day.

[doin-just-fine]

The People Wanna Know: Dissociation

Q: “How do you tell when you’re dissociating, and what kinds are there?”

A: 🛸 Great question! When figuring out my plurality we had a few questions about dissociating and how to tell the difference between that and being lost in thought and blah blah blah. SO! Here's what we've got for you!

🛸 Many people will describe dissociating as "checking out" which is super vague and leave a lot of questions as to what exactly that means. Not to mention that some people just kind of live in a state of dissociation and don't have a reference of "normal" so I will try to give you both. What does it mean, feel like, look like to dissociate? Meaning: Dissociating happens when there is too much stress for the mind to handle. Things like a traumatic event can cause dissociation or just everyday mundane situations that lead to dissociation like going on auto pilot when you're driving or reading a book. Immediately after a traumatic even it's that feeling where time slows and nothing feels real like you're watching the events around on a tv screen instead of being there in persons. I think what most people wonder about or need clarification on is random moments of dissociation due to an over active trauma response. Most systems experience long term trauma that puts them in a constant state of fight or flight. This causes them to have a very overactive stress response when they are finally in a safe environment. Sometime people feel as though they dissociate for no reason, others over things most would consider minor stressors, on top of the majors stressors that just come with life. Having an over active stress response like this can lead to dissociation disorders like derealization (feeling like the world around you isn't real) and depersonalization (feeling like you yourself are not real). These occur typically when someone lives in a state of dissociation more often than not but can also be used to describe the the sensation dissociation at any given time.

Feeling: This varies person to person/system to system. As previously stated you have the feeling of the world around you not feeling real and the feeling of you yourself not being real. You can also feel both of these at the same time which can be very disorienting. This can lead to struggling to follow conversations or can feel like you're half listening to someone but splitting with out actually splitting your attention externally. It can feel like playing a 1st person video game. It can also feel like not processing information in real time. Dissociation is basically a disconnect from your surrounding, mind, body, emotion, identity, and memories. Dissociation can look like any one of these things on it's own or in combination with another. For us it's typically an emotional dissociation rather than a personal or surrounding feeling. In moments of stress our emotions turn off and we don't really feel things as they happen. If we're lucky, only in hindsight can we break down what we were feeling if at all. This can look like no feelings period or being calm cool and collected only to breakdown later about the stress. For those of us who don't experience a constant state of depersonalization or derealization, dissociating can be easiest to identify after the fact. Dissociation can affect the memories of an event making them difficult to recall or align correctly, something you only notice after the event has passed and you try to recall it, or feeling your emotion switch turn back on and having everything hit you at once but only when you feel safe again, or tuning back into your surrounding and realizing you missed your bus stop. Dissociation can also feel inward. Like you are retreating into you mind. Things may feel far away or even sound far away. If you can hear your headmates talk in your headspace, dissociation can be retreating internally and being pulled into headmate thoughts or conversations. This is one we observe in our partner system. We'll be talking to them and we'll see their eyes glaze over or they don't response and when we grab their attention they'll say something along the lines of "people are being loud" or "people are having big feelings". This kind of dissociating is also what switching can feel like for some.

Look: Not all dissociation is visually identifiable but if it is it typically look like the person not moving, staring off into space, speaking but clearly internally preoccupied, confusion. They may look like they aren't listening or maybe they look a bit lost. They may have a slow response time or may lose track of their thoughts a lot. But for some, like us, they can just look "normal". Looking normal is a survival technique. Some people, like us, were brought up in an environment where fully checking out was not safe. Some people never disconnect from their surrounding because they had to be aware of everything around them all the time. This is valid. The brain is an amazing thing and is capable of multitasking even if that multitasking is being aware of your surroundings while also checking out from them. I do it all the time.

🛸Differences between Dissociating and: - Brain fog: Brain fog is just general confusion and slow thinking and processing. This typically come without feeling like the world or yourself isn't real or difficulty recalling the moments of brain fog or feeling disconnected from your emotions. If one prone to dissociation the feeling brain fog can lead to dissociating. - Being lost in thought: Being lost in thought can be a form of dissociation. However, there is planning your day and then theres dissociating about your day. Planning your day feels like your actively participating in it and dissociating about your day feels like your disconnected from it.

🛸I hope this was helpful! This is what we've gathered knowledge and experience wise on the topic of dissociation. If you have anything else to add pls reblog with your additions so people who need the recourse can see it! If you have any more questions about dissociation or if you need any clarification leave a comment or ask me directly!

REMEMBER: You're gonna be ok. You're gonna figure it out. Be kind and gentle with yourself and others. Asks are open. Have a nice day.

[doin-just-fine]

Hello, we’re a blog the posts, in depth, about our experiences as a system that exists outside the definition purposed by the DSM-V’s diagnostic criteria…

Ask us anything!!!

This blog exists to help other questioning systems that may not have a solid understanding of their experience and may also fall outside the DSM-V criteria.

Check out our posts! Usually we post on topics that come up for us in our life, but sometimes there isn’t much going on and we need some guidance on what to talk about!

We’d love to try our best to answer questions you have about your experiences, give advice, or clarify things about us in order to provide comparisons and answers to things you may be struggling with.

🛸I am still new to plurality myself so we may not have all the answers yet but if you ask something that stumps us we will make sure to think on it, do our research, and only answer it when we feel 100% confident with our results!!

No question is a bad question! Nothing is off limits! Ask away! It help us learn about ourselves as much as it helps you learn about yourselves/self!

[doin-just-fine]

Sooooo crazy to harbor hate for others when the point of life is literally reading books & learning the piano & appreciation of the body & being one w nature & sunset reflecting off bookshelves & laughing & friends & drawing & eccentric podcasts & music & WHIMSY

[doin-just-fine]

Note: If you are part of a system, it's ok to not know who you are in that system. It's ok to not know your name, what you look like, what you do and do not like, why you're there, what your purpose is, or anything like that. Clarity comes with time and getting to know yourself. 🛸I redo picrews every once in a while just to see where everyones at and heres a screen shot of three different picrew variations over the course of a year.

Not to mention that picrew was also updated a few times allowing for more options in later iterations.

Some of our changed were dramatic others were subtle: DoinFine🛸 realized that even though the body had long hair they actually see themselves with shorter hair. Summer🌾 pretty much nailed it on the second round but feels more like herself in the third one Cloud☁️ just gets more edgy and pale and loses some scaring we thought he had. and Bean🧸 didn't even have a first picrew cus we had no idea who Bean was.

Heres the picrew

You're gonna be ok. You're gonna figure it out. Be kind and gentle with yourself and others. Asks are open. Have a nice day.

[doin-just-fine]

The “Am I plural?” is a great resource for questioning systems!!!

collection of plural resources:

beginning:

What is plurality? (link)

Am I plural? (link)

New/Questioning system (link)

Plurality hub (link)

Plurality Resource (link)

guides:

Multiplicity links (link)

Healthymultiplicity (link)

DIS-SOS (link)

First person plural (link)

The plurality playbook (link)

Multiplicity database systemology (link)

New alter (link)

specifics:

System sources (link)

Resources for faceclaims (link)

System communication and journaling (link)

System internet safety (link)

Powertotheplurals (link)

System Comfort's plural resources (link)

Plurality resources (link)

Discussing dissociation (link)

Exploration into endogenic & non-disordered plurality (link)

Endogenic systems (link)

Endogenic systems new carrd (link)

Endogenic hub (link)

Tulpas and mental health (link)

The tulpamancy guide I wish I had (link)

Tulpanomicon (link)

Tulpia.io (link)

The chimera's library (link)

information:

The plural dictionary (link)

Plural terms (link)

Quick'n'dirty plural history (link)

Pluralpedia (link)

Multiplicity and plurality wiki (link)

Kinhost.org (link)

Tulpa.info (link)

Soulbonding info (link)

Soulbonding links (link)

services:

Simply Plural - alter logging & chatting (app & site)

Anytype - journaling (app)

Twinote - chatting (app)

Ifake - chatting (app)

Fortelling - system logging (app)

Notion - system logging, journaling, chatting (app & site)

Pronouns.cc - system logging (site)

Lighthouse - system logging & journaling (site)

Pluralkit - social bot (discord)

Tupperbox - social bot (discord)

Firefox Multiacc Extension - multiaccounts (extension)

Feedbro - multiaccounts (extension)

feel free to reblog with more resources, will update as new resources are found! last updated: Jul. 08, 2024