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Remus: the only place I would like to spend my entire life is next to you...

Tonks: Awwww Rem-

Sirius: Step aside bitch, he was talking to me!

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*Order of Phoenix*

Sirius: Knock Knock!

Remus: Not again- Who's there?

Sirius: Eye mist

Remus: Eye mist who?

Sirius: Eye mist u!

Remus:

Remus *internally*: my idiot's back!

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If the Marauders were a rock band:

James Potter: the one who writes songs + guitarist no. 1;

Sirius Black: Singer (high tones) + pianist or guitarist no. 2;

Remus Lupin: Singer (background) + helps James writing songs;

Peter Pettigrew: drummer + the one who writes melodies;

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*previously and briefly*

Remus betted McGonagall's humour is more toxic than Sirius'... James affirmed the opposite.

*in the afternoon - Hogwarts' yard*

Sirius: Oi professor, you look really KITTENish today!

Minerva: I think you are BARKing at the wrong tree, Mr. Black.

James *whispering*: Damn. No way, she knows about us being Animagus.

Minerva: of course I do, DEERie Mr. Potter.

Sirius:

James:

Remus: :)

Minerva: Black, Potter- did I get your tongues?

Sirius:

Sirius: This is so embarrassing-

Minerva and Remus: *toxic high five*

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Cat jokes

Sirius: Hey Minnie! Wanna hear a cat joke?

Minerva: Ugh, let's hear then.

Sirius: JUST KITTEN!

Minerva:

Minerva: DETENTION BLACK!

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Marlene: How's called an old snowman?

Lily: Dunno-

Marlene: ...WATER!

Lily:

Lily: Sirius ruined you.

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[In the boys' Gryffindor dorms]

Sirius *holding a cup of tea*: Oh c'mon Lils I know you fancy Prongs after all.

Lily: No I don't. Cos if I'd like him, I'd blush whenever he looks into my eyes, I'd mumble some words that don't make sense and then leave in a flash-

*James exits the bathroom wearing just a towel tied around his waist*

James: Oi Evans! What are you doing here?

Lily *blushing*: Uh- I- leaving- Merry Christmas! *leaving*

James: What- what did I do?

Sirius: *sips tea while smirking*

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🍋

Remus: My boyfriend taught me that when life gives you lemons all you have to do is throw them at Snivellus-

Remus: -but I think a lemonade won't hurt anybody!

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Muggle interview

Interviewer: Have you ever ride a horse?

Sirius: A horse? No, not my thing-

Sirius: -but a wolf... Lemme tell you!

Interviewer *internally*: how can someone ride a wolf?

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At some point:

James: I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes-

James *wiping fake tears*: -she hugged me.

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*Playing two truths one lie*

James to Sirius: c'mon Pads, you start!

Sirius: Alright then, lemme think... Uh, I got this! First, we don't have the same age- second, I'm not virgin and third, I am fabulously gorgeous.

Peter: It's not that difficult after all-

James: Indeed, we are both 16 of course!!

Remus: He actually borned in 1959

James: oh-

James:

Peter:

Sirius:

Remus:

The entire Gryffindor Coomon Room:

Dumbledore:

Minnie:

James: SKDJDKSK YOU TWO DID IT? WITHOUT EVEN WARNING ME??