dorianisreading

[dorianisreading]

icup lol

Wanted to make a "jon with lots of eyes" but just the pupils because I REALLY wanted to draw cool pupil

another version of the eyes (in the eyes sockets)

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why are people outside at the same time as me it’s my turn

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the feeling is mutual

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Not to start discourse but I will be forever mad that every time I go into the Goncharov tag I see people complaining that they watched the movie expecting a soft queer romcom about pure cinnamon rolls and instead they got a complex and violent film about deeply flawed people where everyone dies.

By all means, engage in fandom however you choose. But don’t blame the source material for not being consistent with some random fanon on tumblr. Kinda wild to get mad that the movie about violent, morally dark grey criminals has violence, crime and moral greyness in it. You know? Also, imho given the time this movie was made, the queer coding was daring; this is NOT an example of queerbaiting.

[dorianisreading]

but also if a novel like my dark vanessa gets hit with charges of “romanticizing” abuse like it in fact was there is like no point. you will never win on these grounds. you will never write the perfect text that is condemnatory enough for these bad faith actors while also managing to say anything true or real about lived experiences of sexual abuse. we’ve lost the game. because the true game is to just stop talking about, bury it, return it to the realm of the culturally unspeakable. the error is treating these people as if they have good faith concerns about the evils of csa and its fictional representation. and it makes them over-anxious and over-corrective. that might be the case for some. i do think it is when i am in a mood to be as generous as i should. but i think we need to seriously contend with the fact it’s certainly not all and many simply instinctually wish to shame any cultural representations of abuse out of public life for the same reactionary reasons that silence is always useful to those who want to commit violent sexual acts. we just claim it’s about “problematic representation” now instead of “decency”

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i love you queer horror. i love the understanding of tragedy that our community’s dealt with when we are so often sanitized into forgetting them. i love not sugar coating the horrors and I love the persistent hope that we will survive despite them. i love looking at a freakish creature on the screen who only desires to be understand and to understand itself and knowing what it’s really about. and above all else i love finding beauty in the monstrous and grotesque.

[dorianisreading]

One of my favourite things about the first book is that Murderbot looked at Gurathin and saw that hey, people can be introverted unsociable untrusting snarky assholes and still have strong social bonds and people who care about them, and then hated him so, so much

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i feel like something that's missing from some people's understanding of kink fiction and fantasy is, like... in fiction and fantasy, everything is in-scene.

when real people do kink in real life, you gotta do all that good out-of-scene stuff like discuss boundaries, set limits and expectations, check in with each other, do aftercare, et cetera et cetera et cetera... but in fiction, everything can be in-scene!

the people in that fanfic don't exist any more than, like, the make-believe sexy football star and make-believe sexy cheerleader in a couple's roleplay exist. that couple doesn't need to get into character and then pretend to be a sexy football star having an important consent conversation with a sexy cheerleader, because that's a conversation that's already happened out-of-scene and out-of-character. (i mean, if you're into in-character negotiations, chase your bliss.) when they're in that scene, they can just pretend to be a sexy football star having sex with a sexy cheerleader. that's okay.

so like. when fiction does kink in a way that would be unsafe or harmful irl... just keep in mind that you're not watching actual people neglecting check-ins or ignoring their set contract or genuinely harming each other. you're watching a scene without the behind-the-scenes bits, and that's okay.

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i love media that confidently spoils itself right from the start!!! i love when stories hold your hand, perhaps even look you in the eye, and gently say ‘this character is going to die. this relationship is doomed.’ but assure you that this is a tale worth hearing because it’s not about the what it’s about the how. yayyyy hehehe 💙

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Somehow it feels very fitting to me that I come back after months with pope posting, pfpfpfpf. I saw Conclave last week and I was zero prepared for the impact it left on me.

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"I need to put Jonathan Sims in Situations" - top things said both by fic writers and Elias Bouchard

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Peeling the lid off of a yogurt and it's a big spiral staircase going down forever

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"unalive" should just mean the opposite of undead. if undead means a dead thing thats alive, unalive shuld mean an alive things thats dead. no i dont have any examples. ☝️yet

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The trouble with chasing after recs for fucked up media is that a lot of allegedly fucked up media is enamoured with the idea of being fucked up, but it's not actually fucked up about anything. The form is there, but not the substance. However, there's no way to communicate this to anyone who doesn't already Get It without sounding like a maniac.

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rip magnus archives crew but I'm built different. if my boss was literally all-knowing and couldn't fire me, I'd be in his office all day asking him questions about everything. I wouldn't use google anymore. I'd be like "what's the rarest kind of tree frog" and he'd be like "shut up please shut up" but he'd tell me the answer every time.

and then I'd go home and immediately call him and be like "hey elias I forgot what time I put the burekas in the oven, how much longer should I leave them in"

and he'd be like "I hate you so much. you put them in 12:42. they should come out at 1:12"

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I'll be hosting my own kinktober, where the only thing allowed is two characters asking each other for consent to watch paint dry