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The Joxter

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Link running from something

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I did, it was not worth it.

but . . . what if i DID sell my soul for a bowl of pasta

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writing prompt idea:

you have the ability to appear completely innocent of any bad thing you may have done if you whistle a tune and look around and maybe lean on a wall or something. there's a catch though: you can't whistle. you just don't know how.

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saying “this bloodline ends with me” as if I don’t have three siblings 😫

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but . . . what if i DID sell my soul for a bowl of pasta

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a group of crows is called a murder, therefore any crow in a group is a murderer.

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when I was younger I used to describe animals I hadn't seen as combinations of other animals that I had seen but in the form of riddles.

for example:

"what has the ears of a rabbit, the body of a horse, the mane of a zebra, and the tail of a bull?" with the answer being donkey.

"what has the body of a seal, the legs and tail of a beaver, and the beak of a duck?" with the answer being platypus.

looking back at it now I don't know why I did this.

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Listen up!

You see a post like this? Where OP might hurt/kill themselves? You hit that button that I circled

Hit that.

Click Suicide or Self-harm Concern

Yes.

Fill in the rest of it, and hit submit. The "content you reported" will fill itself in

Tumblr will follow up and help them.

Warning: this is only for mobile. If anyone knows how to do this for desktop, please add it!

This could SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.

YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO REBLOG THIS.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT DOESN'T GO WITH YOUR BLOG'S THEME.

And yes, REBLOG. Liking does no shit at all. This isn't ig.

You reblog, people see it. You don't, people don't see it. This shit's that simple.

This could save someone's life. It's not a joke.

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Egg

egg

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reblog if you’re asexual, support asexual people or really really want a crossbow for literally no reason.

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Story time

I was at the park and just hanging out, sitting in the shade, wandering around aimlessly. You know, regular park stuff. I decide to walk over to a memorial that's of to the side.

It's for a breakfast restaurant or something that had burned down, so it has a statue of a chicken that had been outside of said restaurant.

The chicken is in a box that is Gaurded by metal bars to prevent vandalism.

As I'm standing there, reading the signs on the side of the box a memory hits me. I used to go to this place with my grandmother.

I mumble something about remembering the restaurant. Right after I say my thing a little boy (5-6ish I'm guessing although I have no idea) comes up to me and says "it's called a chicken".

I, just having noticed the child that had snuck up behind me, was quite startled. I look down at this random child that has come up to me and say "yup, that is a chicken."

then the kid, who is now staring at the statue, asks " how did they get it in there?" And waits for me to respond.

Mentally I'm fighting between telling the child it's a statue or making up something strange.

I, with my impeccable moral code and not at all shambled thought process manage to come up with "they captured it." And walk away before I can think of anything else to say.

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This exact holiday combo post can only happen once every 33 years.

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Source

Video of Tama

Follow Ultrafacts for more facts

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Humans are space orcs- losing teeth

A: Human, why is that human youngling sticking their fingers into their oral cavity?

H: Oh, they're just trying to pull out their tooth.

A *bewildered*: Excuse me, I think I may have misheard you. Did you really just say that the youngling is trying to *rip out*their own teeth?!

H: . . . Is that weird?

A: ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THAT ANY OF THIS IS NORMAL?!