drownedindeniall

[drownedindeniall]

Its like the 80’s all over again, a remorseless madwoman runs the UK, a maniacal bastard runs the US, the world’s on the brink of nuclear war and all I want to do is listen to synthpop

[drownedindeniall]

me, bursting through your bedroom wall in a shower of dust: bUT that hug before they go onstage is what we’ve always wanted from One Direction, and that’s what makes them unsustainable as a phenomenon. What we always wanted from them was what they did not give to us intentionally

you: wh

me, briskly removing my shoes and shaking fragments of rubble out of them: One Direction is perhaps the first band to exist entirely within the Panopticon, from the very beginning, and yet even that was not enough for us. Can you imagine how difficult it would become to hold onto a “self” when what people want most from you are the moments of your life that specifically are NOT FOR THEM? It wasn’t just what they DID, we wanted to know what they FELT, constantly. We demanded to know but we did not want to be TOLD. The knowledge could only be “authentic” if it was not meant for us

you: why are you in my house

me, climbing into your bed and pulling your blankets up to my chin: The endless “documentaries,” the social media – we had an unprecedented, and unprecedentedly intimate, degree of access to these people, and still what we valued most were secrets and accidents. What we wanted was their interiority, and when we could not have that we invented it. Wouldn’t you resent having to constantly be GRATEFUL for that grasping, rapacious love? I would

you: are you crying?

me: We wanted to love them by devouring them, and now we have nothing to eat but our own hearts. can you bring me a hot water bottle

[drownedindeniall]

no matter what we’ll do after this, we’ll never ever beat this

yeah, but isn’t that scary?

[drownedindeniall]

You were GONE and Niall was covering Springsteen and fucking u2 and sound checking shit on our dream cover ask-a-thon from 100 years ago and you weren’t here and I had no one to rejoice with. I know shit happens I just want you to know you were missed and remembered at random points since you ghosted just like “omg does she know did she hear did it live up to expectations?” Etc etc

I KNOW I know the cruelest twist of fate is Niall going brunette AND covering Dancing in the Dark only AFTER I have moved on and committed a GROSS dereliction of my duties. 

BUT, I saw him cover Dancing in the Dark with my own eyes a week ago and it was wonderful and perfect and maybe the best thing I’ve ever heard. Like I knew he was playing it but I was not PREPARED.

Anyway I’m OUT HERE I’m just ethereal now. 

[drownedindeniall]

“We’re Moron”, Flicker World Tour Auburn 08/02/18

[drownedindeniall]

you're back!!!! i kept checking in every so often on this blog but each time it was password protected.... I'm so glad you made it public again so I can re-read some of my favourite insights of niall + 1d that you have written! thank you

Thanks bub! I got squirrelly for a while because the world suddenly felt TOO SMALL but also WHO CARES. I don't like the feeling of locking this thing up... I know people will probably want to poke around sometimes and I don't want to take that away from them

[drownedindeniall]

okay so thanks for making me cry on my desk this friday morning. i will do my work listening to fool's gold on repeat now and i will stand by your side with all i have when you sue him.

It's okay he tempered the seriousness by dragging us all really hard for singing the chorus off key. It was actually very sweet? Have you seen Nanette? It was the thing she talks about where you go on stage and you build tension and then cut it with a punchline. Like he knew people would be fucked up by what he was doing and wanted to give them a little release valve. He's a very good boy and he knows what he's doing.

[drownedindeniall]

Dancing In The Dark, Flicker World Tour Auburn 8/2/18

[drownedindeniall]

Flicker World Tour Auburn - 02/08/2018

[drownedindeniall]

Do you know where i canfind your old answers?

GOOD QUESTION. I was never great at consistent tagging but I think tagged/anon will get you a lot of them. HI.

[drownedindeniall]

Haha the part where his whole band left the stage and he played fool's gold alone was fucked up and I'm suing

[drownedindeniall]

k we flexed and got our tickets for tomorrow night, time to see my irish golf dad classic rock uncle son

[drownedindeniall]

is lesbian bed death real

NO

[drownedindeniall]

niallhoran: SYDNEY 🇦🇺 📸 @gleesonjess

[drownedindeniall]

Curled up with my head on your chest It’s the best remedy for the pain and the stress If the world doesn’t change then we’ll never get dressed

“The only ziall headcanon I have is them laying in bed and Zayn carefully showing niall R&B track after R&B track or or playing Jhené Aiko’s entire discography as niall falls in and out of sleep and Zayn strokes his hair…”

- likeliterallydead, who is trying to ruin my life

[drownedindeniall]

Flicker World Tour Manchester 03/16/18

[drownedindeniall]

@carazuri and @wickershire were in my living room and at my neighborhood bar like an hour ago and are now heading to see a sentient organic cinnamon bun play a concert and are sleeping on my couch bed tonight and it made me nostalgic and reminded me that I miss you guys and want to say hi. HIIIIIII I LOVE YOU.