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Archie had been in a rather excellent mood (much cheerier than usual these days), so of course, what better activity was there to celebrate his good spirits than bother Maxie? Though the Magma base always had its ways of making sure Aquas stayed out, Archie had always been able to sneak in somehow, to his amusement. Readying a list of insults in his head as he entered Maxie's office, he was prepared to put on a nice, incredibly irritating show for the redhead.

"Maaaaxie!" He yelled as he went in to the office. "Guess who's come to play?! I bet you missed..." He stopped. Who was this? A woman with hair the shade of Maxie's was at his desk instead, oddly enough in his uniform...

Archie was speechless for a moment as, whoever this chick, asked him who he was. "Who am I?" He snorted. "A better question is, who the hell are you?" He went up to the desk, smirking. "You must be pretty new here, cause otherwise you'd know exactly who I am." He drummed on the desk. "Look, lady, I don't know what you're doin' in your leader's office, but could you find Maxie for me please? Tell him Archie's here to play with him, won't ya?" 

Drowninglands has entered Maxie’s Pad.

Team Aqua? In HER pad?! Who the hell let that happen?! The female growled and stood from her desk, sending her chair to slam against the wall. “Excuse me, what is your business here Aqua?! Who are you?”

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magmaleadermaxie:

"I wouldn’t be surprised if you did." He’s trying his best to not burst out in laughter in front of his archenemy… maybe he should. It’s Archie, after all. The one who constantly picks on him whenever he gets the chance, the one whose arrogance goes beyond common sense, his ego inflated by seeing Maxie’s rage building up inside him. 

But he’s not Archie. Oh no, he has much more class than the pathetic Aqua leader.

Smirking, he goes to the entrance of Team Aqua’s HQ cautiously, expecting a trap of some sort - he still hasn’t forgotten who he is dealing with - but it seems like Team Aqua still haven’t notice his presence. “Wet ‘N’ Wild.” He speaks in a monotonous tone and the gate opens with a creak, confused grunts glaring at the Magma leader as he finally enters. His own eyes are only focused on the stairs which leads to Archie’s office, so he goes there, ignoring all the suspicious looks behind his back.

The door is already open and he wastes no time in entering the - much larger, to his distaste - office and making himself comfortable on the couch. “You promised me booze, Archie. What are you waiting for?”

Archie almost falls out the window after that last comment, then growls and goes inside, slamming the window shut. Letting Maxie see his weakness certainly made him one of hell of a smug asshole...

He waits for Maxie to come to the office, which won't take too long, as he'd turned off most of those damned teleporting tiles long ago (after that incident with the peanut butter and those four naked grunts...) Without really thinking about it, he pulls off his bandanna and gives his hair a quick brush through with his fingers, and throws the cloth on his desk. For no reason of course, other than the fact that he'd probably remove it anyway when he started getting tipsy.

When Maxie comes in and settles on his couch--"Like he owns the fucking place...the bastard..."--Archie goes to his desk and opens the drawers, most of which contain a bottle or two. 

"Calm your fucking tits, red." He growls, putting them all in his arms and carrying them over to the Magma leader. "Here. I got rum. I got vodka. I got brandy." He looks through the bottles. "More rum. And more rum. Oh, and this." He holds out a bottle covered in dark paper. "Sake. I didn't buy it for you, obviously. But I've heard how much you love it so I decided to give it a try." Archie snorts. "And you have shit taste." 

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pro: i'd manage gettin close to matt's room probably cons: i'd be stuck with you

"Excuuuse me? That’s fuckin’ rude! Who would even pick Matt over me anyway…? I mean, uh, he’s a great guy, but…What the fuck?"He runs to Matt’s room and locks and bars it. If Matt is truly now more popular than him, he must be stopped. Archie has seen what power Matt holds and knows that, for his own sake, it must be contained…

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pro: hot as lava cons: ends relationships very badly

"Yeah baby you know it!" "…"

"…That, anon, isn’t really a con, cause I don’t do relationships. I learned a long time ago that stickin’ with fucking is the best way not to get hurt. So really, it’s a pro, isn’t it?” 

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pro- he probably has great endurance and a great body con- hes probably really sweaty and smells like fish

"Hehe. You’ve got that pro right on. I’ve got fantastic endurance and well, the body goes without sayin…!"

((MUN INTERRUPTION: Archie actually is reaLLY bad at endurance. He loves coming as fast as possible. That being said he’s made up for that by being really good at getting hard again quickly.))

"An’ I wouldn’t say that! Yeah, maybe I get a little sweaty, but I think that really adds to my raw sexual appeal."

"I hope I don’t smell like fish, though…geez…”

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Send me one pro and one con you could see with having sex with my character.

(anons welcome)

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Archie opens and closes his mouth like a Magikarp, Maxie's condescending tone hitting him right in gut, mostly because Maxie...is right. Right now, he is lonely. And he hates that.

He fishes his brain for some sort of comeback, but comes up empty of anything. Not only is Maxie seeing him during a vulnerable time, but the Aqua's leader's usually unlimited arrogance seems to have jumped ship as well. Perfect. 

Archie swallows and grips the windowsill. "JUST COME UP HERE, OKAY?" He goes back into his office, then pokes his head out once again. "It's not like I'm gonna make a rope with my bandannas for you to climb on, so you'll have to come through the front entrance."

"And the password is...uh..."WET 'N' WILD"..." 

Maxie quirks an eyebrow suspiciously, clearly noticing the insults which never came out from Archie’s lips. However, the situation is too hilarious to be put aside and he chooses to ignore the pirate’s bad intentions. 

"Look, Archie, you don’t need to explain yourself, we both know you are lonely and willing to bring even Giratina to your own HQ. And yet, you sound so pathetically desperate it’s hard to decline this offer of yours." A smug smile appears on his face, feeling accomplished of seeing Archie is such a fragile moment. "Besides… it’s been a long time since I had a nice drink." His voice is soft, almost as if he’s speaking to a child. Noticing this he laughs internally, amused by the look on Archie’s face.

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Archie nearly jumped out of his skin when the PokeNav let out an angry buzz. He closed his eyes, took an enormous drag from his joint, and looked at the screen. 

Maybe it was text from someone else. Maybe the message had failed and been sent back. Maybe...no, this was bad. 

"Pray this wasn't sent by you," Archie read out loud, mind buzzing foggily, "or...I...will...end...you." His breathing quickened, the paranoia from the weed mixing with his own absolute embarrassment and sense of how very fucked he was. 

What was he supposed to do now? He got up from his bed and went over to the window, looking out at the sea, half-expecting to see the redhead's pasty face squished against the glass. Nothing yet, thank Arceus.

"Maybe I still have time..." the Aqua leader muttered, going back to the phone. Of course, if he just apologized the Maxie, maybe it would all be fine? Right? Right?

His thumbs sped against the keyboard, stoned fingers jumbling up the words a bit but still getting the message across. 

[txt] so sorrry yeah its' mme but it waS A BIG MISTAKE i wasn't rtrying to tezt you. Don't l,ose your temper okay? i fucked up. I'm owning what I did, so you dont have to get pissed off

[txt] I hope your rocks are doing well good night

[txt] :D

He threw the PokeNav on the bed and started pacing, playing with his beard as he waited...

Smoke and Mirrors

The sudden ding was an unpleasant distraction, but wasn’t enough to have Maxie stand and pull the blasted device out of his pocket.

He was far too tired to deal with anything right now, and it was far too late for him to care.     What time was it, anyway? The hands and the numbers on his watch were far too small for him to make out.

     It was probably late, though- -specially because there was a lot less scotch in the bottle than what he last remembered.

What…. had he been doing again? Oh, right. Reading.     Or, at least, trying to.

Going through books and newspapers had slowly become a tedious activity, and he oh so rarely tried to tackle anything that implied sitting in silence while concentrating on a sinlge thing-     He had lost that ability a long time ago. But… for some reason, there he was. Sitting on a bench under a lamppost with a newspaper next to him.

    Unable to sleep, to tired to go on with his walk, and too drunk to read.

A long sigh left him as he stood and pulled out the nav out of boredom.     Might as well check, right? The unrecognized number left him wondering for a second what the hell was going on, but then something in the back of his head clicked and suddenly his hand was clutching the device a bit too tightly- only to send it flying a second later.

    “That fucking piece of SHIT!!”

Was this a fucking joke? Was it? Because he sure as fuck wasn’t laughing!

He walked perhaps a bit too quickly to where his now broken pokenav had landed, knowing for certain that he’d gladly live without the damn thing- but he was surprised to see that the fall had done little to nothing to it. And while for a moment he was tempted to step on it and destroy it, he thought that maybe destroying the sender first would be better.

[TXT] pray this wasn’t sent by you because if it was I WILL END YOU 

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Archie, if you even turn into a woman, expect me to be the first one to knock on your door holy hell

"Well, I’ll be lookin’ forward to that, anon—if it ever happens—that is."

"Of course, you can always come knockin’ on my door now. I’m sure being a dude isn’t gonna change the fact that worth a "holy hell"…" 

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someone has to ask this at some point so might as well get it over with. do you like/love/are you attracted to maxie?

Archie cringes at the question…how is he supposed to answer that, especially now, when he’s not able to lie? Then, he grins wildly."Yep!" His eyes are wild. "I bet you thought I’d have to admit somethin’ right? But y’know, you’ll never know what that "yep" was for. I could like him—as human being—, I could love him, I could be attracted to him, but you’ll never know which, will ya? So HA. HA. HA!"

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someone has to ask this at some point so might as well get it over with. do you like/love/are you attracted to maxie?

Archie cringes at the question…how is he supposed to answer that, especially now, when he’s not able to lie? Then, he grins wildly."Yep!" His eyes are wild. "I bet you thought I’d have to admit somethin’ right? But y’know, you’ll never know what that "yep" was for. I could like him—as human being—, I could love him, I could be attracted to him, but you’ll never know which, will ya? So HA. HA. HA!"

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and who'd you call, archie?? matt?? aahahahahAHAHAHAHA oh i crack myself up

"I’d call some o’ my lady friends of course!!! And maybe Matt too…" He claps a hand to his mouth. Arceus, not again…he was telling the truth nonstop again? Dammit. His hand flies away as he continues to babble. “Hell yeah, I’ll get all kinds of people to poke at my new body. Matt, Vince ‘n’ Tony…forget I said that, please.”

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i know i’m a random person but your last anon reminded me of that pic i found  long ago somewhere online

((Ahhhhh yes!!! Thanks for submitting that cause yEP that's a great FemArchie picture!))

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On or off anon, tell my character something they do not want to hear and watch them react.

Points if you make it ultra relevant to my character, you special stalkers, you!

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TRUTH SERUM! if you were a chick for a whole 24 hours, what would you do?

"Hehehe…interestin’…well, firstly, I wanna thoroughly try out the equipment, if ya know what I mean…maybe invite a friend to help…ehe." 

"I think I’d take a hell of a lotta selfies too. Cause you and I both know, I’d be hot as fuck. And I could save those pics for later use…what, lovin’ yourself comes first, baby!" 

"Maybe, I’d end the day dressing myself up and going out or somethin’. Go into a bar and try to do some karaoke. Weird one, isn’t it? But I’d kinda wanna see how it would be to sing like a chick…"

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Archie is still hanging over the windowsill, figuring he might as well continue moping here, as there's nothing better to do. when he hears a very familiar voice. That voice. He slowly raises he head and looks down to find the redhead below him on the side of the HQ. Damn...Maxie is here...and not only that, but he's surely just witnessed Archie's embarrassing excuse for a soliloquy...yep, the smirk confirms that. 

"Maxie!" Archie says, much louder than intended. To be honest, he's kinda excited to see the other leader. At least somebody was there. But he's not going to ever admit that. He clears his throat and tries again. "Maxie. Heh, surprise? You're the one snooping around my base. Busy lickin' the sand around my HQ like some kinda..." He stops his insult mid-sentence. Making Maxie angry probably won't help his situation. "Look, uh...you heard the speech." He looks away and then back at Maxie. "I got a box full o' booze if ya wanna come up and uh...share it with me." He growls. "BUT IT'S SHITTY STUFF SO IT'S NOT LIKE THIS IS SOME SORTA FRIENDSHIP BULLCRAP!"

A pale hand covers his mouth, muffling his laughter as he watches the other leader whining lamentably. Pathetic, he thinks, eyes locked on the man he once called an enemy, yet… after listening to his wretched little speech he couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. Of course he doesn’t care nor intents to help the damn pirate, but he’s also bored out of his mind - that’s why he decided to take a stroll in the first place - and a few drinks seemed like a good idea. He needs some good old sake, anyway.

"Hello, Archie. What a pleasant surprise." 

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MUSE IS UNDER TRUTH SERUM FOR ONE HOUR. ASK ME ANYTHING. NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS AND EVERYTHING MUST BE ANSWERED.