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Cosmere Characters Who Would Do Surprisingly Well on Other Cosmere Planets

As requested by anon (who also provided the first joke in this list). :)

[Contains spoilers for Mistborn Era 2 and for Wind and Truth!]

1. Shallan: Huge Success on Threnody

After all...she can't make fire.

2. Moash: Huge Success on Era 1 Scadrial

With that Crystal Crown of Hemalurgy, he's clearly the king of the Inquisitors!

3. Wayne: Huge success on Lumar

He already has experience on ships prone to exploding (I'm sorry)

4. Sazed: Huge success on Nalthis

I just think Sazed should get to visit a planet where he can actually interview the gods about their own religions, as a treat.

5. Ulaam: Huge success on UTol

So many limbs he can bargain for! An excuse to wear all his extra arms! A match made in heaven, really.

6. Tress: Huge success on Taldain

Tress is listening like, "Ocean of sand rather than water? Use these vines as a water source? What's weird about any of that?"

7. Lift: Huge success on First of the Sun

I think she'd adopt ALL of the chickens.

8. Siri: Huge success on Roshar

I mean, all the other protagonists from Warbreaker are already on Roshar--why not Siri too?

9. Adolin: Huge success on Era 2 Scadrial

Adolin shows up on a giant horse with a giant sword and he is instantly the coolest samurai cowboy on Scadrial.

10. Kelsier: Huge success on Sel

A planet you might die and then be locked inside a giant, mysterious city where you have to survive post-death? Kelsier's gonna be king of Elantris in like three hours.

11. Shallan & Adolin: Huge successes on Komashi

Bi4Bi on the Bisexual Planet? Instant success.

12. The Stick: Huge success on Canticle

Even the sun can't make this stick fire.

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Coming across world hoppers in the cosmere is so funny because they'll be like "People here are so weird about women's hands. You should be normal about it, like me." But then they're like "Where I'm from we eat metal and worship a serial killer."

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I’m shocked at how many people are reacting to the Tucker-Cruz interview by saying that asking “what is the population of Iran?” is some kind of meaningless trivia question that it shouldn’t be seen as embarrassing for Cruz to not know.

For fuck’s sake. Every adult citizen of a democratic society should be expected to know a ballpark estimate of how many people live in most of the world’s countries. At least within an order of magnitude.

If hearing an incorrect statement like “Barbados has a population of 45 million people” or “Indonesia has a population of 8.3 million people” doesn’t immediately strike you as wildly implausible, you are ignorant of the world in many fundamental ways and should be slightly embarrassed about that.

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Groudon and Kyogre: *trying to murder each other*

Rayquaza: Stop it! Don't you know that hatred is not the answer?!

Deoxys: That's right.

Raquaza: GET THE FUCK OFF MY PLANET YOU SPACE VIRUS PIECE OF SHIT!

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god that's so funny

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Two years after being tasked with commissioning a review of medical evidence surrounding gender-affirming care for trans youth, Utah’s own state health department has concluded that trans healthcare bans “cannot be justified.” The Republicans who commissioned the study aren’t too happy about it.

Back in 2023, Utah Governor Spencer Cox signed a bill that placed an indefinite “moratorium” on doctors prescribing gender-affirming care like hormone therapy and puberty blockers to trans youth. That bill ordered the Utah Department of Health and Human Services to compile their report in order to produce recommendations for the state government on whether or not to lift the moratorium.

This week, the department delivered their long-awaited, over 1,000-page report — which is dated August 6, 2024 — to Utah lawmakers. The report’s authors found that “the consensus of the evidence supports that the treatments are effective in terms of mental health, psychosocial outcomes, and the induction of body changes consistent with the affirmed gender in pediatric GD [gender dysphoria] patients.”

The authors added that “the evidence also supports that the treatments are safe in terms of changes to bone density, cardiovascular risk factors, metabolic changes, and cancer.” Trans youth who had received gender-affirming care were within the bounds of normal, non-pathological ranges for these conditions.

y’all this is huge. please don’t “water is wet” all over it! I understand that we all already know this… The point is that the world doesn’t know or care or believe and so these studies really fucking matter!

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DREDGE (FANART)

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Reading about Mao's time running China is just surreal. Hitler and Stalin feel like their mass killings come from sheer evil and indifference to life, but Mao starves ~30 million people to death out of apparently just sheer stupidity.

It's also odd because this seems to have squandered China's chance at becoming the most powerful country on Earth simply through compounding economic growth. If Deng-like policies had begun in the 1950s, and you didn't spend close to two decades doing retarded Mao shit, they'd be several times richer and more populous today, and more powerful to match.

Maybe they manage it regardless, but they definitely would've if not for Mao. If you're a nationalistic Chinese person Mao ought to be your Satan.

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Stormlight Characters vs. the Ship of Theseus Paradox

[This post contains jokes that are WAT Spoilers!!]

The "Ship of Theseus paradox" poses the following conundrum: If there's this ship, and gradually over time every single part of it is replaced, is the resulting vehicle still the Ship of Theseus, or is it something totally new? If Cosmere characters were posed this question, here is how they might reply!

1. Kaladin: Fighting for his life to relate it to Therapy somehow

Kaladin: W-Well, I would say that it's a good thing to gradually replace parts of you that are damaged with new parts that are not damaged. Kaladin: It's a way to get stronger, or else you won't be able to weather future storms. Kaladin: You're still you, though. The broken parts don't define you! Kaladin: [Looks hopefully at Szeth] Szeth: [With infinite weariness] Let me guess. I am the ship. Kaladin: Another win for Therapy!

2. Nale: Just kinda likes to argue

Nale: It is a different ship. None of the original material remains. Kaladin: But- Nale: If every time a board was replaced, it was used to construct another ship, and the two ships were placed side by side, would you say that they were BOTH the Ship of Theseus? Kaladin: Well- Nale: No. Because two ships cannot be one ship. That is not how counting works. Kaladin: ... Nale: I am so good at arguing. 

3. Nohadon: Oh, you know he's gonna relate it to a man's "journey"

Nohadon: Every experience we have changes us. Nohadon: Old beliefs are challenged, lost, and changed. Nohadon: In the end, if we've been deconstructed and rebuilt, are we still the same person? Nohadon: It is not for me to answer. Dalinar: ...You can answer it. We are literally posing the question to you in the hopes of receiving an answer. Nohadon: Ha ha! Nohadon: That's not how I roll. 

4. Dalinar: Takes the question personally 

Dalinar: No, it is not the same ship. And that is okay. Dalinar: It is okay if, at the end of your journey, you are a different man--I mean ship. Navani: Smooth.

5. Rlain: Takes the question personality

Rlain: We Listeners go out into the storm to change forms all the time. Rlain: We're still us.  Rlain: I don't see why it would be any different for a ship.

6. Shallan: Takes the question personally

Shallan: I think it's the same ship. Shallan: Even if you change everything about yourself to the extent that you are a different person, you are, simultaneously, still yourself. Shallan: Every new board is incorporated into the ship and becomes a part of it, even if they were once their own separate item. Veil: ...We love you too, Shallan. 

7. Renarin: Gives a conditional answer

Renarin: I mean...I think it depends on the timing? Renarin: If your ship goes down in a storm and you just build a whole new ship and give it the same name, I don't think anybody would say that's the same ship. Renarin: But if you replace a board every year or something, then I think it would be perceived as the same ship the whole time. Taravangian [suspiciously]: So you're saying that your answer depends on a future that cannot be predicted in advance? Renarin: I...guess? Taravangian: Hate that.

8. Honor: Gives the "practical" answer

Honor: At the beginning and at the end, it's still the ship of Theseus, right? Honor: Same ship. Possession is 9/10 of the law, after all. Odium: ...Sweet. Gonna hold you to that. Honor: FUCK

9. Rysn: Actually has a ship

Rysn: Of course it's the same ship?? Rysn: I get my boat repaired all the time--it's not like it ever ceases to be my ship. 

10. Jasnah: Knows where to look for the truth of things

Jasnah: There is a simple way to answer that question. Jasnah: Peer into Shadesmar at the soul of the ship. Jasnah: If it continues to think of itself as the same entity, then it is the same entity. Renarin: ...Simple? You are virtually the only human on the planet with this ability. Jasnah: I'll share my findings.

11. Wit: Takes a storyteller's view

Wit: If people call  it the Ship of Theseus & perceive it as the Ship of Theseus, that's what it is! Wit: Is it the original ship? Who cares! Wit: For once, originality is not the point.

12. Design: Takes a...mathematical (?) view

Design: The second that 50.000000001 percent of the ship has been replaced, it's different. Design: Math!

13. Moash: Is not a nice person

Moash: Don't care. Moash: Gonna take all of the old, broken parts that got thrown away and build a whole new ship out of those cast-off parts. Moash: Now *I* have the ship of Theseus. Kaladin: Just to be kind of a bastard? Moash: Just to be kind of a bastard, yeah. 

14. Navani: Takes a scientific view 

Navani: There is a theory that the matter that makes up our bodies is itself replaced constantly. Navani: Wounds close over--skin can grow. It must get replaced as it wears out.  Navani: The ship is the macro version of this. Even if bits of it get replaced, it's still the same ship. 

15. Adolin: Relates it to...recent experiences

Adolin: Here's what I think. Adolin: Let's say that you're in the army and you're trying to, I don't know, protect a dome for many days without reinforcements. Adolin: And everybody keeps dying and getting replaced by new soldiers, until you're having to bring in the elderly, the disabled, literally anybody still alive in the city just to maintain the pike wall. Adolin: It's! Still! The! Same! Army! Adolin: Same ship. Yanagawn: Are you...okay? Adolin: I might have trauma. 

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🖤🤎❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Happy Pride month! Be careful with passionspren, they're snitches! 🏳️‍🌈

From top to bottom, left to right: Venli, Moash; Kaladin, Leshwi, Elhokar; Rlain, Renarin, Adolin; Shallan, Jasnah, Wit; Mraize

π 🏳️‍🌈

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more of the stormlight archive!!

slave with seasonal depression and peppy voice in his head unionizes the soldiers and starts a morphene smuggling ring with his skills from dissapointing his parents and dropping out of medical school

newly crowned king, "plagued with visions" from a dead god, starts a religious revival despite not being able to read his religious texts

heiress's family is on the brink of bankruptcy, so she tries to commit theft of a nonexistent object and instead ends up in a top university position, all while going insane

professor is nearly assassinated with jam, and her student realizes her dead dad was probably a member of a cult based around flowers

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"overly high homework loads are a major cause of societal decline" has been one of my crank theories for years and it's good to see someone else believing it

A couple of years ago we were all terribly concerned about the fact that a lot of American high schools are assigning such crushing homework loads that some kids literally don't have enough time to eat or sleep (and all this in spite of the fact that there's no good evidence that assigning homework actually improves academic outcomes at the pre-university level), but now we're hearing stories about those same schools struggling to stop kids from using ChatGPT to write their essays and suddenly It's The Children Who Are Wrong. Like, do you think maybe there's a certain level of cause and effect in play here?

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Tumblr is the only place on the internet where I've witnessed genuine bigotry against atheists except for, like, r/christianity

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Is this a bad end AU?

Starting out Dracula season with my interpretations of the characters!