duritiarum-blog

[duritiarum-blog]

Why are you engaging with ghouls? Shouldn't you hate them? [ regarding Jura 8|C ]

@pellecebrae -♡ bc u were mentioned :^ )

“Is there a reason why I should hate them?”

A question was best returned with another question, he’s found. He has himself seated at his desk, one leg crossed over the other, and he’s writing onto a sheet of paper that, prior to, was already crowded with a plethora of words-- data of sort, but he didn’t find it necessary to discuss. 

All he does after his retort was stop, set his pen aside, and turn his head towards the curious, little visitor.

“I find ghouls to just be like you... or me, depending on what you truly are. It really doesn’t concern me.” His hands came to rest over his lap, folding nicely over one another quite nicely. “It is none of my business, so... how am I supposed to know whether one man is a ghoul or not?”

But he does know. He always knows, and it’s both a curse and a blessing.Ichiro, however, didn’t see it as either and, instead, saw it as another part of his job.

“Ghouls are only trying to live, are they not?”

(they have no choice but to survive, just as we.)

“I wouldn’t say I sympathize with them, but...”

He smiled, directing his head towards them in a small tilt.

“I’ve met more than a few to build up a résumé with them, and I’ve no complaints.” Maybe he did, but... maybe he truly didn’t. “It is a little bit silly to subject an entire group of individuals to prejudice just because of one bad experience, don’t you think...?”

Ah, but he recognizes why one would think that way.

Leaning into his seat, he straightened his back and turned away with that same, little smile on his lips. Peering out the window that was facing his desk, he gave a subtle roll of is shoulders as his raised foot began swaying idly-- up and down, as if tapping into the air.

“Although, I suppose you could apply that logic to me, as well... Do I really have the right to say such things if I’ve had one favorable experience?” he asked in a polite voice whilst raising one hand to almost casually nestle his chin into. It was beginning to rain, wasn’t it...? Ah, what a bother. “... Is this question about one particular ghoul, and you’re only trying to disguise it as about the collective?”

When sudden inquisitive accusation should have been plagued (practically decorated, adorned by scathing irritation...!) with some attempt of aggravation, Ichiro merely sat still with the same calm he’s surrounded himself with since he was a young boy. All that changed upon his features were his eyebrows lowering themselves, but even they did not seem willing to show any sort of strain.

To stress...? It just seemed so pointless.

“It’s okay if it is,” he said seconds later and laughed, a soft and short-lived sound. “I understand why he’d be a point of concern.”

(but he’s not.)

“He is not as cold as you’d want to perceive him.”

He returned to smiling, settling for gazing out into the world as he watched raindrops hit into the ground at a steady pace. He wondered if he could make it out of here before the weather turned itself into a storm, but he found it all too easy to doubt. The weather always had a strange sense of timing, forcing for Ichiro to stay indoors and subdue himself with nothing but monotonous work ethics.

“I suppose he is one reason as to why I do not look upon ghouls with an aloof eye... or even an ambivalent one,” he explained in gentle tones, shutting his eyes in the meanwhile. “He has treated me with a certain kind of... kindness that it would be ill-mannered of me to treat him any less.”

He goes through the various memories-- he remembered the timid, almost-kisses they shared in the eerie silence of his office. He remembered the idle ways they used to pass the silence-- fixing up one another’s ties, straightening out the wrinkles with light pats on the back, and letting the backs of hands slide along cheeks for, perhaps, a bit too long. He could recall the moments he looked upon fondly that others would have merely brushed as simple times-- how he was questioned about his sister and how his brief answers were accepted, just as they were; so, in return, Ichiro respected the other man’s choice of answering his questions regarding family.

It was all just so messy but so easy to tidy up. Ichiro’s found that life simplified itself when Jura was around and, while he did not want to cling onto it like a lost child... he did enjoy it one way or another. Easier it was than the usual to find serenity in otherwise aching silence, he wondered if he’s ever thanked Jura for his efforts.

“But it is unwise for me to fight his battles. I’m sure that I’ve come off as rude.”

Opening his eyes, he was greeted with the distant sounds of rain hitting harder and practically crashing into anything that was solid. He smiled, though, and turned in a slight spin from his chair. Reaching down, he plucked the sole umbrella by its handle out from a nearby bin. Instead of using it for himself, he offered it towards his guest.

“It looks horrible out there, and I don’t wish to keep you for any longer.”

“I’m waiting on one, last client anyway.”

[duritiarum-blog]

thompsonxxwitches‌:

     He doesn’t? Well, that’s normal humans for you. Always willing to avoid some form of appointment when they can. Sad yet also pathetic but who was he to judge right? Not like he stuck to going to doctors for anything. Not which he could deal with things on his own anyway. Not even his children had a doctor. What was the point when he was able to deal with everything with a single spell. 

   ”I see well I am not like your other clients so being late is not my way of going about my day.”

The early he is the easier he could go on with the rest of his day without problems of any kind. 

  ”Was it that easy to tell that I wasn’t?” 

“It’s good to be different,” he stated without a further push (he didn’t want to patronize, even if he already had neutralizing thoughts about the idea of individualism.), twisting his hand at the wrist to open the door and step aside. “It is whatever you want, however-- it makes no difference to me.”

Head gave a gentle nudge into thin air, Ichiro wordlessly gesturing for the other to walk in first. The lighting within the building was dull, somber, but calming. Within the room stood an empty desk with a lamp that flickered every so often.

Then he smiled.

“It’s only easy for me because I usually recognize something about everyone... Not you, though. Are you visiting or are you planning on staying?”

Hand raised away from door to gesture forward, the therapist tilting his head all the while with only skin deep politeness.

“If you could, as well... take a turn on the hall on your left. That’s my office.”

[duritiarum-blog]

I am you, and you are me.

[duritiarum-blog]

pseudogaiety‌:

             “ oh, no! not really. i’m not in any more of a hurry than i usually am, anyways. it feels like i’ve always got lots to do, you know? so i just tend to walk faster. time is money, or…o-or something–? ” she’s rambling because she feels embarrassed about stumbling and falling like a child. not that it wasn’t something she didn’t do often; she’s one of the clumsiest people around. taking a deep breath to steady herself and attempt to quell her nerves she gives a slow nod, smile weary but ever present. 

             she really just can’t stop embarrassing herself, can she?

             “ that…i’d really appreciate that, if you’re sure it’s okay, that is! i wouldn’t want to put you out any. if you’ve got somewhere to be i can just pick something up from the store! that or try to find something at home to use– ” rambling again? oh, you better believe it. she just feels so guilty.

“Mm, yes... That’s the correct saying-- “time is money”. A lot of people take it at face value, it seems,” he commented, expression and tone vague regarding his own feelings towards it. Momentarily, he takes his hand away from her’s after he was certain (he’s been certain for a while, but it didn’t hurt to double check, did it?) she wouldn’t fall over again. “If you have a lot to do, however...”

Opposite hand from earlier reached into his handbag, slipping easily under its opening flap as he peered down. A small smile kept itself on his lips all the while as he briefly rummaged.

“... I would feel rather guilty if I kept you for much longer,” he stated, seemingly ignoring her attempted assistance or insistence. It would only be commented upon after he unveiled a small tube (properly labeled, almost as if it were untouched.) and offered it towards her without raising his head quite yet. “I do have a place to be, yes, but it isn’t anywhere important.”

Hand gave a light flick of invitation for her to take the item (and keep it, if she so desired.) as he glanced up, offering forth a slightly larger smile.

“I buy these as a precaution for my own occupation, you see. I have no issue with it.” It was as if her rambling didn’t affect him at all. “In a way, this is normal for me.”

[duritiarum-blog]

cannibalesque‌:

The cup of coffee is welcomed, Shuu mumbling his thanks as he reaches for it.  The warmth is soothing, though startling hot against his ice-cold fingers.  It’s a welcomed shock, however.  Fingers tighten around the mug, almost to a breaking point, before relaxing.

A smile is attempted, and Shuu (for all of his care for his appearance) doesn’t care if it looks genuine.

“Ah, I’ve been better; but isn’t that the usual saying, hm?”  He pauses to take a sip of his drink, eyes falling shut against the swirling vortex of thoughts in his mind–none of them particularly pleasant.  It’s a cruel sense of irony, one as emotional and expressive as he being so incapable of talking about his innermost feelings and emotions.  A sigh is exhaled harshly as eyes flutter open once again.

“I… I don’t know what’s wrong exactly, other than the simple fact that something is wrong and I’m… pained by it.”

Ichiro seats himself across from Shuu, one leg crossing over the other (it’s almost a signature at this point.) as he rests hands politely over own lap. It was eerily tense, but it was also something that he knew would easily pass. Instead of prying, he simply sat in waiting and patiently listened.

“Mm.”

A sound of acknowledgement was all that was given, Ichiro’s eyes falling down towards his lap to further divert any potential tension. He’s seen the eccentric ghoul a handful of times (and he has no issue in counting these times within his head as he listens.) and, without fail, each session had a different flavor to it. Today, however... it was different in many ways.

“We will go through it-- one step at a time,” he states moments later, purposefully belated in giving commentary to allow Shuu proper berth in his dialogue. “Let’s start over, hmm?”

Now then does his head raise, attention settling on Shuu without fail.

“Perhaps... allow me to ask, have you changed your routines?”

[duritiarum-blog]

pellecebrae‌:

     ♤ How - inconvenient - he had to think: that snow would fall like it only addressed itself right now, slowly and lightly, but would [ soon enough ] turn into a storm none the like seen in such a long time. How - inconvenient - he was supposed to think: with a smile as amicable as it was ’truthful’ the doctor did not think any of it quite at all. If searching for a reason why his own expression was a tad softer, a spell brighter than only usual? They would not get an answer even if they pried more than only suitable.

    ♤ It was not for anybody else to know - but his own hands reaching out towards cup of fine porcelain, and that laughter that rises from the depths of throat.

    ♤ How unlike his very look and form his voice had not always been.

    ♤ “It would truly have been, so I thank you, my friend, for going out of your way to look for me.” Does Jura mean truthfully any that he speaks with the husky darkness of a fine and charming gentleness? [ Perhaps. ] “Alas, I am not in a hurry. Neither is my family, for I excused myself for a prolonged amount of time.”

    ♤ For how long? Nobody would need to know. “If there is any need-be, they can reach me easily enough~” Subtlety in the knowledge [ after all, they were like cat and mouse - or so they said ] and the sip he took was all the more languorous and light. Exhaling a breath a moment later to let the heat of drink warm him through. “You do not seem to be displeased that I will be stuck in here - with you - for a bit longer than anticipated~”

It’s easy for him to fake. It’s easy for him to mimic. But, he hasn’t deemed it as necessary to do so.

“Ah~ That is good then.”

Simple response for a simple explanation, Ichiro hardly thought it appropriate to pry and push further. Instead, he glances downwards towards his lap with eyelashes fluttering and limiting his sight briefly. Fingers curled meaninglessly within one another (driving themselves closer into one another, nestling into what little warmth he could offer towards himself.) as he listened with silent patience.

“As long as the power is not knocked out... we should be safe,” he uttered moments later, finding it hard to simply not keep Jura’s voice at the forefront of his mind. Shoulders gave a small, short shrug as he leaned more comfortably into his chair. “I find it very hard to be “displeased” when I am in good company.”

Simply just, Jura wasn’t an unnecessary component to Ichiro’s endless equations. Instead, he viewed him as a surprise-- a welcomed surprised, one that he saw as a mere addition. He wondered, if only briefly, if he and Mariko had met and then wondered what she would think of him.

“My only concerns would be my living conditions,” he started seconds later, huffing out a breathy chuckle as he simply ignored any personal desire for sustenance, “and if they were up to par for you.”

But he’s never been one to commit to pleasing another. In truth, he rather appreciated the lengths people would go for others.

“I enjoy spending time with you, Jura. I see no reason to find it, in any way, a hindrance.”

A pause for him to glance up, a sort of playful glint in his eyes. It lasted for but a few seconds before gaze grew lax, instead being replaced by distance and peaceful calm.

“Unless that is what you’d prefer.”

[duritiarum-blog]

inter-se-solus‌:

     ◆ Careful. Careful. Any wrong step could elicit someone’s absolute ruin brought forth by his very own hands - and do they not both know it? Are perfectly - painfully - aware of it~? He could have laughed about the very happenings right now and would only grin about the cautious play of syllables, now that the creator was even open for that talk taking place.

    ◆ Was even willing to listen to that obvious disaster brought down by his own iron grasp and the other’s willful movements to desire crushing punishment [ but was it true? was it correct? ]. So a hum was all he offered until words would settle upon tip of tongue. “Ah~ I do have a friend who holds all the knowledge I need.” A lovely little friend. A pleasant companion, being protected. Cherished. “She is quite eager to let me know this or that tidbit~”

    ◆ Playing even more. No distinct answer anybody could use, for himself is not compliant this time of the day. When hands tinker with items and materials in his grasp. “Why do you ask me that~? I have a mirror over there.” Oh, he could easily oblige to the needs and wants. “Or do you want me to explain it to you? The subtle horrors of nothingness engraved in your very facade? The way you look as soulless as some of my creations, only to be brought to life when I so very will it?”

    ◆ Now a single glance spared towards that little human. “You could make a lovely mask yourself, you know~”

“I am not a fan of mirrors, I’m afraid.”

He doesn’t bother to respond towards opposite’s answers immediately. It was something he had come to expect (a little friend. ichiro also had his own network. it’s how he found about hachiro in the first place.) yet felt it appropriate to ask regardless. To uphold the vague semblance of casual conversation, Ichiro was more than willing to engage in otherwise worthless, trivial discussion.

“However... I am impressed by her capabilities. It is not often that you come across individuals like that.”

To him, it felt more akin to small talk than anything else. He’s also never been a fan of small talk, either, though.

“I do not require an in-depth explanation, but if you so desire to-- I will not stop you.” Words were spoken with a sort of hidden grace, something that the therapist’s accrued as a skill over the years. He understood that he was no match for Uta and, as such, didn’t even try to pretend to act as such. “It is rare for others to see through me so quickly.”

What should have been a compliment sounded, instead, like a loose comment. Nothing more, nothing less. He couldn’t even muster the appropriate energy to engage in pretend games.

Expression grew lax for but a moment, allowing for Ichiro to assess the situation as it was-- not what he would expect it to be. He could recall the expression on Hachiro’s face as he spoke to him (dressed as mariko. telling him that he, speaking as her, wanted to love him. wanted to love him but he made it so hard--) with muted glory and dull pride (--because he hurt her. he should make it up, prove that he’s willing to do whatever it takes when, in the end, it wouldn’t even truly matter.) before he took the leap. It was ironic, Ichiro viewing it as a sort of... leap of faith before, finally, the roaring of tracks and screams of families crowded his ears.

Yes, he remembered feeling nothing and still feels nothing. Funny how, sometimes, things turned out to remain the same despite hard work.

“It is humorous that you believe you hold the complete rights over me and others. I can see why you’d think that way.”

Gaze raises to meet with Uta’s, returning with a look of his own that said nothing yet everything at the same time. Smile remained upon lips, though it was smaller than previous. Hands loosely held onto one another, the cuffs of his suit showing faint crinkles and wrinkles because of his fiddling.

“How fun would it to be to use me as a mask, I wonder? Would it not be boring to act as I do? Would it not be more amusing-- more bountiful and fruitful to wear the face of someone who can express and react?”

[duritiarum-blog]

@crudelibus - random starter brigade :^ )

“Hmm.” It was a simple noise, a soft hum as he kept his eyes low (not out of fear but, rather, because he feels it is not necessary to observe yet.) towards entwined hands upon his lap. “... If you do not mind me asking--” though, he knows it’s a potential for trouble but finds himself curious nonetheless, “--what is your relationship like with your superior? It seems... that you take to him when you have a want for comfort.”

Only then does he look up and offer forth a little smile.

“Does he aid you when these thoughts, these, hmm, moments occur?”

[duritiarum-blog]

Repost, Don’t Reblog !

tagged by: @breselin​ thank u mwah tagging: hmmmmmm. steal it

PLACE IN SOCIETY

♦ Financial : wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty / n/a ♦ Medical : fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged ♦ Class or Caste : upper / middle / working (outcast) / slave / unsure ♦ Education : qualified / unqualified / studying ♦ Criminal Record : yes / yes, for minor crimes  / no / has aided / committed crimes but not caught yet

FAMILY

♦ Marital status : married - happily / married - unhappily / engaged or betrothed / partnered / single / divorced / separated / widowed or widower ♦ Children : has a child or children / has no children / wants children / had a child ♦ Relationship with Family : close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased. ♦ Affiliation : orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent(s) / raised by others.

TRAITS + TENDENCIES

♦ extroverted / introverted / in between. ♦ disorganized / organized / in between. ♦ close minded / open-minded / in between. ♦ calm / anxious / in between. ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between. ♦ cautious / reckless / in between. ♦ patient / impatient / in between. ♦ outspoken / reserved / in between. ♦ leader / follower / in between. ♦ empathetic / apathetic / in between. ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between / realist ♦ traditional / modern / in between. ♦ hard-working / lazy / in between. ♦ cultured / uncultured / in between. ♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown. ♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown / depends on the person.

BELIEFS

♦ Faith : monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic / nontheistic / shinto. ♦ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. ♦ Belief in an Afterlife : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. ♦ Belief in Reincarnation : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. ♦ Belief in Aliens : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. ♦ Philosophical : yes / no.

SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION

♦ Sexuality : heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual / demisexual. ♦ Sex : sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable. ♦ Romance : romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable. ♦ Sexually : adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious ♦ Potential Sexual Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all. ♦ Potential Romantic Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all.

ABILITIES

♦ Combat Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none. ♦ Literacy Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ♦ Artistic Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ♦ Technical Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

HABITS

♦ Drinking Alcohol : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess / rarely. ♦ Smoking : trying to quit / never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. ♦ Other Narcotics : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. ♦ Medicinal Drugs : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. ♦ Indulgent Food : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. ♦ Splurge Spending : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. ♦ Gambling : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

[duritiarum-blog]

pellecebrae‌:

     ♤ Living with the subtlety of want for danger, was he not? With how he met [ by now even regularly ] with that very specific man. Would spend a considerable amount of time with him, much to displeasure of those that would usually be sent to make sure that the doctor wouldn’t do anything - hasty. Wouldn’t do anything so truly, utterly - perilous. And yet? It were mere meetings between two men slightly interested in one another beyond the means and makings of what they both truly were [ no? was it only that? or something more? ]. So as if to underline all that, slender form steps forward towards his current companion.

    ♤ Gloved hand reaching out and trailing along the hem of shirt so dissolute in uproar. “Ichiro, come closer for a moment.” Were they not far too close? Speaks and knows it would be complied [ or not~? ]. “You should have your attire fixed, let me do it~"          || @duritiarum  ♡~ 

“--Oh?”

He believed that he has been running around (or not. it’s a mere exaggeration, is all. he has been rather busy today, though.) for a majority of the day that it was simply impossible for him to notice the minutely sorry state his appearance was in. It was hard for him to run ragged, to barely be able to catch a breath, and to feel truly exhausted.

So when an offer (a particular one. he always appreciated when others took the initiative in conversations. it aided him more than what they thought it could.) was extended, he merely stepped forward-- doing as he was told without further complaint. The only semblance of acknowledgement he had regarding it all was a small gesture.

“Thank you, Jura.”

One hand raised, loosely curling fingers around thin wrist of other male’s in modest form of acknowledgement. He lets him perform the task at hand, gaze falling down to watch with dull appreciation.

“I wonder what I’d do without you,” he mused aloud, masterfully shameless and playful at the same time. “Out of curiosity... Is the suit to your tastes otherwise? I never had an eye for the latest, hmm, fashion trends. Mariko’s always offered me suggestions, instead.”

[duritiarum-blog]

can i exist / missio

[duritiarum-blog]

Grain – Kuniaki Haishima – Monster Opening

[duritiarum-blog]

"will you play for me, ichiro?" a gentle question, spoken in a soft, hushed tone (always the quiet one, mariko was; it was a surprise to everyone that she even uttered a /sound/ after the murders), comes from behind him. she looks as if she hasn't slept in days, though she always has seemed to have that frail, exhausted look about her. she doesn't outright state what's wrong, instead pleading for something louder than the noise that's inside her head. "something from the romantic era, maybe?"

Figure doesn’t stir at the question, nor does he shift when he immediately registered the source. Hands rested peacefully upon keys (perhaps he had been expecting her. this was usually around the time of day she’d come to him. he appreciated it.) as soon as the inquiry had touched the open air, Ichiro himself about as still as a statue. He waited and waited, patient as ever with her hesitations and her reluctance.

Of course, he already knew what she must’ve looked like. Admittedly, it was difficult to pain him, but he knew… he knew that if he had turned to look at her?

“Ah…”

He might’ve felt his heart twitch with a certain kind of dull ache.It had always been Mariko (his dear sister. his better twin.) that incited these unpleasant feelings within him.

But it does not deter him. It does not have cause for him to hate her but, rather, serve as a reminder for him to protect. Protect, protect, protect.

“Come.”

He’s managed to sound both firm yet peaceful in his words, furthering his intentions by scooting closer to the rightmost edge of his stool. It was wide enough to fit two (it was typical in design, but he liked to think that it was made with intentions of bonding. perfect for any situation.), and the therapist briefly wondered if it could ever be what it once was.

(the two of us… as children. we used to drum nonsensically on this.)

One hand quietly dropped away from large instrument, patting now open spot besides him as wordless invitation for her to join him. As such, he waits and waits–

“I have several in mind, but maybe it would be better if you rest,” he offered towards her in the form of humble suggestion, not minding whatever it is that she, truthfully, chose to do. “My shoulder is always free– it does not mind being leaned upon.”

Nonetheless, he does begin to play with fingers lightly pressing down on keys. There was no sheet full of notes to be found (he’s done this one a handful of times. any sorts of mistakes could easily be recovered from. he liked to improvise, anyway.) in front of him, and no mention was made of this peculiar detail. 

“Ave Maria… You like this one, don’t you?”

After wards, he would fall otherwise silent with smallest of smiles gracing his lips.

[duritiarum-blog]

[duritiarum-blog]

@cannibalesque - 📝

“How are you feeling today?” he asked, inquiry coming almost naturally as he sets steaming cup of coffee on table next to his client. “I have no other clients today, so we can make this as long as you want.”

[duritiarum-blog]

ichiro has a very soft voice. he almost always has complete control over the tone, the volume, and the particular feeling he wants for his voice. as such, he does not mumble nor murmur unless he chooses to. he’s very soft-spoken and articulate, always polite and well-mannered. his voice could be compared to that of someone that’s usually a bit too quiet for their own good and, as such, has taken advantage of this before-- to benefit him and devalue others but to also benefit others yet purposefully devalue himself.