#j&i. ♦ why are you standing here alone and in front of the gates?

[duritiarum-blog]

Why are you engaging with ghouls? Shouldn't you hate them? [ regarding Jura 8|C ]

@pellecebrae -♡ bc u were mentioned :^ )

“Is there a reason why I should hate them?”

A question was best returned with another question, he’s found. He has himself seated at his desk, one leg crossed over the other, and he’s writing onto a sheet of paper that, prior to, was already crowded with a plethora of words-- data of sort, but he didn’t find it necessary to discuss. 

All he does after his retort was stop, set his pen aside, and turn his head towards the curious, little visitor.

“I find ghouls to just be like you... or me, depending on what you truly are. It really doesn’t concern me.” His hands came to rest over his lap, folding nicely over one another quite nicely. “It is none of my business, so... how am I supposed to know whether one man is a ghoul or not?”

But he does know. He always knows, and it’s both a curse and a blessing.Ichiro, however, didn’t see it as either and, instead, saw it as another part of his job.

“Ghouls are only trying to live, are they not?”

(they have no choice but to survive, just as we.)

“I wouldn’t say I sympathize with them, but...”

He smiled, directing his head towards them in a small tilt.

“I’ve met more than a few to build up a résumé with them, and I’ve no complaints.” Maybe he did, but... maybe he truly didn’t. “It is a little bit silly to subject an entire group of individuals to prejudice just because of one bad experience, don’t you think...?”

Ah, but he recognizes why one would think that way.

Leaning into his seat, he straightened his back and turned away with that same, little smile on his lips. Peering out the window that was facing his desk, he gave a subtle roll of is shoulders as his raised foot began swaying idly-- up and down, as if tapping into the air.

“Although, I suppose you could apply that logic to me, as well... Do I really have the right to say such things if I’ve had one favorable experience?” he asked in a polite voice whilst raising one hand to almost casually nestle his chin into. It was beginning to rain, wasn’t it...? Ah, what a bother. “... Is this question about one particular ghoul, and you’re only trying to disguise it as about the collective?”

When sudden inquisitive accusation should have been plagued (practically decorated, adorned by scathing irritation...!) with some attempt of aggravation, Ichiro merely sat still with the same calm he’s surrounded himself with since he was a young boy. All that changed upon his features were his eyebrows lowering themselves, but even they did not seem willing to show any sort of strain.

To stress...? It just seemed so pointless.

“It’s okay if it is,” he said seconds later and laughed, a soft and short-lived sound. “I understand why he’d be a point of concern.”

(but he’s not.)

“He is not as cold as you’d want to perceive him.”

He returned to smiling, settling for gazing out into the world as he watched raindrops hit into the ground at a steady pace. He wondered if he could make it out of here before the weather turned itself into a storm, but he found it all too easy to doubt. The weather always had a strange sense of timing, forcing for Ichiro to stay indoors and subdue himself with nothing but monotonous work ethics.

“I suppose he is one reason as to why I do not look upon ghouls with an aloof eye... or even an ambivalent one,” he explained in gentle tones, shutting his eyes in the meanwhile. “He has treated me with a certain kind of... kindness that it would be ill-mannered of me to treat him any less.”

He goes through the various memories-- he remembered the timid, almost-kisses they shared in the eerie silence of his office. He remembered the idle ways they used to pass the silence-- fixing up one another’s ties, straightening out the wrinkles with light pats on the back, and letting the backs of hands slide along cheeks for, perhaps, a bit too long. He could recall the moments he looked upon fondly that others would have merely brushed as simple times-- how he was questioned about his sister and how his brief answers were accepted, just as they were; so, in return, Ichiro respected the other man’s choice of answering his questions regarding family.

It was all just so messy but so easy to tidy up. Ichiro’s found that life simplified itself when Jura was around and, while he did not want to cling onto it like a lost child... he did enjoy it one way or another. Easier it was than the usual to find serenity in otherwise aching silence, he wondered if he’s ever thanked Jura for his efforts.

“But it is unwise for me to fight his battles. I’m sure that I’ve come off as rude.”

Opening his eyes, he was greeted with the distant sounds of rain hitting harder and practically crashing into anything that was solid. He smiled, though, and turned in a slight spin from his chair. Reaching down, he plucked the sole umbrella by its handle out from a nearby bin. Instead of using it for himself, he offered it towards his guest.

“It looks horrible out there, and I don’t wish to keep you for any longer.”

“I’m waiting on one, last client anyway.”