dustin-parrish-blog

[dustin-parrish-blog]

“The youth”. Wow. The way you speak, you must be ancient. Are you over thirty? 

Maybe you should stay home, like they said in the paper. At least school’s cancelled for now until things clear up and the roads are deemed okay enough to travel. A second winter holiday in January? I wanna personally thank whatever god or being or entity is responsible for weather.

Are people really this superstitious? How many people have come out of the woodworks just to push good luck charms onto everyone they encounter? It’s like a cockroach infestation. Actually… I take that back, it’s worse than that because I can’t get the hell out of dodge to avoid them because this fog is so ridiculously thick.

Or thicc, as the youth would say.

[dustin-parrish-blog]

leaparrish:

She and Dustin had decided, for some reason, to bake a cake for their mother’s birthday - all of this despite the fact that neither of them were even close to expert on cooking. But the recipe had seemed like a nice idea, and their mother deserved something that took effort and wasn’t just some store-bought cake, no matter how much easier that would have been.

“On it,” Lea responded, flinging open the door to the pantry, “also you do know I could’ve managed those bowls, right?” She gave a sharp wave of her hand, floating the flour bag quickly over to the counter where Dustin stood, before moving her hand down, quickly, letting the bag drop, a light puff of flour emerging from the top. “Well, lucky for both of us, I’ve never gotten below an A in my English classes, so I think I can manage to read the recipe well enough.” She bit her lip briefly as she collected the other ingredients that they needed. “You’re good at Chemistry also, and I don’t suck at it, so we should probably be able to manage this.” Or I hope so, at least. Do something right. 

Lea picked up the printed-out recipe and pursed her lips. “I think maybe in a little bit? I mean, it needs to be before we put the cakes in, because otherwise it won’t get heated up enough, but I don’t think it’s got to be, like, now or anything.” Lea grabbed a pair of scissors and began to cut the parchment paper for the pans, in near-perfect circles, handing them off to Dustin once she did so. “So, I think you put these right in the pans, and then spray them with cooking spray. That’s what seems to be in the instructions.”

She then plugged the mixer into the wall before turning around on her tight-covered-heels to face Dustin again. “How are we gonna divide up the work, because this isn’t going to work if just one of us,” she raised an eyebrow, “does all the work.” They still had plenty of time before their parents got home, but they still needed to get to work, given that the cake was fancier than any they’d ever attempted before. But this was good - and this was also a distraction - or at least Lea could hope that it would be. Give her something else to focus on with her brother - she could make sure he was totally safe and nobody was going to get injured during this - or have anything unpredictable happen.

“Y’know, I’ve always sort of wondered what red velvet was, so this is a bit of a learning experience too, huh?” She smiled before pursing her lips briefly - “Don’t call me a nerd for saying that, big brother. You’re just as big of one, and you can’t deny that.”

Dustin rolled his eyes at her. “Fucking show-off,” he muttered under his breath. What even was the point of being taller than his sister if she could get things off the high shelf using her magic? It was totally unfair. “You know baking involves way more skill than being able to read a recipe, right?” he asked, even though technically he wasn’t even the expert on baking himself. “That’s like saying that to become a rocket engineer, all you need is to be able to read the instructions.” He smiled when she acknowledged that he was good at chemistry. Often, his parents would see the near-fail grades that he did receive and assume that he was doing bad at school in general, which was simply not true. So getting grounded for receiving an F should totally be cancelled out by getting an A in chem or physics.

“I can do that,” Dustin said as he was handed the cut-out parchment, putting them in the forms before getting the cooking spray. This was easy-peasy. But would the rest of this work be just as straightforward? Hopefully. “In the bowl of your mixer, add the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, salt, baking powder, baking soda and using the paddle attachment mix everything together until well combined, on low speed,” Dustin read from the recipe. He paused. “And then it says in a large bowl mix together the buttermilk, coconut oil, eggs, and vanilla extract. Whisk in the coffee and food coloring.” He looked at Lea. “So maybe one of us could do the one, and the other one the other bowl?” he suggested, walking over to the bowl. “What the hell is a paddle attachment though? Fucking hell, this shit’s too complicated, and it’s only going to get a more complicated if we try to evenly divide up each step. Let’s just wing it, okay? What’s the worst that could happen?” he asked his sister.

Okay, maybe there were a lot of bad things that could happen. Including fires, poisoning, apocalypses, or vampire attacks. Even though the latter had to be invited in, right? So they could exclude vampires from things that could potentially go wrong and ruin this baking experience.

“Isn’t red velvet just cake batter with red food colouring?” Dustin asked. “To make it look really fancy? Because what kind of food even is velvet? It’s not a vegetable for sure.”

Don't Be Afraid To Take Whisks | Dustin & Lea

[dustin-parrish-blog]

Wrapped in pretty red paper is this gag t-shirt that Blanche picked up when she thought of Dustin. Wrapped in it is a large key-chain looking charm with latin carved into it- it helps to prevent possession. 

There’s a small note- 

Merry Christmas, Dustin. - Blanche

[dustin-parrish-blog]

It’s really terrible. Ugh, I hoped that after all the deaths and craziness this summer things would finally start to calm down again. Now my mum is again freaking out about me going outside after dark which is IMPOSSIBLE when it gets dark so early. 

That is a nice offer you are giving people, however, I have to ask with the recent murders - how sure could one be that you aren’t the killer and this offer for free cookies - tempting as it sounds - couldn’t be your own plan to lure in more victims?

Our hearts go out to the Martha family, whose mother, Ase, passed away days ago. I’ve made a sizable donation to them but Her ring is still missing, if anyone finds it or has it, please return it to the police station. I’m sure we all agree that this should be put to rest as soon as possible.  

I made some holiday cookies, which are available at my office, and if anyone wants to talk- about anything- feel free to do so. The holidays are a difficult time of year. 

[dustin-parrish-blog]

Hopefully you won’t meet up with another new cute boy to do your Christmas shopping this year. 

[pm] Who are you getting presents for?

Okay so… I may have forgotten about a lot of presents. But I got most of them. I just need to do last minute shopping… again.

[dustin-parrish-blog]

Please tell me you’re not playing Mariah Carey. Every time I go to the grocery store since November, I keep hearing her voice. Over and over again. And by now, it feels like the speakers are posessed. 

I definitely have some family I need to avoid. I mean, my extended family. My real family is not that bad in comparison Does your bar have, like, an age you need to be to be allowed to enter?

Soul on the Rocks has its annual Christmas show coming up on the 23rd. Live punk holiday music from 8pm till last call. 

There’ll be a whole hour of songs about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and of course covers of the usual songs – My First Christmas As A Woman, Father Christmas, Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight), etc. Original songs too.

Only night you’ll find holiday drinks at Soul this month.

Come, but leave your Christian friends at home. Or hell, don’t – maybe it’ll open their eyes. 

And if you’ve got family you’re desperate to avoid, the bar’s open Christmas Eve and Day. 

[dustin-parrish-blog]

Personally, I am just waiting for the return of the murderous, moving snowmen. Can’t wait. ...That was a joke. Obviously, there have never ever been evil snowmen in this town. Ever.

Ten days into advent already and we’ve managed to avoid any weird christmas related shenanigans. Let’s keep it up AC. 

[dustin-parrish-blog]

Parrish + magic

@leaparrish 

[dustin-parrish-blog]

sooo the good news: I will write my last exam on the 8th, so I’ve got more than a month of absolute free time and even after that my semester will only start slowly again

the bad news: I am writing 3 exams next week and I am seriously considering becoming a pornstar instead of doing this science bullshit. so i’m going on a one-week hiatus from today on. i would love to plot with everyone once I get back! however, I won’t be able to actually use my brain for any plotting or general life skills that aren’t somehow related to perception or biomedical sciences until next friday... 

Stay safe, kids, and please be nice to Kelly and Jenn while I’m gone :P 

[dustin-parrish-blog]

veronicatheslayer:

But it is a classic!?!

It was a separate point which was then related back to Animal Farm.

So are, like, a hundred of different books. That I have not read. 

[dustin-parrish-blog]

leaparrish:

[pm] [user is exasperated and considers just blasting some of Taylor Swift’s new album] Don’t you have better things to focus on than this? 

[pm] I’m not focusing on that. Just pointing it out. You know, you could just admit it. Don’t know why you won’t? Like, if he is your boyfriend, I’m not gonna run and tell mum. 

[dustin-parrish-blog]

Don't Be Afraid To Take Whisks | Dustin & Lea

“Hey, can you get the rest of the ingredients?” Dustin muttered as he reached opened one of the kitchen cabinets and got out the biggest bowl they owned, setting it down on the counter before reaching for the two cake pans they needed. This was his job – Lea wasn’t tall enough to reach that upper part of the kitchen cabinet and at least he wouldn’t able to set anything on fire by just getting their tools ready. “We need flours, sugar…” As that was all that he remembered from his memory, he quickly glanced at the printed out recipe. “cocoa powder, salt, baking powder, baking soda, buttermilk, coconut oil, eggs, vanilla extract, hot coffee, red food colouring… Jesus,” he said before taking in a deep breath. “Oh and the stuff for the icing. Fuck, that is a lot. And complicated.”

What were they thinking? This couldn’t end well. Why couldn’t they have just mixed in some sugar, milk, and flour with chocolate to make an easy birthday cake? Or just gotten a cake from the bakery? He was sure that Laura Parrish probably wouldn’t have tasted the difference – except that the bakery cake would look all professional and like it had its life together. “It says here that we should start by preheating the oven. Are we really gonna do that already? I have a feeling it’s gonna take us a while to get to that point, don’t wanna waste all that energy,” Dustin pointed out, whirling around in his “I’m sorry, your opinion wasn’t in the recipe” apron that he’d gotten his mother two Christmases ago. It occurred to him then that they were truly alone in the house – Michael Parrish was finishing his shift at work and Laura would work until very late in the evening so she could take the next day, her birthday, off. If anything happened, it would be up to him to manage the situation. At least they had the emergency department on speed dial.

[dustin-parrish-blog]

leaparrish:

[pm] Wow, makes me feel much safer.

1. Lover’s quarrel sounds way too formal and like we’re in some book I read for you for English class, or that I read for fun/for class.

2. AJ and I are not dating, not sleeping together, and not even friends.

[pm] Do you let all of the boys you are not dating, not sleeping together and not friends with in your bed?

[dustin-parrish-blog]

leaparrish:

[pm] Craigslist is full of creeps, big brother. 

[pm] I’ll be sure to monitor them beforehand.

Speaking of, I saw you and AJ just had a lover’s quarrel? I’m sure mum will be happy to hear abou that at least.

[dustin-parrish-blog]

leaparrish:

[pm] Did you buy a Lame Jokes book when I wasn’t looking?

[pm] Yeah, I did. Grabbed ‘How to sell your sister on craigslist 101′ while I was at it, too.

[dustin-parrish-blog]

reedhan:

If anyone is interested in more about what I talked about during my presentation at the first Neighbourhood Watching meet and/or has any questions, feel free to contact me. Either through here or through my email! (And please don’t sign me up or send me any spam).

[user shares his professional/business email address]

I wasn’t there, but I’m really curious, what did you say? How are you going to watch the neighbourhood? I mean, like I mentioned you ARE already doing that as a police officer Also why would you watch people as a hobby when it is a job can I suggest knitting it is supposed to be very relaxing according to mum What exactly are you watching for? 

[user signs the email up to the blazinggrace.com newsletter] 

[dustin-parrish-blog]

quinnmann:

False. That’d be pretty bad. Does she even know you have one? Or about this site? I can’t picture her as being very savvy with tech.

False?! What are you saying, Quinn? Also, she’s alright. I mean, it’s not like she spends her free time gaming or anything, but she’s alright with a computer.