elayseawrites

[elayseawrites]

I/Me/You/We

If I could do it all again, I wouldn't . People often say they would. But after everything that happened, it would just be easier to pretend that part of me never existed. I don't dream about it either. I suppose that's a good thing but maybe it would stop the thoughts of what that truly means. Heartless fool who did what they had to in order to survive- maybe? Or did I just want to do it? Was I born this way? A symptom of my up bringing? What a cop out. I chose to do it. Just like my neighbour choses to let their door slam or the dog down the street barks at the birds, or the child that wails for its mother when out with their father. It's a reaction, it's instinct, it's a choice.

"What did I do?" That's a funny question, do you mean "what did we do?".

[elayseawrites]

The Glow

It’s been like this since I was 3. I have vague memories of a beautiful blue sky and a light that warmed you when it touched your skin. But they’re memories lost to void that holds us close now. The Darkness occurred twenty-two years ago. In an awful event that killed 93% of the population. The people that survived were called lucky but I’m not so sure.

The sea was not calm today. It had that foreboding feeling, a presence that you can’t trust, just waiting to explode. I picked up the pace. Walking along the boardwalk that connects my family’s house to the other farmer’s, I cling close to Penelope, her blue luminescence providing a feeling of calm as the waves crashed against the sides near me, tempting me into the foam below.

A gust of wind caught my hair from behind and forced it over my eyes. An annoyance more than anything as although Penelope provided a faint glow, it would never be enough to guide the way in the deep darkness. A crash behind me as a barrel topples in the wind makes my hand search for my side arm instinctively. The Settlement’s Deliverers were often jumped and attacked for the important goods they transported but I had not experienced this yet. Not out of luck, but because of the skills that my father taught me from a young age. Survival, reaction speed and of course the ability to read my situation in an instance.

He was originally a farmer who tended to crops on the mainland. Wheat and Barley, he had told me, not that those words mean anything to me. After The Darkness began, he had been transferred with mum out to the ocean farming settlements of the bioluminescent plankton. We had been here ever since. The floating settlements originally began with about 200 people, but they have grown exponentially ever since and here at Reefrock we now have a population of 5342. This new delivery would be 5433.

The government provided street Glowers indicated every 50 metres of floating path although they seemed to get dimmer on this side of town. Reaching the intended destination of the delivery I could hear a baby’s wail from inside, followed closely by the sound of a young infant that couldn’t be older than 2. I clipped Penelope into her holder on my shoulder and knocked loudly on the door of the run-down shack.

Looking at the water’s edge I could see its floats were sinking below the water, barely holding the structure afloat. The desperation of the people around me could be seen if you looked hard enough. A young man opened the door. He had the two-year-old clinging to his leg like a starfish on a rock.

“Mr James Brandt?” He looked tired beyond his years. And a look of distrust crossed his face as his eyes darted down to the Government logo sewen onto my shirt pocket.

“Yes.” He confirmed.

“On behalf of the Government I would like to present to you your new baby’s Lumobud. The Lumobud will be a light source that will last their lifetime. A permanent item that belongs to them and only them from the minute they are born. It will grow with them and- ”

“I know how it works lady; can you not hear the 5 other children in this house? Just pass me the paper work.”

I hand over the papers he needs to sign. A birth certificate and a confirmation that the Lumobud has been received. My own Lumobud, Penelope seemed to attract the attention of the little boy still clinging to the man’s legs. I bent down to look at him, “have you got your Lumobud?” he nodded shyly. His pale skin and enormous iris’s only just allowing for the blue of his eyes to be seen. He was a typical Darkness baby with the body desperately trying to change and adapt to the world we now live in. He lifted a finger to touch my nose which has always been covered in a sprinkle of freckles. Mum said the sun used to do that to people and as a young child this toddler’s age in front of me, I spent a great deal of time in the sun on the farm. The little boy was fascinated by these little dots and poked each one as he said, “Trev is being used to light the bathroom but now he is going to come out and light my bedroom and the new baby’s one will be used for the bathroom!”

A glint of happiness in his eye and excitement made me forget for a moment the dark sentiment behind his words. The baby boom that happened ever since the Government introduced the Lumobud initiative was doing more harm than good in. People having too many children when they couldn’t afford to look after them, just so that they could have access to more light in the home. I couldn’t stand it but the little boy didn’t yet understand the life he was being brought into.

The man handed the paperwork back to me and left his hand open and expecting. I folded the paperwork into the document satchel and took of my delivery bag to remove the new Lumobud.

“You got a green one in there? I bet my work buddies it was gonna be a green.” I shook my head and pulled out the tiny yellow glowing mushroom from my pack. It was encased in a small dome, surrounded by a material that has been specifically designed to not only provide all the nutrients and perfect environment for this mushroom. But also, to grow with it. This little one was tiny in comparison to my Penelope, but it provided almost the same amount of light.

The man slumped his shoulders at the loss of his bet and took it out of my hands. The colours didn’t mean anything, but people liked to place value on things no matter what they are and somehow, somewhere on our floating village, someone had decided that the yellow glows were the best, closely followed by green and purple, the other colours falling behind.

He thanked me and redirected his little one inside, hopefully to go and help with the crying newborn that hadn’t stopped this whole time. I opened my documentation file and began looking for the next location for my delivery. I had two left for the day and a red and a blue Lumobud still tucked safely away.

A gust of wind blew past me and happened to bring with it a very soft sound. One that was not right and didn’t belong in this cold stormy night. The tiny sound of a whistle.

I grabbed my side arm and pulled it out, turning to face the direction of the sound. The shape of a man emerged from the darkness in front of me, his hands up. He had long hair down to his shoulders and small smile peaked on his lips. “Woah sweetheart, you shouldn’t point that thing at people, you might get someone killed.”

I didn’t recognise him. The village was big enough at this point for people to exist and to not know about them, but he seemed to be my age. Growing up here, you at least knew everyone your age. My only conclusion was that he got off a boat here at some point recently.

“You are interrupting government work”.

“Oh dear. And one mustn’t do that, because we all know how much the government cares about us.”

Something clicked in my brain a little too late... he didn’t have a Lumobud on him. It was highly unusual for people to walk around outside without their Lumobuds. It was for safety more than anything. The Darkness encompassed all things, and the government supplied boardwalk lights were not nearly enough to illuminate around a person who was try to travel.

He stepped closer and I stepped back, straddling my delivery pack that was still on the ground so that is sat between my ankles. He chuckled to himself and looked at my gun again.

“Now, now, can’t we all be friends? I’m just curious to hear about your job and how I too can be a civilized member of society. I’d love to talk to you without being near death.” As he finished his sentence I saw the tiniest movement in his eye flick down to the bag between my feet. He must’ve thought he got away with it, but I kicked back with my feet and heard the sound of a young child shrieking.

“Go, now!” he yelled as I instantly spun to aim my gun at whoever was behind me. He lunged at me at the same time and grabbed my shoulders, pinning my arms to my side. I knew what to do, I’d been trained. He must’ve been at least six foot two but with my history in martial arts I quickly slammed my weight back into him.

He was prepared and nothing could’ve indicated to me what happened next. Which was that he held on and pushed off the boardwalk, sending us both plunging into the sea below. Just as I went over, I saw a young boy pull the two Lumobuds out of my bag and run off into the distance.