eldritchflapper

[eldritchflapper]

Oh ok so it turns out ive been borrowing grief from the future ! it turns out ive been preparing to lose the things i love rather than basking in the light of them while they last. Maybe i should nt do that

[eldritchflapper]

The HR guy at Substance HQ when he sees 503 is calling at 3am again

[eldritchflapper]

In Nosferatu (2024), Willem Dafoe plays the eccentric professor Von Franz, who has embraced discredited superstitious practices like listening to women

[eldritchflapper]

Dudes healthcare is so fake. My ADHD meds are $940 without insurance. But they gave me a website of "coupons" which straight up looks like a scam website, and I got it today for $60! Just a coupon from a random website and it was $900 cheaper. America, I am confusion!! America explain!!

[eldritchflapper]

i hate having to bring politics into my dissociation app but unfortunately we’re living in a fucking distopia and this isn’t getting talked about enough:

Tags from all fandoms I can think of so we can spread this faster:

[eldritchflapper]

[eldritchflapper]

last night i dreamt tumblr added like a billion buttons to the mobile app so instead of this

we got this

and everyone just rolled with it but sometimes the wide naruto got too wide and blocked off all the other buttons and people would just post "got naruto'd again :/" and the only way to reset him was to log out and log back in

[eldritchflapper]

Liam: The world ahead seems so beautiful now

Canon: WWI is coming

Liam: Yes, but I get laid on the regular now.

[eldritchflapper]

it's because you're always on that damn vibrator

[eldritchflapper]

likes to charge, reblogs to cast

[eldritchflapper]

im one of the angels assigned to guard god's throne and i keep shaving a piece of wood off one of the legs so it gets progressively thinner and weaker until one day it will snap like a matchstick and the big man will topple from his seat of power to grace the ground with his holy ass. of course he's omniscient so he already knows this and will have to banish me from heaven when it happens, but because of free will he has to give me the option to repent right until the very end. we both know i'm not going to do it but the rules that define our very being won't let us take any other course of action and besides he made me this way, so really the joke's on him no matter what.

[eldritchflapper]

HEY GUYS!!

GUYS!!!

FRANCE HAS REACHED THE REQUIRED NUMBER OF SIGNATURES ON THE CITIZEN'S INITIATIVE AGAINST CONVERSION THERAPY IN THE EU!!

ONE COUNTRY DOWN, SIX TO GO!!

We also need still quite a few signatures in order to reach the one million required.

As to date, the six other countries with the most signatures are:

Spain - 38.72%

Finland - 30.31%

Ireland - 24.86%

Netherlands - 24.15%

Germany - 23.54%

Belgium - 23.09%

So yeah, still a long way to go, but we ARE slowly getting closer. Don't stop now! Don't let this stay within the community, either, if you have any friends or family who are open to queer rights, get them to sign, too!

[eldritchflapper]

i hate when people are like “i really understand what it’s like to be Prey… to look up into the jaws of a predator and know it’s my purpose to be Consumed…” like bitch no, prey runs away, you’re some other shit

[eldritchflapper]

coworker trying to figure out jesus’ last name said “jesus carpenter….. john carpenter……. sabrina carpenter………” like he was uncovering an ancient lineage.

[eldritchflapper]

in middle school i knew a guy named alexander hamilton because his parents just thought it would be nice to name their son after a historical figure but then this poor guy went through hell because he was 13 years old in 2015 and his name was alexander hamilton

[eldritchflapper]

when the lyrics you've been mishearing are more clever than what's actually in the song

[eldritchflapper]

can we get a shout-out for the way that perfectly presentable shorts Immediately go pantymode and basically vanish when you sit down if you have big thighs and a tummy