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haha thats so funny [face gets gravely serious] but were you not a staunch and trusted ally i would have you executed for such a joke

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every "reddit story" [citation needed] read by AI to a backdrop of minecraft parkour/slime ASMR/baking videos/subway surfers: yesterday i overheard my husband and my boss talking about how stupid i was. "just dumb as hell", he was saying, sipping on rye and coke. the expensive bottle i bought him last year for our anniversary. he had given me a cardboard sign from the pizza shop down the road. my boss laughed. "well hopefully that life insurance policy you took out comes into play soon. when are you planning to poison her again?" my blood ran cold. i said nothing, just quietly left while they were still chatting. he wasn't expecting me home for another hour, and by then i would have dismantled our entire life. he'd been so distant lately, blaming it on work. and i trusted him. because he was my husband. i loved him. my fingers shook as i typed in the number for my lawyer who i've been keeping on retainer for the last year. i always suspected something like this, but poison? that was a new low, even for him. but he'd forgotten everything was in my name. within minutes i drained our joint checking account, and our savings. i cancelled all our credit cards. reported our debit cards stolen. next was HR. i knew my boss was having an affair and had for months, but i'd kept it quiet because i needed this job, even though a month ago i'd been offered a job at a competitor's company that paid 75x more and had 15 weeks paid vacation every month. i texted the former coworker who had offered me that position. "is there any chance that position is still avaliable?" "of course," she sent back immediately, "can you start tomorrow?" i said yes, and started drafting an email resignation with screenshots of my boss texting his mistress. i sent it to everyone in the company, and his wife and three year old daughter to boot. then i went to a motel and waited. it took less than half an hour for them to start calling. i declined my husband's call four times. make him sweat. i knew he would be pacing the kitchen, that vein in his forehead popping, eyes bulging out of his head. when i finally picked up, he was all smiles. trying so hard to sound cheerful and nonchalant. "honey! when are you getting home? there seems to be some kind of issue with our bank. i think we've been hacked." in the background, i could hear my boss swearing. "i don't know if i would even be able to help with that," i said, my voice clear and bright, "after all, i'm just dumb as hell." he was caught. and he knew it. at first he tried to play dumb. then came the pleading. and finallly, the anger. i didn't hear it, because i hung up the phone 20 minutes ago. he could tell it to the police. i reported them both for trespassing, since the house was in my name too. they were both arrested for attempted murder fraud adultry trespassing and given 25 life sentences. screamed and cried all the way to court. howling about betrayal. i didn't care. i was done caring about someone who would pawn our wedding ring to buy a collectible six pack of beer. someone who took for granted everything i did to make us work. someone who thought i was stupid even though i made twice as much money as him. with the money from my new position i bought penthouse in upstate downtown new san franscisco LA. my old boss's wife's daughter sent me a personal thank you note, telling me her father had always been horrible to her. i stood on the balcony of my new penthouse, sipping a thousand dollar glass of chardonnay, looking at the city skyline from my infinity pool jacuzzi. for the first time in years, i finally felt happy. like a weight had lifted off my shoulders. in a way, calling me stupid was the best gift my husband had ever given me. i raised my glass to the sky. a toast, to my new life. the life that i made for myself. that night, i slept like a baby, knowing no one would ever call me stupid again. i guess living well really is the best revenge.

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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

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thoughts on Katy Perry/Justin Trudeau?

It genuinely doesn't even compute. It gives me a feeling of unreality. Lots of things nowadays make me feel like "we can't be living in the real world, this can't be happening" but this is by far the most lowest stakes thing that makes me feel that way

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genuinely "second-hand dysphoria" is a concept that should never ever have been coined and should be immediately slapped from the mouth of anyone saying it about another trans person

"this uggo gives me second-hand uggo embarrassment" <- what you sound like

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so i started to think about some stuff. never doing that again.

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I have an important announcement: there is a post on here that annoys me.

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my thing i haven’t made is so good 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

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There is a pervasive ideological construction that someone either deserves autonomy or support, but that these are mutually exclusive.

This artificial construction is extremely present when it comes to discourses about age and ability. People will discuss taking away choices or censoring information as "protecting" young and disabled people, and will discuss taking away material support as a necessary exchange for decision making (e.g. "if you live under my roof, you live under my rules"--a threat that asserting autonomy comes at the cost of homelessness). This dynamic is so foundational to the oppression of children that even when applied to adult groups we use words like paternalism and infantilization to communicate that a group of adults is being treated "like children."

Whenever you demand autonomy, people use this as justification to withdraw resources and care. Whenever you express your need for resources and care, people use this as justification to withdraw bodily autonomy. In reality, all people deserve bodily autonomy and care. And in reality, oppressed people are routinely denied both.

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Opening a tarot booster pack i got 4 common Towers and one holographic Death

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i dont really understand all those "trans inclusive" brands that have overpriced boxers where the selling point is that you can put a pad in them and there's a bit of fabric to tuck the wings into because most boxers already have that? like theres an extra bit of fabric on the junk area anyway to create a sort of covered hole and you can just attach the pad there. also briefs and boxer briefs exist and are less loose-fitting and will therefore hold a pad in place better. carefully inspecting the construction of underwear before you buy and trying out a couple different styles to see which works best is going to net you basically the same result w/no special underwear required. you can just buy a pack of boxers

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I just saw an unexpected post that I have to ask about.

Do people actually eat tofu, like, for real? It's not a bit, people can actually tolerate eating it?

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The two most culturally important things from the past few years are Friday by Rebecca Black because we learned we like hating things more than we like liking them and Cookie Clicker cause we figured out the only reason people play video games is to watch the numbers go up and since then we’ve just been applying those lessons to new and better incarnations of those two things.

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remains utterly CRAZY to me how many trans mascs did not have gay boys for friends as kids, or simply did not notice their faggotized experiences. gay boys get called ma'am on the phone, gay boys get sexually assaulted in locker rooms, gay boys get told they can't run fast enough or lift heavy things, gay boys cultivate lots of weird private nerdy interests and become bookish and introverted, gay boys have only girls for friends and feel safest among women, gay boys sometimes are the "eldest daughter" in their families, gay boys are horse girls and spent their summers pretending to be mermaids, gay boys are used for emotional support by adult relatives and strange older men, gay boys get catcalled, gay boys have so many of your so called female socialization experiences did you not notice did you not care

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my post where i say men being celebrated for being masculine is the norm is full of people being like "well what about trans men" which continues to grate at me because like [deep breath] look. i know why your description of your own experiences is one of being punished for being 'too masculine'. but it really isn't the masculinity that's being punished. it's the gender non-conformity. i promise feminine trans men are not living it up being praised from all angles for being feminine. when YOU are subtly praised or rewarded for being feminine, it is because people are trying to push you back in the closet. if you ever dared to actually claim and take pride in the traits of yourself others view as feminine while continuing to live as a man everyone would suddenly be really mad at you for that too, because they actually don't give the slightest fuck whether you are "masculine" or "feminine", they give a fuck that you are TRANS and they want you to stop. there is no amount of 'masculinity' or 'femininity' that is Correct and goes unpunished. if other trans people seem to go about life happy in their presentation it is not because no one has ever punished them for it but rather because at a certain point you have to stop giving a fuck or else you will die. and i really think you are doing yourself and others a huge disservice by talking about being "punished for being masculine" when you are in actuality being punished for being trans. what traits are even considered "masculine" or "feminine" are constantly shifting and depend heavily on context. this simply is not a coherent way to analyze the way you are being treated as a transgender man.

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started playing balatro on friday night and over the weekend i have accrued almost 30 hours of playtime. i see illegal poker hands when i close my eyes and i hear the music when im falling asleep

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It's easy to call Grimes stupid. But if I were Grimes I would also make every single choice she made in the order she made it in because I would be Grimes and I would experience Grimes's life in the order it occurred. In this way we are all trapped inside of ourselves, and none of us know just how stupid we fucking are.