elixaaron

[elixaaron]

Skylar Astin

[elixaaron]

[elixaaron]

peterxmurrayx​:

     “ you’re fine , eli , i promise . ” peter assures his best friend with a laugh . “ so no need to invest in a good bookmark & pen . ” he liked having him here . he liked the distraction . his current job didn’t require as much focus as his job being a professor , it was easy for peter to balance being a good employee & also indulging in the little interactions with eli . he’s aware that maybe other’s viewed their friendship as a bit too friendly , including oliver , but no one ( also including oliver ) knew or understood them & peter knew they never would . peter loves eli & giving him , this up again wasn’t an option . “ alright , ” he says with a grin , happy to hear that eli was up for grabbing a bite to eat . “ you’ve got some time , i have some things to wrap up before i can leave anyways . ” it was interesting hearing about the parts of eli that peter didn’t quite know as well just yet having spent the past 2 years apart . eli accomplished a lot in his career that peter wasn’t there to see , so he did want to get to know those parts of him . he was happy to . “ i can write in dead silence . ” peter admits with a playful grimace . it was kind of funny how different they were & yet still so similar . “ i love that about you though . ” just how different he was from himself . peter just smiles at the suggestion , food in downtown brooklyn & an outdoor movie   thelma & louise was a plus   at bridge park … that meant an afternoon & evening full of eli , he was more then up for that . “ no , i don’t have plans . ” he says , laughing a little because eli was throwing his own words at him . he always asked if eli had plans & the answer was always , usually , normally no . “ i mean , i do now & that consists of you , me , brooklyn , food , a movie & hopefully ice cream on our way home after . ” he’s hopeful when he adds that last bit . “ alright . i’m gonna go finish up with work & you finish up here , i’ll be back . ” peter gives eli’s shoulder a pat before he’s back to work to wrap things up , so he can get a start on his time with eli . 

     once peter finishes up the things he needed to , he clocks out & he doesn’t waste any time before he’s approaching eli again , sitting at the chair he was in 20 minutes ago . “ okay , i’m officially all yours until tomorrow afternoon . are you about done ? ” he didn’t have anything else going on until he was due back at the book store tomorrow   he intended on spending that time with eli , like he did most of the time when he wasn’t at work . much like old times . “ want a cup of coffee for the walk ? ”

Eli didn’t mind hitting the coffee shop nearby if him hanging around would get Peter in trouble with is boss but he wouldn’t do it unless he was told otherwise, really. All he needed to concentrate were his headphones and being away from his apartment. He couldn’t get much done if the bed was too close by, or his big screen TV. Or the fridge. “Alright, good. I’d def go for a pen but the bookmarks? See, I’m more of a... dog ear books kinda guy.” It was probably a sacrilege for someone like Peter who loved books, and maybe that’s why Eli brought it up, smirking a little to himself. He remembered the piles of books they had to stack in boxes that were then almost impossible to lift up when they were packing fro Peter’s move. His bookshelves were emptied out, just as half of his entire apartment, when Peter left. Eli hadn’t tried to actively fill in the void, in any sense of the word. So much had changed since, even now as they pretended nothing hadn’t. Like the fact that his heart skipped a bit when Peter said he loved that about him but he had to remind himself it was just a saying and it didn’t mean anything. He still smiled and shrugged it all away, waving a hand as if shooing his friend away from him as they finally settled on a plan for after work. “Okay, then you better go away so I can finish this.” 

“Tomorrow afternoon? Wow. How lucky am I!” Eli grins, wiggling his brows playfully as he fixes his laptop back in his backpack, making sure he grabs everything before leaving. “I’d love a cup of coffee for the walk, yes. And we should stop by CVS to grab some candy for the movie cause I refuse to pay $5 for Trolli sour worms.” It was his go-to movie snack. Other than popcorn of course but Eli hated buying pre-packed popcorn because that defeated the whole purpose, so he didn’t mind overspending there. “Alright, I’m all set. Let’s go. We have a date with Susan Sarandon, Geena Davis, and a very young, very good looking Brad Pitt!” He winked in Peter’s direction, not for any specific reason other than the fact that he knew Peter knew how obsessed he was with Brad Pitt. It wasn’t even a physical thing, but for whatever reason, Eli loved Brad Pitt movies. “How was work? Wells and I didn’t distract you much, did we?”

[elixaaron]

Eli’s Plants 🌱 🪴 

A: Bowie B: Ella C: Elvis D: Louie E: Salazar & Aretha F: Lennon

[elixaaron]

peterxmurrayx​:

     peter just huffs out a little laugh at eli’s comment about wells as he picks a little at the muffin pushed his way - he wasn’t surprised by it though . he ignored wells’ comments the best he could , but even peter heard them loud & clear , especially the other night at the bitter end . that was wells though , it seemed . peter hadn’t spared thought about eli’s sex life until the other night , obviously it wasn’t something they really talked about , but wells laid it all out there & then peter couldn’t really help but think about it … a little bit . why hadn’t eli had sex in that long , he silently wondered - a thought that would likely go unanswered . maybe he needed to be okay with that . “ uhm , i think i’m okay . thank you . ” he smiles at eli across the table . “ i’m a bit hungry though , for something other than this muffin . ” his shift was wrapping up & he was already hoping he & eli could ditch this scene, grab some food & go home , or something . “ no , not really . not right now & stop it , you’re fine . ” he assures eli , “ you aren’t the only one that bums our wifi right under our noses . ” he’s joking . “ my shift is over in about 20 minutes though … are you hungry ? are you almost done ? i haven’t even asked - how is the writing coming along ? i’m almost surprised you can focus around here . i guess the headphones help , huh ? ” 

Eli mostly lived on coffee, especially when he was writing. It wasn’t necessarily that he needed it to focus or stay awake but there was some sort of mantra to it, a ritual. He’d stack up on coffee, good or bad, to get the job done, as had been the case that day. And music, but there shouldn’t be a big surprise there. He was, after all, a music critic. Listening to music—and then writing about it!—was exactly what they paid him to do. “I can eat something too. Probably a better idea, actually.” He agrees with a nod, smiling back at Peter across the table. It’s not like he had any plans for later either and spending time with Peter was as good, if not better, as any he could come up with even when he knew he should probably at least try. “Hey, at least I’m not pretending that’s not what I’m doing!” He smirked and shrugged. “If need be, I could always buy a bookmark, or a pen. Maybe a pen. I don’t know what I’d use the bookmark for.” He didn’t own a lot of books. He had transitioned from those to e-books and audiobooks at some point. He had to make room for all the vinyls which is what his bookshelves were filled with instead. Vinyls and plants. “I’m almost done. I just need to give it one last read and then I can send it. I’m used to it. I like a little distraction. I can’t write in dead silence. I don’t know how people do it, it’s just not me.” Eli explains realizing that despite they had lived together for so long and Peter knew him better than most anyone else, this part of his career was fairly new to both of them. It was exciting, though. It took a long time to get there, to feel comfortable in what he did for a living, to find his place. There was a time there Eli wasn’t sure what that was or if he’d ever achieve it. “Why don’t we go to Brooklyn? Grab some food Downtown, they’re playing Thelma and Louise outdoors tonight at the Bridge park. I mean, unless you have other plans...” Now it was his turn bringing up plans. Plans he wasn’t aware of or involved in. Separate plans. He needed to get used to that. Their lives weren’t necessarily intertwined the same way as before, even if they had been doing a good job at pretending nothing had changed recently.

[elixaaron]

peterxmurrayx​:

@elixaaron​

     work seemed to usually be pretty steady , but over the course of one hour , peter definitely had a bit more free time then he was used to - not that he didn’t stay busy , because he did , but stopping to text eli was way too easy . his texts showed that he did that most of the time when he was at work . falling back into things with eli truly proved to be way too easy ; everything he was missing , he had again , right at his fingertips . he was happy again . the holes he felt in his life were seemingly filled right up upon his arrival back to the city , moving back in with eli , reclaiming his life here - reclaiming his place in his best friends life . in london , he often tried to figure out what he was missing so much being away for so long , but the answer was always the same … eli . coming back to his life with eli is what made all the difference , but he had yet to discuss that out loud , with anyone . not zach , not haley & definitely not eli . there were still so many things they hadn’t discussed & they seemed … well , okay . sometimes, more than okay . 

     like today , eli set up for work at a table at the bookstore & it may or may not have provided a little bit of a distraction . just because peter frequently made little stops along his way throughout the bookshop to talk with him . if he were just passing by , he wouldn’t without giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze or letting his hand just graze over his neck . eventually though , peter passes by & wells is there , too . he stops to say hi before duty calls after a few minutes .  “ hey , ” peter approaches eli from behind once again , a hand on his shoulder where he squeezes gently before he sits across the table from eli , “ i take it wells left already ? ” peter leans forward  & naturally , he’s smiling just because he was always smiling around eli . “ were you able to get some work done ? ” 

Writing from the bookshop where Peter was was working had quickly become a thing. Even if he didn’t see anything wrong or weird with just how much time him and Peter had been spending together since the professor’s return to the city, Wells’ visit that day made him ask himself for a moment if, perhaps, he was overdoing it? He tried to drown his thoughts with his headphones, focusing on the column he needed to get done instead of the architect’s blunt indirect comments about Peter and how he felt about his best friend, though it was hard to completely mute the noise when said friend was right there, when every time his fingertips brushed against the back of his neck he felt shivers running down his spine. 

The coffee Wells had brought, split in half with Peter, was all gone now. He had been thinking of getting a refill soon but he had just finished his final draft and was proofreading before sending it to his editor when Peter joined him again, pushing what was left of his muffin towards him. “Yeah, he had to get back to work, that asshole.” Eli teases, pulling down his headphones and smiling back at his roommate with a shrug. Peter knew Eli loved Wells despite his choice in terms of endearments towards him. “I’m almost done, actually. I was thinking I could use another coffee. Want me to grab you something?” It came naturally to ask. Eli should’ve probably planned on finishing his column and leaving the bookshop. Let Peter work. Do something else. The option hadn’t really crossed his mind until now, not because that’s what he wanted but because he was conscious that’s what he should want. But not yet. He wasn’t leaving right this minute. Not with Peter sitting right across from him. He wasn’t moving yet. “Are you busy? Is your boss planning on kicking me out yet for eating up all the wifi and drinking your coffee without buying anything?” 

[elixaaron]

peterxmurrayx​:

    “ i am a little surprised to see the plants , ” peter comments having noticed them when he walked in . “ you’re a plant dad now ? that’s so cute . ” he can’t help but tease a bit , lightheartedly of course . “ i hope i don’t kill them . ” the words are spoken quietly , not intended for eli to hear & peter makes a face as he says that , too . he’d never really been a plant owner to know if he had a green thumb … he’d find out , apparently . “ they all have names ? ” peter’s honestly amused , but he really does find eli’s new hobby pretty cute . somehow , being a plant dad suits him . eli disappears into his bedroom & peter just … takes the place in . the differences , the bits that haven’t changed … it wasn’t much that was different , but the new art work on the walls were what really stood out to the him . he takes a moment to look at them , but really the couch is calling his name . maybe it was silly , but he really did miss it . there were a lot of memories on this couch . he sinks into it in a way that takes him back to 2 years ago … it felt like he never left . “ honestly , i don’t even know if we could get this thing out … how did we get it in here ? ” peter giggles at that - the memory of them getting it in here reminded him of that scene out of friends … a real shit show . “ maybe we can try in the next few months - if we find a couch that’ll outdo this one . ” at some point , they needed to replace it . peter is already looking at eli when he turns to look at him , an affectionate smile on his face now that he was back home , beside him , reminiscing . he drops his head back against the couch , against eli’s arm & he laughs at the teasing . “ i’m not even sorry about it . i have had some of the best sleeps on this couch which you finish the movies . ” he wants that again . he wants it all back .

     peter huffs out a quiet laugh again , “ yeah because you’re so excited to have a roommate again . ” blue eyes look off in the direction of the keys hanging by the door . “ i get it - you probably want to enjoy the next few days before you give up that privacy . ” he’s partially teasing , but also he gets it if eli wasn’t exactly hurrying for peter to move back in . “ nothing , just going back to the hotel . ” he doesn’t even really want to leave . “ lets watch a movie , or something … unless you have plans . ” he has to remind himself that he couldn’t exactly rule that out . “ i keep having to remind myself that i’m sort of shoving myself back into your life , ” he says out loud , his thoughts slipping right out . he sits up , tries to shrug off his own words , but he knows it’s true . he left . he put that distance between them & now here he was … just expecting to fit right back in , for things to be the same . “ i’m sorry … i should’ve given you more of a warning . ” he lets out a quiet sigh . “ but … if you aren’t doing anything tonight , maybe we can watch a movie . if you’re up for it . i probably won’t finish it , but i’ll head out before i fall asleep . ” 

“I’m a plant dad now.” Eli laughed, picking up a snake plant and pointing at it. “This one’s Salazar, seemed appropriate to name it that!” His sister had started the trend first during one of her first visits after Peter moved out. She said the place was depressing, though Eli thought she meant him. Still, after brunch, they came back with a pothos. These are unkillable, Eli, so I’ll judge you if you kill it! It’s not to say he hadn’t been about to a time or two, but it now hung nicely from a tall bookshelf by the window. Each with a name. He had too much time on his hands. “What? No! We’re not getting rid of this one until we move out, and I’m not moving out anytime soon!” He spread his arms over the couch as he spoke, as if comforting it for whatever harm Peter’s comment might’ve given the inanimate piece of furniture. It was the staple of the apartment. It gave it character. Eli was attached. And it was perfect now, too, with Peter next to him. Just like old times. It took everything he had within him not to sigh, or lean his head against Peter’s now on his shoulder. He just sat there and made himself comfortable, reaching for the remote for a distraction. “I am excited to have a roommate again. Now the cleaning doesn’t fall all on me!” The columnist grinned and shrugged, his eyes diverting towards the keys. He hadn’t moved them from their place since. It wasn’t on purpose. It only hit him there, they had been hanging right where Peter had left them, except maybe when one of his siblings came to visit and borrowed them. He got lost in that thought for a moment, humming as his attention was brought back to Peter, turning to look at him with a smile. “You keep saying that.” If you have plans... “I’ll let you know if I have plans... but a movie sounds about as good of a plan as any right now. So what do you want to start and not finish?” 

It had been a long day, for both of them, and Eli imagined it felt even longer for Peter considering it had only been a few days since his return from England and jet lag was still probably kicking his ass. Even if none of that had been a fact, having Peter fall asleep on him on the couch wasn’t exactly surprising. He knew it had happened before he got visual confirmation, just by the change in the pace of his best friend’s breathing and was careful not to make any sudden move to wake him. He stared for a moment before he carefully moved Peter to lie on the couch, bringing out a throw to tuck him in. Eli couldn’t send him back to the hotel even though the bed was probably a better option than the couch, and even if he’d suggest him take his old bed for the night, he looked too peaceful asleep to interrupt. He’d make him breakfast in the morning. Just like old times. And they could take this whole thing one step at a time as they got used to living together again after two years apart. Eli pushed a lot of the resurfacing feelings from having Peter back. It was the only way they could do this; he could do this. He wasn’t about risk a chance at rebuilding their friendship just because he made the mistake of confessing unreciprocated feelings two years ago. That was on him, not Peter. 

[elixaaron]

[elixaaron]

peterxmurrayx​:

     “ that must be nice , ” peter comments , amused by the response . the flexibility eli’s job provided surely allowed for some late mornings . peter , himself , was a morning person so he knew he couldn’t make a habit of sleeping in this late , even if his job allowed . “ ugh , i could use a new mattress . ” he plays along - although to be fair , he could use a new mattress . he watches eli check his phone & peter sighs , he knows it’s later than he preferred , but in all truth , he did need the sleep . so did eli , apparently . “ it’s fine , actually . i don’t feel that hungover , actually . just a bit … parched . ” speaking of , he takes that moment to go for one of the bottles of water that eli got last night . he grabs one & he tosses it to eli . “ drink up . ” he knows eli wasn’t feeling it like he was last night , his tolerance was a lot higher than his own . peter admired that . “ i might take something … just in case . i feel like the headache can set in a little later , in the middle of the day . ” peter frowns a little , but he laughs a moment later , “ it’s okay , don’t worry … i definitely downed those drinks faster than i probably should’ve , but i feel ok right now . ” peter just watches as eli stands & stretches . his blue gaze looks him over & after a moment , he looks away because deep down , he knows he shouldn’t be looking at eli like that . it wasn’t the first time , but now , he had a whole boyfriend in london . why did he need to remind himself of that ? “ okay , yeah - i owe you breakfast . tomorrow morning , it’s on me . ” he tells eli before he disappears into the bathroom .  he stands then , takes a couple gulps of water & tries to shake off this morning . waking up to eli felt … good , but in a way that also made him feel guilty just because there was oliver … all the way across the sea . he takes that moment to text his boyfriend , before he started the day with eli .

     the day went by … time flies when you have fun , the saying runs through peter’s mind when they come up to his apartment … theirs , again . after 2 years . they spent the day together & peter enjoyed every minute of it . getting brunch first , spending some time in the rooftop pool at his hotel , stopping by peter’s work & a couple other places peter was excited to stop by . he hadn’t been in the city for so long that being around everything he loved - eli & just … the city , really filled the holes in his life . especially when they stopped at eli’s place … or well , theirs again after peter paid half of his rent . “ it’s almost just like i remember it . ” he tells eli a couple minutes after arriving . he can’t explain what being back home made him feel , what it meant to him . i should’ve never left , was a thought that crossed his mind even more so now that he was back home . “ this couch though , ” peter says as he sits back on it with a content sigh . “ it’s like , just how i left it . ” it was as if no one had sat in his spot since he left … it felt nice . “ i’m so glad you never got rid of this thing , movie nights wouldn’t be the same without it ! ” 

By the time they end up back at Eli’s apartment, even Eli is feeling exhausted. He doesn’t complain, though, because he hadn’t felt tired up until that moment. Being around Peter again was energizing, and he wouldn’t give up the chance to spend as much time as he got with his best friend on his first day back—or at least, his first day back that he knew of. He knew there was a lot they weren’t bringing up in conversation, as for example, their morning, but it was easy for Eli to push those thoughts away and focus on what he did have in front of him, his best friend, back in New York. He missed him, for many different reasons more than just the one he didn’t dare bring up again.

It made sense to drop the things they had grabbed along the way at the apartment instead of letting Peter go back with all of it to the hotel if he had to bring them over in a few days anyway. “Almost. I’ll have to introduce you to my new plant babies at some point.” Eli hadn’t changed much of the place aside from small things here and there. He suddenly had a whole lot of plants, some thriving, some not so much, a little hobby he had picked up when he had the apartment all to himself and nothing much to do to keep him busy. There were a few newer wall art to, mostly local artists he walked past on the street and wanted to support. Usually he and Peter would pick up things together, things they both liked. Even if Peter wasn’t around anymore, Eli would still use the same train of thought when making a purchase decision, as though he had to run it by Peter first, opting usually for what he thought the other would like too anyway. He didn’t do it on purpose or consciously, but he knew he did it without question. He walked to his room to drop his things and found Peter on the couch on his return, the sight at first almost making him stop on his tracks to reminisce. “Honestly, maybe I just never did because the thought of having to get this thing all the way down by myself makes my back hurt already.” He grinned, taking his spot beside Peter, leaning his head back. It was a nice couch, worn and old, yeah, but that was part of its personality. Turning his head to look at his friend, he smiled when he brought up their movie nights. Eli missed those. He missed a lot of things about living with Peter. He missed how easy it was, how nice it was to come home to someone, and for that someone to be his best friend. “Yeah, that too. Not that you ever last an entire movie on this couch without snoring.” Eli teased lightly, arms spread behind the couch as he stretched, again. “Your keys are still hanging from the same hook by the door so you can grab ‘em on the way out later. I’m not kicking you out, though. I’m just saying.” He added quickly. “What are you up to tonight?”

[elixaaron]

peterxmurrayx​:

     obviously not for the first time , eli makes him smile . above everything else , they were best friends . eli was still his number one despite not talking for 2 years & having oliver . he thought about him way too much , a whole lot more than he told anyone . he’d kept a lot to himself the past 2 years , even still as he laid beside eli , literally in his arms . there was a day they didn’t keep secrets from one another & now , today ( tonight ) peter could feel how much was unsaid . how much neither of them were bringing up to talk about & he still finds himself wondering if they ever will . “ that’s good to know . ” he says even though he knows this , it had been 2 years , after all . he knew eli would probably ditch whoever he was with if he showed up from london , interrupting something . “ of course you had a choice , ” peter chuckles , “ if you really didn’t want to stay … although , considering my state of mind , you might be right - i might not have taken no for an answer . ” he’s focused on how eli feels beside him . his arm around him , peter’s over him , too . how he felt so comfortable with him , in his embrace … so comfortable that sleep really does take over in a matter of minutes . 

     when peter does wake up , he’s slow to open his eyes . he feels eli beside him & it doesn’t take much to realize they’re spooning , his chest pressed up against eli’s back - the closeness it provided is more than welcomed , he does let himself sit in the moment for a little while . oliver is in the back of his mind , but peter doesn’t budge . his arm is still thrown over eli & he figures he’s still sleeping … he doesn’t want to wake him . his first morning back home . no , he wasn’t at their apartment , but even now , at the hotel with eli in his embrace he feels like he’s right back at home . like everything he was missing was all his now … it makes him happy . the sun is shining through the windows & it’s bright , it’s nice to wake up to & it makes him really want to be home - mornings with eli , even not waking up together like they were this morning , were always nice . it isn’t until he feels movement beside him that he realizes he’s been laying there , awake for a little while , his mind racing , thinking about a lot of things . he does sort of pull his arm back when he feels eli move beside him , he should move away , too , put some space between them , so he does . he turns over & after another moment , he sits up , swinging his legs off the edge of the bed . he doesn’t stick around right then to see if eli does wake up , he just moves quickly to go to the bathroom . he felt like he was really teetering some line that he shouldn’t be & he’d only been back for … not even a full 24 hours . it was harmless , he tells himself . it was him & eli . it was innocent . he takes a few minutes to wash up before he’s out of the bathroom & sitting on the edge of the bed , smiling at eli when he sees him awake . “ good morning … you must’ve been pretty tired , or this job of yours has your pretty spoiled . ” he teases lightly . “ did you sleep alright ? ” 

It takes Eli some time to fall asleep but he does, finding himself comfortable in the embrace despite the thousands of thoughts crossing his mind. He allows himself to quiet them all and just give in for just that moment. It was late for both of them and neither dared even try to set up a time to wake up. Eli didn’t have any plans except spend the day with Peter and Peter was pretty knocked out for him to worry about morning yet. Eventually, though, the brightness in the room finally catches up to him. He’s still between half asleep and awake when he first tries to turn, finding himself caged between Peter’s arms, his breathing hot and easy against his neck. His body stills involuntarily, his eyes completely shot. He’s afraid that if he moves at all, he’d wake Peter up and then they’d have yet another awkward conversation pending. Eli would rather not talk about this, or anything before tonight, at all if he could help it. He didn’t want to further severe their friendship more than he already had with his big mouth two years ago. So he lied there quietly, making sure his breathing remained even, keeping his eyes shut until he felt Peter release his hold of him and eventually leave the bed entirely. He opened his eyes and sighed only when he heard the water running, turning to lie on his back again, an arm draped over his forehead, shaking his head. He was is such big shit, he knew that much. He could even hear Wells voice somewhere in the back of his head, knowing he was right. He wanted so much more than just being Peter’s friend, still, after two years. Fuck. 

He’s still in bed when Peter steps back into the room, and despite everything going through his mind at that moment, he can’t help but smile at the sight of his best friend. “Both.” He says with a light shrug, stretching his arms over his head before he even tries to make an attempt to sit up. “Yeah, was just thinking if there was a way we could sneak this mattress out of the room so I can bring it home with him.” Eli jokes, searching for his phone to check the time. It was definitely more lunch time than breakfast but he was sure they could find a good brunch spot anywhere if the hotel happened to have stopped breakfast service after all. He was hungry. “How’s your head?” He asks instead, checking in on his friend’s mild hangover, a slow grin forming on his head. “I don’t want to be blamed for your hangover on your first night back. It was all your idea.” Eli finally moves to stand on his feet, facing the window as he stretches again, feeling the satisfying crack of his back and neck. “Alright, let me wash up and stuff, and then I’m all yours for the day.” He was completely brushing off their morning and he wasn’t planning on bringing it up unless Peter did either. It was easier that way, Eli kept telling himself. “But you owe me breakfast. You promised, Murray.”

[elixaaron]

peterxmurrayx​:

     in the back of peter’s mind , he’s unsure as to how eli would take the sudden closeness as peter lay’s his head on his shoulder . he can’t help it though . he wants it . he wants to feel eli beside him . in a sense , he came all the way home for it . it takes a couple of seconds , but when eli welcomes the gesture by moving his own arm around peter , he’s happy to move just that little bit closer as he sort of curls into his side , his own arm snaking around the other’s middle . yeah , he thinks to himself , he’d really been missing this . “ sounds to me like it’s just way more comfortable than my side . i might fall asleep on your side , if that’s the case . ” he’s just joking , for the most part . “ i am , too ! i was hoping you didn’t get rid of it . ” if he weren’t surprising eli today , he’d have asked to crash on the couch until his room was cleared out . that wasn’t the case though , which meant he was staying in this hotel room until then . he laughs when eli mentions how he always fell asleep while watching movies , it wasn’t a lie . he fell asleep too many times to count , he was well aware . it was a thing . before peter left . “ i blame you & the couch ! i can’t be that comfortable & be expected to not fall asleep , eli . i know i can fall asleep anywhere really , but you really can’t blame me . ” to say he could fall asleep anywhere was quite an understatement & if anyone knew that , it was eli . 

     peter just smiles to himself when eli agrees that they’d get to do that again . his fingers absentmindedly trace invisible patterns on eli’ side , over his shirt … he didn’t want to admit it considering the conversation they just had about him falling asleep , but he was tired . & comfortable . “ i don’t snore ! ” peter playfully defends . “ cut me some slack , will you ? i am jet lagged , a little drunk , very comfortable & readjusting to this time zone . ” he knew eli was teasing , he just played along . “ there is a lot to talk about ... but i guess we have tomorrow . ” there was way more to talk about then they would get around to , peter already knew . “ i wish i weren’t so tired , i’d stay up all night talking to you . ” he knew he wouldn’t last much longer . being jet lagged , tipsy & the fact that it was much , much later where he was coming from was a bit too much   peter was tired . “ it was hard . i thought to text you a lot , every day for a while about it , but then it was like a for sure thing & i thought … it’d be fun to surprise you . i will admit , i’m pretty proud of myself for not accidentally telling you in our texts though . ” the chances were high , especially considering how long they were texting . “ i’m glad you weren’t busy tonight … i should’ve considered the chance of that being a thing , ” but he didn’t & he was just really glad that he wasn’t interrupting something . “ i’m also glad that you stayed tonight , with me . ” he told him outside of the hotel that he wasn’t ready to say goodbye & it was so very true . a big part of peter wishes he doesn’t have to say goodbye to him anytime soon , but he knows that was irrational   he couldn’t expect things to be the same as last time yet he had high hopes . “ breakfast tomorrow … is 10 too late ? you might have to wake me up . ” 

Eli is half paying attention to Peter’s words, his entire body fully aware of his touch, fingers drawing idle patters against his side, his breath hot against his skin, his body flushed closely against his. Two years. He had tried to get over these very feelings for his best friend for the last two years, and now, in a matter of seconds, in the span of just one night since Peter’s return, he quickly realized it was all such a big fail. It was easier when Peter was abroad, when he was out of sight. Even if he was never quite out of mind, he had more control of it, of how he allowed his own feelings to affect him or their relationship. Now he lied there in bed, knowing very well Peter had no idea what he was doing to him, having to suck it up. He shouldn’t want his best friend in the way he did. Peter had made it more than clear, too, he did not share in those feelings. It made him feel almost guilty, lying there with Peter so comfortable against him while all he could think about is how much he missed this, how much he had craved this, when they both were talking about it in such a disparate way. He had to hold his breath, to clear his mind, to focus. He had gotten pretty good at it, too. The pretending.

“You totally snore.” Eli laughed. “I have proof.” They had live together long enough for Eli to know for a fact Peter didn’t snore often, but he had managed to catch him on video once, snoring, and he would never let him live it down. They had many of those memories, one offs, completely ordinary moments only they shared and no one else. Part of him would miss that the most, realizing he would have to share Peter for the rest of his life, that he would not be that one person who knew all the secrets and small, seemingly insignificant details about him. That all in itself was heartbreaking, too. “Fine. I’ll cut you some slack because it’s your first day back, but you should really just try to sleep this off or you’ll regret it in the morning.” Eli added, giving Peter’s shoulders a light squeeze. It was also, in a way, his own tactic in an effort to avoid having to talk about the lack of texts, or the change in frequency. He had his own reasons, including an unused flight ticket. It was just easier like that, he thought, fairer, too, to give Peter his space, to let him make a new life for himself without him in it. “I’d never be too busy to welcome back my best friend, Peter.” He spoke in a slightly hushed tone, closing his eyes for a moment. He knew it’d be a while before he could catch any sleep. “Also, I don’t think I really had a choice about staying the night, right?” He smiled, even if Peter wasn’t looking. “Especially not when breakfast is involved. We’ll figure it out when you wake up, whatever the time is then.” They were in no rush. Eli surely wasn’t. He wasn’t even sure how long it had been but at some point, Peter’s breathing evened and his fingers stopped tracing lines down his side. He tried to disentangle himself but the sleeping man wasn’t budging, so he lied there in bed, in a dark room, eyes wide open as he stared at nothing and everything at the same time, until eventually, with the crack of dawn already almost peeking through the windows, he fell asleep with an arm around Peter, his lips softly brushing his friend’s forehead with a kiss that would go unnoticed. 

[elixaaron]

peterxmurrayx​:

     when eli comes out of the bathroom , peter was already laying in bed under the covers . he already down a handful of yogurt covered pretzels   he wasn’t that hungry , but he knew he should eat a little something & he didn’t want eli’s efforts to go unappreciated . they fell right back into taking care of one another , it seemed . they got good at it over the years & peter missed it . it was crazy now , looking up at the ceiling of his hotel room … just last night he was in london … he felt like he could breathe easier now . london was nice in some ways , but in others ways it felt so … off . it was difficult at first to pin point why he wasn’t as happy as he’d been before , but the days & nights went by & peter went to sleep thinking about how much he missed eli & his life back home  . he had oliver , he had a good job , he was in a beautiful city & yet something was missing … there was an eli sized hole in his life & peter grew to hate the choices he made that led him there  . maybe it was bad thinking when he had the things he did , the life , the partner , the career … it put peter in a mindset that was so straining over the past few months . to himself & his relationship . 

     “ you don’t remember ? i’m a blanket stealer in my sleep , i can’t help it . & don’t even think about sneaking off to the couch tonight , that isn’t allowed . ” peter jokes with a giggle although he wasn’t really joking . he hoped eli didn’t do that . he wanted to sleep beside him tonight , cuddle a bit , too … he missed him , he wanted to indulge . “ i ate some pretzels , yeah . thanks for going to get them . ” he’s been looking at eli , watching him as he got into bed & settled beside him . he just smiles as he does because this felt nice . he chuckles again , but doesn’t look away when eli looks over at him . “ uhm , i don’t want to , but i might . ” peter admits , “ there’s so much to talk about … ” & so little time , it felt like . “ i can’t believe we were texting for as long as we were yesterday … i missed that . i missed a lot of things . ” like getting to do this with eli without the lingering worry that it wasn’t okay anymore … although , peter wasn’t sober & that possible boundary didn’t register in his head , not tonight . “ mm , it is , right ? i crashed so hard earlier . i took like , a 3 hour long nap . ” he says as he does adjust himself & like before 2 years ago , peter just scoots over enough to close the distance between them & lay his head on eli’s shoulder once he’s comfortable . “ i can’t wait to be in my own bed , ” he hums quietly , “ do you still have that same couch we picked out a few years ago ? that couch somehow got more & more comfortable the longer we had it & either it finally reached the end of it’s days or it’s the most comfortable place to sleep in the apartment . ” he huffs out a quit little laugh at how drunk or sober , peter always managed to ramble about things . “ watching movies together on that couch was the best even though i almost always fell asleep . because i was way too comfortable with you on that thing . ” there were so many memories that came to mind bringing up cuddling on their couch , at home , while watching movies . “ we get to do that again . ” peter grins to himself , but for some reason , he can’t bring himself to look at eli right then . they’re too close , maybe   as if that’d make him actually separate from him though . “ sorry … i think i talk more when i’ve had a couple . you really need to stop me sometimes . ” 

Eli didn’t try to get himself out of this situation not because he didn’t think about it or secretly wanted to, but precisely because he knew that if he did, it’d just make things awkward or let Peter know things weren’t as fine and dandy between them as they were both trying so hard to pretend. He should’ve known it was only a matter of time before Peter would decide the space between them was too much, much to his own regret, holding his breath a little as his best friend came closer. It was hard not to think about everything that had happened in the last two years, about the way he felt for the man beside him and how he was still trying to get over him, and how they had simply not even dared to bring any of it up since. 

“We have plenty of time to catch up, Peter.” Eli promised, offering his best friend a simple and easy smile. It was hard not to smile around him, despite everything. Peter was still and always would be his favorite person; his person. “Yeah, but that’s only because, you were like five hours in the future, and you were busy and I was busy and life just happened, but now you’re here and I don’t think I’ll be able to escape your cute little ramblings for that long again even if I wanted to!” He teased, because that was easier than acknowledging the truth. His eyes concentrated on some idle spot in the ceiling after Peter moved to settle his head against his shoulder, his chest rising and falling heavily as he was unable to hide the sigh that escaped him. Maybe he could blame the time of night, being exhausted after a very long and busy day. Humming, he gave up and readjusted against the bed, moving an arm to wrap around Peter because it was more comfortable that way. “Still the same couch, yep.” He chuckles, shaking his head. “Except maybe my side of the couch is probably even more dented now than yours since not many people sit there to keep it on a healthy balance. I think I’ve considered buying a new one but... you know, I’m emotionally attached to that ol’ thing.” The couch was definitely more than just a few years old, and they had not splurged too much on it to begin with. It was a regular couch and nothing special, but it was theirs and it was comfortable. It was too big for Eli, too, once Peter was gone. It just never felt the same way. Nothing really did. “I don’t think it’s fair for you to blame the couch for not being able to last through a movie, Peter. You’re the worst!” He laughed because as much as he hated it when he turned to see Peter fast asleep, he was never too surprised and was ready to give him a recap of the ending in the morning over a quick breakfast and coffee before they headed out to their respective jobs. 

They had fallen into such rituals after living together for as long as they had. People sometimes made fun of it or found it amusing, how they gravitated towards each other or even bantered like a couple over the most basic domestic things. Eli wasn’t sure if they would be able to go back to that, but he would try. He swore he wouldn’t let anything come between their friendship, not even himself. He closed his eyes, aware Peter wasn’t looking at him to notice, lips pressed for a moment. “Yeah. We will.” He says idly in reply to Peter’s words. They’d get to do that again. “Oh, I won’t have to stop you. I’m pretty sure you’ll be snoring in no time.” He adds after a moment, eyes still closed as he shrugs, the small curve on his lips audible in his voice. “Besides, you just said it yourself, there’s so much to talk about.” Everything, except the one thing that truly mattered. Turning his head a little, resting his chin softly against Peter’s head, Eli opens his eyes again. “I still can’t believe you kept this whole move from me until last night. I didn’t think it’d be possible for you to keep a secret that long. I’m mostly impressed you were able to hold it for so long!” He was joking but also not. It went to say how distanced they had been that he didn’t catch it sooner. There was a time he knew what Peter was thinking before his best friend knew himself.

[elixaaron]

peterxmurrayx​:

     peter watches eli closely , his blue gaze not straying , but rather focused on the other instead . “ yeah … here is where i want to be . ” it was hard not to think that way when things were different than they were before . he also can’t help but wonder if things will ever really be the same , if they’d ever talk about pre-london or the kiss … about everything . he was about ready to start to pout when eli starts to protest , but it doesn’t last long before he gives in which has him grinning again . “ i’m not even a little bit sorry about it . ” peter says , nonchalantly & he chuckles a moment after . “ it’s gonna be so good   i’m already looking forward waking up in the morning . ” for more reasons than one . getting to have that breakfast he spoke so highly of & getting to spend more time with eli , while they were both conscious & not sleeping . “ wow , that’s rude . i’m offended . i showered earlier & i took a nap   i’m not even that tired ! ” that was a lie . he was still , very much in fact jet lagged . 

      he’s already leading the way to his room , sparing a glance back at eli as if to make sure he was following him all the way up to one of the higher floors . “ uhm , ” peter considers eli’s offer to order something for him while he showers . “ maybe something from the vending machine , if anything . i think i’ll wait until breakfast to eat a bigger meal . i really want some french toast . ” he was really looking forward to that , but he also knew he was going to fall asleep pretty quickly when they were settled in bed . “ thank you though , for offering . ” he glances at eli & smiles as he opens the hotel room door . he’s also slipping out of his jacket , setting it on a hook by the door where he also kicks off his shoes . blue gaze once again on eli , watching as he takes in the room . it was fancier than he’d have booked himself . he wasn’t surprised by it though considering it was his mom who booked it for him . “ yep , you know my mom . i shouldn’t have expected anything less   the bed is the best part . ” as he says that , he’s already laying back on it . it felt so nice . he was going to fall asleep pretty quick , he could feel it already . “ we don’t , but we still love it . i like our place … ” he trails off & he giggles a little , “ i don’t know if i can call it ‘ our ’ place , it feels more like yours since i’ve been gone for so long . ” he sits up & huffs quietly , he still felt lightheaded   he wasn’t sober yet . “ you don’t mind me moving back , right ? if you wanted to live alone , you’d tell me ? i kind of feel like i’m invading your space . ” it wasn’t like when they were younger & just happened to end up rooming together as long as they did . he looks to eli for an answer as he stands up to dig through his suitcase for some clothes for himself & something for eli to sleep in , if he wanted . “ you can use these to sleep in , ” he hands over some sweats & a t-shirt . “ i guess i’ll go jump in the shower , since i need one so bad , apparently . ”

"Yes, and that was before you took on to the streets of New York and came to the bar, so shower it is. I’ll grab some chocolate or something while you’re at it. Besides, it’ll help with the smell...” That last part was a joke. Peter didn’t smell. Eli grinned and shook his head as his best friend kept going on and on about breakfast. He loved breakfast and the more Peter went on about it, the hungrier he got. “In a perfect world, we could have breakfast by the pool. Wouldn’t that be nice?” He was sure that probably wasn’t even allowed but if he had a say, or maybe someday in the future, when he made it and had a place of his own, with a pool, he’d definitely consider breakfast by the pool. Or maybe he just got to rent a nice room like this but with a private pool. Eli laughed almost to himself at his wild ideas, and also at the fact that he really, truly didn’t expect anything less from Grace Murray. “No wonder our moms get along.” It was no secret Sadie and Grace had become friends throughout the years, too. He didn’t think it was weird, either, like some people, because explaining his friendship with Peter wasn’t easy when others didn’t have anything nearly close to what they had. Eli turned to find Peter lying in bed, walking around to where he was and grabbing his friend’s hands as he pulled him back to a sitting position. “Come on, get up. If we’re sharing a bed, you’re not ruining it with your outside clothes, buddy. I’ll grab you snacks but you gotta go shower.” He tried to negotiate, finding the entire situation both funny and so very familiar. “It’s only been two years, Peter. I never really considered it just my place even when you weren’t here. It’s still your room. It’s still our place. Even more so when you start paying half the rent. I can’t wait for that!” He grinned, also glad he had managed to get Peter on his feet. Even sharing clothes with Peter didn’t feel odd. None of this felt out of place in any way, but as Eli watched the other disappear into the shower, he plopped in bed with his hands over his face and he led out a muffled groan because as much as he liked to think it was all fine, there was so much left unsaid between them. It took another minute before he sighed and pushed himself out of bed, grabbing the spare key and his wallet, coming back from the vending machine with some yogurt covered pretzels and chocolate, and a few extra bottles of water. It didn’t take long before Peter got out of the shower and he went in, changing into sweats and a tshirt that was just a little too big on him but also fit perfectly. Eli stared at himself in the mirror for a moment, his hair just a little damp from the shower, his eyes a little tired. He didn’t feel tired, though. He was still so fully aware of everything. Of Peter. Back. So soon. “Alright, scoot over. You’re not stealing all the covers. I won’t let you.” He added, his voice casual as he had been trying to keep it sounding all night, automatically going for the side of the bed that wasn’t already occupied but also trying to leave some safe space between them. “Did you eat the pretzels? You should eat the pretzels. It’ll make you feel better.” It wasn’t too hard to pick the snacks he knew Peter would like from the options he had, and he knew Peter needed something. He wasn’t sober yet. Eli just didn’t want him to have to deal with a massive headache in the morning. “You’re so gonna pass out on me, aren’t you?” He laughed, turning his head towards Peter from his side of the bed, getting comfortable against his pillow. “This is a really nice bed, damn. You were right.”

[elixaaron]

peterxmurrayx​:

     “ don’t tease me like that ! ” peter jokes when eli brings up getting him some pizza on the way to his hotel . he’s thankful for getting to lean on eli   it was definitely a thing when he’d been drinking , he needed the support considering how clumsy he was while not being under the influence of alcohol . “ what ? of course she wouldn’t mind ! don’t be silly . when have i ever gone over there without you ? ” he says in between giggles because that was funny . they hardly ever did anything without each other   eli was so close to his family because peter always dragged him along when he took a trip to the hamptons to visit & he had for as long as he can remember . “ you’re already invited , so i think that’s answer enough . ” being back home , he really did fall back into the swing of things , or well , he knew he could . doing everything with eli , including him in the things he did , day to day . “ i can’t wait for tomorrow ! a swim sounds so good . i haven’t gone swimming in sooooo long . ” he feels when eli moves to wrap his arm around his waist & it really shouldn’t make him as happy as it did . maybe just because he missed this closeness with eli , so very much . he isn’t even looking where he’s going , trusting eli in leading him as he looks at him , grinning . blue eyes are studying his features , happily even if he already had every bit of eli’s face memorized . he looked good . he did before , he did now . it takes him a second to realize eli was passing him a bottle of water , he was far too occupied with looking at eli , but he takes it once he looks away , at the bottle being handed to him . “ it’s not exactly an endearing quality , eli . ” peter tells him with a laugh , looking over at him again . “ so yes , apparently you are the only one & i’m okay with that . ” 

     peter frowns slightly when eli mentions texting him when he wakes up . he didn’t want to say goodbye . he just saw him again for the first time in way too long . “ as great as a pool for another week sounds … i really want to go home with you . ” nothing sounded better than going back home , for the first time in so long . being there with eli , not having to say goodbye , but rather just a ‘ good night ’ before retiring to their own rooms . they approach the hotel & he isn’t ready when eli drops his arm from around his waist , he doesn’t move away right then though or drop his own arm that was still draped over the other’s shoulders . “ yeah , i’m okay , ” he says as he does move his arm only to stuff his hands in his pockets & looks up at the hotel . he doesn’t really move away even as he looks back at the other when he speaks up again & he smiles , “ i’m glad that i am . i should’ve been back a long time ago . ” so many regrets , peter thinks to himself . he lets out a sigh as he looks at eli ,“ i’m not ready to say goodbye to you yet , ” he shrugs his shoulders & he presses his lips together in a little smile , eyes hopeful as he looks at his best friend . “ i feel like i just walked into the bitter end & surprised you . ” time flew while they were there , granted they weren’t there for long , anyways . “ you should just stay with me tonight , here . ” he grins as he moves to throw his arm over eli’s shoulders again just because . “ the beds big enough for us both , you can borrow some clothes to sleep in & to swim in   it’ll save you the trip back here in the morning ! ” he adds hoping that was enough to entice eli to just … stay . “ i hear their breakfast is really good , too . we like breakfast , probably not as good as yours but you won’t have to cook ! ” 

"I’m not teasing you. Are you hungry?” Eli would make the stop or even go get some food for Peter after they made it to the hotel. He wasn’t the one dealing with a few drinks’ effect on a jetlagged body. He could still survive another hour or two. Besides, he didn’t think he’d be able to fall asleep that easily tonight. There was a lot on his mind with Peter back, as exciting as that was. “Ok, ok, I’ll be there. Maybe that’s my chance to get that one photo of you I need from Lilly...” Now he was teasing, the grin on his face proof of that as he recalled their texts from last night. Last night felt like ages ago now that Peter was standing right beside him, with their arms around each other walking walking side by side. It was just so nice to touch him, to know he was really there. He missed his best friend, above all else. “Says who?” Eli frowns, shaking his head when Peter says his rambling is not an endearing quality, finding it actually one of his best. They were already at the hotel when he stops, making sure Peter is okay to stand before he retreats his arms, tucking them in his pockets as he turns to face his friend, studying his face as if he didn’t know it by heart, lips parted in amusement. “Maybe we can sneak in one of those inflatable pools to our rooftop and pray it never breaks so we don’t have to deal with a leak or worse, some fine from our landlord!” He adds. It’s something they did. They’d just get this in-the moment, wild ideas and somehow got away with most of them. “But we got a real pool here now so we’re definitely hitting that before you check out.”  

It was not right to feel the way he did whenever Peter said that, go home with you. Eli knew he meant New York, he meant their apartment, his old life, not him, but still, he couldn’t help it, the smile on his face when he read it over texts and when Peter said it again now. “Well, there’s no point in thinking like that now. The important thing is that you’re here, if that’s where you want to be.” He tried to sound encouraging because, despite everything, he truly was so proud of Peter’s achievements in London and he wouldn’t have been able to do those if he had stayed. He never wanted him to quit going after what he wanted, going after his dreams. “I’ll see you in the morning, Pe—” He didn’t get a chance to finish his protest, though, because he could never really deny Peter even when he knew it would be smarter, safer, to. Eli sighed in defeat, a quiet laugh escaping him because, he stood no chance. “It’s not fair you’re using breakfast to bribe me. You know I love breakfast.” He was already starting to follow Peter inside, shaking his head. “Come on, let’s get you to your room. You probably need a shower almost as bad as I do.” He stays just a step behind Peter too, as if trying to keep a distance between them no matter how small which was already so different from a moment ago with Peter’s arm around his shoulders. “I can order something while you shower if you’re hungry, or I can go to the deli around the corner, it should be open still. It’s New York.” He’s trying to keep the conversation casual because it had been two years and everything had changed since but this wasn’t new for them, and Eli didn’t want to make things awkward or make it too obvious that things had, in fact changed, because it wasn’t fair. Not to Peter. “Damn, I forget how nice Grace’s taste is... this room is pretty awesome.” He says as he looks around, taking off his jacket, walking closer to the window. “We surely don’t have this view from our apartment.” He notes, looking back towards Peter over his shoulder. 

[elixaaron]

peterxmurrayx​:

    peter ponders eli’s question for just a second . will you ever want to go back to the classroom after that? it was a good question . he’d thought about it & even now , he was still unsure . he was unsure about a lot of things at this point in time . “ i don’t know . ” if only he could be that honest about other things . “ there’s a lot i don’t know right now , eli   ” he can’t even finish saying that without wanting to laugh just because he was a 34 year old man that didn’t know what he was doing with his life anymore . “ you’d think that i’d have everything together , right ? but nope . i’m … such a mess these days . ” the effect of the little bit of alcohol he’s had made the words tumble out a little easier , without too much thought . peter smiles at the next question though . “ you know the answer to that question . i don’t think i’ll ever actually get any book published as awesome as that’d be , ” he was still way too self conscious of his own writing to do that sort of thing , “ i’d own my own bookstore . ” he answers , reminding eli of the dream he’s had since college . maybe before . the brown gaze steadily watching him doesn’t go unnoticed . peter meets his eyes a couple of times as he talks , but he can’t hold that gaze right now . he’s taking another drink when eli mentions slowing down   he is drinking a bit fast , but he did intend to get a bit tipsy tonight … as sad as it was , it didn’t take much . blue eyes lookover at eli just in time to catch the wink thrown his way & he just grins & shakes his head , “ i’m fine ! i’m a little lightheaded , but i promise , i’m okay ! ” he says , chuckling . “ i’m not a cute drunk , not at all . ” that was an understatement . someone as light weight as he was , it was never ‘ cute ’ . “ i am a bit jet lagged though … i took like , a 3 hour nap at the hotel though , i’m okay right now . ” he explains though he was still tired . if he were in bed right now , he’d be fast asleep .

    he finishes his rambling with another gulp of his drink , he sets it down on the bar top & he smiles   his rambling was one of his more disliked traits & hearing that eli missed it made him feel a bit warm & fuzzy inside . “ my mom already invited us to dinner   so if you’re free sometime next week , she’s ready for us to visit . me really , but she included you . ” with his parents there was no ‘ peter ’ , it was always ‘ peter & eli ’ , they expected eli to join him . “ the room is booked for the week , but if i have to extend , i can . ” it was weird to be in the city & not stay at ‘ home ’ , or well , eli’s place as it was now , but he’d stay at the hotel as long as he had to . “ mm , ” he hums , eyes narrowed at nothing in particular as he thinks about eli’s question . he takes the water & sips it , abandoning the last bit of his drink . “ my head is okay . don’t worry about me   i’m okay ! ” he says with a laugh as he subconsciously moves closer just to reach out to touch eli’s shoulder , his hand falling down his arm where he offers a gentle squeeze to reassure him . “ we can head back to the hotel , yeah . ” he’s tipsy just enough    his head was light , he felt a bit more giggly , tired & uncoordinated ( story of his life ) . “ too bad we can’t go for a swim tonight   that’d be fun ! ” he’s already abandoned his water & drink , stepping back from the bar but not without hooking his hand under eli’s arm to urge him to stand from the bar stool . “ i’ll wait for you outside , ” he assumes eli has some goodbyes to say because this was his life , he didn’t want to force himself in it   he didn’t exactly know his place anymore . he offers his best friend a smile as he steps back , away . peter was tipsy . he stumbles just slightly as he weaves his way through the sea of bodies & outside . he takes a deep breath when he does step outside   the new york air was refreshing despite how polluted it was . he felt like he could breath for the first time in at least a year . life in london was a bit suffocating in ways that peter couldn’t explain right now . it was too much . when he turns to look at eli , he’s still got a big smile on his face . “ look at that , you don’t have to drag me around tonight   i’m still on my own two feet ! a little tipsy , but i haven’t tripped yet , that counts for something , right ? ” 2 years away over seas & peter still knew these streets well enough that he was going in the right direction . he throws an arm over eli’s shoulder , leaning on him just enough . “ you’re the only person that doesn’t dread my rambling , you know that ? ” including oliver , he thinks to himself . “ i love that . i missed that . ” he looks at him , smiling . 

"That’s fine, no one really knows what they’re doing.” Eli offers, and he meant it, too. He didn’t know what he was doing half of the time. He just did it, things, and wished for the best. Even if he was in a good spot right now, it had taken him a very long time, much longer than it had taken Peter, to find his footing. He just had to find ways to keep him distracted and work was suddenly perfect for that, his career taking off big time in the last year or so. He wasn’t going to mention that because then he’d had to explain why, and the why—well, he wasn’t ready to get into that yet either. “Great, so now you’ll be working in one so you can take all the notes for when you get to own your own. I can see it. I can totally see you owning your own bookstore.” It would be very fitting for him, too, and Eli knew Peter would be the most happy there. That’s all he wanted for his best friend, really, for him to be happy. 

Eli drops a $20 on the tips jar at the bar, the bartender handing him his phone which he had left charging there before he follows Peter out, a bottle of water in hand. He find it cute and amusing at the same time, how lightweight his friend was, how that hadn’t changed in all the years, and how he still had to drag him back even if Peter was taller and heavier than him. “How about I get you some 99¢ pizza on the way there? I don’t normally splurge like this so, consider yourself lucky!” He joked, wrapping an arm around Peter’s instinctively as the other leaned on him, meeting him outside the bar. He had come after Peter quickly, not sure why he had left without waiting for him but not thinking about it too much either. “Are you sure your mom wouldn’t mind? Me coming over for dinner? I mean, I bet there’s a lot they’ll want to catch up with you.” Eli brings up, looking for conversation to keep Peter engaged as they walked in the direction of the hotel. “A swim right now would be fun but probably not safe. I’ll come over tomorrow and we’ll get to try that pool. It won’t go anywhere!” Grinning, he just shrugs. The small gestures at the bar, the hug, those hadn’t lasted as long or were as intimate as this now as his moved his arm from under Peter’s and wrapped it carefully around his friend’s waist for a steady hold, and even if it was also so very normal between before, it felt different now. He cleared his throat, pushing the bottle of water towards Peter as his other arm remained around his friend. “I really don’t believe that. I’m not the only person who doesn’t dread your rambling. I can’t be.” Their eyes meet and Eli smiles, and for a moment, he gets lost in Peter’s eyes and his own smile, and fuck. He missed that. He missed him. “Well, I rather not put your two feet to the test, besides, we’re just around the corner of your hotel now. We’re almost there.” He wasn’t dragging Peter, per se, but he was just, adding an extra layer of support, of sorts. “Make sure to keep that water near your bed, yeah? You’ll probably need it in the morning. You can text me when you wake up and I’ll come over. I might try to start moving some stuff from your room, too, so you don’t need to extend your stay... unless we want to keep access to the pool for another week. That’s fine too!” Eli teased, mostly, as they approached the entrance of the hotel, disentangling himself from his hold on Peter, giving his friend a long glance. “You sure you’re good?” He asked again, smiling because it was still so good to say this, to see Peter standing right in front of him, to know they had tomorrow, and the day after, and so on. “I still can’t believe you’re here.”

[elixaaron]

peterxmurrayx​:

    “ oh yeah , the blind date thing . ” peter remembers from their long text conversation just a day ago .  knowing wells ( even just as the friend of the friend ) it sounded about right . all this time , peter assumed eli was probably dating   why wouldn’t be be seeing someone ? his mind immediately goes back to that moment 2 years ago , before he left . it’d been so long though , peter convinced himself that eli was way past that . zach’s words do run through his mind right then , ok but you know him better than anyone i bet , do you think he’ll bring it up ?  & knowing eli … he wouldn’t . he lets out a little huff at that thought . he sort of laughs it off , that grin still doesn’t falter even as certain things cross peter’s mind . the mention of ‘ what if’s ’ makes him want to laugh though because he had plenty of those cross his mind the past few months . so , so many what if’s . “ that isn’t to say i don’t , i think everyone has ‘ what if’s ’ , ” honestly , peter could think of many , but maybe that alluded to his bad habit of overthinking so much .  

     thankfully , peter did remember all the plans they made . he planned on holding eli to it   he had so much to make up for & if eli was so down , if he made it so easy to fall back into them then peter would happily fall back into it . “ i remember most of it   we’ll get to it all , i hope . in time . ” he smiles as he says that . his life with eli was dearly missed , in all aspects . peter wanted more memories , more moments , more time . he took it away from them both & as it turned out , he never regretted anything more than that . then leaving like he did . “ that road trip , i’m really gonna hold you to that one . ” he can’t help but turn to look over his shoulder when eli rolls his eyes at who peter assumed was the bartender , he does sort of glance back , but the cute little wink thrown his way is distracting enough . “ oh , thanks , ” the second round is handed to him as it dawns on him a second later what’s said next & he does laugh , but he also shoots eli a knowing look . “ stop it , ” he reaches out to rest his hand on eli’s forearm , the words come out in a playfully pleading manner . peter knows he’s teasing him & it was cute , but he did think about him . a lot . the thought drives him to reach for the drink he hasn’t finished yet & he downs it quick enough ( too quickly , maybe ) . it makes his head feel a bit light . “ i got lucky reaching out to garrett when i did   it was a case of good timing … refreshing is an understatement . i love teaching , but i want to do other things … like work in a bookstore , apparently . somehow , that feels like a break . ”

       as eli goes on about his career , peter just watches him as he says every word . it makes him smile , hearing that eli was doing good . “ fun is good to have . i’m glad you’re doing this , that you have this … i’m glad work is going good , too . you can’t ever go wrong with a steady income & flexibility   i wouldn’t know what that’s like . 9-5 over here . probably later now considering . ” he wasn’t looking forward to that .  “ that’s really good though , eli . i knew you’d make it , that you’d figure it all out . maybe i can say that for myself in the next year . ” here he was , 34 & making another ( hopefully the last ) big move in his life , a big change . london wasn’t enough for him , not nearly enough it turned out . it changed everything . he had a lot to figure out , he was well aware . as eli makes sense of peter’s question , he just shrugs & looks down at the drink in his hand , a frown of his own comes & goes fairly quickly . “ yeah , i    i mean , i don’t know . i didn’t know what to expect . ” he answers as honest & as vaguely as he could , because there were things that just haven’t been talked about & peter wasn’t sure if it ever would be . he looks over to meet those dark eyes & when he does , he can’t really look away so easily . he smiles , but it’s a bit small compared to his normal . “ i hope so , ” he searches eli’s eyes for something , but that’s when he looks away again because maybe he isn’t ready for what he’d find . 

     “ i did just invite you to the pool , ” he repeats to emphasize , his smile growing into a grin again especially as he’s reminded of their texts . “ i know . i remember . ” fuck everyone else’s opinion . he liked that . “ no more thinking like that , i promise . ” now is when he’d bring up how they left things & why he felt like that , but that meant bringing things up that peter wasn’t sure eli wanted to talk about . “ i guess it’s just been … way too long . ” he twirls his drink around a bit . that was an understatement . “ & that isn’t really , well … normal for us , so . ” he looks up & gestures to their surroundings , “ i needed this … to be back home . ” offering up a nod , he feels quite strongly about that especially now since being here & experiencing it all again , being back with eli . “ i’m definitely not doing that again . ” he says more to himself than to eli , he also brings his glass up for yet another sip & he definitely feels the effects of the alcohol just enough to recognize . that makes him giggle a little to himself . “ i’ve only been to the airport , in an uber , twice & here , so … if you aren’t busy , you can help me get reacquainted with the city tomorrow , after swimming . i do have to go sign papers at the bookstore . i start in a couple of weeks , they’re gonna give me some time to get settled . which is great , i made arrangements for my things to arrive later this week … speaking of , i can clean up my room , if you’re busy … i’m    sorry , i’m talking way too much right now , i’m gonna stop now . ” what was new , he thinks to himself as he gulps down another drink .

What ifs was something Eli didn’t allow himself to dwell too much on. What if he hadn’t said anything 2 years ago? What if Peter had stayed? What if they hadn’t kissed? What if Peter didn’t have a boyfriend? What he could’ve just given himself a chance to move on? There was no point going on about something he didn’t have answers to, or a decent explanation for, so he ignored it as best as he could, just like he tried to ignore his own feelings. It had worked so far, after all, so why start wondering about what ifs now. He shrugged at Peter’s point though, hiding his own conflict behind his beer as he took another drink. He wanted to believe he didn’t have any but maybe he had just too many to count. 

“Right, the road trip.” Eli frowned as he tried to remember all the things they had planned for via text the previous night. They had been texting for hours, which was something they hadn’t done in such a long time. “Graceland and... the aliens?” He laughed, shaking his head a little. Of course Peter would suggest something like that but he couldn’t even be mad about it. Besides, Eli would comply. He always complied to whatever Peter said or wished for. Even now, getting his best friend another drink 3, 4 max, even though he knew it’d mean he’d have to drag his ass back to the hotel eventually. “I’m just saying, you know, there was probably a time I could’ve smelled you keeping something from me miles away and... I totally didn’t see it this time. I hate it. I should’ve known!” He’s still mostly amused and ecstatic about Peter’s surprise but part of him was disappointed too, because there was so much between them right now neither seemed to be willing to bring up and, quite frankly, Eli didn’t even think they should. There was a void that was hard to ignore, though, and it was physically painful at times. “You’re going to love working at the bookstore, I know it. The question is, will you ever want to go back to the classroom after that?” He added, trying to distract himself, focus on something else. “I mean, what do you really, really want to do? What’s your crazies, most far-fetched goal, right now, don’t think about it, just... what is it? Do you want to be a best selling author or, I don’t know, teach at Harvard or something? Just go for it. What would it be?” Eli smiled encouragingly, expectantly. He wanted Peter to be happy, to feel fulfilled. If there was anything he could to help that he would do it. He was just curious if his best friend’s aspirations had changed, too, in the last two years. Peter’s eyes are avoiding him, but he doesn’t look away. He just stares. takes in every feature of his profile. Fuck, he missed him. So much.

“If you don’t slow down there, we might end up slipping into that pool as we stumble our way to that hotel me dragging your drunk ass... a cute one but drunk, still.” Eli teases, another wink in Peter’s way. “Between your jet lagged and these drinks, I feel partly responsible for it. I shouldn’t have let it happen.” But he couldn’t deny Peter. That was a known fact. Besides, they were celebrating. He needed Peter to know, despite everything, even if they didn’t speak about it, he was really, truly happy to see him, to have him there. The smile on his face was impossible to wash off. He couldn’t stop smiling. “Enough about that. We were at very crazy timezones and, you know, life... but it doesn’t matter now cause you’re back. You’re home.” It’s cute when he starts to ramble, though, calling the bartender for some water though his eyes remain carefully on his friend. “You’re not talking too much. I kinda... missed that, too. “And you have some weeks to readjust to this crazy city, and to get your nephews and nieces to torture you for a bit, too. I bet your family can’t wait for you to visit. Don’t worry about your room. I’ll take care of it. How long are you staying at the hotel for again?” He asked, frowning a little as he tried to take a mental note of things. Eli assumed Peter would want to be with his family for a while, too. He also didn’t want to overstep or abuse his presence. He’d give him the space he needed. If he needed it. “I’ll be there whatever you need, Peter, but let’s worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Do you wanna perhaps head back to the hotel? How’s your head?” He asked as he simultaneously pushed the glass of water closer. 

[elixaaron]

peterxmurrayx​:

     peter shrugs a shoulder , brushing off eli’s words about him bein exhausted . “ i’ll be alright , ” he was tired , but there wasn’t anywhere else he wanted to be . eli played on his mind so much, the past few days especially , when he decided to do this , officially . “ royalton park avenue   my mom insisted and i’m not complaining . ” the rooftop pools was enough for him to cave . grace wanted him to stay at their place , at home , but the hamptons were too far out of the way from surprising eli . peter giggles when eli’s holding a hand out & mentioning a spare key to his room   to be fair that was probably smart & it absolutely crossed his mind at check in . “ i do , actually   i thought ahead . ” he says simply , already having retrieved his wallet & pulled out the card . he hands it over to eli . “ for business or for pleasure . ” he assures eli that he was ok with both of those scenarios . “ tomorrow ! ” he exclaims , locking it in because having plans with eli ? he was already back to his normal ways   sharing everything with him , including him in damn near everything he did… that was their normal before london . he wasn’t sure if they’d get back to that or not , but it was already a bit promising . eli’s words keep that smile on his face & as he raises his glass to cheers , he also shrugs his shoulders . “ i don’t know . you could have plans with people ! or someone . ” he’s almost surprised he didn’t . “ i’m glad that isn’t the case   for the sake of not interrupting . ” & maybe for selfish reasons , too . he takes another sip of his drink . 

     “ after two years , i’d hope it did me some good . i sacrificed a lot going out there & now , i’m not quite sure it was worth it . ” it’s that moment that he remembers how easy it is to open up to eli . he hadn’t even been around him for an hour & he was already wanting to say more & more . he couldn’t though , not about everything , not without bringing up certain … things that he was very unsure about bringing up . “ i know . ” he says this & it’s the first time he really looks away from eli . he didn’t have an excuse . they didn’t talk much after london & as many times as peter thougt to text eli , it always crossed his mind that maybe eli didn’t want to talk to him . not after that kiss & him finding out peter was with someone . “ i wanted to tell you   i wanted to text you , a lot , but … ” london happened , the kiss happened . he shrugs it off . now was not the time . “ - then i thought surprising you would be better . ” he finishes & takes a drink , that one wasn’t just a sip . being away from this crazy , stressful city had it’s cons , peter thinks to himself . being told that he looked perfect wasn’t something he heard normally & it makes him laugh . he shakes his head , too , scoffing at the use of the use of the word . “ perfect ?! don’t even go there   i don’t know if london did anything for me per se , you’ve been in this crazy , stressful city & you still look good , better than i remember , even . ” eli looked good when he went out to visit him in london , too but … maybe not seeing him in so long really affected the way he saw him now . 

     his eyes light up when eli mentions new beginnings . he liked that . as much as he wished he could go back & change things , he couldn’t , so maybe this was second best   a new beginning . “ to new beginnings , ” he repeats with a smile . their texts over the past 30 ish hours were nice , seemingly never ending & they made him wish he texted eli sooner . “ distracted is one way to put it . ” that makes him giggle . they just fell back into things , so easily , so quickly . “ but uhm , garrett   he was a professor at columbia with me , he’s the assistant manager at three lives , he got me in . it’s not anything , crazy , but i think i’ll like it ! you know i love bookstores , books in general   it’ll be fun , i hope . so no teaching for me right now … but it’s never out of the question . if i wanted to , i can always try to go back . i’ll enjoy not having papers to grade for the next little while . ” as much as he might complain , he did enjoy it . “ what about you ?? i .. i don’t think i asked either . ” that makes him chuckle again , those texts really did get out of hand , so to speak . “ you’re doing gigs , that’s good   that’s fun ! i missed watching you … you’re still writing though , right ? ” of course he was , just like peter was . he watches eli as he takes another drink , blue eyes looking at him over is glass & the sight really just … makes him smile   he can’t stop . “ i think i’m still in a bit of shock , too . ” he explains , just in case eli figured out that peter wasn’t really looking anywhere else , but at him . “ i wasn’t really sure how you’d react to me being here tonight , ” a part of him knew eli would be happy to see him , but there was some doubt . even as he stood here , in front of him … there was some doubt that maybe eli wasn’t as honest with him about some things . “ which is so stupid , right ? i mean , it’s you . it’s us .,, ” he laughs it off , but he’s looking at eli as he says that , maybe trying to … read him ? “ i really missed you , eli . ” 

“That’s... fancy. Look at you!” Of course Peter’s parents had persuaded Peter to enjoy his stay at a nice hotel upon his return. Eli didn’t find any of it one bit surprising, all too familiar with his best friend’s family to the point he just smiled and nodded, hand stretch out expectantly as he waits for a key. It also doesn’t surprise him when Peter does give him a spare. Old habits died hard, despite everything that had happened between them. His fingers wrapped carefully around the card, putting it away on his back pocket. “Well, you’re offering a pool on this hot summer day so whatever plans I had, consider them cancelled.” Eli had none. Not really. At least, not yet. Sure, spending a hot day indoors was worst than facing the heat outside so he would’ve eventually come up with something but none of that mattered when Peter was there, in person. “I mean, Wells insists in setting me up on this blind date whatever thing, but no. No people. No someone. No interrupting.“ He shrugs the thought away, not even sure why he brought it up in the first place, as if he just wanted Peter to know there was absolutely no one. He needed to get a grip!

Even if he was truly happy for, and proud of, Peter for going after his dream and moving to England, Eli couldn’t shake the bittersweet taste his parting left. Or worse, the way they had left things when he visited Peter in London. It wasn’t so much the two years but what had happened between them that really changed everything despite his best attempt, even now, at pretending nothing had. “At least you won’t have to deal wondering what if!” Unlike him, he thought. Yet he tried to sound upbeat, positive, supportive. He wasn’t completely disingenuous either, because they were best friends first and foremost. It was easy for Eli to put his own feelings aside when it came to Peter. Not painless, but he could manage. He was about to acknowledge that, how Peter should’ve still texted, how silly it was for him not to, but he also knew why that had happened and it was better to leave some things unsaid for now. He didn’t want to ruin this again. He already had, twice. The last two times they had seen each other. He couldn’t do it again. “You did surprise me. It’s a good surprise. I’m fucking excited. I mean it. And now we have all these plans... which I really hope you took note of because last night, last night was something. Let’s just say distracted is just putting it lightly.” A grin spread over his lips. He was overwhelmed. Between the realization that Peter was coming back and his texts with Wells, there was a lot on his head. He needed some sort of release. Smoking did help.

Eli calls the bartender for another round. He notices the guy behind the bar giving him a silent puzzled look, questioning who Peter was. He played at The Bitter End often enough to know the staff closely, except the bartender was new and he didn’t know Peter. Eli returned the looked with an amused roll of his eyes as he turned back towards his best friend with a second drink and a playful but honestly innocent wink. It was a tick, a bad habit of his. “So you really do have it all figure out and you only thought of telling me yesterday, geez.” He feigned being hurt but the smile on his face gave his teasing away. “That’s awesome, though, that you got that gig so quick and all. A break from teaching sounds... refreshing? I’m, you know, I’m in a good place right now. Got a few contracts as a columnist in a couple of publications so I have a steady income which is nice, but also a lot of flexibility. I finally feel like I made it in my career, or that, I’m on the right track. Playing here, well, it’s just fun.” Eli shrugged as if it wasn’t all that big of a deal. It was still strange, having to catch up with Peter. They didn’t catch up, ever, because they always knew exactly what the other was up to. He felt like that had been his fault, too, so he was trying to overcompensate, in a way. “You weren’t sure I’d be... happy to see you?” He frowned, shaking his head, because that was the farthest thing from the truth. He searched for his friend’s eyes, avoiding him, and waited until Peter was looking at him again before he continued. “It’s the stupidest thing you’ve said, yeah, I’ll agree. I will never not be happy to see you, Peter.” Even if the words were harsh, his tone was not. He wanted to reach out but didn’t. There was some space between them that wasn’t there before, self-imposed. “I missed you, too. You better get rid of that kind of thinking because I won’t have it. Besides, you just invited me to the pool tomorrow. If I wasn’t happy to see you before, I sure am now. Promise.” Eli offered, hoping to lighten the mood. “Fuck everyone else’s opinion, remember? We’re fine, Peter.”