enakogan

[enakogan]

Maybe... Maybe a little nap wouldn't hurt... Right? The flowers here... So sweet. Nice. Smells like ... Home.

[enakogan]

Honey, is that you?

Im sorry, I don't.. I don't even know what to say. You've grown into a beautiful woman, and I don't think I ever told you that enough. Why did you have to leave? Wasn't my care enough? Didn't I teach you better than this? Honey... I didn't raise you to be like this. But I don't even remember how I raised you. I have no choice but to believe I have created a soldier, an obedient lapdog. You could've been so much more, sweetie. It's too late for you. Now, all that remains, is your ma waiting for you. That is the least you could do for me.

You're hurt, my baby. Rest, and dream for a few years more.

Mama? Mama. Please. I didn't. I had.

I had to. You know I had to. I couldn't. I couldn't handle their touch anymore. I kept running but he. He helped me. Even if I'm the way I am now, he got me out of it. Mama, please, believe me.

I visit your grave, still. I clean it all the time. I know you would have cleaned me when I was at my lowest point.

I want to rest, mama. But I can't.

[enakogan]

This is your father, kid. I'm sorry I am not there to see you, to watch you grow like I should have. I hope you're a better person than I ever could be, and that you made yourself a better life than I ever could grant you. I wish you nothing but the best until we meet again, because eventually we will. One day you will die, and with your history it will most likely be gorey, pitiful, lonely. You cannot keep lying to yourself, pretending you're not just a little girl putting a tough exterior to pretend you're not afraid. Afraid of changing for the worse, afraid of getting hurt, afraid of repeating the cycle of abuse you've been put under. Still, you chose to get hurt by him, and you stayed. You always have been weak minded, always have been... Too childish. Maybe I should've given you more years to enjoy being a kid. Maybe you deserve to be a kick-able, pathetic, whimpering kid.

Loves you dearly,

D?adbb!nqnnwn!!nn2++3+3+3!3!2!2! .

.

.

.

.

.

I know you're not him. But you sound like him. He doesn't... He's somewhere in Russia, buried in the ground. Yet you sound like him. I miss my mom. I miss her. I hate him. Hate this.

Why now. Why when I'm getting better.

Why now.

[enakogan]

Yeah wait until you have seven autistic racoons in a trenchcoat ask if it jiggles.

I feel like I should welcome you! Welcome to fucking hell! People are feral, beware.

- @enakogan

Thank you? I like to think I can handle a few... feral people.

[enakogan]

🔎 perchance?

Last three search terms...

"cute knitting patterns"

"Rose knitting pattern"

"coughing up blood, what do I do?"

[enakogan]

Data Leak!!

( vaguely ) inspired by Mass Effect 2′s shadow broker dossiers My muse’s data has been compromised! Send a symbol to discover:

💬 - A private correspondence

📝 - A private record ( Ex. Criminal, Medical, etc… )

🎤 - An audio transcript from a recording

🌐 - Their most frequently visited websites

🔎 - Their last 3 search terms

🛒 - Their last 3 purchases

🎥 - The last 3 movies/tv shows they watched

🎮 - The last 3 games they played

❌ - A piece of information that could be considered blackmail material

Specify muse for multimuses!

[enakogan]

Ena, do you still have that scar on your lower back? Do you look over your shoulder, hoping I will be there to give you the approval you need? Do you, perhaps, cry at night, alone and cold, and wonder if I will come back to tuck you back in? Do you regret throwing away the life you need for the life you wanted? Has your wish been fulfilled yet, and you have finally realized how much better you would be if someone were to guide your potential? You could have been what you were made to be and more, much more. There still is very little time for you, despite the disagreements and rebellious attitude. I suppose, somewhere deep inside my rotten heart, there is forgiveness for you. One you do not want to have.

Then, once more, you always got attached to the wrong individuals. And you always managed to dissapoint them.

— #######

Fuck you. Fuck you. I hate you, y'know that? God, just when I was getting happy. You miss me that bad? God, you're so obsessed, it's honestly fucking creepy. You're creepy.

You do not get to talk about tucking me in, you don't get to talk about the life I wanted after you tormented me, after you carved your name into my skin, after you drugged me constantly. Sure, Adler was just as bad, but Woods? He isn't like that. He doesn't need to harm me physically to get a point across.

I don't cry myself to sleep. Not over you. Never over you. I'm finally somewhere I can call home. A true home. Not something covered up, not something fake. Somewhere where I can sit down and not worry about being randomly brought into a mission I'm too young to understand.

Get bent, Ты раковый кусок сала.

[enakogan]

I still have my puppy plushie. He's being well taken care of. I fed him cookie :)

[enakogan]

Do you think you will find a quiet place to settle down one day?

Maybe... One day. Gosh, settling down makes me sound like I'm a grandma, huh? But I kinda plan on it.

[enakogan]

For some reason I think you'd enjoy knitting

Knitting...? I mean. I have some experience in it. I should pick it back up... It was a nice experience. Maybe I can make a cute hat!

[enakogan]

I love feeling like a real person. I don't feel like I'm in a loop anymore. I don't feel like everything is... Fake. Everything feels real.

I don't feel like I'm just a side character who has nothing special going on... I love it.

Finally, normal.

[enakogan]

Knock knock, im at the door :3

I also brought some snacks, beer, and some shitty movies, if you want to watch them !

- @enakogan

Hell yeah, kid, come on in.

He gladly welcomed her, indulging freely in the shitty movies and snacks, but skipping out on the beer. Maybe because for once, he was living something he didn’t want to forget in the haze of drunkenness.

[enakogan]

I bet you have seen many nights skies, favorite constellation or star?

Andromeda. I like to think it looks like a girl making snow angels! Or just a girl lounging in a field of flowers...

[enakogan]

Y'know what. I'm feeling nice. I'll leave you alone, you don't even matter to my cause anymore. I have better people to use for this.

- @ask-castle

Hah. Good. Fuck you. Seeing I'm finally getting better and not as mentally fucked?

Get better, get bent. x

[enakogan]

How about instead of going to the rook, you go to therapy. How about you get PRESCRIBED drugs and you take them NORMALLY.

No, unprescribed drugs help better because I take as much as I want and nobody stops me!!!

Also, ew, therapy, who has time for Shrinks. Am I right lads, or am I right lads?

Also, the rook is my safe space :((

[enakogan]

i am EVIL ena. I'm YOU but I have a LOVING family and THERAPY and I DON'T have DADDY ISSUES

Jackass, I had loving parents. I just. Lost them young.

Bold to assume I don't have mommy issues too.

[enakogan]

Have you ever tried those American iced teas?

American iced teas...? Who drinks tea cold? That's gross.

Joking. I love American iced tea. Refreshing, honestly!