enchantedalyx

[enchantedalyx]

Crawling my way back to digital art: A story of my art journey

Hi, I'm Alyx. I'm writing this post to share my art journey story and to hopefully inspire other artists to get their spark back and create art again, especially to those who have also stopped creating due to getting burnt out from art/life, but all along or recently have been aching to return.

So, here goes my story:

The first digital painting I created was when I was a little kid. My software: Microsoft Paint. My painting: the classic house drawing composed of the basic shapes surrounded by all the nature elements – trees, flowers, a smiling sun in the corner or in between the mountains, butterflies, and all that. I loved art class the most (hated PE the most). I graduated elementary school with the "Best in Coloring" award. I also got all the "Best in Science" award and all that, but what made me the happiest was the art-related one. I really loved coloring. I love colors.

And then everything changed when the fire nation attacked: I got into a science high school.

A little open secret: Our high school contract doesn't allow students to enroll in a non-science course in college unless we pay millions so... you get where this story is going.

In high school, I had been sketching here and there, but never fully; algebra & chemistry was killing my brain. By the near-end of it, during the review for college entrance exams and on our 4-month vacation after graduation, I was really craving to digitally paint again (all along). I joined DeviantArt (but my initial account is gone because I deleted it... lesson learned: don't), tried entering contests (submitted traditional and digital pieces but never won a single one), and just drew and painted whatever I liked (mostly girls) in anime style. This time, I installed and used PaintTool SAI and used my laptop touchpad or mouse to paint and/or make lines.

I enjoyed the seemingly little time I had before the fire nation attacked again: I got into college with a really toxic science-related course that damaged my mental health. Again, algebra & chemistry, my life-long nemesis.

These were the darkest years I've had in my life for several reasons other than academics, but the journey through this dark tunnel has been dragging on for so long that when I was just about to come up for air, the pandemic happened. Wow, it really doesn't end. Back then, we didn't know when and how the pandemic will end, right?

I thought, if the world was ending, I might as well be spending my remaining time on earth creating art.

There was so much more I wanted to do; wanted to paint; wanted to learn. I refuse to die without achieving all that.

So, after graduating and getting my degree (alive, thankfully), it was time for the board exam review (I hated it). Back then, everything was held online. There were times when (plenty) that I find myself fingerpainting portraits on my mobile phone instead of listening attentively to the board exam instructor. I joined the art community on Twitter and got exposed to so various art styles and talented artists. Since the exam schedule got postponed and postponed, I had a bit of time on my hands.

August 2020: I got my very first pen tablet! Of course, with the limited time I have (before I face the reality that I need to take the board exam and get a job to survive this capitalistic world), I spent my nights and hours painting like a madwoman. I skipped learning the basics because I felt like my time was running out. I just drew whatever I wanted (again, anime, girls, and portrait art mostly), became active in the Twitter community and interacted with fellow artists, did commissions, joined DTIYs, participated in some free art talks and workshops online, made art for my friends, etc.

April 2021: I was able to upgrade my equipment and bought an affordable pen display using commission earnings! I was really so happy with it. Don't let anyone tell you equipment don't matter, and passion would suffice. My output was better quality-wise; the even the painting process I found more enjoyable.

Shortly after then, my time has ran out.

I took the board exam, passed and got my license, got a corporate job to pay the bills... you know, the typical path you follow to survive. I work in a field I'm really interested in and been learning a lot from, but it had me so burnt out in all aspects during the first 2 years or so that I basically had no time for anything else, even myself. Life had been playing its hardest games too. Eventually, I hid myself from the art community and kind of accepted one night that if I want to survive, I cannot pursue art in this lifetime.

Well, that sounded so depressing (it is) so let's skip to the part where I'm (trying to be) *drumrolls* back ;w; Right now, I'm blessed with a bit of overall balance in my life – time, security, energy, health, and passion.

This year 2024, I was able to wander through art exhibits, galleries, events, museums; was able to traditionally sketch something again last February and June; finished a digital painting piece to retrace my process last August; and ongoing some art classes/lesson assignments September-October 2024 (currently anatomy~). It really is a big thing to me that I'm incorporating art into my life again little by little.

You know, I think consistency is different from person to person. To me, being consistent is being able to show up at least once or twice a month to have a digital painting session or doing my lessons – because that's what I'm capable of giving right now whilst trying to survive in this world; doesn't matter if I finish a piece or a lesson, at least I made even a tiny bit of progress. Afterall, small progress is still progress, right?

I guess, what I wanted to say is that:

You can pick up your pen (stylus) and start again.

(And that I really am thankful to everyone – creators who have inspired me, art mutuals, clients, and everyone who has supported my art in any way.)