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June 29th, 2018

Thank you for being there when I needed you the most.

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Don’t settle for nice, for pleasant, for familiar. Keep looking until you find something that really moves you, that resonates with your core. And I mean this for people, for interests, for hobbies, for your possessions, clothes, music, books, art. Everything. Curate every aspect of your life, as much as you can. It’s in the things that deeply inspire us that we find ourselves. Surround yourself with truth, and you’ll have built yourself a heaven.

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In every second of our lives, we are doing the best we can with the information we have at the time.

It’s so easy to get lost in past regrets,

regretting what we said (or didn’t say),

regretting being too clingy (or distant),

regretting our actions (or inaction),

But there’s no point in hating yourself for the past because you just simply can’t change it. All you can do is learn, and see yourself as a new person everyday. We are not our past mistakes. Once we learn to forgive ourselves and others, we can see the true beauty in the human experience: everyone is constantly changing every second of their lives. People are always growing. Learning. Becoming a better version of themselves. Once we give ourselves that chance, once we let go of holding onto the past, we can create a brighter future for ourselves that goes beyond previous limitations.

I believe in a brighter future. I believe in every moment, we are all just doing the best we can. We are all assholes sometimes. We’re all just trying.

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March 30th, 2018

Where is the substance

The texture in conversation,

The reason I want to go out?

The late night conversations lasting until 3am about the things we’ve never talked about before-that’s why I used to get drunk, that’s why I went out at night and that’s why I let you buy my that drink because I hoped that you would share with me a part of your soul that you were afraid to share with anyone else

And that’s what sucks about getting older is that it doesn’t matter how many drinks you drink the motor kicks in and you become the robot you’re supposed to be

The liquor becomes oil to fuel the flames of the identity you were told to become and nothing is authentic

Nothing is authentic

Where do you lose yourself in the madness? What makes you feel alive? Where are the moments you think about absolutely no one but yourself? Where do you fall in love with life?

I see through men and their million dollar start up personalities with 20/20 vision. I’m bored. Show me something different.

I look myself in the mirror and ask the same questions.

Too much of one kind of glory.

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It doesn’t have to be the biggest, baddest, or loudest, but it is so important to speak

To express

To write

To communicate

To be in your truth

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“I seek only the high moments. I am in accord with the surrealists, searching for the marvelous. […] I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger than reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn’t impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another.”

— Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin: Vol. 1 (1931-1934)

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🌹 Instagram | Etsy Shop

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full of love (professionally diagnosed)

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I used to have friends in my life who called me a narcissist for thinking I was gorgeous and strutting because I thought I was the shit, and my god did those people suck! Glad I have people in my life now that I’m free to be myself around and support my confidence.

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There is confidence in her voice and her laugh drips with gold, she is bright red and sets the world on fire with her magnanimous presence. She can see through your body and straight to your soul in less than three seconds. She struts like God and holds heaven in the palm of her hand-

And you think you can destroy her?

You believe you have the power to own her?

You cannot put a cage around a hurricane.

You cannot hook a leash around a forest fire’s neck.

You cannot choke someone you can’t reach.

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When you believe you are god you can create realities beyond your wildest imagination. When you can see dimensions you can choose the life you’re willing to create. The story of the earth is suffering. I’m trying to move beyond it.

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art

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January lost its phone in the Cosmopolitan,

February believed in unconditional love,

March thought she experienced it,

April proved that February & March were delusional,

May showered champagne on her toxic relationships,

June's tears cascaded down her face as she realized she deserved to be loved,

July healed its way into new friendships,

August pirouetted under neon glitter bombs,

September became her own savior,

October partied backstage in a purple bear onesie,

November was seduced by another lie,

December found her truth & regained her power.