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the full month between these two tweets

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sorry i covered your neck in dark hickeys and clamped down hard on your throat like limp prey while i was giving you a handjob. you whimpered a little too soft and i blacked out and believed myself to be a feral dog in possession of an entire rotisserie chicken

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American vibe 😍

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We need etsy to get bought by someone who will run it like the navy i need to only see small businesses in eastern europe weaving baskets by hand and anime yaoi keychains with original fanart

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Incredible job by the 1980s BBC who decided last minute they needed to quickly explain why Switched on Bach doesn't have Wendy's name on it

(sex change) motion graphics

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also to give you an idea of just how badly the catholicism goes over my head i didnt get that the pool scene was baptism when i first read it because i thought baptism was only done by baptists.

i’m sorry but this is so fucking funny. baptism is only done by baptists and communion is only done by communists

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people be on here like “you make 60k a year?? shut up bourgeoisie”

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saying meat reveal in 20 mins and then dying in a car crash

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invented a game called “I throw dice at the cat”

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“dude what the hell you just fucking rear ended me”

“oh dude im so sorry. no for sure thats on me. let me just call my insurance guy to see if im covered”

“yeah, you better because im not fucking paying for this”

*guy gets on the phone*

“hey yeah can you come kill this guy i rear ended. yeah just. kill him i dont want to pay him money”

“what the fuck did you just say?”

“shhh, im on hold with my insurance guy”

*back on phone* “yeah i dont have insurance so i need you to come kill this guy right now on the side of the road”

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I’m pretty sure that as far as “infuriating helmets you’d hate to see before you get stabbed” go, this one is definitely up there

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im looking at this thread of someone pointing out that knowyourmeme documents mostly 4chan and reddit stuff and neglects even the most popular tumblr stuff and it’s so messed up. they don’t have oppa homeless style. they don’t have I see no difference love is love. they don’t have teacher resigned. they don’t have oysters. what do they even have.