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1.       “Cambridge University has recently been one of the leaders in music therapy studies. They say that the beat and flow of hip-hop puts the mind in a unique calm state. It affects the frontal lobe, the part of the brain that plays a key role in decision making. It is reported to positively impact the lives of those seriously coping with brain damage and illness.” This is a very interesting quote, and something I did not know myself.  However, I feel that Derwin should use more direct quotes in order to build up his Logos.

2.       The theme of the portfolio is very clean and goes well with his topic.  It is not too “in your face” and looks very nice. Also, it seems that he has a large passion for hip hop music, and the writing really shows it.  The writing keeps the reader interested in the piece.

3.       Argument 1 : Hip hop has a bad reputation, but a vast majority of the genre is actually very positive and has helped many get through tough times.  Argument 2 : Hip hop is bad because of the violent nature of the music.  Argument 3 : Hip hop is a waste of time and not a good music genre to listen to.

4.       For Derwin, good writing must have good grammar, diction, originality, and pathos.  All of Derwin’s writing had no grammatical issues that I could find.  His diction was great in all arguments, with his ideas flowing into one another very easily. However, I feel that he could benefit from more pathos in his first argument so the reader gets more of an idea of his personality.

5.       Derwin establishes his ethos in the introduction.  Here, we get a look into his thoughts and feelings as a writer.  In argument 3, Derwin showcases his pathos.  In this argument, we can see how Derwin really feels about this topic, as it is actually him speaking to us instead of his voice through writing.  In argument 1, Derwin builds up his logos with specific facts and quotes.

6.       As a reader, I do understand all of his arguments.  Although they are opposing sides to the same argument, both arguments make sense and are logical.  I can easily see millions of people siding with each of his arguments.

7.       Overall, it is a great start.  Try to work on having a little more factual evidence for argument one, and don’t forget citations for any research that you use.

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Self Assessment Reflection

Coming into this class, I honestly had no idea what to expect.  Obviously, I knew that I’d be doing a whole lot of writing, but my pre-conceived notion of what the class structure would be was way off.  I thought I’d be getting graded on each and every assignment, so I could get feedback from the teacher in the form of a letter grade.  I sure as hell was not expecting us to use Tumblr for everything.  After the first day, when Dr. KT gave us the ins and outs of the class, I was worried.  I didn’t like writing classes in high school, so my expectation of this class was that it would be a way worse version of what I already disliked.  I started off the quarter writing like I was trying to write a paper on the gravitational pull of the earth.  I wrote in a very matter-of-fact way and didn’t realize I was wrong until the first meeting I had with Dr. KT.

That first meeting was a wakeup call for me.  I realized that I wasn’t doing high school writing anymore.  I needed way more of my personality in it.  It was around this time that we started reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck more consistently, and I had a sudden realization one day while trying to finish up my homework for the class.  I needed to stop giving a f*ck.  Now, this doesn’t mean I took a “here for a good time, not a long time” mindset and stopped doing my work entirely.  What I really needed to do is strop caring what people reading my work would think. I needed to let my thoughts pour onto the keyboard.  I started to realize that my writing is exactly that: my writing.  I could be myself and express my thoughts however I wanted.  I began to understand that I disliked writing in high school because of the overly structured curriculum.  Once I got to an environment where I could complete an assignment pretty much however I wanted, I started to have fun writing.  This class has taught me so many important aspects of writing, whether it be audience, voice, or rhetorical situation.  Dr. KT did a great job of making the class comfortable with each other in order to improve class discussions.  At first, I was reserved and quiet in this class, but as time went on I’ve tried to be myself and jump into discussions.  Overall, I’ve had an outstanding experience in WRIT 1122.  I can’t even imagine a writing class at a massive university with 200+ kids in the class.

Rate my Student

Overall Quality: 3.9/5

Comments: Evan is a solid student who has shown good improvement over the quarter.  Although he may miss a class every once in a while, he does his best to stay caught up and turns in the majority of his assignments on time.  Evan has really gotten better at having his voice come through in his writing.

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Maps: Take 2

My poorly drawn doodle is meant to represent my flow in my writing. One thing that I’ve been actively trying to improve in my writing this quarter is my flow. No, I’m not talking about my luscious, flowing hair or my rap ability. I’ve always struggled with making my main ideas in my writing work cohesively together to make one well structured paper. This quarter, I’ve really started working on reading my writing out loud to myself to make sure everything sounds okay. Most of the time, it sounds okay for the most part, but one section isn’t quite there. In my picture I tried to represent this with the part under the “F”. As you can see, it doesn’t quite “flow” with the rest of the picture, and it’s a little messy. I’d like to be able to make my work flow throughout the entire thing.

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Sunday Something

Hung out with my brother in Golden this weekend. Got to chill with his dog and went for a solid hike. Overall a great way to spend a weekend.

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The unveiling of a writer

I’m straightforward

Kinda boring

Always tired

Sometimes snoring

Based on facts

Factual

Can’t act

Actual

Inspired by music

Inspired by song

I try my best

I may be wrong

I’m kinda lost

Don’t know who I am

But when the thought comes,

It hits me. BAM!

I feel that I am a very straightforward and factual writer.  I struggle with writing fiction because I have a hard time turning my imagination into words that people can understand.  I think my writerly identity was influenced by years of the same type of writing being taught to me.  I tend to do best on writing assignments that I need to do research for, and I need to include that research in my writing.  This year, I really enjoyed writing my arguments on whether eSports are sports.  I have become much more proficient at persuasive writing.  I also enjoyed the process of writing from the opposite perspective.

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Let’s have a moment

At the beginning of this course, it was difficult for me to stop writing everything as if it was an academic paper.  I felt like a damn robot because all my writing was structured the same.  All my life I had pretty much written the same way, so obviously it was tough to drop that habit.  The whole concept of blog writing was foreign to me.  In high school writing classes, we are never really taught to write with different styles.  It’s pretty much only academic writing.  I’ve never really been challenged with putting my personality in the writing, so this was something I struggled with at first.  However, I realized the secret: don’t give a flying fuck about what people are going to think.  Just write what’s on your mind.  From week 1 to week 5 I would spend way too much time on the assignments for the class, just overthinking them.  I’d try to write what I thought people wanted to see, not what I wanted to see.  I was never satisfied with my work until I stopped giving a fuck about what it was supposed to be.

 Learning about audience has helped me understand how to write effectively.  The activity where we made 3 separate messages, one to the professor, one to our grandmother, and one to our friend, really opened my eyes on how important understanding the audience is.  I feel like this activity was a turning point for me because writing 3 messages about the same thing 3 different ways, one after another, really helped me understand the audience.  I felt as if I did very well on this on my columns.  I realized that I was writing a supposed sports column, so my audience would be looking for both information and entertainment.  I decided to throw in as much of my personal voice as I can, and I honestly loved writing them.

 Having a class with the freedom to write basically whatever I want has really helped me enjoy writing as a subject much more.  In every other writing class I had taken up until this point, it has been very structured and the teacher decided what we would write, for the most part.  I felt suffocated in these classes because I had always believed writing to be venting what’s on your mind.  With a very set structure, we had no freedom to write about what we wanted to.  This year, though, I’ve started to enjoy writing so much more.  We have so much freedom in this class and it’s nice to be able to write about shit I actually care about.  I’ve found it to be so much easier to write about topics I’m interested in.

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Murder! Rhetorically Speaking

Detective Report

I was called to the scene around 10:45 PM on June 6, 2010.  Apparently, the body had been discovered a few minutes earlier, at 10:37 PM. It took me a few minutes to arrive at the scene, which was a parking garage.  There was a large amount of blood.  The victim, Mark Smith, was identified by his wallet, still in his pocket at the time of his death.  It seemed as if nothing had been stolen from him, judging by the fact that he still had his Rolex watch on his wrist and the amount of cash in his wallet.  The victim had over $500 in cash.  He had endured at least 6 stab wounds to the chest, but the more striking aspect of the scene was the fact that the victim was missing both middle fingers.  Motive still unknown.

1.       I began with stating the facts given to me in the reading and ended with the motive still being unknown.

2.       I added the details that he still had all his cash and belongings.  I also added the fact that he was missing both middle fingers. I did this, so the reader knows it wasn’t a robbery, and so they are forced to think why the suspect would cut off the fingers.  I omitted no details.

3.       I used words that I thought were professional and a little dry.

4.       I used a direct/straightforward tone.

5.       I ordered the information in a way I thought made sense and flowed well.

6.       I based my writing off what I’ve seen in TV shows and movies.

Coroner Report

I received the body of 40-year-old Mark Smith at approximately 11:15 PM on June 6th, 2010.  Based off the level of oxygen in the victim’s blood, I’d have to guess he was murdered between 9 PM and 9:30 PM.  He endured 6 stab wounds to the chest.  He most likely died after the 2nd stab wound.  The victim arrived at the coroner’s office missing both middle fingers, and they were not found at or around the scene.  Perhaps they were taken by the killer as a souvenir.  

Eulogy

Mark James Smith was a loving friend, father, and co-worker.  Those who knew Mark can agree that his absolute favorite thing to talk about was his incredible son, James.  Mark was truly a kind soul.   Unfortunately, someone decided that this man should not live any further.  In a truly cold-hearted and brutal act, Mark’s life was cut far too short at the age of 40.  As per Mark’s wishes, his working organs will be harvested and put to use by another human.  His ashes will also be spread on the property he learned to love the outdoors, his Grandparent’s old house.  Mark’s legacy will be carried on by his son, James.

Closing Argument

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, we are gathered here today to hopefully put the defendant, Maria Smith, behind bars.  Ex-wife of the victim Mark Smith, Maria decided to enact the ultimate form of revenge on Mark for obtaining full custody of their child, James.  Somehow in Maria’s sick and twisted mind, the only way for her to become a mother again was to kill the father.  Maria showed abusive properties to both her son and ex-husband.  It is truly sickening that this child’s life is now completely turned upside-down due to a selfish and disgusting act by her “loving” mother.  Maria claims she did this act for her son, even though her son claimed repeatedly that he wanted her to be in no part of his life.  Please, jurors, let’s put this woman where she deserves to be: Prison.\

Discussion

1.       I found the detective report easiest to write because I just had to write about the facts I was given.

2.       I found the closing argument hardest to write because I had to come up with my own ending to the story.

3.       Being able to understand the rhetorical situation for a text is extremely important. The audience is whoever you believe is most likely to read the text, and you must base your writing accordingly.

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First-year Writing & Learning

The transfer of learning or knowledge occurs when one takes what they’ve learned in one subject or field and transfers certain aspects of that knowledge to a different situation. For example, I can take the writing strategies that I’ve learned in this class and use them in my business classes for papers.  Being able to transfer knowledge between classes is a skill that all students need to be able to do.  Many of the skills we learn throughout our core education are applicable to countless different situations.  I never thought that the 2 physics classes that I took in high school would help me so immensely in my business courses I’ve taken here at DU.  Obviously, it’s not like I’m trying to find the terminal velocity of a falling icicle in Gateway to Business.  However, those problem-solving skills that I cultivated in physics have helped me logically think through many problems requiring solutions.  Most of the time, these transfers occur without the student even realizing it.  I’ve come to notice, however, that most of my skills from previous courses transfer from the courses that I really enjoyed.  Physics was my shit in high school, and I learned that I love the logical processes needed to be successful in those classes.  It’s the reason I’m pursuing a minor in physics here at DU. Without taking those physics classes, I would struggle in many other classes because I would never have learned the problem-solving skills.

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Sunday Something

Went home this weekend to relax and spend time with family. I hate to say it, but I was more excited to see my dog than my mom.

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Revision vs. Editing

In my writing, I think of revision as changing a few lines or adjusting my vocabulary.  I usually go about this at the end of the text when I feel like I have all of my main ideas down.  Up until this point, I always assumed revision and editing were synonyms. I never really understood the difference between the two.  My usual post-writing process is to skim it over for spelling and grammar errors, maybe change a sentence or two if it doesn’t sound good, and then say “fuck it” while pressing the submit button.  I tend to struggle with changing my main ideas of a text.  The text we read compared the revision processes of students versus experienced writers.  One student had a revision process very similar to mine.  “Reviewing: ‘Reviewing means just using better words and eliminating words that are not needed. I go over and change words around’” (Sommers 381). This has been my revision process almost my entire writing career.  Comparatively, here is a revision process I need to improve on.  “Revising: "My cardinal rule in revising is never to fall in love with what I have written in a first or second draft. An idea, sentence, or even a phrase that looks catchy, I don't trust. Part of this idea is to wait a while. I am much more in love with something after I have written it than I am a day or two later. It is much easier to change anything with time." (Sommers 384).  It turns out, I have pretty much never been revising.  I’ve only been editing.  I partially blame the public-school system for never teaching us what true revision is, and partially blame myself for never giving enough of a shit to figure it out myself.  I need to improve on being unafraid to change my main ideas.  Revising is not just fixing what you’ve already written, it is being aware of better points you could have made.

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Reflecting on Reflection

According to Yancey, reflection is “a means of going beyond the text to include a sense of the ongoing conversations that texts enter into”. This means that reflection is not just thinking over what you just wrote, it is thinking beyond what you just wrote in order to pinpoint the rhetoric that may be generated from the text.  Reflection is very important because it helps the writer become more familiar with their work and encourages them to think about what the true purpose of the text is.  When I write, I feel as if I only truly reflect after I think I’ve completed the text. Once I believe I am finished, I like to read it through a few times and act as if I had never read the text before. I try to go into the reading with as little bias as possible and read it as a third party.  Usually, I make sure my points were effectively communicated, and I also try to nail down which arguments or points are the most powerful. After this, I call it a day.  I’d like to get better at reflecting not only after I write, but while I write.  If I could be thinking about the rhetoric that I can generate after each main argument, I feel like it would help me become a more proficient writer.  Just learning about rhetoric and rhetorical situation has helped me start this process in a way.  It’s nice to know what these terms are so I can help intricate them into my writing.  Reflection is arguably the most important aspect of writing.  Reflection helps you better understand the words that came out of your mind, it helps you realize the impact that the text can have.

Writing is everything. Writing is something we do every single day.  It is the basis of communication, it is the basis of human interaction.  An effective writer is an effective thinker, person, friend, and scholar.

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(En)trenchment

Giving a shit about your writing leads to effective writing.

In today’s educational structure, there are way too many instances of writing just to get the assignment done.  Often times, students have little to no interest in the topics they’re writing about, and they’re just trying to regurgitate what their teacher has told them to do. Unfortunately, being forced to write about things that they simply couldn’t care less about can turn away many potentially outstanding writers.  Throughout middle and high school, there is a common curriculum for English classes that the teachers must follow in one way or another.  This forces students to write about extremely dry topics, and often makes the writing seem like busywork.  Luckily, the college structure is much more loosely formatted and caters more to the writers themselves.  In this class, we have much more freedom to write about what we care about, meaning that better writing overall will be submitted.  It is much easier and much more enjoyable to share your thoughts on a topic that you’ve come up with yourself.  

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Where Good Ideas Come From

Good ideas come from collaboration. Collaboration in this sense just means conversing with others. The majority of my ideas come from speaking with friends, family, classmates, and even strangers. Just sharing thoughts with another human can help you start thinking about solutions to problems. For example, in the Johnson reading, he tells the story of the origin of YouTube. Chad Hurley, Steve Chen and Jawed Karim realized in 2005 that it the internet was not user friendly for trying to share videos. They decided to start YouTube in order to provide a easy and friendly way to share media on the World Wide Web. What was just an idea 15 years ago, is now arguably the most influential website on the internet. It’s hard to imagine the internet without YouTube. In my collage, the middle picture is supposed to represent collaboration. To the right is a poorly drawn Spotify logo. I’ve come to realize that the music that I’ve been listening to in a day directly reflects the kind of writing I do. Below that, I drew the mountains. The sheer beauty and magnitude of the mountains never ceases to amaze me, and a lot of my writing is inspired by them. To the left, I tried to draw a pair of skis. When I’m out on the mountain skiing, it helps me forget about all of my stresses and I feel as if my brain is completely clear. We have an incredible vessel just west of us, and I’d like to try to recreate how I feel as I ski in my writing. Next to the skis I have a steering wheel. Driving is one of my favorite things to do, and I’d like to follow in my fathers footsteps and learn to race. I’ve done competitive karting since I was 7 years old, and nothing compares to the sheer adrenaline and focus I feel when I’m trying to shave hundredths of seconds off my previous lap time. When I’m not racing, however, I find that being in the car alone and just driving helps clear my mind. Often times when I’m struggling on my assignments, I’ll just go take a half hour drive to unwind. I can think clearly when I’m driving aimlessly with no destination. Finally, I have a WWW to represent the internet. A lot of my ideas are influenced by what I see on my phone or computer. It’s truly incredible how much information we have at our fingertips, and I feel as if almost all writing today is influenced in some way by the internet.

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Sunday Something : Got really high this weekend. 13,010 feet to be exact.

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Theory of Writing: Take 1

My theory of writing is knowledge, practice, and improvement.  I’ve never thought of myself as a good writer.  It’s always been my weakest subject and I’ve gotten way too frustrated with writing way too many times.  When I was younger, I’d ask myself why I was so bad at writing while being fine at other subjects.  Over time, I think I created a mental block within myself, telling me that I’d always struggle with writing and there was nothing I could do about it.  Over the past 2 years, however, I’ve been working to break down that block.  I’ve started to realize that I can, in fact, improve.  I had an outstanding English teacher senior year of high school who gave me a piece of advice I will never forget.  “You can’t just be shitty at writing and accept that.  You have to change it.  No matter what you end up doing in life, you need to write.  So take what you know, practice, and you’ll improve.”  To this day, whenever I’m writing, I think about what she told me.  I try not to get myself down when I’m struggling to write, and I’ve felt myself improve over time.

There was a boy, pretty smart

But not at writing, not at art

He thought that was it, his work was done,

He’ll never be good, not by a long run

His teacher told him, on one day

To keep practicing, so, thank you Ms. K.

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Rhetoric: Then and Now

For this assignment, I chose to interview my brother.  He is currently a senior at the Colorado School of Mines studying mechanical engineering. I decided to choose my brother because he’s a pretty smart guy and since he’s studying mechanical engineering, he probably hasn’t taken an English class since freshman year.

Evan: Alright, first question.  What is rhetoric?

Jacob: Oof, its been a while.  Uhh, isn’t rhetoric like persuasive writing?

Evan:  Yeah, kinda.  Rhetoric is in fact persuasive, but it doesn’t have to be just writing. Rhetoric is pretty much persuasion in general.  It heavily depends on your audience, and we’ve learned to identify and cater to the audience in order to get the point across more effectively.

Jacob: Isn’t your entire English class about rhetoric?  I know I’ve been taught what it is, but I feel like we never went in depth.  Or If we did, I just forgot.  

Evan: Have you read MLKs letter to Birmingham jail?

Jacob: Probably in high school or some shit.

Evan: Yeah.  Well, that letter is a good example of rhetoric and rhetorical situation in general.

Jacob: What’s rhetorical situation?

Evan: Rhetorical situation is basically the context of the rhetoric.  For example, the rhetorical situation in that letter was the fact that MLK was in that jail cell, writing this letter calling out the racial injustice in America at the time.  The rhetoric, though, was the unification of the citizens of the US.  MLK was attempting to convince people to “rise up”, I guess.  Not like, violent protests, or whatever, but he wanted to open up the eyes of the people so they could truly see how messed up the US was at the time.

Jacob: Yeah that makes sense.  So, like, how does rhetorical situation tie into rhetoric?

Evan:  Think of it this way.  You text mom pretty differently than you text me right?

Jacob: Yeah, no shit.

Evan:  Exactly.  Since the context is different, your rhetoric is different.

Jacob: Right.

Evan: Alright, now that you know more about rhetoric, why is it important?

Jacob:  I guess if you don’t really understand it, you’ll be pretty garbage at persuasive writing.  And, a good understanding of rhetoric can help you decipher what politicians are saying when they’re trying to tiptoe around the true situation.

Evan:  How does it connect to writing? Or things other than writing?

Jacob:  As I said, a good grasp on rhetoric and the uh… what was the context thing?

Evan: Rhetorical situation?

Jacob: Yeah, yeah the rhetorical situation. So, a good grasp on the rhetoric and the rhetorical situation will just improve your writing in general.  Trying to write an academic paper with the writing you use in a text to your buddies isn’t gonna go well.

Evan:  What about, like, everyday life?

Jacob: I guess it’ll help with conversation, too.  Just having a better understanding of who you’re talking to can definitely be beneficial.