evilfrogcereal29

[evilfrogcereal29]

hello! i hope you are doing well!

earlier today, i was laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling and your pizza guy nikto somehow made way into my train of thoughts. it was just something about nikto's messy room at first, then pizza delivery job, and then i suddenly realize that it's you who is the author. brain is a miraculous little thing, how it could recall all of this after not doing anything related to the post for months. my room right now reminds me of nikto's room. i think i have to find something to do, make a routine.

that is all. :3 i enjoy your works a lot, cosplay, writing, and other art forms. take care!

Tw//vent-y, a clear up post

I've cried everytime i've opened the app and seen this ask, and I've had a heavy heart when using this app in general because I feel there's things I owe people here, specifically my art. And I haven't been able to make anything for y'all in genuine months. And I'm sorry. It brings me so much joy that you guys like what I made. But, the truth is that I just don't enjoy doing writing or drawing art anymore really, its something I dipped my head into cause it sounded fun, and then just dropped when things got to hard for me in my personal life. I mostly just make Kandi now. I really wanted a whole account dedicated to writings and hcs and asks but I realized its not what I needed, And loosing someone close to me to cancer made me realize it: I want to do other things with my time. Idk if the evilfrogcereal blog will be deleted eventually or if I'll just let it sit stagnant, but genuinely unless I get the will and inspiration that i haven't had for months, it's bound to stay dead. If you liked my nikto pizza guy au and want to expand on it/take the idea for yourself by all means just @ me on the post so i can see it :) this applies to all my other ideas too i dont want them to die with my creativity and will to live✌️

[evilfrogcereal29]

PLEASE WRITE

PLEASE WRITE

BRAIN PLEASEEEEEE WRITEEEE

[evilfrogcereal29]

Pizza guy!Nikto - Chapter 1

(ok... This is going to be like, maybe one of the most weirdly specific fanfics you've ever read. For context: I work at a pizza place IRL. Thats it. Thats the only context. I was at work and. Thought about Nikto working there too. That's all you need to know. Enjoy :]!!!

This is going to be a Nikto x GN!customer!reader, but reader is NOT introduced in this chapter.

Cw/tws: mentions of violence- including towards an animal! I think thats all? Enjoy :)!!

NOTE: all text in red & italics are Nikto's voices

Nikto was bored.

Retirement was miserable, and Nikto found himself restless day in, and day out. Unable to find peace while wasting away at home. Sure, he had lot's of retirement money, but he had this urge to work, to kill. He would give anything to be on a plane to another mission right about now, but he was too 'broken'. That's what they basically told him. Too mentally unwell to keep working. A hazard to his own team.

Heh.

What the fuck do they know? They don't know what goes on in his head. So what he broke that recruit's arm? They touched him when he warned them of the consequences. Or who cares that he hit one of his higher-up's service dogs with the buggy? It should've been servicing it's owner, not under the damn vehicle! He's not a danger, the other voices are!

Speaking of voices, they aren't reacting well either, metaphorically biting away at Nikto's psyche each day he did fucking nothing. He felt useless, and they reminded him of that. You idiot, you deserve your suffering for being the way you are. Broken. Broken little solider.

He still gets calls from his mates in the service, especially Krueger, who always makes sure to call as often as possible to keep the man updated on missions, even if they didn't concern him anymore. He suggested that Nikto pick up a part-time job, not for the money, but the work. God (and Krueger) only knows what Nikto's mind gets upto when left to its own devices.

Nikto scoffed at first, he didn't like the idea of working at some measley fast food job, he was above that. He crawled through the fucking trenches and ripped out the throats of women and men, and would be reduced to... What? Cleaning a fucking stove? Heating up processed foods for weak civilians? No. He wouldn't. The voices mocked him, this is what we've been reduced to? Patheic.

And then the rot set in.

Krueger had been very insistant on a visit the second he had time away from work, flying out to see Nikto even as the man ignored his texts and calls. He wasn't dead, Krueger knew that, but he also wasn't in a good place. He couldn't let his companion live like this pathetic slob. Cause that's exactly what he was becoming.

Water and alcohol bottles littered the floor, stacks on stacks of old, half eaten take-out. Junk that should’ve been tossed long ago created walled barriers throughout the house. It was a scene out of horders, and the smell was awful. Christ. Krueger was no clean freak, but this? He'd rather sleep next to corpses than this cesspool of rotting filfth, and in the middle of it all, sat his balaclava-ed, smelly friend on the sofa. Krueger grimmaced, taking careful steps. He nearly stepped on poor Sputnik, who had become content with spending her days lazying about, peeing in places without Nikto's knowledge, and eating off his leftover scraps of food, growing just as lethargic as her owner.

"Nikto... Scheiße..” he would almost be outraged at the man’s carelessness if he didn’t understand how the other functioned, without a job, without a purpose, Nikto was truly a nobody. He lifted the man’s head with a gentleness, an action only someone like Krueger could get away with, looking into those glazed-over icy blues.

“This is… this is bad Nikto..” he mutters, eyes filled with..love? Concern? Something Nikto wasn’t used to often. Nikto finally shows evidence of life as his eyes flicker up in wordless understanding. Krueger continues,

"I can't stand to see you like this. You can't stand being like this. I'm going to help you."

Krueger lifts his friend up, albiet with mild arguing and growling from the disguntled bear of a man that Nikto is. He sets Nikto's cheap laptop on his lap and types in job sites, which already has Nikto tense.

"Krueger- чёрт побери! you're acting like my fucking mother-"

"good, about time someone comes in and wipes your ass, if not yourself." Krueger grumbles, scrolling through the job offers, "what's your SNILS...?"

After a painstaking back and forth, and Krueger prying for all of Nikto's personal info, he sent in a few applications on his friend's behalf. Patting the other on the back as Nikto's thumbs rubbed at his temples, fighting back the urge to pulverize his only real friend. You really should, he's a nuisance...

"this is... Not ideal.." Nikto finally grumbles, finishing the last of some lukewarm whisky from the bottle.

"none of this is, meine freund, but this...Is worse." Noone has ever seen them like this, so...domestic. In reality, this was as hard for Krueger as it was for Nikto, The Alligence wasn't the same without the Russian, fighting wasn't the same. Krueger rested a hand on his shoulder.

"everything is going to change, can you try to change a little with it?"

Change? Krueger wanted him to change? Was that even possible? He'd been so set in his ways ever since the incident. But the look in Krueger eyes let Nikto know that there wasn't really a choice.

What are you kidding? You could change as far as you could throw a boulder! Never!

He sighed, deeply. His shoulders slumping miserably as he exhaled.

"fine. But If we don't like the job-"

"ja, ja, you don't have to stay. I get it. I can't make you." He interupted, waving his hand dismissively, "but don't just give up right away. Can you promise me that?"

Nikto hated making promises, he hated feeling like he owed anyone anything, he didn't take on debts or deals. Go ahead, make more promises you can't keep. We know the truth.

Yet here he was, being interviewed by an elderly couple, who pitied him for his past as a solider.

"me and Martha are going to see how you fair in the kitchen, and if that's turns out to be too overwhelming we can move you to a more simple job like delivery. Just bring the customers their pizzas." The eldery man said with an acknowledging smile.

He nodded to the man, Michael, reaching across the table to shake his hand, thanking him begrudgingly for this... 'Opportunity'. Thats damn well what it was, but Nikto didn't quite see it that way yet. As he left with a work shirt displaying the place's name and logo, he felt his heart drop. And a shrill, annoying voice invading his mind.

You are truely a fucking Развалюха. Good luck ever trying to live a normal life!

And now Nikto was worried.

------------------------------------------------------

Hai :3 I hope you enjoyed this first chapter, I wanted to introduce reader in this first part but it was getting long and I also just wanted to get something out. There will be more chapters for this, but they might be kind of slow to come out😭 work takes up a LOT of my time tbh, but also working inspires me cause...yk pizza place setting so- its a double edged sword. But if you enjoyed pls like and reblog it means sm♥️♥️ ty for reading!!

And to the person who sent me an ask in my inbox about the relationship dynamics between NiktoKrueger + criminal!reader, I see u and ur creative vision, I started writing something today in response ;) just gimme some time!!!

Also an @ list for some mooties who I think would like to see this :3

@simp4konig @lizzy019 @fishsinsareacknowledged @zoloftwithdrawalnausea sorry If I missed anyone, lmk if you'd like to be tagged (or not tagged) in future chapters!!

[evilfrogcereal29]

This song is so Nikto & Krueger coded, but in a way like...(TW: scary faced image)

Krueger and Nikto are driving on a long road trip somewhere and that song is blasting over the radio and Krueger feels like hot shit in the driver seat, like "this is so us Nikto" and meanwhile Nikto is in the passenger seat like:

Litteraly any sir mix-a-lot song make me imagine this, Krueger violently schmovin to the music, and Nikto just...being Nikto :)

[evilfrogcereal29]

TW/CW: NSFW, BJs, exhibitionism (sex over a mic), submissive!Rodion, no pronouns but 'you' are used for reader

Sucking off Rodion while he plays video games... Especially if its an online game... I just know he's a lil moaning whore so he can't hold back. Most people in game probably realize what's going on pretty fast when Rodion shakily asks over the mic to be picked up, a whimper following it as you lap and suck on just the tip of his cock, puling off it with a little *pop*. Oh god. Those eyes. The faux innocence in them while you do vile things to him.

He's falling apart, cock twitching as he weakly bucks into your mouth. He keeps dying in game but doesn't give a shit, even as people are muting him and calling him gross. He throws his head back in his chair when he finally reaches his climax. Making an impossibly cute noise, like the mewl of a kitten, tears welling in his eyes. His words are a mix between English and Russian, pleading for you to praise him. Please tell him he's a good boy for cumming! You run your hands through his short, well-kept hair and he purrs, burying his face affectionately into your chest♥️

[evilfrogcereal29]

MORE!!!! MOREEEEE!!🗣🗣🗣🗣

Petting gifs for your man loving needs, I'll make more later♥️

Bonus gif: krueger getting fucking obliterated by the hand because its funny

Squishsquishsquishsquishsquish

[evilfrogcereal29]

Petting gifs for your man loving needs, I'll make more later♥️

Bonus gif: krueger getting fucking obliterated by the hand because its funny

Squishsquishsquishsquishsquish

[evilfrogcereal29]

Cw/Tw: light nsfw, ass slapping, body worship, chubby & fem!reader, cursing, negative body image

I'm sorry but idgaf what König's VA fckin says König would fucking ADORE big/chubby girls. If u don't agree jus block me now /hj

The contrast between his solid, toned muscles and your soft, squishy flesh is like art to him. When he slaps your bare ass and your skin ripples and jiggles for a few seconds longer than normal. Fuck. He loves that so much. Loves the weighted blanket effect you give when you sprawl yourself over him, putting all you have onto him, he will assure you he can take it. If you can cook/bake thats even better!! König is definitely a messy & fast eater, so theres no judgement in sitting on the couch gorging yourselves on chinese takeout while watching terrible german romcoms, his head nestles on your chest. He lets out an adorable sound for a man his size everytime you run your hands through his hair, similar to a purr.

If anyone makes a remark about the large amount of food you've made/ordered, König will make his presence known.

"she's feeding the both of us." He says firmly, and the offender runs off with their metaphorical tail tucked between their legs.

Body worship champion. He can be really bad with words in the heated moment, but his hands mostly speak for him, praising you wordlessly with each affectionate touch.

"oh schatz... you're built like a goddess.." he gasps, double fisting a handful of your love handles, pulling you close to his chest. He's all red in the face, like a shy little boy. You drive him insane. He doesn't feel good enough for you. He's too awkward, too big, too tall, too everything.

But when you tell him you're too fat?

"nein." He hisses, arms slinking around you from your spot in front of the mirror. "Du bist perfekt für mich. The right size, the right weight. You are just right dear. Perfect." He kisses you up and down, starting at your shoulders, working his way down to your back, moving around you so he could kiss your stomach. You try to intercept, with tears in your eyes, but he pushes your hands away. This is his purpose, his real job.

"let me see whats mine schatz... Let me show you how much I love what I see... Let me show you how perfect...." he can barely hold back, can barely finish his thoughts. As he finishes peppering kisses down your thighs to your knees, he moves up and abruptly pulls you into a kiss. And boy. He showed you that night ;)c

Lastly he never presures you into anything, if you decide its time for a weight loss journey, no matter how big or small, whether its for health concerns, emotional wellbeing, or something else, he supports you going at your own pace. And if you pull out of it? Give in and have a cheat day and feel like shit? He is right there to comfort.

I just... I could go on.. he just... Is made for a short chubby gf I SWEAR THIS ISN'T MY BIAS AS A SHORT CHUBBY PERSON😭 nikto, Krueger, all my other top favs, i imagine they would probably date girls of any size.. but König just... HE JUST SPEAKS TO ME OK?? HIS VA IS WRONG.

Thank u for reading and listening to my ramble :3 have a good day

[evilfrogcereal29]

THE KÖNIG AND KRUEGER COSPLAY ARE FINALLY HERE!!! I loved loved LOVED going out as them, even if everyone didn't know who tf we were and was terrified of us💔

[evilfrogcereal29]

I'm backflipping at the absolute yumminess of this art, ITS SO GOODDDD OMG

I saw @evilfrogcereal29's post which led me to @just-some-user-hunny's idea about a werewolf Nikto and so!! Here we go!! I would love to design him some tactical gear when I'm not so bogged down at work... CW: violence/dark themes in HCs under the cut

Filed, blunt teeth (from use, by captors, or himself? Who knows). It makes his killings brutally inefficient - it's no quick bite to the jugular but a steady crushing, ripping, tearing. His maw unusually large, kept wide by scar tissue that pulls at the corners of his mouth. A broken jaw with bone that juts and doesn't quite align as it should. Scars from past captors and encounters with enemies, many made to answer the question, "Just how good is a werewolf's healing factor?"

Shifting is already a painful process - bones break, skin burts, muscle frays and re-knits. His are made worse by the heavy scarring, an already disfigured face morphing , somehow, into something much worse.

Torn nare makes his nose whistle a little if he's not careful with his breathing - he has purposefully trained himself to be silent when needed, and as a byproduct, has incredible lung capacity and stamina.

Only slightly larger than the average werewolf, he's no hulking behemoth of a specimen - but his visage more than makes for a terrifying opponent.

[evilfrogcereal29]

Nikto and Krueger are so perfect and balance eachother out in a way- which is why I seek to throw a third person (reader, oc, self-insert,or another cod character idc) into the mix to cause CHAOS. and irreparably change but also add unique dynamics to their already brain melting (/pos) dynamics. I think about it all day. What if they met someone crazier than either of them?Or someone who's a way better and Innocent person than either of them and they for some reason like it? I just like to imagine their faces, and the pouts, grins, ahhhh, how do I write the obscure senarios that play out in my head...?

I think about this all the time.. probably too much.

[evilfrogcereal29]

This is made my week for sure

I saw @evilfrogcereal29's post which led me to @just-some-user-hunny's idea about a werewolf Nikto and so!! Here we go!! I would love to design him some tactical gear when I'm not so bogged down at work... CW: violence/dark themes in HCs under the cut

Filed, blunt teeth (from use, by captors, or himself? Who knows). It makes his killings brutally inefficient - it's no quick bite to the jugular but a steady crushing, ripping, tearing. His maw unusually large, kept wide by scar tissue that pulls at the corners of his mouth. A broken jaw with bone that juts and doesn't quite align as it should. Scars from past captors and encounters with enemies, many made to answer the question, "Just how good is a werewolf's healing factor?"

Shifting is already a painful process - bones break, skin burts, muscle frays and re-knits. His are made worse by the heavy scarring, an already disfigured face morphing , somehow, into something much worse.

Torn nare makes his nose whistle a little if he's not careful with his breathing - he has purposefully trained himself to be silent when needed, and as a byproduct, has incredible lung capacity and stamina.

Only slightly larger than the average werewolf, he's no hulking behemoth of a specimen - but his visage more than makes for a terrifying opponent.

[evilfrogcereal29]

Pregnant nikto this pregnant nikto that,

WHEN ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT PREGNANT KRUEGER?!?! That man is such a cocky confident fuck he needs to be taken down a peg, impregnated, and taken care of pls <33 i could go on aughgsjsgsjgssh

[evilfrogcereal29]

Tw: nsfw & dark themes, toxic relationship dynamics, age gaps, manipulative behaviors, mentions of dubious consent, father-son dynamics (that are NOT sexualized) yegor is a good dad in this :) he protects nikodim

Nikodim's relationship with Nikto & Yegor:

Yegor and Nikto probably don't get along at all, especially when it comes to Nikodim. They butt heads and are metaphorically pulling Nikodim back and forth so hard he's tearing in two.

Nikto thinks Rodion is naive and innocent (he is, in some ways....) and he can't help but want to corrupt that. He's got almost a decade on the boy in age, and that's enough to put Nikto in a position of power over the impressionable & eager lad. He puts on this 'detached big brother' act to Rodion and him ONLY, acting like he cares about the others well-being a lot more than he really does. He's horribly mean to Rodion, calling him names, making his achievements seem small, tough love as he calls it, but then shows up to save his ass when he's in a pinch, and Rodion can't felt but be grateful and look upto Nikto. If left to his own devices without anyone intervening and getting Rodion away from him, It'd turn very toxic very fast, he'd pressure Rodion into sloppy sex and because he thinks it funny to drink with him (nikto has a considerably higher alc tolerance than poor Nika...) and watch him squeal, intoxicated, while Nikto burries his head into the boys neck, biting and sucking at the untouched skin. He's a toy to Nikto. And Nikto is seriously fucked in the head. He's sneaky and will wait for Yegor to not be around to talk with the boy, especially when he realizes Yegor's onto him. He's not worried about getting caught, no, he's just worried that Yegor will actually talk some sense into the boy and he'll loose his fun </3

Meanwhile Yegor is his unoffical papa who can't fucking stand it. He KNOWS what Nikto is doing, and he doesn't like it one bit. If he catches that sleezy russian around his boy he pulls Rodion out of there immediately. Him and Nikodim started out as just a friendly-teasing relationship, and it still is! But when Yegor realized how airheaded his fellow soldier could be, and seeing him fall for the charms of people like Nikto, Krueger, and Graves (Nika is an americaboo...I just feel like he would look up to Graves as the purest blooded american he's ever dang seen lololol Grave would probably not care for him tho) he knew he had to step in and protect the younger man. He's only in his twenties for christ sake, just a kid to Yegor, who's going on 40 next year. He was in Rodion's shoes once, and like hell he's gonna let what happened to him happen to Nika. He's not trying to be overbearing, and he can hear Nikodim's protests and 'what was that for?!'s when Yegor pulls him by his wrist away from Nikto. He acknowledges that Nika isn't a child, hell, he's watched him blow heads off of enemies countless times. But Yegor just shakes his head every time, and says "get some sense Nika, those aren't your real friends" and lets the boy go. There's only so much he can do, he knows. But god help him if he won't try. He sends Nikto all kinds of glares and gazes, but keeps his distance from that threat of a man...

Yegor actually genuinely cares about Nikodim a lot. If he finds the boy sleeping away in his barracks without a blanket, he'll cover him, if he needs some food and arrived late to dinner, Yegor will split hit plate with him. He's just a good dad :] I love their voicelines together so much their relationship just seems so wholesome and as someone with daddy issues myself, Yegor is the dad we all need in our lives <3

[evilfrogcereal29]

Introduction + Rules + Taglist

Finally getting around to this since I'm starting to post more and more content under certain tags.

Hi! My name Is Lex/FrogCereal, I'm an 18 year old neurodivergent COD fan from California, USA, and this is my writing + art account, there WILL be nsfw themes on here so minors please be gone. My shitposting/main account is @frogcereal29. Be warned there is a mix of sfw and nsfw content reblogged on there!! TWs are added before every fic, if there's something i missed on a piece that you think should be tw-ed lmk right away. Some of my fics are completely sfw, and some are very VERY nsfw, so I always want u to know what ur getting into :)!!

I will write for/draw Nikto, Krueger, Nikodim, Yegor, Gromsko, König, as well as Pyramid head who isn't in cod but is my bbg nonetheless. My drawing skills are also very low-intermediate! I'm still learning so my anatomy/art may not be top notch quality, hope you can still enjoy!

First and foremost my rules are: MDNI. Do not request anything with incest, ageplay, feeding kink, raceplay, piss/scat, politics, or underage. I only write for GN and Fem! Reader. Do not ask me to write for characters outside of my list above, I love TF 141 and others but they just aren't my absolute favorites, so I just don't feel confident writing for them! Apologies💔 i may sometimes lightly write for characters outside my list, but thats at my discretion. Please also be respectful and kind, to both me and others who interact with my content. I'm always open to critique, especially if It comes to writing in other languages or about cultures I'm outside of (ie: russia, austria, litteraly most places outside the US..) but please be kind!! Thank you <3

!!Also I work a full-time job so this gets in the way of regularly posting, I try to get out at least 1 thing per week!!

Requests are: CLOSED (this account is abandoned)

Full taglist below the cut, as to make it easier for people to navigate my content, will be updated as I post!:

All my writing can be found under lexwrites

All of my art can be found under lexdraws

All my cosplay can be found under lexcosplays

For character specific tags, Here's a list that I'll add as I write for more characters and write more sub-catagories for them as well:

König

- for König x reader go here

Nikto

- for Nikto x reader go here

- for werewolf!Nikto AU go here

- For NiktoKrueger go here

Krueger:

- I also use the tag Sebastian Krueger but it means the same thing

- for NiktoKrueger go here

Gromsko:

- for Gromsko x reader go here

Nikodim

- for nikodim x reader go here

Yegor

Non cod characters:

Pyramid Head

Thats all, please leave a reblog and a like if you enjoy the content! it means the world!!

[evilfrogcereal29]

Writing Russian-speaking characters

So I have once again been chuckling at some adorable clumsy Russian in Nikolai and Nikto fics, and thus I decided to make a little list that might be helpful for fellow COD writers here. And yes, please, feel free to reach out to me if you need any proofreading of your Russian phrases, I would be glad to assist since google translator can butcher it in ways non-speakers won't be able to notice.

I would really appreciate if you guys shared this post and helped it reach people that might need it, I put way more effort into it than I expected myself <3 Also, I might make a followup with some more words and/or phrases that can be useful, so please feel free to request some, since here I am mostly focusing on terms of endearment.

I will write down Russian words, their (approximate and wonky, sorry for that) transcription/transliteration and what part of speech they are (keep in mind that adjectives can be used as nouns when used to address someone) and provide according translation and use.

Keep in mind that in Russian the gender of the word is important!!! I'll write down them in following order: he/him (он/его) version/ she/her (она/её) version/ they/them (они/их) version. However! They/them is NOT traditionally used as gender-neutral pronouns, it's plural only. Some queer and younger folks do use they/them (myself included), but it does sound wonky as it's direct copy from English. Unfortunately, Russian is not very suitable for gender-neutral writing, but there are ways to go about it (I'll try to note some of that too).

*however, since Nikto is sometimes using plural they/them to describe himself, that would be okay with him since it's plural. I hope that makes sense, lol.

So if you're putting an adjective with a noun (example: милый котик) you have to use an adjective in the correct gender form FOR THE WORD! If the noun (котик here) is masculine, you use masculine adjective form EVEN if you're referring to a person with she/her pronouns.

What is love?

The main thing I noticed is that y'all use a direct translation of the word "love" - "любовь" [l'ubov'] (n) to refer to a person. As in "how are you doing, love?". However, that's wrong. "Любовь" is either a word to describe the feeling, or a name (short version would be Люба [Lyuba]). If you wanna use an affectionate pet name, consider one of the following!

дорогой/дорогая/дорогие [dorogoy/dorogaya/dorogiye] (adj) - means "darling". Often used between spouses. Mostly used to refer to person directly, sounds a little quirky if you use it to refer to them in third person (as in "my darling went out to buy some strawberries").

любимый/любимая/любимые [l'ubimiy/l'ubimaya/l'ubimiye] (adj) - means "beloved/loved/loved one" and is probably the closest to "love". You can use it to refer to person directly or to talk about them in third person (as in "can't wait to see любимую". Also yes, the endings are changing depending on the case and I'm not entirely sure how to explain this concisely without going deep into grammar lol).

милый/милая/милые [miliy/milaya/miliye] (adj) - the word means "cute/cutie", but is also used as a general terms of endearment, like "sweetheart". Mainly to refer to someone directly, using it in third person is a little old-fashioned I'd say. Also commonly used by people outside romantic partnership, a kind old lady can definitely call you over with this one asking to help her read expiration date on a milk bottle or something.

любовь моя [l'ubov' moya] (n + adj/pronoun) - okay, I kinda tricked you saying you can't use the word "love" to refer to a person. If you say this (means "my love"), you can! It's pretty romantic and I am actually the one person that uses this daily, otherwise it's either very romance-novel/old-fashioned sounding, but there are moments when it's perfectly suitable. Have that fairytale moment! Also please note, that while "моя любовь" [moya l'ubov'] (adj/pronoun + n) is grammatically correct, it sounds kinda weird if you use it to address the person directly (like in a phrase "my love, you shine brighter than the stars"). While Russian doesn't have particularly strict rules about word order, it does matter to some extent, and this is a prime example: people just use one order way more often that the other.

Pocket-sized

I've already told somewhere here my favourite Nikto fic moment: the sweetest, romantic moment, interrupted by him calling reader "детёныш", which means "cub" as in baby animal. And while my parents do use this word affectionately, I can assure you, most people don't, and it was clear that this was a result of a clumsy translation of "baby" or something like that. So here are some variants for words like baby, little one and such!

малыш/малышка [malysh/malyshka] (n) - I'd say this feels more "little one" than "baby" to me, it's a tad less sexually charged if you get what I mean. Also, you call "малыш" a person of any gender/pronouns, while "малышка" is strictly for she/her. Obviously can be used for kids too.

детка [d'etka] (n) - this one is definitely "baby" or "babe" as a term of endearment, calling a real kid this would be WEIRD if you're not a really old granny. I would also say that it's more commonly used to refer to female partners, but that might be just my perception and experience. It's still okay to use both ways. Also this word can be very much used if you need a little bit of sleazy/catcalling/bad pickup line energy, like someone shouting after a girl passing by on the street. Yuck.

маленький/маленькая [mal'en'kiy/mal'en'kaya] (adj) - this just means "little" or "small", I'd say it's used less commonly and usually in this form "маленький мой/маленькая моя" [mal'en'kiy moy/mal'en'kaya moya] (adj + adj/pronoun). I will expand on this a little later here! Can be used to refer to kids too.

All kinds of fauna

While poor детёныш is reserved for furry freaks like yours truly, there are some animal nicknames that are very widely spread! Here are some that I think would be most useful for y'all. Granted, some people think that these are a lil' bit cringey, but I think it really just depends on what you're used to hear around you. So if I think calling someone a cub is cute, and bunny is cringe, that probably says more about me :D

котик [kot'ik] (n) - this is a term of endearment for a cat. NOT same as kitten, mind you! Mostly used to refer to men (since the word is of masculine gender) - in my experience.

котёнок [kot'onok] (second o here is like ö in German) (n) - now THIS is "kitten". I would say this is more gender-neutral than the previous one, but the word is still masculine gender.

зайка [zayka] (n) - I believe this would be an equivalent to "bunny", although it's actually a cute word for a hare, not a rabbit. Definitely used for all genders (also the word can be both masculine and feminine gender), also is okay to use referring to kids (even teachers that are into endearing nicknames can call pupils this and it's not weird. well, in elementary school). You can also say "зайчонок" [zaych'onok] (n) which is a word for baby hare, even cuter.

рыбка [ribka] (n) - a term of endearment for a fish. I think it's viewed as a bit old-fashioned and thus only used jokingly nowadays, but you know what? Nikolai could pull this off 100%. Bonus points if it's "рыбка моя" [ribka moya] (n + adj/pronoun). Only used for women and the word itself is of feminine gender.

медвежонок [medv'ezhonok] (n) - now, I actually have never met someone who would call their partner this, but I myself would (and I definitely saw it in some media, but that's obv not too reliable). It's a word for a bear cub, so I think it's cute to call a huge ass bear of a military man this word. It's of masculine gender, but I would say it's okay to call a she/her person this too. ALTHOUGH there is a grammatically incorrect (but this only adds to cuteness as it often happens) word "медвежонка" [medv'ezhonka] (n) - this would be a female bear cub. My family uses this word, I use it, no, it won't be in a dictionary, but everyone will understand what you mean. Is okay to use for kids too.

щенок [sh'enok] (if it helps, щ is like German "schtsch", like in Borschtsch, like sh but soft) (n) - now, this actually is not used as a term of endearment, it's "puppy" and it's suitable for degradation. The word is of masculine gender, but you can call anyone this to be honest. You can tell Nikto he's "глупый щенок" [glupiy sh'enok] (adj + n) (silly puppy) and that man will either bark for you or gut you. If you say "тупой" [tupoy] (adj) (dumb) instead of "глупый" [glupiy] (adj) (silly), it will be downright offensive. You can say "щеночек" [sh'enochek] (n), which is an endearing term for a puppy, so it's a little bit sweete. OR you can use my personal favourite - "щен" [sh'en] (n), which is actually also incorrect, but if you've ever heard of a great poet and poetry innovator Mayakovskiy, he was called this word by Lilya Brik. I do NOT have the time to unpack that wild relationship (there was a throuple involved. Russian poetry scene of early XX century was WILD and it's my favourite poetry period hands down), but it's pretty famous. The word "щен" consists of the word "puppy" but with the end diminutive suffix cut off. The trick is, that while some words return to their non-diminutive form with such procedure, this one does not - so you're basically inventing a new word that now sounds quite degrading and harsh, but also sexy as hell (personal opinion). I would definitely call Nikto this word.

птичка [ptich'ka] (n) - that's just "birdie", but I actually wouldn't say many people use it to refer to each other. HOWEVER, Nikolai 100% calls his steel bird this. The word is of feminine gender and if you are calling a person this, it's probably more suitable for a woman.

цыпа [tsipa??] (n) or even цыпочка [tsipoch'ka] (n) - that's a chick, like a baby hen, used only to refer to women (feminine gender word). Honestly I only heard this in foreign films dubbed in Russian or like in jokes/sarcastic phrases. It's kinda rude/indecent/vulgar and the only man that can say that and stay attractive is Captain Jack Sparrow (he used this word in Russian dubbed Pirates like once maybe, talking to Elisabeth, and that was funny cuz he be crazy like that). But maybe you want this, idk.

And everything sweet

Unfortunately, I haven't seen anyone translate the word "honey" as "мёд" directly, that would be another brilliant laugh (cuz it's wrong to refer to a person like that), but there are some "sweet" words to use!

сладкий/сладкая [sladk'iy/sladkaya] (adj) - this just means "sweet", like the taste, and it can be sexy or sleazy or just cute. You can call a kid this word too, BUT for a child would be better сладенький/сладенькая [slad'en'kiy/slad'en'kaya], which is like one step further into diminutive-endearing department.

конфетка [konf'etka] (n) - this is a diminutive word for a candy, a sweet, like a caramel or chocolate or whatever. Not very common, but is cute. Also a way to describe a sexy/good-looking person (more likely a woman, the word is of feminine gender) or just something really good (a bit jokingly). The latter is usually used in a phrase build like "не ..., а просто конфетка", which is roughly translated "that's not ... that's just plain candy". Might have an actual English equivalent that I can't think of right now. Maybe "a total snack"? Probably that one, yeah. Can be said about anything, a car for example.

Shiny

I wanna stick in a few more words of endearment and they all are kinda shiny, lol, so here you go!

солнце [solntse] (n) - this means "sun", like that big glowing thingy in the sky, but it's very welcome as a term of endearment. This word is NEUTER gender (explained in the next section). Viktor Tsoy (a famous rock musician with an unfortunate fate and immortal cultural heritage) had a song ("Cuckoo" - "Кукушка") with the words "солнце моё, взгляни на меня" [solntse moyo, vzgl'yan'i na m'en'ya] (my sun, look at me), so "солнце моё" (n + adj/n) is a good one. You can also use "солнышко" [solnyshko] (n) which is an endearing version of "sun", so it's like "sunshine". Also of neuter gender! Can and should be used to address kids too.

золотце [zolottse] (n) - this literally means like... a little gold? A little golden piece? I don't think there's a proper equivalent in English. It's a word of neuter gender and it's very much used for kids too. Another version would be "золотой мой/золотая моя/золотые мои" [zolotoy moy/zolotaya moya/zolotiye moyi] (adj + adj/pronoun) - this is "my golden", it's a little less common and I feel like it's often used to be condescending, but it's not inherenrly bad, so you can use it for a loved one.

сокровище [sokrov'ish'e] (once again it's щ, look previously) (n) - this is a word of neuter gender and it means "treasure". I personally adore this one and it's pretty common. Can be used for any gender and for kids!

звёздочка [zv'yozdoch'ka] (n) - this is like a little star/starshine. Wouldn't say it's that common, but I use it a lot. The word itself is of feminine gender, but you can call anyone that! Or you can say "звезда моя" [zv'ezda moya] (n + adj/pronoun), which means "my star". Also feminine gender word, but can be used for anyone.

This dog belongs to...

I am not going to go too deep into sexy/sex-related words in this part, because I'll just get overwhelmed with the amount, but I want to go over some words of ownership quickly.

мой/моя/мои/моё [moy/moya/moyi/moyo] (adj/pronoun) - this means my/mine. It goes really well with many words in this list, especially the adjectives, like "мой дорогой" [moy dorogoy] (my darling) or "солнышко моё" [solnyshko moyo] (my sun/sunshine). The last version, "моё" [moyo] is neuter gender, it's NOT gender-neutral! It's the "it/its" I guess (not exactly, but let's just stick with this simplyfied explanation). Previously there were some words of that gender, so here you go. BTW I would say that in speech it's more common to put this word before adjectives and after nouns (like in my examples), just sounds better, but it's not wrong to do otherwsise. You can also just say "ты мой" [ti moy] (you're mine). Also can be used to refer in third person, like when you're discussing your man with your gossip girls, you can just go "а мой вчера..." [a moy vch'era] (and mine yesterday...) and everyone will understand that you mean your man. Unless you wee discussing pets, then they'll probably assume it's your cat.

хозяин/хозяйка [khoz'yain/khoz'yayka] (n) - saw this one too btw. This means "owner" or kiiiinda "master/mistress", and they are gendered, so it's actually wrong to call a woman "хозяин" unless there's some kinky genderfuckery going on (which I'm all for, but like. you get what I mean).

господин/госпожа [gospod'in/gospozha] (n) - okay, THAT is definitely master/mistress, also gendered. Standard BDSM terminology and yada yada.

And that's where I'd like to wrap up for today! However, if needed, I can write more - perhaps with curse words or with sex-related words, or some phrases? I dunno, you tell me! Once again, I kindly ask you to share since I think this will help people (and while I understand the struggle of writing in another language and especially using words from language you don't speak at all, I can't help but be a little thrown off every time I see a wrong use of words in text).

Also remember: while Siberia is bigger than USA or even Canada, there are still other regions in Russia that deserve to be mentioned <3 a lot of places with mindblowing nature, cultural heritage etc.

[evilfrogcereal29]

Last drawing of the night, I'm actually so fckin happy with this one THEY LOOK SO CUTE, its so rare for me to like something I make. I did use this ref off of Pinterest, and the second I saw it I was like "oh thats NiktoKrueger.." and just HAD to draw them (ref + credits & thank yous below the cut♥️)

Even tho I drew everything myself I still feel weird like... Not Crediting my inspos... Cause if it were not for them I probably wouldn't of started this account or started drawing & writing again. My designs for them are like a mix between (not tagging them because idk if they like that and I don't wanna bother them and fill up their notifs anymore than they probably are. But you should absolutely go check them out pls they make content 1000% better than mine) @/cerosin-bis's and @/unhingedpolycule's designs, and I draw a lot of inspo from them in general because their artstyles and the way they portray not just NK but any cod characters or non-cod characters is just sooo good. This community is so talented in general, everyone inspires me in little ways, and I've been having sm fun interacting with content and posting it on here, and the ppl are so nice. Thank you to everyone who inspires me and sticks around to see what I make ^w^ it means more than you realize♥️