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Talking to my mom last night about the wedding we’re all going to in 2 weeks and she says “I don’t think I’ve ever been to a non Catholic wedding!”

And I’m like “well Rachel and Becca’s wedding wasn’t a Catholic wedding”

And she says “I guess that didn’t really register as a wedding to me”

And I’m here, ready to have a real hard conversation with my mom about homophobia and Recognizing others and as I’m having this spiral this bitch goes “cause it was outside”

So good news, my mom doesn’t give two fucks if you’re gay, straight, bi, pan, etc but get yo ass married in A HOUSE with a ROOF or it will not register with her

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unrestrained summer fun

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I cannot believe they solved this.

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Fruit bat noises, apparently. If you care

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> kids party going on next door to where I'm chilling for my break. a lot of good-natured screaming typical of the age range, seems to be 6-8

> minding my own business but kids eventually spill over to where I am and they're chatting about the cake and cookies and sweets

> one kid rolls her eyes and says to me "they're acting crazy because they had cake"

> I ask "is there cake left?"

> "yeah"

> "I'll give you a dollar if you steal me slice of cake"

> takes off like a fucking rocket and 60 seconds later I have a slice of melting ice cream cake all to myself

> give her the dollar as promised

> another kid offers to bring me a cookie for a dollar

> ok sure kid

> those two kids are going feral over a single dollar bill each

> the children yearn for the mines fetch quests

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forever grateful i was simply too lazy to let the makeup industrial complex get its hooks in me. I was just like im not doing all of that. in fact. im doing none of that

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Had to ban the phrase “tricky dick” from my classroom during watergate lesson because saying the word dick in front of 30 fifteen year olds is like lighting a bomb and throwing it through the doorway but now they’re just calling him Richard the Treacherous like they’re all medieval peasants. gonna lose it