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[failingfuture]

but thats assuming shes done it out of love

and that fact i question it makes me stop from doing it to others, because they will question my sick form of love too

sometimes i understand her

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the feeling of loving them all so deeply that you find yourself wanting to run away and not look back.

sometimes i understand her

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sometimes i understand her

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i just want to be good enough and ill never be good enough

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and dont just go "just say it", there is something wrong with my brain that doesnt let me say it

i just want to be allowed to say no, someone olease teach me to say no

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i just want to be allowed to say no, someone olease teach me to say no

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I just want to get back to doing things right

I want to be good at studying again. At doing housework. At drawing. At writing. At not being a nuisance for my family. At being decent in social relationships

Everything just became incredibly difficult and I can't do stuff like I used to

What does this mean? Is it burnout? But I'm not doing anything big, I'm out of high school

I'm feeling pretty useless

[failingfuture]

— Jennifer Niven, from “All the Bright Places.”

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the traumatized child thing of getting really stressed whenever you have to ask for clarification on something bc you Know the yelling is coming

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Me: You know how when you were a kid and you’d wish that you’d get sick or injured in a way that would justify why you didn’t live up to your potential?

Everybody, apparently: No?

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did you imagine your own tragic death a lot as a child or are you normal

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tragedy for them? me? either/both

the longer i go the more i unintentionally set ppl up to be well off on their own without me

my heart breaks and fights against the notion, but my inner mind knows itll lessen the blow of tragedy

[failingfuture]

the longer i go the more i unintentionally set ppl up to be well off on their own without me

my heart breaks and fights against the notion, but my inner mind knows itll lessen the blow of tragedy

[failingfuture]

but no change changes the fact that im not there

im not there.