fakepawnstarsplots

[fakepawnstarsplots]

Customer: Hey hey Rick, you'll never guess what I've gotten my hands on

Rick: Well, what do we have here?

Customer: It's the genuine, unredacted Epstein Files!

Rick: What the hell, how did you get all this?

Customer: Well, let's just say I'm the reason why Pam Bondi went from saying it was on her desk to saying it doesn't exist!

Both: *laughs*

Chum Lee: Did you say the Epstein Files? Huh-hey so this is the real deal huh?? R-Rick I'll handle this guy. I know a lot about this topic and I know what this is worth. I've got this from here.

Rick: Whatever *leaves*

Chum Lee: *whispers* Listen man. Whatever you want. I'll give you everything I have. Name your price. I'm begging you

Corey, eavesdropping from behind: What's the matter Chum? Your name's not in this thing, right? What are you getting so uppity about?

Chum Lee: *sweats*

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Rick: Woah, how'd you manage to sneak this into my shop without me noticing!

Customer: Hah hah! What I have for you today is the actual Liberty Bell!

Rick: That's a real american treasure you got there. Where the hell'd you get this?

Customer: I've actually had this in my garage for some odd years now. Antique sale. I always wanted to have it mounted somewhere, but after my wife did some cleaning, said it took up too much space. Said it was either her or the bell, so...

Rick: Well, most people would've chosen the wife! *laughs*

Rick, cutaway: If this thing is the real deal, there's no doubt about it. I want it.

Rick: Let me call my buddy to come by and take a look at this.

Customer: Yeah sure thing!

Expert: Alright Rick -- woah! Is that what I think it is?

Rick: That's why I called you in here to tell me!

Expert: Well let's take a look then, shall we?

Expert: As you can see here the bell has this large, iconic crack here on the side. It's really unmistakable.

Chum Lee: Did someone say crack?

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I'm Tim Buckley and this is my comic. I work here with my fiance, and my son: Big Loss

[fakepawnstarsplots]

I'm Dick Harrison, and this is my porn shop. I work here with my old man, and my son: Big Cock. Every toy in here has a story, and a price. One thing I've learned after 21 years, you never know who is gonna come--

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I'm the Lord your God, and this is my kingdom. I work here with the Holy Ghost, and my son: J.C.

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Im Rick Harrison, and this is my bald spot.