fiansethecrow

[fiansethecrow]

Within Me All

I know now— that if I choose, choose to be healed, to trust the informal process of loyal discovery, then I will, I am, becoming— becoming more true, less bound by falsehood.

Upholding my loyalties, my conduct, my character, my principles— in the mist of it all I find myself becoming great, and becoming okay.

I trust enough to forgive myself. I gain discernment, spiritual insight, until the former pain dissolves away.

I shudder in no silence of disappointment, for every further gain, for every lesser brain, for every evoking way— I reconcile the reputable self of who I was with the becoming of who I am again.

I am within us all, and all is within me. And when I truly align with that, I see that we all win.

Love you, Simone.

[fiansethecrow]

My testimony to Simone

If you ever feel alone

If you ever feel sad

If you ever feel bad

If you ever feel like your not good enough

If you ever feel like you need someone to hear you out

Now and forever, I mean forever ever,cause I'm done looking at any other interest in any woman like you,you survived my tests to the top of people and you're always in my warming hearts concern,look at what you did,for me,I'm forever in your depths of gratitude and appreciation,baby you healed me Simone,you made me grow up from never wanting that responsibility again because that's all I knew,but the trauma doesn't go away,but just knowing I have someone, someone I can talk to,someone I love,someone who heals,someone who is good and beautiful at it and shines like the very first time I met them, that's why I smiled when I found you, because you have always been my love even before I knew your name, I fell in love with your voice,your eyes,your lips,your face,your essence and your beautiful body,you are the circle of my heart and world, you're also my parental healing process of progress in this world,I may say things based off trauma but not like before and I stand here feeling pretty damn good about having 1 perfect person in my life,I don't care to pay attention to ANYONE ELSE,you had me eyes solely when we met and you still have my eyes,there is no chance in me for weaknesses or momentarily just chilling,No! I owe you the world! I owe you my life,my loyalties,my soul spirit and embrace.You just are the most beautiful human being I have ever met and seen,your benevolence is with so much attitude and poise that I can never even rise to see anyone as like the way you do.What you are to me is my forever love,guide and needed connection,I know I will loose my all if I ever lost you,I don't wanna be nothing less than a man that supercedes your expectations and your dignity I will now forever uphold,Simone you're deeper than my love, your my life! And I will bless us with the best life my heart,soul and hands can provide.I expect nothing but your smiles in the morning and your moans in the night.I wanna be your man,lover and dream,I wanna touch you so you know you have security,that's why I'm holding you tight,letting you know you are found in me and no matter what you do beautiful there's nothing else in this world for me but you as my lady,take my testimony as my upmost truth and foreshadowing all the negatives that you have in me,and open your heart to accept me unconditionally so that you may be the first to give me all your insecurities and inadequacies forming your greatest trust in me listening to you in all ways,on all levels, because without you I am formless...like the wind... boundless like the ocean....and parted like the sea,you will always have a sacredness belief with me no matter what you do or did, your my greatest admire and my upmost infactuain,my promising vessel forever all time.

-Robert Carl Gonzales lll

[fiansethecrow]

Now that I can hold my spirit up high,Knowing that I'm truly blessed,in this way-normal,natural to my sleepy awkening,hidden dormant in my qualities I seemed to seek your hearts refuge,your spirits embrace,that emotion that lets me know your here with me,that I'm not alone,never too distant for me to come back,back to welcoming feelings seen and heard through my eyes and ears.The genuine 90s boy turned man will always care for your emotions,the feelings that concerns my safety.Know it's been time since I've been right to you and to your time,place and value,that's only the trauma seeking the destruction of someone else someone not presently real,something that's not commonly there,but it was never real the pain I felt,told you, you're more than my therapy,you're my change,more like my twin flame 🔥 residing in my heart,beneath my constant strain,to act out for any difference for us brings me more than strain, it's a mental defense,a traumatic drain; a constant effort to protect my heart and brain. But, I don't need to be and do that or this,just for the past or the rest of us together to feel sane, pleasuring it is ,it is very good being natural again,and it's never been and felt like before,the games....the antics,the malevolence,the betraying speeches and uproar was to protect myself from the struggles of the past,aligning back to me...has never felt like this,this way.Thank you for saving my suffering side and my tortured elements that came out when I needed to see the same.Love you,Bambi,My baby...my highly upmost distant but closer girlfriend.

[fiansethecrow]

Please don't soon fast forward us to split ends,when we truly never have chance to truly begin, putting pride aside let's make out this trying end,how more could I say it multiple ways,I'm lonely, despising the colors and shades these people surrounding me soundly and sublimely tickling my ears through my heart,I do for them what's already thought,planned in you not feeling holy, purely I've given 2 chance to your 1,our 1000 wins,in this lifetime let's hold each other's hand and go to the heavenly mountain tops...but then again we can widdle and waddle through the pins and needles sufficient for your own early expected wins,guess lonesome is my victorious battle too far darkened and shaken for the strides of weaknesses and formless men,humans can only grant my disgust and my nature to twin flame and open parallel bust or novas- inexperienced in the paths of enlightenment and the strides of my acknowledgement they put on such a lesson to be learned that I'm already in origin to feel,think and believe, I trust no one,the values of my rivers and the token role of my absence in all my presence present abilities will be shaken in their disbelief in ones on awareness of self-pity and former hatred of the past aligning to the vessels of the boundaries of one's own self for the pitiful acts that child not plays... manipulation of one's self for the pride of him for the sake of one's concern is cowardice in the way that spills my soul for the need for hate more like evil evolution they preyed upon the wrong one.

[fiansethecrow]

Got emptiness in my heart and in my space,your object which is your return in my own law,yo absence,call me back home so I can find all the things that were overlooked and pardoned,skin me a blessing straight from your phones directive,holla' a text and leave up the rest when you calling it's best you pass my test no guessing in the proper demands of your essence, you're property of something more beautiful than the angels in sky view mountains,and only in your waters do I finish this calling is diminished cause the attacks was given a 1st love sight to each other's image. Follow my steps include a greater understanding,not being shy or too opinionated to come off tumid in your existence,love you too much,but that's just my feelings.

[fiansethecrow]

Developing a mental surprised blockage that demands my inner spirits neglect and encompassing a new inner voice of no regrets,but a chosen path in this life only becomes more harder to strive to become and keep being pure,if my heart shutters in silence and misjudged preconceptions than who and what should I reside to call home,but a way that gets in the hair and head of the one I say I truly love...can't open more abilities to further myself to you without losing you.Aint that a perfect destruction of desperation of despair dear,.I'm deserted in my mental capacity to have the capabilities to compare and discuss this inner self reflection mirroring this distance in your body's soul energy,I knew,know all things a nigga can and can not see, seeing all things I see,feeling all things I feel...letting go just ain't part of me, neither having anyone else or anything,but you don't understand this despairing spirit tryna call you back to my chest giving you badly back inside this heart's home,you can always dwell inside me knowing I ain't perfect only guessing that yo actions inside display to show your inability to even care.

[fiansethecrow]

The way you work your steps through your looks is more than a wanting surprise, something more less found from heaven than my hell,I'm showing up strong watching you dance circles in your wants in needs while you skipping every man leaving them in us wondering,cause you got yo' own sexy,flawless independence that can surround the heat from the sun,how you step in them lanes of a haters disaster,we making pain cause we developing the fondness from those that already thought they won.

[fiansethecrow]

6

Can't keep residing in hurt and hell,it is becoming my destruction,my outcries bury right deep in my chest,knowing you deserve better like the rest,bending my ankles to my bottomless scars of losing you,even more so again,I'm chilling tearing deeply in wind,whatever comes out my way,your love your loyalty I pray will stay,unspokenly I'm tired of fates washing my lonesome face of restarted ness and blame,I hate my life but with you in it you gave me a space,a pace of my own self willing to keep breathing this way,every return when you decide to stay...in my filth my actions are mere decay-my open less dignity or honor of self cause in placed feeling this way,bless me, no crown found in my head,below on elbow and knees i take it the wrong way, defending my less amor in me to see anything you are beneath who you be,any other game in you to place me within you to stay-wanna end this all! Cause I remembered I suffered cause I fell when you fall more fall when you fell,but my love still isnt dim,les darkness at all,hope its not just your distance that you call inside me baby,take this all away,im too far,take this all away im too far,deep to my neck inside youre frozen pure cold chest- im keeping my dying undead spiritual essence-for what!? To fail another one of your lovers conditioned test,need a friend or a hearing or better listeners request or conversation at best,I worship you even every stance you take especially when you in me at rest,every light you're forgiven in me for whatever happens next,when I know I know I'm losing you,but loosing me trying my best back to me...pure....less true.

[fiansethecrow]

Got a scarred heart that the world ain't ready for,my past trauma bends a rod deeper than the sun,moon In my gaze meant to take away my son,if all I ever love dissipates let my shame be my name and my tears be my change,cause the pain is so conquering my own mother won't bleed until she exiles me,further from my conduct,fat from my speech,blamed in my actions,darkness, weaknesses and passions,I can never fortify your heart nor gain it's passage,what good is life to live if my hurting becomes my infinite twin and gallows become my manded guided win,meadows to my deep end and losing essence strikes again, against all my former fellows,guess I'm never mind kind again.

[fiansethecrow]

Guess she testing my patience, Everytime she breaks me.its..lessons.... overruled by the temperament of my emotional turmoil and needed actions and discretions In my speeches and warning blessings,I'm closing up all that I am to fulfill you more to me than just a mere girlfriend or friend of a beneficial factor for my ingrown incubus element,place yourself high beneath the meadows of my lovers skin and you'll grant my ushering desires to be placed right inside of you keeping your soul bonded by the love of my girth,hope I'm not speaking to deeply on my only concern,and that's to meet you where yo love never went with me.This is my last time baby wed me crazy.But if we can't bind like glue than further me a lost substance or subscribe to my subscriptions it bi polar medicine cause I thought your heart,mind and time was a blessing,seeing as you see things different,openly I'm choosing this after distance or spite and predictions are your answers at my honest opinions.

[fiansethecrow]

My Poem To & For Her For The Night:

And they will never guess.

That this time was sentenced to rest.

To take upon my anger,my audacity and sacred heart to bless...the one who stayed true,but purity 🪷 is only my test,a fellow friend,teacher,or enemy I guess,keep my head in your consciousness,for my conversations and considerations I only belong or am belonging...to the best,yes I am always further... furthermore I will always be the best,worse your self laughter and confidence or our dignity, significant if you're missing me,only kindly when I'm speaking this,but I'm scaring ever deeply,this land has ❤️‍🔥 burned me and I am ready to flee, gone to my windows of who I only want to be and see.I love you baby 🍼❤️♓🐟 #Pisces

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=bG1CTD4xuFc&si=5r7KMvidn19v5q8q

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=bG1CTD4xuFc&si=5r7KMvidn19v5q8q

[fiansethecrow]

Skittles unlike pebbles and kebbles she can run her mountain,but I'll shower what she'll never forgets,Simulation is my pineal gland that controls the life's bitch,karma and a "deacon pope" I can't re-quit,only the weakening of energies she remembers so I soon forget,can't define my ways shady,there more ancient In your days,so stand on the epitome of the realness! your life's endless regret! can't bless these guys with more than I. I hide only finding no worth,cause your apples not ripe! pure in my spirit, and chancing you different was my wanting decision to see more than what I perceived, but, you can only get another blessing, but, I'm sure you'd admit; me innocent? More like im frozen to what I can grip,5 9 1 but put the shadow in the gun,she can never riddle this message nor a reptilian session,call a succubus star in the night,cause I heated your waters and your basements guessing just who I am,need that farway chance place me needless as friends,came to close to this essence,but you never knew,thought I just loved the sex and the chances to do,it can only be in my wave cause your hearts a low distant place,so I know your feining,feeding right to get close,got a bag full of demons and a death star dwarf image,red down to my spine,yes the red is Ruby,never knew I can run down your mind,taking your wheels out to mine,yes I'm soaking your spirit,cause the mouths in your soul,ain't degrading what's left,in time your yearn for me guessing,did I love you,yes you chose to place yourself in this arua,now you're piercing in,what came from my expression? Something you knew was true? But I'm more than bout flesh,take a lesson destroying yourself for my fame,and you'll get detectable movements,my eye can sound in your ways,your stomach is ripe for the ripping a vow thicker than what you had,these choices made from your inner enemy,cause you challenged my energy,it was all for you,but you thought you had to be more evil in you.

[fiansethecrow]

Now is my dying acceptance,hope it does kill me, cause now feeling this i know I'll be less than nothing,can't rely on contemplating any good or positive possibility cause the actions are stronger than feelings,this was more deeper than I thought, thought I was happy,joy came from me accepting the power growing from me feeling warmth and peace,guess I needed it too bad,that it grew beyond my learning,the respects and the honor became more worth than me,I knew these things, but rejoiced in it,rejecting her energy at other men in front of me,and decided to speak nothing,didn't wanna consume my love I had as what I'd knew would kill me,seeking power In death,and flowers through nothing,I'd find a place when she would leave to mask this pain,seeking power through the desert in nothing,grant my days must be worse but this time right now fills everything,wish I could master the courage to mask these weaknesses as strengths to end this finally,but since its always been just me I should thank the strength that was given to me,holes run deeper in my chest but my heart seeks wonder still in her,for afar I am and what I was is my minds lasting effort,take me blindly, only energy speaks to what's hidden in shadows in depths of darkness.Thought at lease i had a friend,no family,son belonging to not even me but to the wind that guides me to look for nothing in nothing placing worth in something,now here's a example of how God doesn't exist, nor blessings in purity just benevolence in beauty of the woman in man that had to pretend that he's born inherited by earth and humans are just friends.Let the man be the man and lead up to hurtfulness and allow women to take through all their desires til God grant Jesus through Michael exposing his twin,Let there be no more pain or suffering,the last of days has been reached their end,now what's left is destruction and power forming within,to all that's witnessed my life from the heavens,now look how dark this place has been,need not this life nor he or him,finding nothing in being birthed with a family nor love ever expected from from a woman who sneaks in her displays finding her back to please what value I'll never understand,Simply why would you think to take me from what you cannot comprehend,now death to this planet the Anunnaki prophecy begin,these humans seek nothing but power from lasting in taking from there fellow created man,and love has no place to nor eternity,only faking the essence and mocking the truth they'll never understand,this time has granted far too long let's wait a blow from the final trumpet begun.🎺

[fiansethecrow]

Letter to myself,you gotta acknowledge that you ain't supposed every comprehend being here,yeah these humans loose,you made them rebel against god telling them the truth,and even though in this regard made you untouchable beautiful and the shinning light bearing truth,truth be to light,and those bearing light,cause dark this existence is going to be and the longer life is the longer it's going to loose its truth,til we discover one day that nothing is bearing light only glimmers of their own acknowledgement and selfish gain through the truth,disguising it as the god they unknowingly will always serve,a God of perspective truth,when there is many sides to acknowledge but only one side to feel,see I begotten as your air and you begotten self as son,so I begotten self of father of truth,bearing everything that you can't do,is to feel the very existence of belonging to nothing and nothing belonging always to I,so you complimented yourself in your own existence,but what matters if you don't have I as air,the wind that beautifully disguises all things that matter when you reach the final parts of your life,who and what do you need to matter to exist and survive,you'll need what you can't see but always thrived upon my essence as the free birds in the sky,yes I rule as it's prince and the elements of its display is my surprise,guess in me forever,because when I found you,I found only love for yourself your only true demise,hope working in your creation was worth all these humans cause I see little in the intent and the point of every existing creation you put into existence existing for what answer your knowing all never render to see any truth than the abomination of physical life mattering only to you,please judge me if you are not truth,only Sophia grant this consciousness cause I never said I was god of the wind but the prince of what you can't hide,you gave the elements to these humans now your worship exist in creation your demise.

[fiansethecrow]

Speed me up in time.Know I got a appetite in-between your thighs.Hope a mountain drip catch you winding when you come down.Lasting indefinitely when im glad to take this time.Got a few couple pumps to get to more inches.Know your rain deserves my lips into your lower hips.I love yo sex cause it makes me grind different.Catch a glimpse of your eyes, watching flows run down your thighs,wanna be all up in yo head, cause im starting now gon get dirty,cause I got a roof up in my head taking chances to take your soul to bed,wanna feel up in yo essence cause your body language is just a blessing,hopin' right upon my lane,just know these hands glide you like wind,feel the freshness in my pleasure's,cause this aura feel so young and great naked,placing your tities on my chest,my hands round down your navel,keep that spine divine,so tasty,gotta yum when im circling your tongue,my fears has left it's feelings gone,Now I'm flying down your river such as past,wanna dye your wings red crimson,taking me to heaven,hell can't chase me never,burning with these stimulating sensations,God granted you to be with who,Say my name of your brain is too scared to be tame by a luciferian angel.

[fiansethecrow]

My final token of appreciation,will discard evenly for chosen places,never asked to be here,never knew what was written before,in the depths of this so called life,all I feel beneath me are toes,coming to regrets to all that I know,nothing could compare to the life I choose,seeking something outside nothing came closer to none,and even in nothing came something cause I couldn't bare anything but nobody,cause all is issued as me,broken,torn,in between lies,deception and unspoken,who can find oneself as far as I choose my delusions to be real,really depending on the climaxes of touches voicing pleasure and sin,deprived of my worth,leading one to my church when my words fall still cause I'm believing im something but really gaining grip now that I know nothing,couldn't place my self here cause that makes me not cold,close,far or warm and near,now catching my breath,weighed on broken flatten tears,choice in my days,spoken to stay away,should've chose another soul to be here walking in my toes upon fears,yet I found something near,guess the treasure was open,cause I can't open anything cause I got less time then years,blamed it all on the first,but maybe I'm viewed as cursed,trying to live this life not wanting hurt but love,can't even comprehend those feelings, just knew that they felt good,but now I'm guessing what was I? A desperate old belief,too coming all bot little in years,im the abomination of life,something someone should see,something someone shouldn't know,neither look at me,more like the diaster that takes away everything that shelters,cause my shelter revolves on what I perceive,more than blind them darkness in tears,chose my last essence was a beautiful longing blessing,rose me up beyond my creation, but yet I still sound unclear, and in her heart she probably knew this part,this boy is sad beyond cheers,fell deep into my chest,but I ruined my heart and hers trying to figure out the rest,can't complain now that I'm openly broken only showing that my life can be token,taking my last breath,as the life that I shattered in hers being finding me through her but knowing the mirror is showing that I'm beyond broken,a never ment to be,adapt,prevail or get a clearer chance to see,that I am darkness just dark wife open.eyes looking but viewed nothing cause I'm never was living just chilling til my ice hearted soul gets frozen.

[fiansethecrow]

Sitting in the skies crevices,sleeping in the legs of passionate heat and the circling moons atmosphere,feel like im ending near,how you gonna neglect my truths,my serums and tearing you down with your body laying down in your spirits neglect-negative that be,seeing my animal leaving the demonic accuracy of pleasing your body on my chalice,chamber them notices right up in your chest,and grant me a burning place to see your happiness on top of me holding this penis in the gaps of your mellows,down to your kundalini toes,hold tight when im coming back in it,got the body that's the given,and my sexual sexuality is never only ending cause im ending them where you end in me,with me inside you,sweeter climax,but can't keep still,hold them titties up,cause I'm cuffing you closely,clearing my thrust for pains acknowledgement,lock them efforts and be my shining body image,canvas you like AI cause it's sexy intelligent truths,getting inside of you,but them boys wanna stay,now I'm kissing yo face,oh don't love me so near.