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yall i just found the funniest thing on the harry potter wiki

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Just so we’re clear: this blog does not support JKR or her transphobic and disrespectful tweets/thoughts. The wizarding world and the Potter fandom are for all people, as is the real world. Trans folks and everyone under the queer umbrella are valid, you exist, and I see you and respect you. JKR is not the be-all-end-all of the wizarding universe. You belong in this fandom more than she does. 

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how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”

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yall i just found the funniest thing on the harry potter wiki

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The fact that Snape is one of the youngest if not THE youngest professor is fucking hilarious.

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the wizarding world, of course, has mood rings that actually work

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AN EMAIL FROM POTTERMORE ABOUT COMING CHANGES

“We’ve got some important news and wanted you to be the first to know. Over the coming months we will be packing up our box of quizzes, features and articles, and moving them to WizardingWorld.com.

Wizarding World Digital – a new joint venture between Pottermore and Warner Bros. – will be bringing out new digital experiences in the coming months.

Wizarding World Digital will be responsible for managing WizardingWorld.com and Pottermore.com, including their registered user databases (aka – including you). The switchover is planned on or around 15 May 2019. As Pottermore Ltd is the current data controller for your personal information, your data will transfer over to Wizarding World Digital LLC and Wizarding World Digital Ltd on that date.

Now, that may all sound like Parseltongue. So, to read more about our privacy policy and how your data will be used and processed in the future click here.”

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The reason Harry never truly grasps the depth of Ron’s insecurity about being least loved until witnessing the destruction of the horcrux is because Ron has been Harry’s most loved since the day they met.

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I have a headcanon that Hermione insists her children attend some primary muggle schooling before Hogwarts, just as she had done. Now, imagine Arthur Weasley attending his grandchild’s science fair, being the ultra proud grandfather….and yet also completely geeking out over absolutely EVERYTHING.

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Brace yourselves…

I just came up with a theory.

A while ago, someone came up with the theory that Dumbledore had a horcrux - Fawkes. The SuperCarlinBrothers talked about this theory before being bluntly shot down by J.K. Rowling.

But the joke’s on you, Jo. I was already torn apart by you when you said that all disabilities in your world would be “fixed” or “overridden.” You can’t hurt me anymore! Haha! I’m as immortal as Harry!

“Wait, as immortal as Harry?”

What do I mean?

Well, I’ll tell you!

I think that the original theory was onto something. I think that Fawkes was a horcrux. But I don’t think he was Dumbledore’s horcrux. No, no…

I think that Fawkes was Harry’s horcrux.

Now, before I begin, note that this is just a theory and that it’s midnight, I’m tired, and there’s a good chance that I might not get everything right. But I’m going to try. I await your many many many messages in my inbox to explain why certain things I bring up can or cannot work.

First of all, let’s get the shakiest part of this theory out of the way. The prophecy. The prophecy has always confused me but I’m pretty sure it can still fit into this theory. I’m just not exactly sure how. Again, I’m tired. So let’s just assume that the prophecy fits perfectly. 

And here we go…

To repeat: I think that Fawkes was Harry’s horcrux.

A horcrux, of course, being an object in which a person stores a minuscule piece of their soul which keeps them alive.

And I believe that Harry has unknowingly stored a piece of his soul in Fawkes.

And I know what you’re thinking.

“Ah, marauders4evr, you truly are tired. Don’t you know that you have to kill someone in order to create a horcrux?”

I do know that.

“Little tiny innocent Harry Potter is a pure cinnamon roll too good for this world. Surely he has never-”

Ahahahahahahaha.

Remember that time little tiny innocent Harry Potter stabbed a gigantic snake?

I do!

And I think that after he does this, a little piece of his soul jumped ship, merging with Fawkes’ soul. After all, Fawkes had landed on his arm in order to cry Harry back to life.

“No, wait, no. J.K. Rowling said it herself - in order to create a horcrux, you have to perform a ritual so disgusting that her editor nearly vomited when hearing about it.”

Clearly her editor has never read fanfiction but I digress.

It is true that usually some big dark ritual is performed in order to create a horcrux.

Except for one occasion.

It’s widely accepted that the reason why Harry became a horcrux is because Voldemort’s soul was so splintered (from the amount of horcruxes that he created) that a piece of it just broke off and went into this child.

“So, wait, Harry’s soul was splintered?”

Well it certainly wasn’t stable. You’ve got two souls that have been suddenly fused together faster than Ruby and Sapphire. And we know that Harry’s soul has always been unstable. That’s why the Dementors affected him more. That’s why he kept having weird dreams wherein he saw into Voldemort’s mind. That’s why his scar hurt whenever Voldemort was nearby or angry or existing or…you know that part was never clear. But the point is that we know that Harry’s soul is corrupted. So much so that I think it’s safe to say that it’s splintered, splintered enough that after murdering a snake in cold-blood, a part of it flies off and attaches to Fawkes.

“Okay, marauders4evr, take it easy. If Harry’s soul was so splintered that a piece of it could break off after he murdered someone without the need for the dark ritual, then why wasn’t a horcrux created when he burned Quirrell to death hmmm?”

Okay first of all…why doesn’t anyone ever talk about the fact that Harry straight up killed his professor? I mean it was in self-defense but still…you think anyone would talk about that but they don’t, not in canon or in the fandom. But I digress.

Who’s to say that Harry didn’t accidentally create a horcrux after killing Quirrell?

“Okay, now you’re full of it.”

Probably but hear me out.

What if a little tiny piece of Harry’s splintered soul did break off and go into an object in the room? Maybe an object he was holding like…

…oh snap.

Yep. If you want, you could also argue that the Philosopher’s Stone was briefly a horcrux. I say briefly because Albus Dumbledore states outright that Nicolas and Perenelle destroyed it. (Note: Not the Nicolas and Perenelle from my books, although wouldn’t that be an interesting twist?) 

So the Philosopher’s Stone is gone. Kaput. Which means so is that little tiny piece of Harry’s soul. Which stinks. But it’s not really relevant to this theory, it just provides a safety net for lingering questions. 

But I digress…

I think that Fawkes is Harry’s horcrux. Which explains why Harry seems to be drawn to him so many times in future books. The others seem comforted by his songs but Harry has always had a genuine connection with him which isn’t really explained. What if this is that connection? Two souls reaching out to one another, causing a subconscious connection?

“Okay so Fawkes is Harry’s horcrux. What does that mean?”

That means that if Harry were to say, walk into the Forbidden Forest to stare Voldemort straight in the eye and accept his fate…

He would come back.

Because really, it’s never explained how Harry comes back. There have been a few feeble guesses. This is mine.

The reason why Harry came back is because he couldn’t die because a piece of his soul was in Fawkes.

As long as Fawkes is alive, Harry cannot ever truly die.

“Wait a minute…Fawkes is always alive.”

And now you see the best part of the theory!

No matter how much Fawkes dies, he always comes back. Fascinating creatures, phoenixes.

Fawkes can never die. Which means, if you believe in this theory, that neither can Harry.

Which means that Harry can never die.

Which means that Harry Potter will always be The Boy Who Lived.

And really, what better way to symbolize his eternal life than a phoenix? It’s literally the representation of Harry - someone who ‘dies’ multiple times but always comes back. Harry and Fawkes. The Ones Who Lived.

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sometimes……….not letting a franchise die at its natural conclusion………………..is worse

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt.1 (2010)

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ok but the most random fuck you from the harry potter movies was professor flitwick’s completely unexplained radical makeover overnight

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I always laugh when somebody declares James Potter on the verge of expulsion for his pranks in fic because Malfoy was literally a Death Eater trying to kill the Headmaster and Dumbledore was like “Let’s just see if we can gently guide him away from this” I’m pretty sure the only thing that gets you expelled at Hogwarts is if you have already straight up murdered someone

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what’s the betting that potterwatch was just a radio project lee jordan was doing in his spare time and never actually stopped after the war

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Every Adult In “Harry Potter” Let Us Down At Some Point And That’s Important a 900 page dissertation by me

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what’s the most disturbing HP fanfiction you’ve ever read?