findingg-onederland-blog

[findingg-onederland-blog]

The just of it..

This is the first time I've ever been proud of myself regarding my weight. In my life. Ever. Because to be honest? I'm proud that I've effectively invested in the only body I will ever have! I'm proud that I'm making a change- & change is hard.

Weight loss surgery is not a cure or a quick fix. You don't have to allow yourself to feel shame or inflict self doubt based on anyone else's opinions. Opinions are so often egocentric, unfounded, or ignorant. And they are damn near always based on the individual's own insecurities and fears.

If it's not supportive, helpful, and respectful?

DO NOT ALLOW IT.

Adjust your crown.

Remember who the fuck you are. Remember that you've already gotten this far, and keep going with your head high and your crown straight.

No - Surgery is not the easy way out. I feel like It is by far the hardest thing I have ever done.

It's just a tool.

BUT EVERY TOOL IS A WEAPON IF YOU HOLD IT RIGHT.

I say to myself:

YOU ARE A WARRIOR.

You're are a caterpillar. JUST WAITING to show the world your transformation.

And in case no one else has said it lately? I'm proud of the beautiful creature you evolving into, not just physically but mentally as well.

I started my journey in July 2016. I had lost so much of my life overcompensating for my weight by being EXTRA FUNNY EXTRA NICE EXTRA SMART EXTRA EVERYTHING! Allowing everyone to walk all over me and make me feel like I wasn’t enough of anything to be of any value.

Even worse- I truly believed people who loved me were doing me a favor by forgiving me for being so overweight. It's funny- I must have done something right in the midst of this- because I have one hell of a family of friends who make life better. They are my tribe and I am forever blessed by them.

These days, I'm trying to practice gratitude over everything.

So guess what I'm grateful for!!!!

I'm overwhelmingly grateful that I was lucky enough to be able to have surgery. I'm grateful and blessed to have had love and support from incredible people. I am grateful for this second chance at life and happiness that I have been given!

I don't want ANYONE feeling that the view society has on procedures like the procedure I had is accurate.

It's not a band aid. It does not "fix you.”

YOU. FIX. YOU.

Don't get this twisted-

It is a FIGHT!

Know why?

BECAUSE IT REQUIRES SELF-LOVE!

And nobody teaches that in school. Nobody pulls you aside and tells you that, until you love yourself- you're wasting precious heartbeats.

My journey is happening and now more than ever my mind is filled with one more reminder to myself: No matter what my struggle or personal battle is...

My wings?

They're ready.