firesarecool

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Special delivery for the two asks requesting Jane!Bird and the copious amounts of other people on twt and discord who asked for her too LMFAO

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Don't mind me thinking about each flavor of knowing you each of the archival squad have.

Jon is touched by the web before the Institute. His paranoia is extended not just to being known, but being plotted against. He's always afraid of being a puppet in someone else game, of being caught in a trap. Of someone knowing more than he does. Somewhere in his mind he's still a little kid terrified that one of his friends will take off their mask and Mr. Spider will be waiting there beneath it to devour him whole.

Martin is alone his whole life, but he is alone because he is seen. Because he looks like his father he is rejected. He is purposely ignored. He watches from the sidelines, always aware he cannot join. His ability to see everyone else's companionship only making him more lonely. Invisible but ever present.

Tim always knows, but is never known. He gathers information by being intimate with others. He flirts and laughs and dances around. But we don't see how much he's actually hurting underneath. It takes actual seasons to learn anything about his personal life, and he rebels intensely against Jon trying to find anything out. (Rightly so honestly.) In some ways Tim became the clown himself so as to not be the sad man missing his brother underneath.

Basira is a detective. Like Daisy she is part of the hunt, but she is the investigator. She's the one who figures out who the "bad guys" are and sends her hound after them. She actively looks for information and once she decides who to blame she chases after them single mindedly.

Melanie is at first driven by her desire to know, leading her into dangerous places in the pursuit of forbidden knowledge about what is beyond. When she finds it, however, she is touched by the Slaughter. Unlike Jon, who reacts to his eye induced paranoia with a strong desire to know, Melanie reacts with violence. She lashes out against any threat, real or perceived, and against her own bonds. She craves the power to destroy the things she knows want to hurt her.

Gertrude knows what needs to be done and what needs to be done is destruction. There is no problem so big that you cannot burn it all away leaving those that love it in despair. She was excellent at discovering how best to unravel rituals and finding the tools needed to do so. Gertrude was a hot knife. It's probably good she was shot to death rather than burning.

Michael Shelley is interesting. He worked for the eye but was ultimately given to the spiral. His preparation for that started long before they made it to the arctic. Gertrude lied to him every day he was there. He is intimately aware of that betrayal now. He knows how much he didn't know then. He knows how little Gertrude actually thought of him. In some ways Helen is the personification of his own fears. Michael Shelley was the victim of exactly what she is the perpetrator of later. I’m sure the spiral liked her a lot more because of that. Michael was in some ways still too much himself.

Sasha is the weird one. I don't think she was really touched by the stranger before she's eaten. She met Michael, but wasn't really affected by the spiral. She fought Jane Prentiss with the rest of them, but wasn't overcome with disgust. She was jovial but matter of fact. She was groomed to be the next archivist before Jon was given the position. I think Sasha might have been the only one not touched by another fear. I think she was driven solely by the eye. Sasha had a desire to know and be known. Granted if she had been around longer maybe we would have seen more.

Elias is not part of the Archival gang at any point, but I would like to say that he is the sole avatar of that bitch. Thank you.

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I was wondering if you had any thoughts on Gerry and/or Gertrude?

How I feel about this character Love love love she did no wrong ever. Her outlook is really interesting to me, the total disinterest in the actual conceptualization of the fears. Ebay username that suggests she types with one finger and regards the internet with intense suspicion. Prevented the forsaken ritual using the power of guardian op-eds. She's an amazing combination of like extremely funny but also such an interesting character to analyse and it makes me go a bit feral All the people I ship romantically with this character

She had a brief horribly toxic fling with Mary Keay and no one can convince me otherwise Her and Agnes I like it but I don't have many thoughts, need to read/write some fic

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Disclaimer: I go back and forth so this could be romantic but her and Adelard Dekker. Her complete belief in ends justify the means vs him being as close to a hero as possible. I feel like they understood each other in a way that neither of them could ever be understood again and aaaaa

My unpopular opinion about this character Might be punching a strawman here but the Gerry and Michael thing wasn't her going like...'ha ha ha now I will do evil sacrifices because I am evil'. Especially with Gerry she genuinely cared about him (as much as she could care about anyone) and I feel like I read the bookening as like a misguided attempt at a gift almost? Like for someone who's visited death on so many avatars to try and make someone immortal. Bit of a stretch and I'm not genuinely defending everything she did but she's more complicated than evil for the sake of evil!! One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

More about Emma Harvey and her in general. Also some kind of timeline-bending to deposit Gertrude in the eyepocalypse, I want to see her grapple with how none of her sacrifices actually saved the world. Her and Basira to somehow interact, or at least for Basira to know more about her (the parallelssssss)

Thanks for the ask I know this is rambly as fuck

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Well well well

The people have spoken........

AND I HAVE ANSWERED

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My TMA headcanons:

Jurgen Leitner had the biggest, most pathetic old-man crush on Gertrude Robinson. He met up with her in the tunnels and then cried himself to sleep because they could never be together and Gertrude would never like him back or some shit. But not before gooning it to her picture.

Michael Shelley was hyper-mobile, like double-jointed. With all the troubles that came with.

Gertrude actually WOULD go for a loser like Leitner, but she never did because she didn’t think of him as anything but a source of information.

Gertrude Robinson was aromantic bisexual.

Gertrude had it going on with Agnes Montague. Not sure how that would work but it probably involved oven mittens

Agnes cannot be touched without burning, at all. Not sure if it’s already canon, but if not, here’s my take on it: the Desolation took even the barest intimate contact with another human being — or as close as it gets to one — from its strongest avatar. It’s a curse. My girl gets to SufferTM

Gertrude actually had a soft spot for Gerry. Of course, she didn’t let it interfere with her work, and of course, she skinned him and left him behind… buuuuuuut he was still the only person allowed to call her “Gertie” to her face and survive, and she did catch herself feeling an occasional fondness towards him.

Gertrude was being devoured alive by guilt for every person she had sacrificed for “the greater good”. She cried when she fed Michael to the Spiral.

Gertrude never, ever cried, even alone… except for a very few occasions.

Mary Keay wore her hair in two long, thick braids before she went bald. I hate the bitch but she knows how to carry a Look

Peter Lukas is Jonah’s sugar daddy.

Peter Lukas and Elias Bouchard have been married and divorced at least 14 times. I’m saying Elias because they have been married and divorced even more times with other identities of Jonah

Jonah Magnus was a plump, tall freckled ginger with innocent eyes, a disarming smile, and an awkward attitude. He made an active choice to only bodyhop into twinks because he was one at heart.

Mordechai Lukas was Jonah’s sugar daddy. Peter is just continuing the tradition (he didn’t know about that when he got into an affair with Jonah)

Elias wears eye earrings. Nothing we can do about that, he’s just that cunty

Jonah Magnus, Peter Lukas and Simon Fairchild are in an on-and-off polycule. Peter and Jonah fight over Simon. Nobody wins. Ever.

Michael Distortion can use fae rules if it likes to.

That’s it so far! You may have noticed I’m a bit obsessed with the “previous generation” as you may put it, and not the main cast lmao

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daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

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still thinking about that r/hypotheticalsituation post where someone was like "what if a potato chip spawned somewhere randomly in the world. and every hour the number of potato chips at that location would double. and the only way to get rid of them for good would be to eat all of the potato chips before they doubled again." and someone calculated that it would only take like, 48 hours of people ignoring a weird pile of potato chips before an absolutely irreconcilable number of potato chips was blanketing a city.

and then people were like "no wait if it spawns randomly in the world, it's highly likely it would be in an ocean" and then people were debating whether there were enough small fish swimming at the surface in the open ocean that would be able to eat a potato chip and thus save humanity from the potato chip apocalypse.

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In case you needed a reminder to never trust the stupid ass ai overview google has:

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I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

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A young man went into confession crying, and told the priest: “Forgive me father for I have sinned”. “What have you done?” asked the priest. 

“A few weeks ago I went to the library. I remained there until closing time and when I was about to go home, rain started pouring down. It was so intense I had to wait in the library. I had waited for a while with the librarian, a young attractive single girl, then one thing led to another, and I ended up sleeping with her”. The man stopped talking but kept weeping.

“Well don’t cry, it’s a sin but it is not that bad. You should say 5 Hail Marys and it will be forgiven”. Said the priest.

“But it doesn't end there” the man kept sobbing. “a few days later my elderly neighbor asked me to help her with her computer. Her husband was hospitalized and she couldn't send an email to her son. I went there and fixed the problem, but when I was about to leave, rain started pouring down. It was really stormy and I had to wait. One thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with the old lady” the man cried.

“Oh dear well that makes it harder indeed, but still - you should say 15 Hail Marys and you will be forgiven” Said the priest.

“Oh I’m afraid the worst part is still ahead” cried the man. “Yesterday I went to the barber. I was his last client that day. As soon as he finished and was about to close the shop rain started pouring down so intensely, I had to wait with him. One thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with him as well” the man cried.

“Oh dear, it is indeed worse than I thought” said the priest.

“So what should I do father?” the man asked.

“Well” answered the priest, “you should get the fuck out of here before it starts raining!”.

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Damn bro....

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saw this cute post and now I'm not going on reddit for the rest of the day. quit while you're ahead

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I continue to run into people that are confused as to why Americans have screens on our windows and it’s really quite simple.

Bugs

Diseases carried by bugs

Other assorted wildlife such as dogs and teenagers

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it's kinda difficult to talk about "cozy games" because that's an aesthetic and not a genre so its very broad, is it cozy to de clutter an apartment or go on a hike, is it cozy to be action packed or melodramatic or blithely unconfrontational, etc. but I think it's accurate to say that coziness is one of many shorthands that have been developed as an attempt to opt out of ideology, be about nothing. of course with a game made to evoke comfort comes a proclamation of what the author's society considers comfy

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when me and my boyfriend make meals we have a tradition of sending each other unappetising off-centre photographs of them in poor lighting. we call this "wikipedia food".