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Promises to keep.

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hartsgold‌:

“oh, my sentimental friend, you’d be surprised just how far a fancy cake might go with some of some of the more prickly individuals here.” he elects to let axel figure out on his own just who those individuals are. chiefly, he can think of one person in particular. but that’s for them to figure out on their own terms. “there’s a few pancakes left in the dining hall, if you don’t change your mind before you go.” 

his arms cross tentatively under axel’s flattery. “great,” he says, not particularly dry and not particularly sincere. “i expect no less. my end of the deal isn’t going anywhere.” that’s rich, coming from a spy, but khalid supposes he understands. anyone after those who slither in the dark must have their reasons. “i’d rather you not burn any unnecessary bridges. the less numbers we cut down, the better.” that said, they can’t afford every possible loss that every mercy will cost. “but it is a choice. if you’re caught, and someone runs off to tell the entirety of the empire, use your best judgement. if things are looking grim, i don’t need to tell you how to handle it. i’m sure your instincts will do the trick.” 

     “i’ve noticed.” axel plays it off well — but he’s seen the way one woman, in particular, eyes the desserts in the dining hall. however, unfortunately for him, it was nothing as serendipitous as a random observation. her hair caught his attention; that tell-tale, familiar white that makes his stomach churn. “that’s my job, ain’t it? noticing things.” it wouldn’t be good to bring her up with claude. there’s nothing to gain from that. everything to lose. “and, also, eating pancakes. after this, i’m gonna eat whatever’s left.”  

     of course, claude’s approach to mercy is something interesting, as well. it’s not something hinging entirely on compassion; axel can understand the logistics of it. “that’s true. my instincts’re pretty great.” he stretches. “my spy skills, too. i was only asking outta curiosity. if you don’t want blood, you won’t get blood.” ...probably. there’s enough riding on this to entertain axel, he thinks — the presence of a strange urge to prove himself has already settled in his chest. “spy stuff’s okay, but it can be so boring. with assassinations i get to leave a little present for the other guys, y’know? cause a little ruckus. get ‘em talking. stealth work’s much less fun. people don’t even talk about a good spy ‘cause you’re not supposed to get noticed as one.” there’s much less room for creativity. “but i’ll do my best for you, claudie.” a crooked grin. “gotta show you that my bite’s even better than my bark.” 

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One of the nights, Lea recalls being Axel

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@hartsgold sent: ❝i know i literally continue to gush at you every day but jamie i think you are one of my truly dearest and most wonderful friends i have ever been blessed to meet. sometimes i think it truly is kismet that we met when we did 🥺 additionally, i’d like to tell you that your axel is so fucking chef’s kiss and anyone who reads your writing can surely hear his voice, his thoughts, the clear echo of his motivations and perception of the world. its vivid and sharp and full of fire, like you!!! ilu 🥺♥️.❞ 

bree i swear that you have a sixth sense for whenever i feel a widdle icky because i think u always hit me up with random kindess whenever i need it the most LMAOOO thank you so much :( it truly was kismet huh....... a legendary occurrence.... and i am so happy that you’re enjoying my take on axel LSFKSDLGK I’M TRYING TO DO MY LAD JUSTICE!!! TRYING MY BEST... to provide us with the wonderful content that we deserve!! 🥺♥️ i send love your way as well!!! and hope that you are having a wonderful day. if you’re not i’m gonna slap everything that is causing u ailments so that you WILL!!!!!

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     the alliance between those who slither in the dark and the empire - there’s a lot to say about it. but, more than anything, axel thinks it’s convenient. two of his greatest enemies joined in unholy matrimony... the stuff of dreams. he can’t wait to set it all aflame. two birds with one stone. 

     still, he’s not the type to get swooped away by some fantasy, especially when the fantasy’s way too good to be true. whispers drift back-and-forth behind closed doors. a lot of what slips through the cracks is bullshit. but some of it? some of it isn’t. axel knows how to parse through it all - though he’s not exactly sure what he’s looking for. something interesting, he supposes. something useful. 

     and he thinks he may have found those somethings in this woman. “y’know, i couldn’t help but notice... you don’t have the stench of the empire on you,” axel drawls, finally moving from his spot in the shadows. “you’re not from around here, are ya?” 

@awakenfate​; rosamaria.

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We fucking love axel of house radanta

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whenever stuff like this happens im comforted by the outcry against it. like ok someones evil but like. for that one person theres like at least 10 ppl vocally pissed abt it. and thats just the vocal people. a lot of ppl are quietly pissed off too. like idk i think its easy to be like ‘omg x rp community sucks teehee cant relate’ but... that’s not rly the case? if everyone was quiet and it blew over - or if it was a hivemind of accepting that behavior, of ppl actively DEFENDING that behavior en masse - THEN thered be a problem. but there’s not any of that, to my knowledge. just anger and sadness and, in the worst of cases, betrayal. so maybe don’t be a dick abt the fe rpc or act ‘better’ than the ppl in it who got hurt by this. 

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hartsgold‌:

“they must’ve missed it, somewhere along the discovery of your truly benevolent nature.” khalid’s voice takes on its typical lilt, when he’s not exactly being earnest. “you’ll have to forgive them. there’s a lot to observe and reconsider, right now.” 

so he’d rather do this mission on his own. it only makes sense. he couldn’t wait to tell khalid about how much he couldn’t stand the man they’ve left dead. “i’m the only person who can offer you half of what i’ve offered you in this war. if you settle for less, that’s your loss.” he speaks with a splitting certainty. “of course i’m giving you a choice. it’s a job, not a fealty mission. you’ll always have a choice here.” there’s also the fact that he would have had the trail tracked, but that goes without saying. “besides, you’ll be lucky to find someone with similarly roguish good looks.” 

     “maybe i should get ‘em all a bunch of those fancy little cakes. then we can all sit together in a circle and talk about our feelings. that’ll show ‘em how much my heart bleeds for 'em.” that does it - axel’s little charade finally comes to an end. he snorts, shaking his head. “...all that shit aside, i wanna eat something sweet now.” go figure.

     it’s kinda amazing, how claude talks about himself. is that faith he places in his own abilities genuine, or just a front? axel's been analyzing claude ever since the two first met. he’s yet to see him truly waver. that’s more than fine with axel. modesty is overrated, especially in the name of something as dull as politeness. “oh, i’d never settle for less, claudie. you’re a one-of-a-kind guy. irreplaceable. i’ll never leave your side.” and, more serious: “i’ll live up to your expectations as long as you keep up your end of the deal. i don’t take well to being betrayed, y’know?” he’s aware of the irony in that statement - but that doesn’t diminish its truth. “though i did wanna ask...” he tilts his head. “...if anything - or anyone - gets in my way... do i have a choice in taking care of ‘em?” he adds: “permanently, of course.”  

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@firestarter​ asked: “sorry about the blood in your mouth. i wish it was mine.”

the closest thing to guilt khalid can muster is somewhere far away. 

perhaps it’s in the wilted flowers, picked away by beasts and thieves on the periphery of this monastery. perhaps it is a thing of the library that still lingers, and its books he has yet to read. perhaps what remains of his guilt is a matter of almost’s and never-were, none to meet the distant matter of his chest, as he has kept it at a healthy distance. 

he is not guilty between the harsh lines of axel’s arms. he has them just above khalid, propped on each side of his head. it is not quite a cornering or a pinning–– merely a looming. it’s the matter of what next that makes him wonder, as axel so frequently does. 

the man has been an enigma since he first laid eyes on him. and he remembers the first time he took him in at length––and he is rather long, his height otherwise intimidating, that stark red hair a jarring cut against his green eyes––harsh as the kiss of fire on his dagdan weapons. that’s something they still have to talk about; he hasn’t forgotten. 

but khalid is beginning to understand some bits of him that he likes too well. his efficiency, for one. his sense of humor, another. something immeasurably clever. something lost in its sentimentality. the smell of his breath that comes out like a wisp of smoke, and stings the back of khalid’s throat. the way his hands move across khalid’s chest, as though this is a matter of their very last day together. what they’ve done has made something desperate of him, too. careful as he’s playing his line here, he’s not as much lure as he thinks. he’s past wading in the water, and the sea is beginning to eat at his waistline. 

he could melt all the way down with axel looking at him as he is now. 

khalid has been playing so safe that he’s worked himself down to an old habit, though only one. when he was younger, he’d pick at the skin of his lower lip with the blunt ends of his nails. it was just a matter of absent thinking, and not having a place to put his hands. practice with the chang has made all the difference since then, but the last few months of this, the rarely-felt guilt and the often-simmering indulgence, has left him to a device he can only imagine is something he’ll need to curb sooner than later. 

because the low cushion of his mouth is a little raw when axel slants their lips across one another. the flesh is already red there, and it gives easily––easy, easy––he can hear himself think as much. he can hear the warning as it thrums in his chest: as he refuses it. swallows it. hooks his arms around axel’s neck and pulls him into his lap. 

ah, that’s right. guilt. he blinks just once, catching the sinking light that filters in from the monastery windows. oh, well. it’s not like the goddess could blame him for much, now could she? these lands aren’t his to bring home any blame, and the archbishop is a lost cause. 

he feels the air a little colder against his lip, then glances up at axel, who’s paused. 

“sorry about the blood in your mouth. i wish it was mine.“ well pleased as he must be, khalid’s not surprised at his comment. he scrapes the blood off his lip with his tongue, exhaling sharply and electing to pinch axel’s collar in a tight fist. 

it’s loose enough to seem controlled, but with a hot enough want not to be confused for anything less than exactly what it is: desire. they veil each other in shadow and light. 

“far be it from me to deny you a wish when you ask so nicely.” 

khalid’s hips wind up closer, until he can even out underneath him. the fire in his ears blares and blares until thoughts of monastery and bad habits fall away. 

when they kiss next, khalid is the one to draw blood. 

it’s slighted with salt like metal, but he could swear it’s sweet. 

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@hartsgold sent: ❝in that case, why don't you kiss me?❞

     there’s a possibility, axel muses, that claude is joking. considering the ways in which they talk to each other – test each other – the possibility is more like an extremely high probability, skirting back around to an undeniable fact. he’s joking. there’s no way he’s serious. this is the part where you chime back: you’d like that, wouldn’t you, claudie? laugh. put on that lecherous grin. wink.

     the problem is that it’s not enough. teasing. playing around. it’s not enough when there’s that hunger, festering away in axel’s core. burning away his insides; filling up his head with smoke. muddling his senses. and axel wonders, how can the absence of something result in a feeling? isn’t it more logical to feel nothing if you have nothing? wanting is not fair. yearning is not fair. claude can have anyone. axel is no one.

     but it’s just a fucking kiss.  

     axel lunges at claude. the motion is oddly familiar: precise, yet tempered with a distinct fervor – as if he’s moving in to kill. a comfortable reflex. muscle memory’s trying to make this possible; trying to push axel towards what he wants ( this time, you’ll take what you want ). there’s no time to say anything. no time to joke. no time to laugh or grin or wink. only time to act.

     the kiss is full of teeth.

     sharp teeth. desperation. the taste of metal. a challenge met with another challenge.

     everything has led up to this moment. all of the blood. all of the pain. all of the scars that crisscross axel’s body. a flash of clarity courses through his veins, striking his chest and leaving lightning-fire in its wake.  

     axel can’t tell if it lasts for seconds or minutes. doesn’t care, really. they break apart and are somehow back together once more. and there’s this sense of — singularity. this feeling that nothing else in the world exists. and if anything did exist, it wouldn’t matter. nothing else matters.

     you’ve done it now, axel.

     claude takes axel’s breath away; leaves him gasping.

     you crossed a line.

     and it’s all shattered, now, hasn’t it?

     he’ll never forgive you.

     his hands slide past axel’s rib-cage. fingers press against the point that his spine meets his skull.

     and his lips are on axel’s once more.

     it’s maddening, really, what claude does to axel. axel doesn’t know how he hasn’t snapped, yet. gone completely out of his mind. but that wet-heat in his mouth has him realizing — he already has.

     wouldn’t have it any other way.

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it’s officially bree @hartsgold’s birthday today, aka BREEDAY 2020, which means i’m GOING to breepost!!!! and no one can stop me!!!

so. hi, bree! taurus king!

i got into rp on pretty much a whim back in 2017. i knew you already at the time, through our personal accounts – but when you messaged me about writing together i remember being so thrilled about it. back then, i was writing yusuke and you were writing sorey. and despite not sharing a canon or anything, you seemed sooo excited to write with me and that enthusiasm engulfed me entirely (i’m writing axel now so i can totally use a loose fire metaphor, right? right?!?!). we started talking a ton and forming a bunch of verses together, and it was one of the single most creatively refreshing experiences i’ve ever had!!! i’ve always been super into au stuff and finding a ~kindred spirit who met that enthusiasm… it was so incredible and definitely allowed me to evolve as a creator. LIKE WHAT A FORMATIVE RP EXPERIENCE… when I see toz content i’m like ‘where is yusuke kitagawa… show me my boy… he loves sorey so much. do not separate them’ LKDGDSG abt to become like that with axel in fe3h too, i feel it in my bones. both of us have drifted away from and back to rp since those days – but i’m so happy to be able to say that our friendship never drifted off anywhere. it only got stronger and stronger!!! getting to know you as a person has been such a crucially important experience for me. we’ve talked like p much every single day since then, give or take, be it for a few minutes or hours and hours, and it’s crazy to think that it’s been, like, 3 years since we met. because it honestly feels like i’ve known you forever. i have so much respect for you as a person – for your sharp yet silly sense of humor, your genuine kindness that never veers into being a pushover, your wonderful sincerity and boundless creative energy, and the warmth that practically radiates off you. you’ve given me some of the best advice ever and have helped me when i genuinely felt like i had no one to turn to (and i mean that). you’re so special to a lot of people – myself OBVIOUSLY included, i’m in the front waving pompoms and jumping and shit – and i want you to always, always remember that. you deserve good things and i can wholeheartedly say that i’ll always have your back. happy 25th birthday, bree – i love you very, very much.  

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hartsgold‌:

khalid thinks to the fire that burned axel’s partner from before –– wonders just what element he brings to the table, if axel is fire. the wind, perhaps, that fans or dilutes the flames. 

“mistrust you? now, i wonder how that could be?” although most people are eyeing axel warily, as he’d suggested they do, some have little trouble including him with lunch meals or laughs. coldness doesn’t come easily to people like raphael or hilda. “i’m sure they’ll come around, once you’ve been here long enough. we all go way back.” but this is hardly about them. “as for those feelings of yours… where are they, regarding our next mission? sneaking through the pass up ahead isn’t going to be easy. would you rather i sent you with backup, or are you happier to work alone?”  

     “i know, right? can’t they see i’m a real paragon of virtue?” joking around about it feels wrong in the most satisfying way. axel’s fully aware that he sticks out among the core forces of the alliance — a glaring imperfection within a shining gem. it makes things interesting, he reasons, which is all fine and dandy until someone gets fed up of the flaw and lets it shatter on the floor.

    “eh, i can handle it.” a wave of his hand; a total lack of concern. “i’d rather go in and get out without havin’ to cover two sets of tracks.” other people slow him down. other people are unreliable and twitchy and the last thing he needs is someone stabbing him in the back where claude won’t see. the good guys wouldn’t do that, supposedly - but war is war. axel knows better than to trust a smiling face: the wariness goes both ways. that being said... “i’m surprised you’re givin’ me a choice in the matter. thought you’d wanna keep watch over me. aren’t you scared that i’ll get bought off again by some other strapping young man?” 

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THIS BOY IS ON FIRE

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hartsgold‌:

“i can’t say i’m surprised, but you didn’t look very out of your element in there.” he’s been careful about discussing next moves with axel –– early stages with new recruits means any one of a great terrible things could happen.

sabotage, subterfuge, sacrifice. he was sure to keep this one vague: it’s a test. “indulge me for a sec, would you? how’s the new job treating you?”

@firestarter​ i try to write you a love song but it comes out a lament.

     “that’s because i’m never out of my element, claudie.” axel’s lying through his teeth but bats his lashes nonetheless. truth is, he’s impressed by how stuff is managed around here. information flows, but not too much information... and morale’s high. or so it seems. 

     “it’s treatin’ me fine enough, boss.” war can be subjective, but it’s easy to trivialize this side as the good guys. screams don’t permeate the grounds. no one has that glassy look in their eyes. there’s blood and tears, but laughter, too. an undeniable sense of faith in — something. hell, some people even pray. axel forgot that was even a thing that people do. “though i’m startin’ to think that some of your lovely companions don’t trust me. they kept giving me looks durin’ that meeting.” as if that’s a shock. the good guys would never trust someone like him. “i hope they’ll stop, soon. it’s startin’ to hurt my delicate little feelings.”

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     to say that axel has a complicated relationship with the empire... that’d be the understatement of the century. the empire destroyed his home. destroyed his family. they handed him to those who slither in the dark on a silver platter and those freaks were content to destroy him. he supposes it’s logical, seeing the latest emperor working with those in the dark. working with axel, by extension... despite all the trouble he’s got brewin’ away in his head. he wants to turn his blade on them all. the war he fights is a personal one. 

     and yet — this is where it gets complicated. despite her repulsive alliance, edelgard’s goals don’t align with everything he hates about the empire. rather, her words seem to... challenge everything. it’d be convenient, tossing a lifetime’s worth of hate on her. but axel can’t. he just can’t. and it’s infuriating. how the hell is she working with those monsters? he’d ask, he really would — if he only wasn’t wearing the mask of one of those monsters.

     “oi, emperor.” he grins towards her, all teeth. “took care of that guy. shouldn’t be givin’ you problems anymore.” just another mark; at least his job’s still simple. “was there anythin’ else you needed? you know the drill — the ever-loyal axel’s at your beck and call.” each word is overly compliant; overly sweet. he makes no effort to hide that.

@hresvlgse​

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     “you’re a huge deal, aren’t you?” axel leans against the wall beside him. it’s been a while since he got here - but he knew about byleth even before he deflected. those who slither in the dark couldn’t keep her damn name out of their mouths — even more so after she got rid of solon. that, alone, dispelled any doubts that axel may’ve had about allying with her side. the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and the beef he had with that guy was personal. it’s too bad he wasn’t there to watch that old freak meet his end. there’s no way it was painful enough. 

     at any rate - it really seems like byleth’s popularity knows no limits. she’s always in high demand. it’s a wonder how axel’s even able to catch her alone like this. he supposes the hour helps. most people’re asleep by now. and yet, for all it has taken from him, axel still finds a certain solace in the darkness. “just seein’ how they all crowd around you exhausts me. it’s like they’re all fighting for your attention constantly. all the time.” he can’t say he’s jealous. but he is curious.  

     “what’s keepin’ you here? it’s gotta be somethin’ good.” 

@eisbyl​

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Roxas vs Axel