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TED TALK: ROSIE KING 

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reblogging

PS. I kind of think that a few films have gotten it (aspergers/autism) quite right. The majority & the popular ones though yes, focus too much on only the one kind of stereotypical aspie. So only parts of what aspergers is, is visible in the fictional characters created. 

Please read this if you can, this is so important to understand as it shapes the lives of so many people (including me)

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I have been given the diagnosis of OCPD (not OCD!), so reblogging

Reblog if you have OCPD

I saw a post about OCD earlier in which someone commented something like “yeah this is the *real* ocd, not when you…” and listed one of the symptoms of OCPD that I really struggle with.

It just made me feel alone and unwanted and like they thought I was a fake or a loser. I’m just really in my head and could use some reassurance that I’m not as alone as I feel…

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I qualify: .xphile since mid-1990s, (kind of diagnosed) aspie since 2000s (officialy given another diagnosis, only  because no one can/wants to remember me as a child, so the criteria for AS diagnosis was not conclusive for the doc I went to - proof of aspie behaviour since birth, but the “rehabilitation  services program” I was referred to treats me as an aspie, and united me with the only other local female aspie back then when I first started seeing that therapist.) 

Reblogging, because this has not  as many notes it should or could. And to tell the story behind my LIKE-ing of the post. 

Totally scientific poll

LIKE if you are or know somebody who is an X-Phile and is or thinks they might be on the autistic spectrum/Aspergers. REBLOG if you are a nice person who wishes to help me increase the reliability of this study by increasing the sample size.

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I do not know the answer to your question, so I cannot really help. 

But from what I have understood, then the people who are happy and proud about themselves (no matter if they are neurotypical, autistic, disabled...) have just accepted themselves the way they are. Who are okay with who they are, and what they have/do not have (in case of autism certain “abilities” and “disadvantages”), and what the world is. 

We all have “flaws”. Autistic people. Neurotypical people. Everyone. The key is to not look at them as something that gives you disadvantage, or something that means you cannot be okay with those sides of you. I think these people have just found that key to not care. How and why...I do not know. 

But a lot of it has to do, in my opinion, in not believing the “movie/media truths” about what things should be like. Including your looks, behaviour and life. If you understand that everything is just made-up, then you do not compare yourself to someone else, and when you stop comparing yourself to some “standard” that your or the media has come up with, then you do not feel like you are “less”

I guess some people look at the not having friends or work, because of not knowing how to “read people” and not being good at socializing/working in crowded environments not thinking it means they are lacking of something. But being ok without friends, and not getting a job can be looked at as not disaster, but just ok events/as things simply are. 

These are people, who like themselves as they are - even if by some made up standards they look ugly, have no social skills, do not get good grades or have a steady job. People compare themselves, “apples”, to other peoples “pears”, when just these fruits, we are also all different, and cannot be measured by the same standards all. 

And also that having all these things (besides the fact that no job means no food/roof over head) means nothing - these are not the things that actually define people. The media has just made people think that there are certain standards and “ideals” ...and so all the apples in the world want to become pears, when that is not who they are, and then they are sad because they “failed”, when they were never meant to succeed... 

Accept yourself as you are, do not compare yourself to others (your skills, knowledge etc to others), and be okay with what you have (instead of wishing to have more, or different “personality, skills....whatever”), and not see the things that bother you as disadvantage. But just as who and what you are. Also find (think about) your so called strengths, and focus more on those. 

Acceptance

It looks like on Tumblr there’re lots of people diagnosed (or self-diagnosed) with autism/asd/ocd/mental disorder in general, who are happy and proud.

I suppose not everyone of you is a genius with a pretty normal social life, a good job or perfect grades in school. So, please, enlighten me. Why are you so proud of yourself? Because I’m struggling with this since I was a kid and I’d give literally everything to be just normal. My adolescence was pretty shit because of this, and my childhood even worse, but if I’d born/grew up normal everything’d have been probably fine, so I really don’t understand.

I’m used to not understand why people say what they say, I hate it and I can’t help but asking. So, please, can anyone come here and explain?

And, bear in mind, I’m not angry, shit talking or saying that you’re faking it - I know sometimes people feel attacked even when they’re not - really. I just really need to understand why.

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I might have misunderstood something, but here is my comment: 

IQ tests are done in all countries, and in all languages, not just in the USA & in English. And someone, who lives in France & speaks French can do the test in French. Someone living in China in Chinese. And so on. You do not have to take the test in English, a foreign/second language. (I did mine in my first language) So...unless you choose to do so, there is no disadvantage from language barrier.  

Also, I do not know if the IQ topic is so serious in USA (just like gun violence and racism & police incident), but I have never heard anyone anywhere in my real life speak about IQ tests the way it is described here/in linked posts - that someone measures a person's worth by iq score/intelligence. So I guess that is why I have trouble getting behind all this. This just never happens in real life in the world where i live. 

Yes, there probably are people somewhere, to whom only their/your iq score matters, and not actual knowledge, skills, abilities, personality... the actual person. But let them holler in darkness. Everyone knows what iq tests really are - a scale that measures how a person does in certain tasks. It measures only a narrow range of things - usually mathematical, visual, and linguistic knowledge and ability to analyze specific given information. Very specific functions. Nothing more, nothing less. The tests are not even meant to do anything else. 

All the different iq tests are very questionable. Yes, they tell something about the person. But no, they are not the single measuring instrument for measuring a person's skills, abilities, ... or worth. And to claim that iq = worth is just ridiculous. And I am sorry, but the only place I, a foreigner, have encountered  anyone claiming this, is in online posts made by autistic community. Post like these that claim iq is ableist. Then again, I do not communicate with people online who could have such ideas, so if anyone else is saying/thinking this, I am just not aware. 

I completely do not get the racist and sexist part, because really, iq does not depend on your sex or race. If someone uses an iq test in a way that can be racist or sexist (I really do not get how that can be) then it is not the iq test that is ableist, but the person misusing it. 

I personally do not think the topic of iq needs to be put on display this much - by neither side. It really matters not. It is one test, one measuring device. Not the only one. 

IQ tests matter, when we think of the many intelligent people from history, who have applied their knowledge into creating paintings, music, art, inventing things...etc...great thinkers, scientists, artists...of the world. Most of them probably had a high iq, because to create something you need the ability to “do your thing”. I would not go as far as to say iq and intelligence are meaningless and ableist, because without intelligent people we would not be here sharing these thought, because we would not have computers, electricity... etc. 

They also matter if someone is trying to hire a person with certain skills and abilities. That is the actual reason for the tests. If someone is seeking for an employee who can solve math problems under pressure, then with tests you can also find out who could be suitable. Just like when looking for a pilot, one would test your eyesight, and “pilot training”. It is not ableist, it is finding the person for a certain job. 

But of course the tests should be improved and or other tests be used, too. 

From the examples in the comments section I got some info, and must say that if someone somewhere really says to a person, who is not good at math or spelling that that person is “stupid”, then that is not a valid argument. That is just the person saying that showing their “stupidness”. But we cannot, no matter how much we want to, make these people understand that the only thing wrong here is their understanding of things and calling people names based on how the person does in one area. Ignorant people will never begin to understand that they are the problem. 

Perhaps I have a too thick skin, but if someone used an “ableist” insult word to describe be, one that is incorrect (”You are so stupid because you do not have a PHd”, “You're insane!”) then I would not call the name-caller ableist or the words used ableist, because all they are is incorrect. Sidenote: I actually think the second is true as I must be insane/deviate from the norm to think they way I do (and I am insane & I say that out loud sometimes, because I believe it to be true). 

Also, I see no harm in “the movie was insanely good!” because in here it means “it was VERY good”, so I do not agree that certain words should be avoided completely to not “hurt” those people, who only see the one, negative meaning of the word, not what it means in that other context.  

Simply because someone somewhere or at one point certain words are/were used as “insults” does not mean that is my definition of the word. And really, soon we will run out of words to use for certain things,  because every word is soon used as an insult by someone somewhere. I just think this is taking things too far. Because the meaning of words is constructed socially, and can deviate - mean one thing here, another there. 

Plus, really, the words for example used in psychology/psychiatry a century ago to describe certain “conditions” for example I do not consider to have a negative meaning. They are simply a “diagnosis” just like nearsightedness or anemia. They tell me nothing of the persons worth or anything else. How anyone would suggest otherwise ..idk

Same goes for all the other things from human history. People “dismissed” because of their race, gender, etc. Like women not allowed to go to school, black people not allowed to share the same space with white people, etc. Those are all the things the “classes” system did. And the examples with WW1 & soldiers - of course black people, who were most likely not allowed to attend school as much, etc, got lowers scores on iq tests, because they were just not given the same tools before taking the test. It shows not that they were actually less intelligent.  And to use that as an example how iq tests are racist, is strange to me. Today we...mostly...live in a world where anyone can learn regardless of sex & race. Only serious remaining difference is economical & social part. 

I have a mental disorder. (I have...most likely... aspergers.) I have family members, who have mental disorder and other psychiatric diagnosis. But I do not get offended, when someone “calls me names”.  If I were to apply the autistic online community's beliefs into my past then I would need serious help, because if I were to take everything “into heart”, my past/childhood would be such a sad, tragic story. And it was not. Neither then, when I did not know that all those words, and all those behaviours I experienced were so very ableist... not now, when I am aware that they are considered such. Yes, there are things that you cannot say to another person, but the way it is told online...nothing can be said, because everything is considered offencive.

I also am stupid. I know I am. In so many ways, and areas.  Just like I am smart in others. So is everyone else. No one is good at everything and bad at everything. People, who you feel being insulted and mistreated, you have to understand that someone saying that you are stupid (in one area/thing) does not mean you are not an expert in another. And also not take it as an insult, but as a simple fact. This is just how things are. Like I am good with languages, and many other things, but I am hopeless when it comes to emotion, understanding people, rocket science, and so many other things. 

Yes, smarts also depends a bit on the environment. If a child is never read to, never allowed to read, explore things (whether cause of economical or other reasons), feed their curiosity, then the growth of “smarts” is reduced. A child, like a plant, if not watered properly (guided, given opportunities) will not blossom, but dry out. Smarts means “knowledge”, and “using ones specific abilities” ... it means being good at something (not being good at something does not equal worthless!)... it can be math or knitting. 

I get it that this is viewed as unpopular and ableist view, but I cannot view it all differently. 

We, the a/Autistic community, need to stop equating “intelligence” with worth. Intellectually/cognitively disabled a/Autistics exist. Intellectually/cognitively disabled people are just as worthy of respect as anyone else. All disabled people deserve the same dignity that non-disabled people do.

Further reading: “The Mismeasure of Man” by Stephen Gould (I read the revised version)

http://disabledfeminists.com/2009/10/23/ableist-word-profile-intelligence/ http://www.autistichoya.com/2012/07/on-ableism-in-autism-and-autistic.html https://eateroftrees.wordpress.com/2011/08/31/intelligence-is-ableist-but-not-for-the-reason-you-think/

http://www.apa.org/monitor/2009/01/assessment.aspx http://www.jstor.org/stable/3789553? http://www.publiceye.org/magazine/v09n1/eugenics.html

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So proud of the other aspergirl in my city. 

She is now doing seminars/workshops for NTs about “What would it be like for NTs to live in an Aspie world”. Basically she gives lectures to neurotypicals, and shares the aspie pov of the world. What it is like to live in a neurotypical world as an aspie. And how if the world would be made for aspies, how “hard” would it be for NTs to “fit in”.  Basically showing what it means, and how if things were reversed, NTs would realize it is not “easy”. Educating people. Broadening their view. Making them understand what it actually means to “be different” and what living in a world not made suitable for you is like. 

(And the things aspies “need” are not just “moods” that “you should get over with/deal with” which is what many “hf” aspies, like she and I, are thought to have. Be it about freaking out about not having a certain seating place or lighting, or anything else.) 

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I have not googled that (until right now, and yes page 1 is only for parents, but perhaps on page 25 there is something else?) and my logic might be wrong here, but isnt it necessary for actually autistic people to write and post those tips online for you/others/us to read them? 

If there are no tips posts online by autistic people (and not by friends and family members of autistic people), then does that not mean autistic people do not post that many/any tips? Otherwise...would those tips not be clicked and read more, and therefore show up first when you google something? Or is my logic very flawed here? 

I support the idea that autistic people write and post all sort of “tips/how to..” posts online. Only that way can the voices be heard. 

man it really gets on my nerves that when I google stuff like “Tips for traveling when youre autistic” all I get is stuff by written by non-autistic parents! Please let autistic people’s voices be heard…

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This!

PS. please don't read under cut, if you have to go to the hospital or other place soon, where food options are very limited. 

Food and eating have always been one of my sensitive points. Luckily my mum, even if she “complained”, made me special extra dinners. But because my very selective eating habits were not “moods”, I basically developed complexes. Going to other kids birthday parties, visiting people/relatives became hard, because by not eating I was disrespecting the cook and the food. 

I had to keep visiting relatives and others, when my family did, but I did stop going to birthday parties and other such events. Largely because in this modern time autistic view I was “bullied/harassed” due to my eating. And a few years later, in my teens, I got a new food related “complex”. I have a cousin, who is 7 years younger than me, and our mothers are sisters, and they/we visited often. So now I was also “bad” because I “taught” the young, impressionable (sp?) kid to be “picky” about food. 

I was so scared for years that I was causing others to eat badly, and not get all the needed nutrients & vitamins from a variety of foods. I still am scared of this, but just not as much. 

Right now I see the same with my niece and nephew (so far they are small,  and if they ask why auntie eats differently, they are told “aunties doctors orders”). But while I agree that if these kids could always choose themselves, they would basically only eat candy, and maccaroni, but they need different kind of nutrients, then I do not get the saying “if you do not eat your food, then it says you do not like mommys cooking”. Especially if they order one thing - perfectly nice food, but parents, as all-knowing adults, make something different or make the food differently (like the other day, maccaroni with sauce, when she nicely asked without sauce). 

And even if she has no food sensitivity, and “her tummy is full” when if comes to dinner, but has enough room for sweets, I still think that all people who decide to procreate should only do so if they are sure they have the time and energy to cater to their offspring. That includes making the effort of preparing two dishes for dinner. If a person is too busy, too “comfortable” or too narrow-minded, they should not have kids. I understand that by my logic at least 90 percent of parents “should not” be parents, but that is my view

I understand that kids dont yet understand the need to eat different foods, to get different nutrients, but I Do not understand the. “you have to try everything once” before refusing that food...

My two experiments with not refusing foods I knew I “Do not” eat actually ended in thowing up. Both in my 20s, when I was being “polite to the cook”, and eating things not ok because of texture and other reasons. 2nd time I regurgitated secretly after others were asleep. Started feeling bad, and quietly went to bathroom. Told no one the food did make me ill. Mentioned in years later to someone. Their answer, as usual, it is all in my mind, and because I Think of those foods as “bad”, I react. Wonderful...

that autism feel when you can’t stand certain foods for their texture or taste or how generally wrong they taste, and people proceed to force you to eat the things even when there’s a risk of you vomiting from eating it, making the whole thing worse 

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Changes

Especially in the past few years (like last five years or so) both my eyesight and memory have gone way worse. 

Hos does it manifest: 

My eyesight keeps getting worse year-by-year, and it is now not growing so much in numbers (in medical terms I have high myopia, which means my eyesight is worse than -6diopters. In my case it is double in that... - 12)

I keep making more and more typos when I type on the keyboard. I re-read everything, but most of the time I still have so many errors. I “rearrange letters” in words, I “replace letters” in words. House becomes Huose. Tablet becomes Tablit. I have noticed, though, that I make less errors when typing in English. But whenever I re-read my e-mails written  in my mother tongue (to “family and friends)” when reading the reply I see all the errors. And sometimes the words make no sense at all. Railroad has become Ralerood. It is that horrible. Yet my eye doctor says everything is perfect! (meaning: as perfect as someone with my eyesight can have)

I keep mixing up words more and more when speaking. Mostly it is noticed by my 4-year-old niece, when I say “cat” instead of “dog”. Basically switching similar words. Like instead of “I drink coffee” I say "I drink tea”. Perhaps I just notice it the most when I am babysitting her, because she notices everything and points it out when I and others do not notice.

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This!

I am around the same age. 

I have never really understood this type of categorizing. Like certain things are only appropriate to do when you are a teen/an adult or if you are a boy/a girl. How things that actually do not matter on age, gender, or other things like that, are said to be “appropriate” for only certain “groups” of people. 

I am in my thirties, and I dress and act like “a teen”. I am emotionally less mature than my 4-year-old niece. I act “childish” all the time. I wear my hair often in “pippi” braids. I can just spontaneously start “dancing/jumping up and down” at times... And while I have never been interested in comic books, cartoons, fairy tale/stories, or video games specifically, i watch other kind of tv shows a lot for example, and make “fandom edits” (though now just whenever I feel like it, not “can you make me a banner?” kind of way). 

Luckily i think people have “given up” on getting me to do “age appropriate” things. But yeah, in my late teens and early 20s I had a lot “why don't you hang out with us”, or “why don't you party”, or “why do you do this/that”, and “why don't you do this/ that” and how I should “be an adult”...in lack of better words. 

autism problem #128

when people try to stop you from liking what you like because you’re supposed to have “age-appropriate interests”

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This applies to every day of the week, month, and year. 

For everyone who is going to go through the autism tag today and tell parents, friends, and family members of autistic children what is wrong with Autism $peaks, please remember to be gentle. These people don’t realize they are doing anything wrong. They aren’t aware that they are hurting autistics. They want to help and bring awareness. I’ve seen plenty of #liub post where they didn’t want a cure they just talked about how much they loved and were proud of their autistic family member. Don’t go out and tell them that they are horrible people, they’re simply misinformed, so let’s inform them in a positive way that will show them the difference between autism awareness and autism acceptance!

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anything with strong smells, anything not from the "i want this/I like these things" list, anything that requires going to big, crowded, noisy places... yes.

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Need advice: toddler & teeth brushing

I am addressing this to all parents & care takers of young children,. especially autistic children, and to all autistic people, who remember and know what it was like at age 2-4: 

As I have mentioned before I have a 2-year-old nephew. He is showing some mild signs of autism. He does not speak yet (only a few words, including yes/no, but he understand everything perfectly). Which makes communicating with him even harder than it would be with a young child in other cases. He is not always able to express his thoughts at this age correctly anyway, and in his case because he does not speak yet, it is even harder to help him. Since he does not read, write, or use sign language or use any other methods of communication, the only way to know if something is wrong, is to either ask him questions until you ask the correct one (does your hand, foot ear...etc hurt) or if it is something that can be pointed at or shown, he does that. 

One of the things that he, like many kids (especially autistic kids) has problems with is brushing his teeth. I, the babysitter, can almost never get him to brush his teeth. His parents say it all depends on the day - on some days he has no objections, on some days he just will not do it. How do I (and his parents, who also do not have a working "idea") get his teeth brushed? Daily. Does anyone have any actual, good tips that can be used? Does anyone know what the problem could be? (other than the too wide term "sensory problems"). Could it be also medical, like blisters or small wounds inside the mouth? Something that happens on some days? Especially if he is ready and willing to brush his teeth on some nights, and absolutely refuses on others. Runs and hides under the bed, cries when  he is told he must brush his teeth...etc.

I have not yet asked the right question about why he does not want to brush his teeth. And he is unable to explain it himself. 

I know he likes the toothpaste, so that cannot be the problem. But he mainly likes to eat it, because it tastes good (kids toothpaste, with whatever flavour they use to make it appetizing). I do not know how he really feels about his toothbrush. Right now he is using a regular toothbrush. But he just got a vibrating one, too. 

I have been reading online and such, and none of the tips help me. I try all the tricks. I use the example method. i do that with everything "new" with him.  I brush my  teeth, and show how it is done, speaking what I am doing. I give him his toothbrush, I tell him he can brush his teeth himself. I usually ask "or do you want me to do it). I do not force him to brush his teeth. 

I also personally have time, so I could go on with him with this routine for an hour if he would have the patience for it (the big sister already understands that she might have to wait a bit to hear the bed time story, when it takes me time to get the evening routine done with her little brother), but i know that even though the kids were planned, my brother & sister-in-law are always too tired to have it on the boys terms. Because if we do it his way. then bedtime routine that I start at 8-8:30 ends at midnight - potty, washing, teeth brushing, bedtime story, sleep...). They do not "have the time" to brush teeth with him for an hour. So if anyone has suggestions what might be the reason, and what might be the trick to get this done, I would appreciate it. 

(I personally believe that people, who cannot do it, should not have kids, and i know that is unfair because 99% of humans/parents cannot do it. Physical needs like lack of sleep and other obligations put on adults by modern times like working 8hrs a day in order to pay for living on this earth - shelter, food... - is all it takes for people to not have energy left to actually do the parenting thing correctly, because society believes that no sleep goes only for parents of babies who cannot walk yet, but somehow most do not understand that even if the kid is healthy, it is at least 10-18 years of no sleep)

I am concerned about this hygiene matter, because this can have later consequences for the kid. I myself did not take care of my teeth correctly until sometime in 3rd or 4th grade. And I believe that, along with my poor/wrong diet, and other factors, is the reason why I lost my first tooth permanently at age 16 (torn out, because it was too "sick"), second at age 22. And yes, teeth can be fixed, and re-built (fake teeth), but even if he could afford it, I would prefer if there was some easy trick to prevent that situation. 

Only new idea that I got was "reward". I know they did the same thing with my niece and potty training (each time she went to potty, she got a sticker on a paper, and when she had a row of them she got a surprise) Surprisingly I just realized they did not use that technique for the boy. Neither for potty training, or teeth brushing. I am going to suggest it to them. I am also going to ask where the electronic/vibrating new toothbrush is, and why are they not using it (I know they bought it like around new years, but i have not seen it in the bathroom...) Another thing I am thinking of suggesting to his parents is "list of rules", where brushing teeth once a day is a rule, and there are precise instructions - how many seconds, how many strokes, etc to brush his teeth. 

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High/Low functioning

What is up with all the "high functioning" and "low functioning" talk? 

How on earth do people come up with such things to say about low functioning meaning "less of a human", "worse" etc and high functioning meaning "not autistic at all" or "needs no accommodations" 

As usual...my opinion differs from the autistic communities opinion here online: 

Just like a high/tall building is not better or worse or a low/short building is not better or worse, so are these terms. These terms should only be seen as simple descriptions: 

"high functioning" basically meaning a person, who is able to live independently at most times. It does not mean the person is not autistic, or that they do not need some help at some times, or certain accommodations. but they are able to function pretty well if the elements and environment are suitable. These are the people, who are able to get their message through - they are able to express their thoughts to others and make themselves understood (in human speech, in writing, in sign language, in other ways)

"low functioning" basically means  someone, who needs help in everyday life. That does not mean the person is "stupider", or "less worthy" or anything like that. It simply just describes a person who needs more help in everyday life with basic things. Describing a person, who is less likely to be able to function well in everyday life, not just at times when there are more triggers. These are the people who have trouble getting their message through to others. In some cases not being able to use any forms of communication (sign language, writing, noises, pointing at things, human speech, etc) to express themselves. 

The only difference is the level of help the people need. In classic terms. Isn't it logical that a person wish aspergers is much more likely to be able to live independently than a person with more "serious" kenner autism? It does not mean that neither of them are not autistic or too autistic. These two terms just give a guideline to how much outside help the person needs. Because even though "low functioning" autism does not mean that someone is "less worthy", it means in many cases that the person needs 24/7 caretaker. And because even though "high functioning" does not mean the person is not autistic, it means that  if the person has accommodations they are able to cross the street, work, etc independently. That is the only difference. And I find it actually funny how people are putting other labels and giving other (negative) meanings to these terms. 

I find this example suiting: a baby need more care at first, because he/she does not speak yet, or have a vocabulary, or be able to express themselves and their needs in was that are understood (but just like no one knows the language of babies 100%-...even if mothers are able to "understand" their babies), no one understand autistic communication ways 100%, because no one is able to translate the autistic language so that we could all learn it. Then the baby becomes a toddler, and becomes able to express themselves. Point at the toy they want, babble words that mean they want to eat/drink...etc. But that does not mean that one is better than the other: an infant and a toddler both need some help from adults...the only difference is teh level of help they need, and the amount of their ability to make themselves understood to outside world. 

We can assume, but unless the persons brain is developed enough to comprehend the world, and they can teach how they see the world to others, we are stuck. Yes, it could be argued that we just lack the "rosetta stone" to understand the autistic language, but until the code is cracked, it remains the other way...

There should be no labels or bad meanings given to any terms. As in reality none of the words actually mean what I read people saying they are implied to mean. Implied means untrue. 

There are no other meanings. Both people need certain things to function. Just like every human being. 

I just wish people would stop giving weird meanings to words and expressions. Associating certain words with negative meaning, when that is not true. 

I personally do not believe in "calling people names" as I just do not take the terms the way the "bullies" mean them. if someone will/would call me a "insert a word here" they would be unsuccessful, because while they might see it as a word that is meant to tease me, I do not. And therefore their weird make-believe "call-names" become useless...which they actually are. Empty words. . 

[fontaspiec-blog]

This is so so very accurate and true. 

Everyone’s experience on the autism spectrum is different. Therefore, NO ONE gets to judge or dismiss another person’s experience. C’mon, people. If we’re gonna organize a successful autistic community, we have to include EVERYONE’S voices. Not just the more “successful” autistics. We need to help each other out, stop using functioning labels and stop the elitism and exclusion, or there will be autistic people who will be continued to be left in the shuffle.

[fontaspiec-blog]

This is true. 

What surprises me is that even people who have been diagnosed with certain conditions (depression, cancer), and have gotten better (are not in the darkest place anymore), also believe this. 

People who have been diagnosed with depression, say that when they changed their thinking, it got better...or because they are thinking differently, the depression has not returned. When I believe that the conditions have improved - the elements that lead the person to the dark place, have been removed (be it a job, relationship, other problems), and they have been lucky to not have encountered these "triggers" again. People with cancer would rather believe in "deserving" it than using logic and detecting that years of smoking or sunbathing or exposure to certain elements are the more likely cause. 

And I look at them and listen to them, and cannot believe what I am hearing. And perhaps it is about me being an aspie, or an atheist, but I think that the whole thing about "positive thoughts cure everything" is the weirdest myth ever. I do not believe in pos./neg. auras/energy. 

Somehow no one has an actual answer to question "If wrong/negative thoughts cause illnesses, then how do you explain cancer in infants and pets?" When you ask them in a discussion how they explain that if they believe in this "positivity" thing, then the subject is always changed or something. 

I find it weird that this idea (that is being spread like wildfire through self help books, and groups of people believing in this, and spreading the idea) is the one everyone chooses to believe. But then again I find the ideas about many things millions of people believe in, strange. But it is fascinating how one "idea gets to be the globally accepted one. 

And I find it weird that people believe in, and tell others that it is all about the thoughts - like being okay with what you have instead of having wishes. I do not think people realize that there is a difference between one person just wanting thick curtains because they want it so, and another person needing these things because of a skin/genetic condition that makes them sensitive to sunlight. Some things, that are out of reach for so many people in this world, are actually basic human needs, not "wanting more than you have, and therefor being unhappy". It is normal to wish to have a warm, clean home, as not having access to clean water, and living in moldy house will most likely make you sick, and in need of medical help. And all the person is doing, is wanting his/her basic human needs/rights to be met, not wishing for luxury things just for fun. Yet sadly most people put everything in one box, and put the same label on all  of these people and their "wishes". 

But I have also come to a realization that I cannot change peoples thoughts. everyone believes in what they want to. And these beliefs and ideas about illnesses and conditions being "caused" by the people themselves, are so deeply rooted in majorities brains that they have become reality. Even if I truly believe they are not true. And even if I may give in a little, and say that perhaps smiles, and positive thoughts also help, I do not believe these things to be all-powerful. It is more about genetics, cells, microbes, and other elements that determine who, when and how "gets sick". That is what I believe. 

Everyone gets blamed for their condition

People with depression and other mental illnesses get told that they can get over it with diet, exercize, and positive thinking. They also get blamed for having it, and told that it’s their own fault. This is wrong.

It’s also a common experience of everyone with every condition there is. This is not unique to mental illness. 

Everyone with a disability, illness, or other condition gets blamed for it. People with every condition get told that it’s their fault, that they caused it by eating wrong, sleeping wrong, thinking wrong, or not being sufficiently careful.

People with every condition get told that medical treatment is toxic and wrong, and that if they just stop believing big pharma, they’ll recover. Even people with cancer. 

People with every condition get told that they’re causing their own problems by being too negative, and that they’d get better if they’d just think positively. Even people with spinal cord injuries.

People with every condition get told that they will be healed if they just have faith and pray hard enough. Even people whose condition is obviously genetic.

People with every condition get told that they’re imagining things. Even people with unmistakable visible physical conditions. 

People with every condition face this kind of prejudice. It’s not unique to any group. We should stand together and acknowledge that we all face it, and that it’s wrong to do to anyone.

tl;dr People with every condition get blamed for it and told that things like positive thinking and rejecting big pharma will make everything better. It isn’t unique to mental illness. It’s wrong to do to anyone.