fragmentsofwonderland

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Sentiment to my beautiful followers~

TRIGGER WARNING: mental health/suicide. 

There was a time where I was incredibly suicidal and I really struggled this one night. I had a bottle of pills open right next to me. I fell asleep crying. 

The next day, I woke up to 200+ direct messages from you all. That stopped me that day. I read every single message. Your messages resonated with me in such a way that I still hold them close to my heart although its been 3+ years. 

Someone messaged me something along the lines of (it’s been a while), ‘If you don’t want someone to feel the way you do now, then don’t kill yourself.’ That still stays with me until this day. Whenever I have bad days (which are significantly less now!), the messages you all sent me that one night, kept me going. 

I actually owe my life to you all. When I had no one to turn to, you were all there. Thank you so fucking much. I seriously cannot express the extent of my gratitude to you all. 

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Update?! This feels like a time capsule.

Hi everyone, 

Last time I logged in here was 2019 just to update you guys that I would be moving tumblr accounts. I guess I never did that lol. It is 2021, I am now 22 years old and will graduate my University with a Biology degree by the end of this week.

I’ve met the love of my life and we have been dating for 3 years now. This blog holds a lot of emotional attachment and struggles I’ve been through, and I don’t think I will ever delete this. I don’t think I will be active either though. If I decide to make a new account over the summer, I will let you all know (if you are all still out there) <3. 

You know that cheesy line, “time heals everything”? I just wanted to say that it is true. By no means do I still not struggle (god, I had a mental breakdown over the future 30 minutes ago). But guess what, I can confidently say that I am 10x better than I was before. I hope that anyone who is still struggling, reads this post. 

It will get better. How do I know? Because I am literally evidence. Our situations may be different, but our emotions of feeling lost and empty are similar. With time it will heal. Trust me. <3

P.S damn what is this review my post shit? I’m sorry tumblr is offended by beautiful women embracing their own bodies?! 

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Deserted Tumblr. Jan 2019.

Hello everyone! I doubt anyone is on here anymore, but I wanted to thank you all for following me through this whole journey of mine. I went through so much when I made this tumblr, and it was a perfect way for me to vent all my thoughts (like a personal diary). I battled deep depression, eating disorders and suicide. I cannot emphasize how much tumblr got me through all of this. ��I love you all so much. I am in a much better state of mind now although some days are a battle.

Now it is 2019, and I am 20. I will be starting a new blog reflecting my new interests, passions and thoughts. It may be slightly different then this account as I have grown, but feel free to follow me!

Why keep this blog up?

In case there is any content you guys love and still would like to reblog.

My new username is: cloudy_bursts

Why the name?

Cause I feel like a cloudburst sometimes, and the name cloudburst was taken (ofc).

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Louise Markise

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about last night….

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Shinjuku - Tokyo, Japan

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https://www.instagram.com/p/BJIPL3xjdon

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Nam Joo Hyuk for L'Officiel Hommes

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Courteney Cox.