freakshow-system

[freakshow-system]

new drinking game take a shot everytime my dad says “tmrw” when getting my id

[freakshow-system]

I hate the feeling I get in my stomach when something happens. I start feeling like I’m being ignored? Suddenly the world gets blurry, there’s nothing on my mind, and my stomach has a horrible feeling that makes me uneasy. Pmo. Holds my head in my hands.

[freakshow-system]

been a second, I apologize. I’ve simply just been posting art on my main and other socials, but moving on from that..

A new alter has been discovered, and they were the sole reason of why I had been feeling so off. They arrived and have not left front since; that leads me to another thing.

this alter is Roblox sourced, looks very similar to Noob, but doesn’t claim that as a name, in fact, they don’t want a name, which has made it a little difficult, I manage though.. I’ve also noticed that they feel very strong emotions when (while they’re in confront, observing) they see a different Roblox character, the Guest character specifically. Suddenly overwhelmed with a “I miss him” feeling, even though I personally have had no attachment to that character ever. They seem very attached to their Roblox source and almost homesick? Of course they’ve gotten a bit better, it’s still unfortunate to see.

I’ve grown to just start calling them “the Roblox Guy”. In lighter news, I’m also going to be getting an ID soon, and then a job! I hope that will be a start to me being able to get out of this environment. ^_^

this was all just a little thing to tell what has been happening, for those interested, and for me to have a journal and jot down some things . Aah

[freakshow-system]

okay but how does one.. know if there’s a new alter or not? Is it something that the body can tell by itself, or is it a “just wait until the alter comes forward” ??? Or will I just…… never know. Agh.

~ 💜 (keep forgetting 2 do this oopsie!)

[freakshow-system]

was contemplating things while listening to music. Nintendo 64 came on and I realized

I don’t want my little brother to relate to this song. And let me tell you that realization hit me so hard. I’ve been foggy all day and this sort of cleared everything in my mind, at least for now.

[freakshow-system]

being half asleep and hearing voices from what I can only assume to be in the “headspace” is a scary experience

first it was with dandy’s world, doing a Rodger run while half asleep and I hear a rather faint “this is a lot more complicated at home”(something along these lines) as I was doing a machine. I never heard anything again of the sort, which is odd??

however earlier today, I was once again half asleep, scrolling through discord (as one does first thing when they wake up) and I saw one of my friends playing work at a pizza place, then I hear a delighted “that’s my source!” im starting to think that there’s definitely a lot more alters than I’m aware of. Maybe I am aware of them, and I’m just trying to ignore it until it actually becomes an issue. I’m not sure..

[freakshow-system]

Can’t tell if there’s a new alter or if it’s just a very fucked up kinshift because I’m tired oh dear

[freakshow-system]

”I don’t like being touched on my back” I says…… little did I know……….. the fuck you guy doesn’t care about boundaries…

~ 💜

[freakshow-system]

I don’t really understand why the body’s dad does the things he does.

cw//animal death

apparently, our cat(using our here because we all collectively love this little fella), had found a dead bird outside and was eating it??? Instead of taking that into his own hands because I was asleep; he waited for me to wake up so I could pick it up and throw it away. Last time he had me pick up a bird that the cat ate he called me a pussy essentially,, which I wouldn’t have minded if it were him picking up the bird and not me. And for the record; my cat just stumbled onto these birds, they seemed to have already passed away before he got to them, we(my family) let him outside on occasion so he can eat grass and get some energy out. He doesn’t stay outside full time :)

despite that I’m quite contented right now, it might be because I’m still unfortunately pretty tired. Getting decent sleep has been quite sucky as of late,,

~ 💜

[freakshow-system]

getting into a new fandom is quite a gamble I’d say. Especially if I become overly attached to one character in said fandom.

it’s like I’m looking over my shoulder to make sure I’m not being watched/followed, as I’m still living in an environment that can be VERY stressful/traumatizing(??) and therefore am able to “split” alters that way. elliot from work at a pizza place/forsaken, do not come to my town. /ref

~ 💜

[freakshow-system]

Welcome to my freakshow, come and meet my monsters.

hello to those reading this introduction; as to not give away my identity, you all may simply refer to me as Fool, or Anon. I don’t have a signoff usually, as I am the host, however I can and will use 💜 as one from time to time, for simplicity. However, if there isn’t a sign off, high chance that it is me.

I am a suspected DID(OSDD) system, and have decided to make this account to share experiences, bond with others, and give a few laughs within this tumblr experience. under no circumstances will my main be given out, as I’m not ready to come to the public like that yet. I wish to remain anonymous as of now; please respect my wishes.

I am also heavily aware that what I’m experiencing could be other mental problems, as I’ve done my research, dissociative identity disorder is just what I feel is the “most accurate”. I am unable to get diagnosed as of now because of reasons that are(quite frankly) nobody but I’s concern. Also, I hope you’ve noticed, I do not use we/us pronouns, I only do this because I am talking about myself as a “person”; rather than us as a whole. This is what I find most comfort in. Other parts/alters may find more comfort in using we/us, or referring to themselves in the third person, and that is all up to them to decide.

a few sign offs will be put down for most active alters, and any new ones can update this intro as they please.

💜 ~ they/them (+neos) // this is me, fool or Anon

💛 ~ he/they // Amar

🌈 ~ he/it // Jax

🔪 ~ he/they/any // Dave

🐰 ~ he/it // Jax, or James

📺 ~ they/it (+ neos?) // we can call them bite, or lolbit

🎉 ~ he/any (+neos) // freshie

This isn’t all alters, just the few that I can remember and that I can confidently state pronouns and names of

my personal interests(or would this be collective interests? I’m not sure) are Fortnite, fnaf(heavy on this), dsaf, roblox(regretevator, forsaken, work at a pizza place, dandy’s world, the intruder, etc etc), horror genre as a whole, sally face, GOBB, NITW, FNF, tattletail, HB/HH(I do not support the creator!), TADC, TNMN, DHMIS, cuphead(show AND game), welcome home, undertale/deltarune+aus, creepypasta, Minecraft, little misfortune, Fran bow, BBIEAL, bugbo, spooky moth, tawog, hello neighbor, lethal company, spiderverse, etc.

I do art/animation, however I do not think I will post much art on this account as that would be a dead giveaway to my main I feel.

my asks are open to questions, thoughts, maybe even questions for certain parts/alters.. etc. any hate will not be messed with, as I couldn’t care less if someone online doesn’t like me; boo hoo.