friendlyneighborhoodtree

[friendlyneighborhoodtree]

An anime where the art style seems to have a huge problem with Same Face Syndrome, all the characters fall under like 5 diferent types and every single person of the roughly same age and gender look like the same damn character wearing different wigs. There's a whole episode about how someone changed their haircut and the protagonist spends the whole episode trying to awkwardly avoid situations where they'd be forced to admit to the New Hair Person that they actually aren't 100% sure which friend they are.

Halfway through it turns out that the protagonist is face blind. The art style is deliberately like this as a way to illustrate how they can't fucking tell most people apart by face alone.

[friendlyneighborhoodtree]

yo what

[friendlyneighborhoodtree]

Little Nas Are You Working On Your Raps

[friendlyneighborhoodtree]

being the local slut is so funny 2 me every time someone tries to somehow criticize me. someone recently said to me in an obvious attempt to make me feel shame “it’s like you just think sex is some random activity to do” and i was like yeah. i’m autistic and asexual and i love fun. you are correct.

[friendlyneighborhoodtree]

Thinking about Edward Elric as the Amestrian Military's specialest little unfireable boy

State alchemists can be fired for underperforming. We know this up front from the likes of Shou Tucker. And this makes a ton of sense from the homunculi's standpoint since the state alchemists are sacrifice candidates, and the homunculi would want to cull the weakest candidates and focus only on cultivating the strongest ones who stand the best chance of opening the portal.

........Then there's Edward. Who's already opened the portal.

There's no need to cultivate him. No gamble taken on whether he's good enough to open the portal. He passed the final test already. Graduated 4 semesters early.

And as such, has a free pass to do Absolute Fuck All.

And I'm imagining how funny this is from like an outside perspective.

Some newish state alchemist who'd only ever read up on the stories of Edward Elric, ready and excited to start their career of being paid handsomely with endless freedom to research and travel and do anything they want in the pursuit of science... surprised and confused to find themselves put on probation their first month for things like "ignoring orders." Which is, as best they had thought, a famous Edward Elric pastime.

Roy showing a slight bit of stress about his yearly state alchemist report, and Ed just snorting and rolling his eyes at Roy because every year HE just hastily does his on the train ride over (canon in the manga, a travesty it was left out of the anime) and it gets rubber stamped. Ed not realizing that other alchemists' reports get genuinely scrutinized and torn apart while Ed is free to turn in whatever absolute bullshit he thinks of 36 hours ahead of time. One year his report was about whether alchemy could be done via dance (conclusion: no it can't) and no one cared. Roy WANTS to tell Ed there's some kind of unknown favoritism around Ed making him literally bullet-proof but Roy has no way to phrase this that doesn't sound like he's just in denial and mad at how good Ed's train-reports are.

Guy from the Internal Amestrian Affairs sector who's responsible for auditing other internal military personel for any suspicious activity hitting about 1 million red flags for Edward Elric, issuing a STRONG and URGENT recommendation to suspend the alchemist pending further investigation into things like "literal bunk-buddies with two members of the Xingese royalty (enemy nation)" and "spent $10,000,000 of his stipend on a librarian to make her re-copy (what he seemed to interpret as?) military records in some extremely transparent effort to unearth state secrets (it was a recipe book but he was literally asking her about state secrets)" and "literally has never once obeyed an order, ever, not even once in his career, and is on public record having said 'I do not care about the goals and protections of the Amestrian Military. I am in fact only pursuing my own interests several of which are diametrically opposed to the safety and well-being of the governing body of Amestris'"

The issued recommendation is intercepted before it even reaches its intended desk. President Bradley himself has taken issue with it and denies it before a single set of eyes has seen it. The President's veto stamp is a terrifying hammer, used rarely, and it is now sitting on the auditor's desk.

The auditor sleeps with one eye open from then on out.

[friendlyneighborhoodtree]

People who give pets a bit of chocolate when they know it’s their pets last day are a bit of a funny concept. Imagine being old and friends with an alien who will live ten times your lifespan and they’re like “ah shit he’s dying, well since you’re dying anyway haven’t you always wanted to know what uranium tastes like?”

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[friendlyneighborhoodtree]

Light answers a tough question

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I can’t explain why this image is so funny to me but it is.

[friendlyneighborhoodtree]

have you lot heard about the tiktoker who’s taking on the actual government over a parking ticket? because she’s a hero

[friendlyneighborhoodtree]

I bet it feels good as fuck to kick someone in the head as hard as you can if you’re a horse

[friendlyneighborhoodtree]

seeking, yearning, reaching hands

[friendlyneighborhoodtree]

[friendlyneighborhoodtree]

Thats not what I wanted + crass

[friendlyneighborhoodtree]

tgis is so fucking funny to me. they accidentally Rock Lee'd a retired racehorse

[friendlyneighborhoodtree]

i was groundhog dayed once but i did everything right first try so i didnt even notice

[friendlyneighborhoodtree]

5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

10 years ago, I was watching my Potential and Opportunities dissolve and evaporate in an ocean of cheap gin and expensive whiskey.

But 5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

One of the exercises they had us perform was to imagine ourselves happy, 5 years in the future.

Many of us in that room had forgotten how to imagine nice things happening to them. A few snorted (well, I snorted), finding the notion that we’d even still be around in 5 years grimly humorous.

For about half of us, it was the last stop on the way down.

But I indulged the therapist. I was there, after all, because I did not want to die. So, I imagined myself, 5 years hence.

Happy.

It came to me all at once; an artistic remix on Norman Rockwell’s Freedom From Want, reframed with myself placing food at the table.

Sunday Dinner At My Place, I answered, when it came my turn to share my fantasy. I was asked what food I imagined eating.

It’s not the meal itself, I said, it’s the implications framed around it. Sunday Dinner At My Place means that I have a Place. It means that I have Family that will actually speak to me and friends who actually want to see me. It means money enough not just to feed myself but others too. It means having the time to spare to take the time preparing the meal.

A lot of nodding heads all around me. A struck chord. Many people with no Place, in that place. Nowhere that would lament their leaving.

5 years hence, as I lay down to sleep in my Home, with my Wife and my Son, surrounded by my Art and my Flowers, I reflect.

It was a long road. It was hard. We lost people. So many people. There were long days and long nights and hospital stays. Angry arguments with ghosts. I changed, in ways I never hoped for, or expected. Good ways, finally, for once. Slowly, against the backdrop of a world in chaos, I found my mind.

Sometimes, My Wife wondered aloud, what she did to deserve me. After some stumbling with my feelings, I eventually settled on an answer.

I’m a Rescue.

She gave me a Home.

And, so, I gave her a Family.

It seemed fair

This Sunday, my folks, which whom I have not had a shouting match in years, will come over for dinner. We will cook and eat together. My Friend became My Wife, and she took a piece of me and with it she made Our Son. There will be many hugs, and no violence. Good Things Happened.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t know what the future holds.

don’t give up yet, ok?

It could get good, even.